Him or me, she’d said.
Of course, Laura wanted her, but actually doing something about it was easier said than done. Laura never thought that Sam would disappear like that, but when another week went by and Laura still hadn’t left him, Sam left. Laura never got a second chance. Until now.
Would Sam even forgive her or trust her again?
What were the chances that Sam still felt the same way she did back then? Thanks to Jenny, Sam probably thought that she was in a serious relationship. Laura bit her lip as she adjusted the strap on her shoulder. She might have to be the one to make the first move this time. Sam had been brave enough to take that chance last time.
Laura promised herself that she’d talk to Sam, even if it was just as friends. She needed to apologize for the way she’d treated her back then, and Laura needed to find out if there was any chance for them now. It was a long shot, but she still needed to know. If it wasn’t a possibility, then Laura needed to figure out how to move on, once and for all.
Chapter Eleven
Sam wiped down the bar, glad that she’d asked Natalie for a bartending job and not a waitressing one. She was in the ballroom where about one-hundred wedding guests were being served their dinner.
Sam was in shape, but she didn’t think she’d manage those massive trays with several plates on them. She preferred mixing drinks. She’d just filled a tray of champagne flutes, and she was pretty much done for the evening. It was seven o’clock, and her first shift had been an easy one.
“It’s Sam, right?”
She turned to see a young man who barely looked twenty-one adjusting his tie. “Yeah. That’s me. You’re taking over?”
“Yeah. I’m Max.”
“Nice to meet you, Max,” Sam said, extending her hand. “It’s quiet now, but give them another hour.”
“I know. Someone else is coming in at eight.”
“Well,” Sam said, loosening her black tie. “Have fun.” She unbuttoned the cuffs on her white dress shirt to roll up the sleeves as far as her elbow, and grabbed her bag from underneath the bar, slinging it over her shoulder.
Sam left the ballroom and strode across the cream tiled floor of the lobby, glancing over at the reception desk to see if her sister was around, but she wasn’t. Sam reached for her hair tie, gently tugging it until her hair was free. She combed her fingers through it, tousling it until it parted to the side.
Sam was about half way across the lobby when her eyes met Laura’s.
“Hey...,” Sam said as she got closer.
“Hi,” Laura said with a smile, tucking her blond hair behind her ear. “Are you working here?”
“Yeah. It helps that the boss is my sister.”
Sam wished she could play it cool, but she couldn’t stop her lips from moving into a smile. The last time she’d seen Laura, she’d been kissing another woman. Of course, she’d been jealous, but a little part of her was happy for Laura. She was living her own life now, no longer afraid of what anyone else thought.
“Did you shoot that wedding?” Sam asked, noticing the camera bag on Laura’s shoulder.
“Yeah. I’m just finished... So, does that mean you’re staying? For a while anyway?”
Sam nodded. “I think so...”
“Do you have any plans? For right now, I mean.”
“No. I don’t,” Sam said, trying not to get lost in her eyes.
“Do you want to get a drink?” Laura asked as her fingers played with the pendant that fell just below her collarbone.
Sam’s eyes left Laura’s, watching her fingers slide over the silver as it caught in the light of the chandelier above them. Sam remembered the reaction she used to get when she kissed Laura’s neck, just above where her fingers were. Laura had always held back, trying not to make a sound as Sam’s tongue flickered over her skin.
“Sure,” Sam said as she finally tore her gaze away from Laura’s neck. She almost felt light-headed as she met her eyes again.
“You hesitated,” Laura said with a smile tugging at her lips. “You don’t have to...”
“No. It’s not you. I was just thinking about small town life. Two bars to choose from, and either way, everyone there will be wondering where they know me from,” Sam said with a sigh. “Do you want to come back to mine? Open a bottle of wine?”
“Okay. Yeah. That sounds like a better idea. Where are you staying now?”
“A cabin by the lake. It’s not that far from here. Do you want to follow me over?”
