The Cuckoo is a Pretty Bird

by L M Krier

  Because he was being arrested for the firearms offence they would take his fingerprints and DNA, although there was a strong chance they wouldn’t find him on record. If the Big Man was new to the area, it was likely his men were, too, and possibly even from abroad.

  There was not a lot of space in the interview room so Ted asked for one of the AFOs to stand inside, with clear line of sight to the suspect the whole time and the other to stand in the open doorway. He didn’t want to take any chances at all.

  ‘I’m DCI Darling, this is DC Ellis. Do you speak English?’

  No response.

  Steve was working alphabetically through the possible languages. He found the translations on his tablet, starting with Albanian, and playing the audio.

  ‘A flisni anglisht?’

  The man did no more than lift an eyebrow and smile.

  ‘Govoriš li engleski?’ produced much the same reaction.

  They could be in for a long and frustrating session, but there was no way Ted could charge him until he was convinced the man understood what was being said to him. He needed to offer him a solicitor and, if necessary, provide a translator.

  The man let Steve work his way through most of the countries of southern and eastern Europe. When he got to Slovenia, he said, ‘Yes, I speak English. No, I want no solicitor. No, I make no comment.’

  ‘Can you please confirm for me that you understand the reason for your arrest? And that you understand you are going to be charged with possession of a firearm with intent to endanger life?’

  Ted cautioned him again to have it on the recording, then asked the man his name.

  ‘I understand the charge. I make no comments,’ was all he could get out of him.

  Jim Baker had come in for this one and was watching over the monitors. Ted took a short break to check with him that he was happy on procedure. He hoped the two AFOs really had taken on board his warning about the man and the danger he presented.

  ‘No ID on him?’ Jim asked, as soon as Ted walked into the room.

  ‘None, but I didn’t really expect there to be. His sort often don’t carry anything which might identify them.’

  ‘With any luck he’ll be an illegal and we can just hand him over to the Home Office lot to send home. Will he talk, if you press him?’

  ‘Not a hope in hell, I would say. You’ve seen him, Jim. He’s a pro. He knows he risks nothing worse than being sent back to his own country, which probably suits him. I’ll try, if you like, but I don’t see any reason why he would tell us anything. We’ve nothing to bargain with.’

  ‘I agree. We need to get him remanded in custody as soon as possible. And keep the armed guard on him until we can hand him over.’

  ‘I’m going for a drink with the team, once all the paperwork is sorted. Are you up for that?’

  Jim shook his head. ‘I daren’t, Ted. Bella will go off the deep end if I’m not straight back. Who knew a wedding took so much planning, eh? And speaking of that, would your Trevor be free on Monday after work, by any chance? To practise this bloody dance? Only it’s the hotel’s quiet day, so they could let us in. And Bella’s going to her sister’s to talk clothes, or flowers, or goodness knows what she still has left to fuss over.

  ‘She still doesn’t know what I’ve got planned and I want to keep it that way. To make it a real surprise for her.’

  ‘I’m not sure,’ Ted replied. Jim was his friend, but he wasn’t about to tell him the current situation between him and Trev. ‘He’s working all hours at the bike shop at the moment. His business partner’s in hospital for an operation.’

  ‘Serious?’

  ‘We’re not sure. Neither of us dares ask in case it’s anything intimate or embarrassing. But I’ll find out and one of us will let you know.’

  Ted had asked Susan and Laurie to join them for drinks. He felt he owed them both one for their work, which had undoubtedly stopped him either being attacked by around thirty kilos of snarling dog, or getting himself shot. Kevin Turner was there too. Once Ted had sorted the drinks, he went and sat with him at a quiet table while the team let their hair down.

  ‘Good result today, Ted. But here’s to food poisoning, eh?’ Kevin said as he raised his glass. ‘You heard, I take it? I’m off the hook where the cruise is concerned. Stories of people puking up all over everywhere put the wife right off the idea.’

  ‘Are you sure you didn’t arrange it?’ Ted asked him with a grin. ‘So where are you going instead?’

