“Then maybe you need to open your eyes and ears. Start watching and listening a little more carefully. I guarantee you’ll learn something, and it may just crush your theory about what Liv actually wants.”
I’d like to think Dad knows what he’s talking about, but he didn’t just see her take off like a rocket when I’d come close enough to taste those perfect pink lips. She didn’t give me an inch; instead, she bolted out of here. But I couldn’t help myself. I’d felt the spark zipping through me like I’d just stuck my finger into an electric socket, which, by the way, I’ve actually done.
Liv
I swallow hard, trying to get past the lump in my throat. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to spend time with another guy. I want the guy I can’t have. “Listen, I’m really tired, and I have an early workout, so I don’t really want to be out that late, okay?“
“Liv, you can’t be all cheer and no play this weekend. We’re celebrating, and we’re finally together for two whole days.” Elle pouts, jutting out her lower lip. She never seemed to grow out of it, and it always works to get her what she wants, so yeah, I guess I’d keep it in my arsenal, too, if I were her.
“I know.” I manage a smile. “You know I love you. I’m just distracted.”
Elle nods. “I know, and that’s why I wanted to do something to take your mind off of cheer.” She puts extra emphasis on the word, and I suspect she’s using it as code for what…or whom…she really thinks is causing me angst. I’ve never told her how I really feel about Hunter. I’ve never told anyone. But Elle knows me better than most, and I can tell she is on to me. That’s why I’m sitting at a table across from her tonight in this new coffee shop that I’ve never seen before but just fell in love with. I’m a caffeine fiend, and I love frothy hot drinks. It’s basically my only vice since I don’t really drink anything else other than water.
“I’m happy that we get to spend a little time together before all of the wedding craziness begins.”
“I wish it could be more. I’m headed back to Paris next week with Brandon, and you’re going off to ESPN cheer land, wherever that will be.”
“Phoenix,” I murmur, rolling out my ankle and breathing a small sigh of relief when there is no accompanying tinge of pain.
“Right. Then it’ll be the wedding, and then you’ll be all over the world competing. I’ll never see you!”
I cover her hand with mine and squeeze. “Stop. You know I’ll never be too far away. Besides, we already Skype all the time anyway. It’s how I was the first one to even see your dress, remember? I’ll always be here for you.”
“I love you so much.” Elle smiles, and her eyes water a bit. “I wish we could spend more time together, but I’m so glad for you. You deserve this, kid. You’re going to be an amazing addition to that team, and I hope ESPN knows how lucky they are to get you.”
“Well, we’ll see. There’s still the audition I need to crush.”
“And you will. And I’ll be right there rooting for you.”
“That means so much to me.” I feel tears form in the corners of my eyes. “Okay, this needs to stop now before we start bawling like babies. Those guys are going to come back with our coffees and not know what the heck happened.”
Elle giggles and sniffs, dabbing at the corners of her eyes with a paper napkin. “You’re right. We’d totally freak them out.”
I snicker. It must be a guy thing. Hunter always gets so flustered when I cry. You’d think he’d be used to it by now since I’m pretty emotional, but every time it happens, it’s like the first time. I squeeze my eyes shut. Argh! No more Hunter tonight!
“Two double shot café mochas, no whip, no foam.” Brandon places our drinks on the table with a flourish, and I flash a smile at Randy. He’s carrying two smaller mugs and slides into the chair next to me. Elle had been right. Randy is smart, hot, and fun with a smile that can probably melt off panties. But even that magical combination can’t compete with the what-ifs floating around in my head.
Enough! So what if Randy isn’t my soul mate? It doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun with him. I stir sugar into my coffee and glance at him out of the corner of my eye. Jesus, his smile practically lights up the entire dimly-lit café. He turns his head slightly toward mine, and I swear his teeth sparkle. He is pure physical perfection, so why the heck can’t I just be turned on by him? Why does it always have to be Hunter’s face smiling back at me?
“Tell me about life as an all-star cheerleader.”
I grin. “I spend a lot of time airborne.”
“That’s what I hear. You ever panic that someone’s going to drop you?”