“Sure. I’m parked around the back.”
“Me too,” Sam said as they started walking towards the far side of the lobby where there was a side door to the parking lot.
Sam’s house wasn’t the most lived in, but then again, she only had one suitcase and a bunch of camera gear. It was as good as it was going to get. She did have wine though and a corkscrew, both essential purchases when she took inventory of the cabin after she’d gotten the keys.
This was definitely not how she imagined today going. She didn’t know when she was going to see Laura again or what she’d say to her when she did, but Laura was coming over to her place for a drink. She could work with that.
Right now, Sam’s focus was on getting to know her again. She didn’t want to be friends with her, but it was a place to start, and since Laura had a girlfriend, it was the only place she could start.
Chapter Twelve
Laura got comfortable on the sofa while Sam went into the kitchen to find a bottle of wine. She had assumed that Sam would be staying with her mother or her sister, but if she was renting a place like this, did that mean that she was planning on staying for at least a few months?
Laura ran her hands over her black pants, wishing she’d had a change of clothes in the car, but here she was, in her boring work clothes. She left her black blazer on over the charcoal scoop neck top she was wearing. She rolled up her sleeves, more to give herself something to do with her hands than because she was warm.
Laura heard the pop of a cork as Sam opened a bottle of red wine. Laura glanced over the back of the couch to see Sam pouring them each a generous glass. She made herself look away before she got caught staring.
“Here you go,” Sam said as she came back into the living room and handed Laura her glass.
“Thanks,” Laura said, biting the inside of her cheek as Sam’s fingers grazed hers.
Laura had surprised herself when she’d asked Sam if she had any plans for tonight. She knew she wanted to see Sam again, to spend some time with her, and when she’d spotted Sam at the hotel, just a few feet away, she’d found herself automatically walking towards her. She wanted more than a polite ‘Hello’ and drinks seemed like the best option. She didn’t think she’d end up here, at Sam’s place, though.
“I need to apologize for the other night,” Sam said as she brought her glass to her lips and took a sip. “I’m so sorry I interrupted your date. Your girlfriend probably thinks I’m a complete psycho.”
Laura took a drink while Sam spoke. There was no point playing games. That had been Jenny’s idea. “It’s okay,” Laura said. “I can imagine how shocked you were… Seeing me out on a date when you thought I was still married. She’s not my girlfriend by the way.”
“Oh?”
“No. She was just another disastrous date. I thought getting a divorce and coming out to my friends was supposed to be the hard part, but it’s actually trying to meet someone,” Laura said, silently cursing herself for saying that. She couldn’t even blame the alcohol. She’d only just started drinking.
“I know what you mean.”
Laura met Sam’s eyes. “What about you? You must have met someone on your travels?”
Sam shook her head. “No. I never stayed in one place for too long.”
Laura took another drink before leaving her glass on the wooden coffee table. She didn’t know what to say to that. Well, she did, but it was too soon to start confessing her feelings for Sam, the feelings that never went away after all th
ese years. “Do you mind if I use your bathroom?”
“Down the hall, last door on the right.”
“Thanks,” Laura said as she stood up, avoiding Sam’s eyes as she left the room. She took a deep breath as she closed the bathroom door behind her, leaning against it for a second. She had to get her shit together.
Being around Sam again wasn’t easy. Every time she looked at her, she couldn’t stop herself from remembering what they had. Over the years, she’d tried to pretend that it had been a fantasy, that it wouldn’t have worked even if she’d left Anthony before Sam disappeared.
Who knew? Maybe it wouldn’t have. Maybe Sam was too young back then. There was no way to know what would have happened if Laura had done things differently.
But that was in the past. What she did know was that she was even more attracted to Sam now, this time around, than she had been when Sam turned her world upside down eleven years ago, and she could swear that Sam felt it too. There was something about the way that Sam looked at her, a glint in her eyes.