  Kevin made a face. ‘Still abroad. Some place in Minorca that she’s found. It looks quiet enough, though. I should be able to cope.’

  Ted’s mobile phone was ringing. He reached for it, hoping it might be Trev. The screen showed him it was his mother, Annie.

  ‘I better take this, Kev,’ he excused himself and went to find a corner away from the noise.

  ‘Helo, Teddy bach, it’s your mam. I hope I’m not disturbing you?’

  ‘Helo, mam,’ Ted tried to pronounce it the Welsh way as she had, to please her. ‘I’m in the pub, just having a drink with the team.’

  ‘Oh, sorry, bach. I just wanted to make sure you were all right.’

  ‘You’ve spoken to Trev, then?’

  ‘You know he phones me almost every day. He said you’d had a bit of a falling out but nothing more. I hope it’s not serious?’

  ‘We’ll get through it,’ Ted tried to sound confident. He didn’t want his mother to be worrying. ‘Look, mam, I have to go. I’ll try and get down to see you, as soon as I can get a bit of time off. We both will,’ he added hastily, in case it made it sound as if the rift was likely to be long-term.

  ‘I’ll look forward to that, bach. Nos da, Teddy.’

  ‘Nos da, mam.’

  Somehow, talking to his mother made him want to go home. Even if he knew there was no guarantee that Trev would be there. The team were all fine. Kevin was now deep in conversation with Jo and wouldn’t miss him.

  Ted went to put money behind the bar for drinks and asked Dave, the landlord, if there was any chance of a hotpot to take out. He didn’t feel like cooking and he knew he should eat something.

  ‘You’ll get me into trouble, officer. I’m not supposed to be a takeaway. But I can help out a good customer now and again, so it’s on the house. Just bring the dish back at some point.’

  The house was in darkness and unwelcoming when he got home. Once again the cats had all been seen to, so Trev must have been in at some point during the day.

  Ted would have a good few hours of paperwork the following day. They were going to have some good results, with charges against four of the cuckoos, and now a possible member of the drugs gang in custody.

  But then it was Sunday. And come what may, no matter how many Albanian drug barons popped out of the woodwork, he was going to hand over all responsibility to Jo and sort his home life out.

  Chapter Thirty

  Sunday morning. Ted was on a stakeout.

  Alone. Sitting in his own car. Munching his way through a hot bacon barm, sipping tea from his travel mug.

  He’d been there since first thing, so far with no sign of his target.

  Trev never usually went to work on a Sunday, but with Geoff away, he had said he would be in to sort the books out. And if there was one thing Ted was good at, it was paperwork and organisation. If he could persuade Trev to let him help for the day, it might go some way to showing that he was at least trying to be as much of a husband as a police officer.

  He still hadn’t heard anything from him. He’d left a few messages, trying not to overdo it. He’d phoned Trev’s friend Mark, from the karate club, guessing that’s where he would be staying. Mark hadn’t answered. He’d tried phoning the bike shop the previous day, to be told by Neville that Trev was with a customer and couldn’t currently be disturbed.

  In desperation, he’d phoned their mutual friend Willow, with a pang of guilt when he realised he had no idea how far on in her pregnancy she was now, so didn’t know if his call wo
uld be intrusive.

  ‘Ted! How lovely to hear from you.’ Her tone, at least, was warm and welcoming.

  ‘I’m sorry to bother you, Willow, I just wondered if by any chance you’d seen Trev recently? Or if he might possibly be staying with you?’

  ‘Oh no, have you two had a falling out? I’m sorry. But no, sweetie, he’s not at ours. Not unless he’s broken in, that is. Rupe and I are currently in the south of France on a shoot.’

  ‘I’m sorry to have called you, then. I didn’t realise you were still working.’

  ‘Good heavens, yes, there’s an obscene amount of work for glamour maternity wear. So I’m getting paid oodles of money to lie about on a beach, looking serene and blooming. It’s rather marvellous. I hope you track him down soon. I don’t like to think of you two being at odds. And if he happens to call me, which he does from time to time, I’ll tell him to phone you, at least.’

