Always You, Always Us

by Savannah Carey

  “Thanks for understanding.” She stops fiddling with the zipper and flexes her foot. She’s been doing that a lot lately, and I see the Ace bandage peeking out of her sock.

  “How’s the foot?” I nod toward it as I make a left turn down her street.

  “Pretty good. I’m just trying to be careful, you know?”

  “I know. You don’t take risks.” I pull up to the curb outside her house and put the car into park.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” She crosses her arms and stares at me, eyebrows furrowed.

  I take in a sharp breath and try to remember what I even said. I feel like a zombie right now, completely void of any consciousness. “Um, about your foot…?” We were talking about that, right?

  “Risks, Hunter. How I don’t take risks. What did you mean by that?”

  Did I say that? I scrub a hand down my face, trying to pick my words very carefully. “Livvie, don’t get all bent out of shape. You always listen to your body so you don’t injure yourself. That’s all I was saying. Relax.”

  She narrows her eyes. “It sounded like you meant something else.”

  “I didn’t. Look, this is crazy. It was an observation. I didn’t mean anything by it. Why are you jumping down my throat like this again?” My pulse throbs against my neck and the way her nostrils flare makes me want to fist her hair and devour her mouth; the one that’s currently curled into a grimace directed at me.

  Her mouth opens then closes just as quickly. Whatever she was going to say, she chose to keep on lock-down. She shakes her head and grabs the door handle. “Sorry, I guess I read too much into it. I’ve got to go. Hair appointment.”

  I nod, unsure about what to say next.

  “I’ll see you later?”

  “Okay.” That seems like a safe enough response.

  She averts her eyes and pushes open the door. The ache in my chest slices deeper and deeper with every step she takes toward her house and away from me.

  I finally get how much it sucks to be on the receiving end of rejection.

  And now, I need some chocolate.

  Liv

  I jump out of my chair with a loud yelp as the searing hot flat iron grazes my ear. The hairdresser, I think her name is Taylor, bites her lower lip. “I’m so sorry,” she says. “But don’t worry, it’ll totally be worth it when I’m finished!”

  Sure, and the curls will totally cover the first-degree burns now covering my ears. I want to roll my eyes, but she still has the curling iron. I feel outnumbered, so I manage a tight smile and keep my mouth shut. But under the cape draped over my clothes, I’m flipping her off with both hands.

  “Oh my God!” Elle exclaims as she runs over to my chair. “You look gorgeous! Wait until Hu…Randy sees you tonight!”

  I cock an eyebrow at her in the mirror, but she’s busy picking a non-existent piece of lint off her sweater while she yaps to Taylor about the party. She started to say Hunter. I definitely didn’t miss that. But why?

  I’ve already done plenty of damage to our relationship in less than twenty-four hours, so there’s nowhere to go but forward. I knew this would eventually happen, except he’d be the one to pick a girl, and I’d be the one left behind. I’m just being proactive here by choosing Ricky. I swallow a groan. Randy.

  The hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention, and a chill slithers down my back. The air vents above me are closed, but it’s not the temperature icing my insides. It’s a result of the lies I’m trying to feed myself. My body knows I’m trying to play a Jedi mind trick on it right now, and it’s not happy, not the way it was when Hunter had been pressed against me not too long ago. If I’d just rolled onto my back, his lips would have been so close to mine, like they were last night when I backed away from him like a flipping idiot. I could have gotten a second chance, gross gym floor or not. But I freaked out, which, in my defense, is probably a pretty normal response when your best friend’s morning wood pushes into your back. There was no way to misinterpret that, and even though it filled me with elation, that emotion was quickly replaced by fear - the fear of falling even harder for him, the fear of being alone if we imploded, and the crippling fear of the unknown.

  Taylor winds another lock of hair around her flat iron and I cringe, gripping the sides of the chair as it slides down the side of my face. I’d sure like to not have any facial scarring as a remembrance of this appointment.

  I close my eyes, trying to focus on anything but the smell of burning hair. I take a deep breath, careful not to move. Suddenly, I’m on my knees again at the gym, the scent of Hunter’s cologne mixed with his favorite mouthwash teasing my nostrils as he lowers his body onto mine, the warmth of his breath against my neck sending tingles everywhere.