Laura stood in front of the sink and met her own eyes in the mirror. She could do this, couldn’t she? She’d been on plenty of dates. This wouldn’t be the first time she’d made a move, but she knew this was different. She never really cared about what happened before with those other women. With Sam, she was desperate not to screw this up.
Laura ran a hand through her blonde hair, tousling it before she swept it over one shoulder. She could do this. She had to.
Laura had this fear that every time she saw Sam, it could be her last. She needed to make tonight count. They were having a relaxing evening with a glass of wine. It was perfect. She just needed to find a bit of confidence.
Laura took one last look at herself in the mirror before she left. She could do this. What did she have to lose really?
Chapter Thirteen
Sam brought the bottle of wine into the living room and topped up both of their glasses. It still felt strange to have Laura here, sitting beside her, chatting like this was completely normal, but it wasn’t normal. She put another log on the fire, the wood crackling as the flames rose up to meet it.
Sam got comfortable again and took a sip of wine. “So… you got a divorce.” It wasn’t a question, but Sam had been dying to ask her. How? When? Why? Why not when she was still here?
“Yes,” Laura said with a bit of a sigh. “It was a shock to everyone. Especially Anthony.”
“What made you do it?”
Laura met her gaze. “Then you mean? And not when you asked me to?”
Sam just nodded.
“I guess I was scared… I was afraid of what people would think of me. Not just for being gay but for ending my marriage. For being with someone so much younger than me. I just couldn’t do it.”
Sam swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m sorry if I added to that stress. I was really just thinking of myself back then. I wanted to be with you, and I wasn’t thinking about how hard that decision would have been.”
“It wasn’t the decision that was hard. I was crazy about you… I just couldn’t face the outside world. I wish I hadn’t cared so much about what other people thought of me.”
“Well, that’s easier said than done, and I was crazy about you too, for the record,” Sam said with a nervous smile. Laura must have known, but it felt good to say it out loud.
“I know,” Laura said softly. “And I wish I could go back and do things differently.”
“Me too.” Sam took a drink. This conversation was so surreal. She’d had it in her head before, wishing that Laura still cared, that she regretted the way things had happened.
“You wouldn’t have left?”
Sam met Laura’s eyes. Would she still have left? She had hated being Laura’s secret, but if she had known that she would leave him eventually, surely she would have waited.
“I don’t know,” Sam said, taking another sip. “But I would have told you if I was leaving.”
Laura nodded. “That week… That week was easily the worse week of my life. I thought you were just ignoring my calls,” she said with a sigh, looking down at her wine glass. “I caved when I saw your sister. I casually asked her how you were doing, and she told me that you were having a great time in Portugal and that you were going to Spain next. A one way ticket she’d said and something about not knowing when we’d ever see you again. I guess she assumed that I knew you were going, so she was almost joking about it,” Laura said, looking up to meet Sam’s eyes. “I never thought it would be ten years.”
Sam reached for Laura’s hand, covering it with her own. “I’m so sorry… I had no idea it would be that long.”
“Why did you come back?”
Sam met her gaze. “I just needed to come home.”
Laura’s eyes never left hers. “Why now though?”
Sam sighed. “I uh… Well, I nearly died,” she said as she withdrew her hand. “I didn’t evacuate when a typhoon hit the village I was living in, and I really thought that was going to be it so…”
“Sam,” Laura breathed, her eyes searching Sam’s.
“It happened a few weeks ago. I had a job to finish up, but I had to come back. I was so restless. I needed to see my family… See you.”
“Fucking hell,” Laura whispered, running her hand through her hair, her eyes glistening.
“I know I would have come back eventually, but something changed that day. It just woke me up, really. You know me. I’m not religious,” Sam said with a weak smile. “But that day I really wanted to be. I prayed to something anyway, just trying to make peace… A few hours later a rescue team arrived and got us out.”
“You must have been so scared.”