  It was gone ten before Trev turned his bike onto the forecourt of the dealership and switched it off. As he was removing his helmet, Ted crossed the road and held out a paper bag from the bakery.

  ‘Peace offering. Almond croissants. Your favourite. I remembered you were coming in to do the books, so I thought I might be able to help. I’ve booked the day off. Strictly Do Not Disturb.’

  Trev’s face remained stony at his words so Ted asked anxiously, ‘If that would be any help?’

  Ever-present good manners got the better of Trev as he said, ‘Thank you. It’s a kind offer, which I won’t refuse.’

  He unlocked the front door, stood aside for Ted to go in first, then turned off the alarm before locking up securely once more. The showroom contained thousands of pounds worth of stock in the shape of bikes and expensive accessories. They’d been lucky so far in never having had a break-in.

  Everywhere was spotless and orderly, laid out for maximum sales potential and pulling power.

  Not risking saying too much too soon, Ted followed his partner in silence through the sales area and along a corridor to the office, which was usually Geoff’s domain. Trev’s speciality was front of house. Out there charming the customers into parting with their cash. Or going out to drum up service contracts and replacement bike sales.

  Ted was used to a certain amount of chaos, living with Trev. His partner always laughed off Ted’s attempts to domesticate him and blamed it all on his privileged upbringing, with staff to clear up behind him.

  Even so, Ted was shocked by the state of the office. Papers were strewn all over the desk and had overflowed into heaps on the floor. There were several dirty mugs, some with cold, untouched tea in them, dotted about. Some had left tell-tale rings on the papers on which they sat.

  Trev saw his look and said, with a note of guilt, ‘I know it looks a bit chaotic, but I didn’t get as much office time as I’d hoped for, which is why I came in today. I did get us some new contracts, though, which Geoff will be pleased about.’

  ‘It’s fine,’ Ted said, with more optimism than he felt. He didn’t dare ask if Trev had been seeing any of the potential clients in the office. He hoped he’d always gone to them. ‘It won’t take long to get on top of this. Why don’t I make a start in here? Are you going to do a stock-take?’

  Trev frowned. ‘I wasn’t going to. It’s not long since we did the last one. Do you think I should?’

  Ted had taken off his leather jacket and hung it on the back of the door. He began by gathering up the mugs and heading towards the small kitchen to do the washing up.

  ‘It might be a good idea. It would help with getting the books straight. Why don’t you start on that, since you know what you’re doing on that score? I’ll get some sort of a system going in here. I’ll give you a shout if there’s anything I can’t fathom out.’

  It took Ted some time to sort things into some sort of logical order so he could work on them. Once he’d done that, he was starting to make some degree of progress when Trev came back into the office, looking concerned.

  ‘Have you got anything on the sales sheets for a set of leathers? An expensive one? Around fifteen hundred. Only I can’t find it and I’m sure Nev or one of the others would have told me if they’d sold it, because that would be a good sale.’

  Ted looked through the paperwork, now neatly sorted and in separate piles on the desk.

  ‘Nothing here that I can see so far. Do you have some sort of a system in place, other than the till, to note what’s sold? Or a way to sign out spare parts from stock so they get onto the right invoice? I don’t know much about the spares side of things, but it does look from a first glance that quite a few have been used this past couple of weeks.

  ‘You’re sure the leathers haven’t simply been tidied away somewhere? It sounds daft but could someone have put them out on display and because it’s so obvious, you’ve not noticed?’

  Trev shook his head. ‘I’ve looked in all the likely and unlikely places. Ted, it’s all getting a bit worrying now. What if I’ve had my eye so far off the ball that someone’s nicked them?’

  ‘They have security tags on, presumably?’

  ‘Yes, of course. But there are tags there, in the shop which could have come off them. The leathers aren’t there.’

  ‘So if they have been taken, it’s not an outside job, I’m presuming. It would have to be one of the staff, surely?’

  After all his determination to be a husband rather than a police officer for the day, Ted found himself in familiar work mode once more.

  Trev sat down opposite him.