  My fingers tighten around the arms of the chair. Why am I running from this? Why am I not giving in to what I want more than anything in the world?

  I gasp, and Taylor jumps. “What is it? I didn’t even touch you yet!”

  I shake my head and whisper, “It’s not you.” Holy crap. I want Hunter more than anything. He’s more important than anything. I’d give up that spot on the ESPN team in a heartbeat for him.

  And I finally realize why I keep running.

  I’ve already given up so much for cheer. It’s my life. I don’t have a backup plan. If I give in to my feelings for Hunter and forget about ESPN, I would be risking everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve. Because Hunter doesn’t do relationships. He likes temporary. And when he does walk away, like he always does when things get a little too real, I’ll be left with nothing. Alone. And broken beyond repair.

  I can’t let that happen. I refuse to be that girl. I have my life planned, and I can’t compromise my goals for something that may not even be a possibility. I mean, I could have made all of this up in my head; maybe it was his arm or leg pressed against me, maybe he wasn’t trying to kiss me last night, maybe he was just leaning in to blow a cookie crumb off my face or something.

  Or maybe it’s exactly what I thought…exactly what I want to believe.

  I close my eyes as Taylor combs her fingers through my curled hair and empties a can of hair spray on it. “Okay, finished! It looks perfect!” she announces, twirling my chair around.

  The reflection in the mirror looks so foreign to me. My hair falls around my face in soft glossy waves, completely hiding my bright red ears. Thankfully. Natural golden highlights glimmer under the overhead lights. I wonder what Hunter will think when he sees me tonight. I bite my lower lip. Tinges of pink appear in each of my cheeks, and I cup my face to keep the flush from coloring them any deeper. I saw the look on his face when I walked into his house with my hair down last night, but this…this is something else. I look glamorous. I never look glamorous.

  “…and when you put on the dress Mom got for you, holy crow! You’re going to look like a freaking goddess!”

  Has Elle been talking to me the whole time?

  A tiny smile plays around my lips, and butterflies swarm my belly. I can try to convince myself that obsessing like this has me flying down a road to nowhere, but my heart doesn’t really care. It stopped paying attention to what my mind has been preaching a long time ago. All of my brilliant realizations mean nothing because I’m in love with my best friend.

  “Liv! You look absolutely beautiful!”

  I spin around in the chair, the smile still plastered across my mouth. “Hey, Mrs. McKinnon! Thank you so much!” I flip one of the waves over my shoulder and chuckle. “I know, it’s so different than my normal ‘do.”

  “It’s perfect.” She flashes a warm smile at me and grazes one of the soft waves with her fingers. “You look like a movie star.”

  “Doesn’t she?”

  Elle turns away from Taylor and gives Cindy a big hug. “It’s so great to see you, Mrs. McKinnon! How long has it been?”

  “Too long, sweetie. And you look wonderful. Now let me see the ring I’ve been hearing so much about.” Cindy gasps when Elle holds out her hand. “
It’s absolutely beautiful! Wear it in good health, Elle.”

  “Thank you!” Elle’s smile wanes. “I’m so bummed you and Mr. McKinnon can’t make it to the party, but I understand. I’m sad I didn’t get to see the munchkins this weekend, but maybe I can bring Brandon over so you can both meet him before we leave next week?”

  “That would be lovely.” Cindy gives Elle a quick hug and then pulls me in for one. I breathe in the soft scent of flowers tinged with chocolate, and the butterflies take flight once again. It’s a weird connection, but it makes me feel closer to Hunter, knowing he’s probably shoveling in a heaping serving of the cake Cindy has most likely just baked. “Have a great time tonight, sweetie,” she murmurs to me. “Whoever gets to spin you around on the dance floor tonight should consider himself a very lucky guy. He may not realize it yet, but he will when he sees you.”

  I swallow hard and nod my head. “Thank you,” I whisper. A quick flashback of my conversation with the nurse at the hospital adds a lot of sense to her words. He may not realize it yet. Oh Lord, she definitely overheard everything.