“I was. But then when reality set in, I don’t know. It wasn’t about fear. All I felt was regret, and it was a hell of a lot worse than being afraid.”
Sam watched Laura take her hand in hers, scooting a little closer to her so that she could hold Sam’s hand on her lap. Sam swallowed as Laura’s thumb tenderly caressed her hand before she interlaced their fingers.
Sam left her glass down, her heart beating a little faster now as she turned to face Laura, her shin resting against Laura’s thigh.
“What did you regret?” Laura asked, and Sam couldn’t miss the way her voice quivered.
“Not waiting for you,” Sam said without hesitation.
She leaned closer to Laura to brush a lock of hair behind her ear and away from her blue eyes, but Sam didn’t pull away, her fingers lingering on Laura’s neck. Her eyes flickered down to Laura’s lips.
Speaking of regrets… If she didn’t do this, she’d regret it in the morning. How many times had she dreamed of being in this position? Of being back in Laura’s life?
Sam inched closer, her hand cupping Laura’s neck as she parted her lips against Laura’s, her heart thudding in her ears.
Sam’s breath hitched as Laura kissed her back, her hand reaching up and threading through her hair, bringing her even closer.
Sam’s hand slid out of Laura’s as she deepened the kiss. A tingling sensation swept through Sam’s body as Laura’s tongue skimmed across her own, and Sam sighed into the kiss.
Time seemed to stand still as they lost themselves in the kiss. A warmth spread through Sam’s body, and she knew it had nothing to do with the fire that was roaring beside them. It had always been this way with Laura, right from that first, delicate kiss in the woods, that desire had been there.
Laura’s hand was at the nape of Sam’s neck now, keeping her close as she moaned into the kiss, and Sam didn’t know how they were going to put the brakes on tonight, but then again, why would they? They were two single adults who clearly both wanted this, but at the same time Sam was desperate not to screw up this second chance.
Laura’s lips left hers, her hand still in Sam’s hair, tilting her head back as Laura lips brushed against her neck. Sam bit down on her lower lip as her kisses trailed up to her ear lobe, her tongue flickering over it before Sam turned,
and their lips crashed together.
She pulled Laura on top of her as Laura shrugged off her blazer, letting it fall to the floor. She swung one leg over Sam’s lap, straddling her waist, her eyes ablaze with desire.
“I know we should probably be taking this slow,” Laura said, her lips finding Sam’s. “But…”
Sam smiled up at her, her hands on Laura’s hips. “I know, but it seems impossible to right now.”
“What if we didn’t? Take it slow, I mean.”
Sam ran her hand through Laura’s blond hair as she looked up at her. “We’ve been taking it slow for the last ten years,” she said, a smile tugging at her lips. “I think giving into this is okay.”
“Okay,” Laura whispered, her hands on Sam’s cheeks as she pulled her into a searing kiss, her tongue swirling with Sam’s.
Sam slipped one hand underneath Laura’s top, caressing her hip before sliding her hand up her back, her fingers lightly raking across her skin. Laura broke their kiss with a sigh as she arched her body into her. Sam tilted her head back, her lips finding that spot at the base of Laura’s neck that used to drive her wild.
A moan escaped Laura’s lips, her head thrown back as Sam stole a glance up at her. Sam wrapped her arms around her, hardly believing that this was real.
Laura’s lips were back on hers again, her tongue encircling her own, and Sam could feel the wetness pooling between her legs even though Laura had barely touched her. Having her on top of her, in her lap like this, was driving her crazy.
When things had got heated with them before, Sam had been too cautious, too shy, to do what she really wanted to with Laura. She was always afraid of taking it too far and having Laura back away, which always happened eventually.
That was another lifetime though, and tonight, Sam wasn’t holding back. She slid her hand out from underneath Laura’s top to cover her breast through her shirt. Laura moaned into the kiss, her hands on Sam’s shoulders as they continued to kiss. Laura smiled against her lips when Sam’s other hand groped her ass through her black pants.
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