CANARY

by Tijan

  I nodded. “What do you need from me?”

  “Pack a small bag—bare necessities. We’ll leave it somewhere you can grab it if you need to run.”

  Run?

  Fuck.

  Run. Running was bad.

  I swallowed over a knot. “I didn’t get into this life to run.”

  “Whatever the reason, you need to live to do it.” His eyes went back over my shoulder. “Pack the bag,” he repeated as he stepped back.

  It didn’t take me long, and I used the plastic bag that went over the motel’s hair dryer. Cavers was still in the bathroom when I showed it to Raize. “Done.”

  His eyebrows pulled in. “There’s nothing in there.”

  “I don’t have anything to start with.”

  He gave me a look. “What do you have?”

  “Two pairs of underwear, one pair of socks, a sports bra, and two changes of clothes.”

  “Money?”

  “Whatever you give me.”

  He shook his head. “That’s it? You don’t have anything extra on you?”

  “You’re the only boss that’s paid me.”

  His eyes went flat at that, and he ran a hand over his face. “There’s nothing in here. There’s no point in even doing this bag.” He nodded to the bathroom door. “He comes out, you tell him I went to get food.”

  I glanced to the door, but felt Raize move up behind me.

  My shirt lifted.

  I stiffened, holding my breath.

  He pushed something cold and firm into the back of my pants and returned my shirt to its proper place. “You sit. If he moves at you, you shoot him. Got me?”

  Fuuck. My mouth was so dry, but I nodded. “Got it.”

  He was gone in the next second, and I was left with the shower running in Cavers’ bathroom and my heart pounding in my chest. It was deafening.

  I heard Cavers come out of the bathroom and walk through his room. He came to the doorway of my room with a wet head and new clothes on.

  He glanced around. “Where’d they go?”

  My mouth was so dry. I could feel the weight of that gun against my back. “Raize went to get food. Jake’s doing an errand.” I didn’t know if I was supposed to share that last bit, but lying came naturally to me—another skill I didn’t like, but needed for survival.

  Also, I didn’t even know if I was lying. Raize might’ve actually gone for food.

  He nodded, blinking. I noticed the deep bags under his eyes. “Good. I’m fucking tired and hungry. Mind if I close this so I can take a nap?”

  “Raize doesn’t want that closed.”

  He narrowed his eyes. I tensed, expecting a fight, but he only nodded again. “Okay. Ignore my snores then.”

  I nodded, but didn’t move—not even when I heard him collapse on the bed I couldn’t see. A minute or so later, when I heard his snores, some of my stiffness loosened. There’d be no fight, no sudden… I didn’t know what I was expecting. Still, I sat in the same position until forty minutes later when Raize came through the door.

  It opened soundlessly, and he paused, taking everything in.

  He didn’t speak. I didn’t speak. He came in, shut the door, still silent, and moved to glance into the other room.

  He had another two guns on him, both handguns. He also had food with him and he tossed the bag of food on the table in front of me. He put one of the guns on the dresser and disappeared into the other room for a bit. When he came back, he had all the bags with him. He set them in the corner before going back and returning with Cavers’ personal bag and phone. He put everything on the counter before closing the door and locking it.

  After that, he closed his eyes, resting his forehead to the door for a millisecond. Then his neck straightened, his back went rigid again, and he turned, skimming his dead eyes over me before going to the bathroom. He kept one of the guns on him, while he washed up.

  “Do you need to take a shower?” he asked after a moment

  It was then that I felt like I could relax, as much as I normally could.

  I stood and pulled his gun from my jeans.

  He waved at me. “You need to keep that.”

  “I don’t know how to shoot it.”

  He narrowed his eyes, his head cocking to the side. “You don’t?”

  I shook my head. “It was my line. Before.” I handed him the gun.

  He took it. “Your line?”

  “You know, we all have a line we won’t cross. Shooting a gun was mine.”

  His eyes darkened, and he gave me the gun back. “That’s a seriously stupid line. You need to learn how to shoot.”

  I was aware, but I just didn’t want to tell him that. Or, not yet. I’d wait until Jake became a pain in my ass about getting Raize’s approval before he taught me to shoot. I didn’t know why I was doing this, but I dunno. Maybe it was a new line?

  I yawned, lying down on the bed by the door.

  “Switch.”

  “What?”

  Raize took his bag and the guns he’d put on the other bed, the one closer to the bathroom. “Sleep here.” He put everything on the end of the bed I was currently lying on. “I’ll do watch until Jake gets back.”