  I flip my hair over my shoulders. It settles around my face, highlighting the bursts of deep pink exploding into my cheeks. I stare at my reflection in the mirror, grinning at the girl who has just decided, after all this time, to stop running.

  I nod, my reflection confirming my own plan for tonight. There’s a lot at risk, yes, but so much more to be gained if Hunter feels the same way. Warmth floods my insides as I recall the smoldering gaze in his eyes right before he tried to kiss me last night. He stopped himself then, but I won’t let him do it again, not before I have a chance to taste those chocolate-flavored lips. I zip my jacket, hugging my arms around myself.

  Maybe my decision is going to backfire. Maybe it’ll turn out to be the best one I’ve ever made in my life. Either way, I’ll find out soon enough.

  Hunter

  I tighten the knot on my tie and narrow my eyes at my reflection. Why is it that every time I come close to showing Liv how I really feel about her, she bugs out and bolts?

  Hmm, maybe because you think you’re showing her, but all she sees is some crazed sex addict who hasn’t gotten a fix in a couple of days coming on to her.

  I roll my eyes. Okay, fine, so maybe I should have used words instead.

  “Hunter! Are you almost ready?” Cindy knocks at the door.

  “Yeah, I’m just fixing my tie.” I glance down at my phone. “My Uber should be here in a minute.”

  I pull open the door and her eyes light up. She gasps, hugging Chrissy tightly. “You look so handsome, sweetie!”

  “Thanks.” I lean down to give them both quick pecks on their cheeks, and we walk down the hallway together. Chrissy coos at me, and I tickle the spot under her chin that always makes her giggle. She holds out her arms, but I shake my head. “Sorry, beautiful, not right now. I promise you can climb all over me tomorrow, but I can’t risk you drooling all over me.”

  Chrissy babbles back, like she knows what I’m saying. Then, my night gets a little brighter when she flashes me one of her toothless grins.

  “Hunter! Wait, don’t leave yet! Selfie!” Allie runs toward me with her iPad and pulls me down next to her so we can take a funny-face selfie together. I ruffle her soft curly hair and kiss her on top of her head. “Sweet dreams, Allie. We have a whole day together tomorrow, okay? Get ready to play hard!”

  “Yay!” She jumps up and down, and I straighten up when my dad comes into the room. He winks at me, and I nod back. I know they’re both on Team Liv, but that doesn’t mean the actual team captain wants me on her squad.

  “I saw Liv at the salon earlier,” Cindy says, a smile playing at her lips. “Wait until you see her.”

  I can feel the lump form in my throat when Liv’s name is spoken. I’m sure all I’ll be doing is looking. And obsessing. Unfortunately for me, the best man will be doing everything else. I clench my fists. Oh, no. I don’t even want to think about that.

  Ping! My iPhone alerts me from the depths of my jacket pocket that my Uber is outside waiting. It’s go time. Literally.

  I force a return smile and bend to give Allie a quick hug. “Be a good girl tonight, okay? If I get a great report in the morning, we’ll go to Pop’s for a treat.”

  “Yay, Pop’s!” Allie claps her hands and giggles. “I’ll be so good tonight! Promise!”

  I give a half-wave to Dad and Cindy and grab my keys from the front hall table.

  “Have fun,” Dad says, draping an arm around Cindy’s shoulder.

  “Thanks.” I pull open the door and glance at the hopeful looks on their faces. It’s nice that they’re in my corner, but I think I’m about to get squeezed out of this match. Maybe I already have been. And maybe I did it to myself. Either way, I need to fix this. I can’t lose Liv, and I’ll take her any way I can get her. I’ve had to deal with plenty of her boyfriends in the past, so nothing new there.

  No, the only new thing is the wedge I’ve driven between us. I get it now. She’s not into me. It stings, yeah, but I’m not willing to let her throw away what we have because I put myself out there a couple of times too many. One of the times wasn’t even my idea. I mean, it really was her fault for asking me to climb on top of her like that.

  I replay the gym scene in my mind over the next twenty minutes until the driver pulls up in front of the Swann Hill Country Club. I slide out of the car after thanking the driver and stand in front of the entrance. The dark wood mahogany door beckons, and I have no choice but to go inside. I’d hoped tonight would’ve gone a lot differently, but knowing Liv is here gives me a flicker of hope that I can salvage things between us.