“Never. I can’t allow myself to ever even think it. The tiniest seed of doubt can make a stunt crumble. I have to have complete confidence in the people who hold me in the air or else I’d hit the floor.”
“Wow.” He shakes his head. “I couldn’t do that.”
“A lot of people can’t. The whole team thinks like me. That’s why we’re the best.” I flash a toothy smile and blow on the hot coffee before taking one ginger sip.
“So you like being on top, huh?” His voice drops, and his eyes twinkle with an invitation I desperately want to accept and run from at the same time. God, I’m a mess.
A hot flush creeps up my neck. “I like being the best.”
“I’ve seen your videos. They’re pretty awesome.” He nods over toward Elle, who’s snuggled into the crook of Brandon’s arm. “Your sister’s really proud of you. She always makes us watch you on YouTube.”
“That’s really sweet,” I murmur, my chest tightening. I grit my teeth. I’m so close to the brink of an emotional breakdown right now, but I can’t fall over the edge. Not now. This is supposed to be a happy time. I need to put everything else on the back burner. This weekend is all about Elle and Brandon, not me and my issues. “She’s an amazing person, and she’s always been so supportive of me. I’m lucky to have her in my life.”
“She’s terrific. Brandon is crazy about her. I’ll admit, when he came home from Paris and told me he’d met the girl he’s going to marry, I was nervous for him. But then I met Elle and knew they were perfect for each other.” He shrugs and stirs his coffee. “I guess that’s the way things happen, huh? At times and places where you’d least expect them to?”
“I suppose. I was doubtful, too. Everything happened so fast, but I think if something feels right, you just go with it.” I nibble my lower lip. Is that what Hunter was doing earlier? Just going with it? Did I pull away because it didn’t feel right to me? Because my body sure didn’t approve of my decision to bolt out of his house. “Do you have any siblings?” That’s a pretty innocuous question, and right now, my goal is to play on the safe side. At least, for now.
“Two sisters, so having Brandon around was the only way to keep my sanity. I’ve really missed him.” Randy chuckled.
“I hear that. Girls aren’t easy, that’s for sure. I live with twenty of them on competition weekends, and there is no shortage of drama. Or chocolate.”
“Really? Lots of chocolate? I’d be a little afraid of hitting the Hershey’s too hard if people needed to toss me around in the air.”
I laugh. “I work hard to make sure it doesn’t interfere with my flying capabilities.”
“I can tell.” His gaze becomes decidedly more heated, and again, a hot flush warms my face.
I shift in my chair and pick up my mug. I’m afraid to acknowledge the innuendo in his comment, flattering as it is. He’s definitely interested, but I feel nothing. Not even a single tingle. How the heck is that even possible? The guy is gorgeous, engaging, fun, and did I say gorgeous? I have to try harder. Maybe the spark doesn’t ignite right away. “What do you do for work? You already graduated, right?”
“Yeah. I still live in Ohio. I work for a web design firm in Columbus, but I do a lot of traveling to different client sites.”
“That’s really cool. Do you travel any place fun?”
“I’ve
been to a lot of places in the United States, but we also have clients overseas, so I travel to Europe a lot. That’s how I first got to meet Elle, while they were in Paris.”
“I never got to visit. My competition schedule is pretty fierce, and I couldn’t escape for a weekend. I’ve always wanted to go to Paris and eat baguettes with cheese under the Eiffel Tower at night.” I clap a hand over my heart and let out an exaggerated sigh. “That would be pure bliss!”
“You’d love it. It’s the most beautiful city in the world.” He leans closer. “Maybe one day we’ll go together to visit Elle and Brandon after the wedding.”
I force a smile. “Maybe.” Hunter’s face floats in front of me again. Unfortunately, you’re not the one I want to go with, Randy.
The deeper meaning behind a lot of his comments doesn’t make me uncomfortable. But my reaction pisses me off immensely. Here’s a great guy who has made it very clear that he’s interested in me. Yet, all I can think about is my strawberry-and-now-wasp-averse best friend – how I want to be sitting with him under the Eiffel Tower, how I wish he was the one sitting here making all of these innuendoes, and how I’m afraid that if I get picked for ESPN and leave he’ll find someone else to take my place and then I’ll be out of the picture entirely.