  I was not going to argue with that. My head was now bobbing since I’d given myself permission to let the exhaustion seep in. It came hard and fast.

  I lay down, my shoes on, fully dressed. I could be asleep within seconds, and I yawned. Still, if we had to run, I wanted to be ready. I skipped the blanket and turned to lie on my side.

  I watched Raize for a beat.

  I’d never seen anyone like him.

  He was lean, but he had broad shoulders. He moved around without moving around, if that made sense. He had a pretty face. Tan skin. Dark eyes. His hair was left alone. It was brown and he let it be. It wasn’t long or anything, but it wasn’t a crew cut. He was rough without not being rough at all. I knew he had tattoos, some on his arm, I saw one on his back one time, but nothing on his neck or face. He kept them where they could be hidden. And his body, it was lean and cut. Right now, shadows cast down over his forehead and his cheekbones, giving him this whole dark angel look.

  I suppressed a shiver and turned away. What was going on with me?

  He settled at the table by the window, moving the curtain so he could see outside.

  “What are we doing here?”

  He looked over, a flicker in his eyes.

  Normally, I would never ask. Raize always provided information as needed. But my gut told me this was a whole different ballgame.

  There was a moment of quiet before he said, “The Russians want to set up a business relationship down here. We were sent to set up that connection.”

  I frowned. “Here? Who runs San Antonio?”

  “Not here. We’re leaving once we’ve all gotten sleep.”

  “Where?” I pressed.

  “The Valley. Carloni wants us to work with the Estrada Cartel.”

  He stared at me. I stared back.

  Cartel.

  That was a whole different ball game.

  Those words hung between us, because we both knew what that meant.

  I started this journey to find my sister.

  There were a lot of details about the who, the why, the where, etc., but it’s why I was standing in this motel room staring at this guy.

  Jesus.

  There’d been many times that I wished I had never started this journey. But never once had I considered giving up the search for my sister. But today, right now, hearing where our path was taking us, I thought about letting her go.

  Maybe it was time.

  She’d made her decision so long ago, but…

  Not yet.

  I rolled over, curled into a ball, and fell asleep.

  I was going to need the rest.

  8

  Carrie

  We were parked outside a gas station. Me and Jake. I was in the front with the door open, my feet up on the dashboard. We were waiting for Raize and Cav
ers to return from inside.

  It was almost eleven in the morning.

  We only had another hour to go. The drive hadn’t been long, but Raize said we needed to stop, so we did.

  Jake climbed back behind the wheel with his food. He handed me a bag and put his coffee in the drink holder. He handed over the second for me.

  “I added some of the sugary shit for you.”

  I took it, surprised at the gesture. “Thank you.”

  I hadn’t thought about getting anything. I went in, went to the bathroom, washed up, and came back out. I hadn’t needed to get the keys from Jake. Raize had sent Jake to make extra copies while I was sleeping. We each got a set of keys to both vehicles, and once Jake had slept enough to drive, we were off.

  “So?” he asked as he looked my way.

  I sipped my coffee, grimacing at its heat and his question. “I haven’t asked.”

  His eyes shifted to my bag, where he knew my gun was. When we’d taken everything out to the vehicles, Raize had added a gun to my bag. “That is yours now,” he’d told me. “You will need it.”

  Jake shook his head. “Girl.”

  I grinned. I’d grown attached to being called Girl. “It’s Carrie now.”

  He huffed, rolling his eyes. “I don’t get this, whatever you’re doing.”

  “What am I doing?”

  “I don’t know. That’s why I don’t get it. What are you doing? He gave you a gun. Does he know you don’t know how to use it?”

  I took another sip. It was still hot. “He knows.”

  “And?”

  “And what?”

  “I still can’t teach you unless you ask him or he gives me the order. You know that. What’s this weird resistance from you?”

  I sighed, putting my feet down and sitting up in my seat. I rested my head against the backrest. “It’s just another milestone I don’t want to cross yet.”

  “Milestone?”

  “Yeah. You know, in this world, it’s all a slippery slope. Me learning how to shoot a gun is the milestone before I actually use the gun.” My stomach clenched, knowing what was on the other side of that milestone.

  Understanding flared in his eyes. “Look, you’re never gonna be the girl he sends out to kill someone. When it comes to it, the boss is going to do his own dirty work. That's how he got his come-up anyway, but you need to learn. When it’s you or the guy who’s trying to kill you, the other guy has to go. And you ain’t dumb. You know that.”

  I knew that. Of course I did, but it was another step toward losing my soul, too.

  I frowned. “His come-up?”

  He reached for his bag, taking out a sandwich and unwrapping it. “You know.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t.”