  ‘That makes it even worse. If one of the lads has taken them, that means they know I’m so useless at the management side of things that they’re prepared to take the piss by stealing right under my nose. Not quite the situation I hoped to create for Geoff when he gets back.’

  He looked and sounded miserable now. Ted put down his pen and looked at him.

  ‘Perhaps we can fix it, before he gets back. If it was someone who works here, who would you suspect, if you had to put your money somewhere?’

  ‘Neville,’ Trev said, without hesitation. ‘Don’t get me wrong. He’s a nice bloke. Very loyal. Good, too. He can fix any bike. If he can’t, it can’t be fixed. He’s taught me so much. He’s been with Geoff for years. But he doesn’t earn a huge amount. And he has a son. Keir. Nearly twenty now, I think. He’s into bikes in a big way, but he doesn’t earn much, either. We help out, with spares at cost price. But it’s probably not enough.’

  ‘So an expensive pair of good leathers, plus the odd spare part as needed, might possibly be a temptation too far?’ Ted asked, standing up and getting his jacket. ‘Right, come on, there’s only one way to find out.’

  ‘We’re going round there? Ted, if you arrest him, think what that’s going to do to the business. And what Geoff’s going to say about it all.’

  Ted smiled at him. ‘I’m not going to arrest him. I’m not a policeman today. I’m your husband. Helping you out and putting you first. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? Are you coming?’

  As soon as Neville opened the door to them, it was clear that Trev was the last person he expected to see on his doorstep on a Sunday morning. Especially in the company of Ted, who Nev knew full well was a police officer.

  ‘Hi, Nev,’ Trev greeted him. ‘Sorry to call unannounced on a Sunday morning. You remember Ted, of course. He’s been helping me with the books and paperwork this morning. I wondered if we could come in for a moment? There’s something you could perhaps help with.’

  Ted knew, straight away. He’d interviewed too many guilty – and innocent – people not to be able to spot the difference a mile off.

  Neville showed them into the front room but didn’t invite them to sit down. Ted noticed that his hand was shaking when he closed the door behind him. He’d never noticed a tremor when he’d met him previously.

  ‘I’ve been doing a bit of a stock-take this morning, while Ted went over the books. Only I can’t find that good set of leathers anywhere. The one Geoff said might take a
while to sell because they were a bit pricey. Perhaps they’ve been moved somewhere.’

  Neville’s eyes were darting from one to another of them, panic plain to see on his face. Then Ted spoke. Quietly, as ever.

  ‘I had a thought, though. I have that sort of a suspicious copper’s brain. I thought that perhaps, someone like yourself, Neville, with a young lad, into bikes – Keir, isn’t it? – might want to get him something really good. Like those leathers. Maybe for a birthday or something. So that person might just take them home for their son to try on. Just to see if he liked them. Then he could take them back to work straight away and ask about a trade discount. And easy payment stages.

  ‘Now if that person had forgotten to talk to anyone about the idea, or forgotten to put a note somewhere, saying that’s what they were doing, it could be open to misinterpretation.’

  Trev was staring at him in evident surprise. Neville was still looking from one to another, clearly wondering what on earth was going on. Ted carried on speaking in the same reasonable manner.

  ‘It’s quite likely that such a person wouldn’t know that for a charge of theft, the prosecution has to show intention to permanently deprive the owner of the goods in question. Which would make the difference between a bit of a telling off and a prison sentence of up to ten years. Although that wouldn’t be very likely for a first offence. But still. A big fine, and almost certainly being sacked from their work place.’

  Neville’s eyes had widened at the mere mention of a prison sentence.

  ‘Of course, on the one hand, removing an article’s security tags would tend to suggest theft. But then it would avoid the full-scale panic of setting the alarms off. And if the person had the intention of re-tagging them once they’d been tried on, say when they took them back to sort out a proper written agreement on payment terms ...’

  He left the sentence hanging and looked at Trev. ‘When are you expecting Geoff back?’

  ‘Wednesday, unless anything changes with his treatment plan or whatever.’