  The doorman smiles at me and pulls open the door. “Are you here for the party, sir?”

  “Yes.”

  He points down the dimly lit main hallway. “Cocktails are being served in the Manchester Room on the left.”

  “Great, thanks.” I take a deep breath and follow the slew of people who already seem to know where the Manchester Room is. I recognize a few people from the many parties I’ve been to with Liv’s family over the years, but I’m not in the mood for small talk tonight. No, there’s only one person I need to—

  “Hunter! Oh my God, it is you! I didn’t know you’d be here tonight!”

  The shrill voice makes my spine stiffen. I know who it belongs to, but I’m not sure I want to acknowledge the owner. Unfortunately, I’m not given much of a choice because she throws her arms around me before I can pretend that I didn’t hear her.

  I manage to detangle myself from her arms after she’s squeezed the crap out of me. “Hey, Kacie. How are you?”

  “Better now!” She grins and holds up a near-empty champagne flute as we walk toward the Manchester Room. “I’m so happy to see you. Elle didn’t give me the scoop on the guest list, but I just love surprises.” With a wink, she slides in closer and puffs out her chest. I glance around, but nobody is watching. Yet. If Kacie is left to her own devices, I know exactly how quickly that can change.

  “Yeah, it’s good seeing you, too. What have you been up to?” I don’t really care to hear her answer, but I don’t want to be a complete jerk either. Kacie rattles on about some job while I search the space for Liv. Darn chandeliers. They give off just enough light to make it nearly impossible to see anything. I squint, scouring the room for a tall, knockout blonde until I find her. And, at that moment, I really wish I hadn’t.

  My breath hitches, my eyes focused on the girl – woman - whose body is draped in a red knee-length dress that makes her toned legs look like they go on for years. Long, blonde waves swing around her shoulders, which are shaking with her high-pitched laughter. But it’s not me who’s making her laugh; it’s someone else.

  My gut clenches, my fingers twitching at my sides. The blood coursing through my veins morphs into ice, and I’m frozen to the spot, watching, waiting, praying I don’t look like some crazy stalker. Kacie is still babbling, still drinking, still completely oblivious to the f
act that I’m unable to force my eyes away from another woman. It didn’t stop me from taking a crack at Kacie a few months ago when we were all home for the holidays, and I made the very bad decision to test out my feelings for Liv under the influence of a lot of Jack Daniels.

  I used my business as an excuse for not wanting to get involved in a relationship back then, but it didn’t deter Kacie from tracking me down every chance she got. I’d managed to elude her over the past few months, but tonight, she has me cornered.

  I’m going to need a few drinks for this. And fast.

  A waitress walks past with a tray of highball glasses and I grab one, not caring what is even in it. I gulp it down, the amber liquid searing a path down my throat. Liv chooses that moment to do a half-twist toward the entrance of the room. Her lips, colored bright red to match her dress, curl into a bright smile. Warmth floods my body, but it’s gonna take a lot more to melt the icicles lancing my heart when I realize the smile isn’t intended for me, but for the guy striding past me with two champagne glasses in his hands. I recognize him immediately from those stupid Facebook pictures Elle posted.

  Kacie grabs my hand and places it on her hip. “Do you want to get another drink?” she murmurs against my ear.

  Oh, yeah, I do. Anything to get away from this spot.

  Liv’s smile, which a minute ago had been vivid enough to illuminate the room, has now disappeared from her face. Her eyes narrow, her lips stretched into a tight line. I think I even catch a nostril flare. Jesus, only one drink in and I’m already not following the path of rage that appears to be brewing. She’s with another guy, so why is she so clearly pissed off at me? Liv’s gaze shifts to Kacie, and all I have to say is it’s a good thing Liv never got the whole necrokinesis thing down pat because if she had, Kacie would be six feet under right now. Kacie’s hand creeps under my jacket, sliding around my waist, and I can actually feel the fire spewing from Liv’s eyes at this point. Then a tall figure goes and blocks her view. Thank God. I need some time to process all of this. A waitress passes with a full tray of glasses and I grab two this time, knocking them back one after another.