I’ve always known in the back of my mind that our little bubble was bound to burst at one time or another; although, I never really allowed myself to think about what would happen when we went our separate ways. I fooled myself into thinking things could stay the same between us and that he’d just keep coming back to me for everything he was missing with those other girls.
But the reality is, girls don’t like it when their guys have girl best friends. And if he finds someone and - I gulp hard - falls in love, he’ll choose her, not me. He’s going to eventually fall in love. It always happens, even for the sworn eternal bachelors. They just need to find the right girls.
A little voice in the back of mind screeches from her perch. Why not me? Why hasn’t he fallen in love with me?
I drum my fingertips on the table, watching Randy and Brandon laugh about some inside best friend joke the way Hunter and I do. Lucky for Elle, Brandon’s cousin-slash-best friend doesn’t want to jump his bones and ride him like a cowgirl.
Elle turns toward me and gives me a wink while the guys are otherwise occupied. I can see the excitement on her face, and I’ll play along because I love her and because it is possible that my feelings may change in the next twenty-four hours. Unlikely, but still possible.
I point to my watch and mouth the time. It really is getting late, and I need to be at the gym by seven tomorrow morning. I never miss a workout, even when I’m home and need to start primping for a party hours and hours in advance to pacify my sister.
Randy twists around and grins at me. “So, tomorrow? I hope you’ll save me a dance or five.”
I return the smile. “My dance card is currently empty, so you’re in luck. I’ll pencil you in.”
He takes my hand and helps me out of the chair, which is such a gentlemanly move. But that darn spark is still evading me. “I had a lot of fun tonight,” I murmur.
His smile widens to reveal a dimple in his left cheek. Of course he has one. He’s already super-scrumptious, so why not just add the cherry on top? “I did, too. And I’m looking forward to spending more time with you tomorrow night.”
“It’s going to be a great time.” He helps me into my coat as Brandon goes to warm up his car for Elle, who can’t stand to get in while it’s still cold. And even though the temperatures have been higher than normal during the day, they plummet at night.
Randy walks us out and holds open the doors for Elle and me when Brandon pulls up in front of the café.
I try to pay attention to the conversation as Brandon’s rental car makes the short drive back to my house, but breathe a sigh of relief when he pulls up to the curb. A lot has happened tonight, and I need time to process it all. I give Randy a quick peck on the cheek. “It was great to meet you. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
Randy flashes an adorable grin and nods. “Can’t wait.”
I open the door and slide out of the backseat of Brandon’s car.
“I’ll be home later, okay Liv? Just let Mom and Dad know, so they don’t worry. I won’t be too late.” Elle grins and squeezes Brandon’s hand.
“Sure, I’ll tell them.” I raise my hand in a little wave and back away from the car, watching as it peels away from the curb. My shoulders sag, and I hug my arms around myself. I shiver from the persistent chill snaking its way through my insides. I turn toward my house and begin the walk toward the front door, replaying the events of the evening. My mind is a jumbled mess of images – Hunter cuddling with Chrissy, Hunter popping M&Ms, Hunter’s lips mere inches from mine. What the heck was that about? And why did I run away when having him close was all I’ve ever really wanted?
Thoughts zoom through my mind, and I can’t seem to catch any one of them. They take off and zip around my brain like race cars and grabbing a single one is near-impossible. I don’t know which end is up anymore. Maybe I’d imagined everything. Maybe my fantasies were so powerful in my psyche that I willed them to life. Or, and this is the more likely explanation, maybe I’m just freaking insane.
“Liv, sweetie!” Mom waves me over to the couch once I walk into the house. “How’s Hunter feeling?”
“I think he tried to kiss me,” I blurt out. I gasp and slap a hand over my mouth. Two seconds ago, I couldn’t think straight, and this is what has to come out?
Mom’s eyes widen to the point where I’m afraid they may just pop out of her head. “Are you sure?”
My jaw drops. “Um, well, I don’t exactly know for sure, but ah, well, it kind of seemed like he was.”
Mom pats the couch cushion next to her. “Come here, sweetie. You said he tried to kiss you. What happened? Did you stop him?”
I nibble on a stray cuticle. “Not exactly. I, um, kind of…left.”
“You walked out on him?” I could tell she was trying to mask the stricken look on her face, but it was a half-hearted attempt at best.
“It wasn’t like that. He was coming toward me with this look…” A chill weaves its way around my heart and squeezes. I shudder. “I freaked out and left.”
“Did he come after you? He just let you go?”
“He came after me, asked me about the party to see if I needed a ride. It was weird. I’d never seen him like that. He seemed…I don’t know, almost desperate to talk to me.” I shake my head. “I was afraid to stay because of what might happen next.”
“What did you think might happen, Liv?” Mom scoots closer to me on the couch and strokes my hair like she always did when I was growing up and facing some crisis. It always soothed me, but tonight, I’m too confused and scared about what comes next. Jeez, what kind of medication did they give him at the hospital?
“If he really was going to kiss me, it would be the beginning of the end of us.”
A small smile tugs at her lips. “What makes you so sure about that?”
I look at my mother. “Okay, let’s assume I didn’t just make all this up in my head. What if he really was going to kiss me? I know him, Mom. Once he makes a move on a girl, she’s finished. He can’t commit. He loves the thrill of the chase. Once he gets what he wants, he’s on to the next challenge.” I snort. “Except they’re usually ready and willing. Begging is probably more like it.”
Mom snickers. “Maybe his near-death experience gave him some new perspective on life.”
I giggle. “Maybe. I don’t know. I just panicked and thankfully, it was right when Elle texted me that she and Brandon were on their way to get me. I’m so glad they picked me up; otherwise, it would have been hella awkward for Hunter to drive me home.”
“Tell me something.” Mom folds her arms and sits back against the couch. “Did you want him to kiss you, Liv?”
Hunter
After that impromptu talk with my dad, I toss
and turn for hours, thinking about everything he said. Sleep never comes. Instead, my mind is assaulted by disturbing images of some guy draped all over Liv, courtesy of Facebook. I’m uninstalling that app first thing in the morning. It’s just six a.m. when I finally look at my alarm clock. Liv will be heading to the gym in town by seven. It’s her daily ritual, and she never misses a workout.
I grab the sides of my head and let out a low groan. I throw on a pair of basketball shorts and head into the bathroom. I peer into the mirror and roll my eyes at my reflection. I look like a guy who hasn’t slept in two days; basically, like crap. I brush my teeth and put on deodorant before pulling on a t-shirt. It’s vintage Foo Fighters, Liv’s favorite band. They’re old school, but she’s obsessed with their music. A smile tugs at my lips as I try to smooth out the wrinkles. Maybe it’s a sign.
Or maybe I’m just a pansy for even thinking that.
I grab my keys and wallet, slide my feet into a pair of sneakers, and tiptoe down the hall. The last thing I want to do is wake Chrissy. I’d never understood the whole letting sleeping babies lie thing until my sister decided to wreak havoc on my house months ago. She’s cute as heck, but if she’s woken up by so much as a flushing toilet on the other side of the house, watch out. I walk through the kitchen and out the front door into the crisp morning air.
I make a quick pit stop at the deli on the way to her house. Egg whites on whole wheat toast with salt and pepper. It’s Liv’s go-to breakfast. She eats one every day before hitting the gym. I only hope I’ll get to her house before she makes one for herself. Once I have the brown bag in hand, I jump back into my car and drive the couple of remaining blocks. Six forty-seven. Perfect.
I grab the bag, slam my car door, and race up her front steps, taking them two at a time. I swallow hard, an odd sensation settling into my gut. Am I nervous to see her? Afraid that she’ll confront me about my stupid move from last night? Panicked to hear about her little coffee date, even though I saw enough proof that I have some serious competition? Afraid to find out what this new guy might mean for us?
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