  “That’s how he got in the business. He’s from the cartel.” He kept watching me, and seeing my confusion, his lips pressed together. “You didn’t know?”

  I shook my head. Raize came from the cartel? What did that mean?

  I felt like it meant something... Cartels were a whole other level of vicious.

  Wow. The cartel. In our business, they were avoided. The Russians were bad, but the cartel was different. They didn’t just kill you. They went after your family. They went after anyone you loved, and they did their research.

  I was doubly glad no one knew my real name.

  I’d been Brooke when I started down this path. There had been a few other names before Raize started calling me Girl. Now I was Carrie.

  “He was the guy they sent in to take someone out. The dude’s good at killing people.”

  I suppressed a shiver. “How’d he get out?”

  “I don’t know. There were rumors he got out because his boss was indebted to him. Others say he was sold like you were to Carloni. I think the only one who really knows is him.” Jake side-eyed me. “He might tell you. He likes you.”

  I jerked in surprise. “What?”

  He nodded. “He’s got a soft spot for you. Don’t know why. I don’t think he wants to fuck you. Maybe you remind him of someone?”

  That was weirdly unsettling.

  We both stopped talking.

  Jake ate his food, and I sipped my coffee as we waited for Cavers and Raize to show.

  Raize came out first, but waited outside the door. He looked at their truck, then us. I could feel his gaze on me before he went back inside. A couple women were checking him out. That gave me an unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach, too.

  “Is Raize good looking?”

  I hadn’t meant to ask that out loud. Jake paused mid-bite. He started laughing, peeling the wrapper back. “That’s funny, you asking me that.”

  I’d thought it once when I was drunk, but not after. And the women at the airport, now the women here… I just saw the deadness inside of him.

  “Is he?” I didn’t know why I was pushing this. I knew he was. But I wanted to hear what Jake would say. And I didn’t know the reason for that either.

  He paused, the hot dog in his mouth as he studied me a second. Then he swallowed and lowered his food to his lap. “You serious?”

  I nodded.

  He tilted his head, as if he could get a better look at me and maybe understand why I was asking. “Yes. I’m a straight male, but I can tell the ladies like him. A lot. Then again, most women are crazy in my opinion.”

  I nodded. That settled me.

  The world felt right again.

  Those women were just crazy.

  9

  Carrie

  We pulled up to a house two hours later. It was near some warehouses, but isolated from other houses. Really isolated. And it had a large chain fence set around it. The grass was brown—what grass there was. The house itself looked like it could fall apart any second, but Raize had parked and was unloading the bags.

  When Jake got out, Raize said, “I want you to head out and grab what we’ll need to live here for a while.”

  “Like what?”

  “Food. Drinks. Whatever we need.” Raize turned to me and added, “Clothes for her. She’s got nothing.”

  Jake glanced my way before nodding. “Okay.”

  “Girl.”

  I thought I’d be Carrie, but no. Habits were hard to break apparently.

  He didn’t wait for my response. He indicated the back of the truck. “Help Cavers bring everything in.”

  I walked over and grabbed one of the large duffel bags Raize had put in the truck when he and Cavers went on their errands. It was hella heavy, and I recognized the sound of guns inside as I walked toward the house. Assault rifles. Jesus. I gave Raize a look, but he was busy with his phone. He had gotten enough guns that we could wage war, if we needed to. Then it hit me: that was why we were here.

  Cavers came outside. His large shoulders almost didn’t fit through the doorway. He gestured behind him. “Kitchen. You can start taking them out. Lay them on the table.”

  I dipped my head, moving past him. I stepped inside and took a sharp left turn to go into the kitchen, which was too small for a table except a tiny one only one or two people could sit at. I kept going into the dining room where there was a larger table. Putting the bag down, I glanced around. I needed to piss.

  The whole house was small and made up of smaller rooms. The next doorway led into a living room with a couch against one wall and a loveseat against the other. A television sat up on top of a dresser, shoved back against another wall. There was barely enough room for two people to stand in the middle of the room. I kept moving. The other doorway from the living room led to a small hallway, and there was the bathroom. Going in, I shut the door and didn’t move.

  I didn’t know why.

  Maybe a sixth sense? A forewarning?

  Instinct?

  Whatever it was, I held firm.

  I could hear Cavers’ heavy footsteps going in and out of the house, then moving past the bathroom and into a back room. I heard the squeaks from a bed and a thud as something dropped to the floor.

 
; Then I heard it—a lighter tread of footsteps coming in. I didn’t know who that was. Jake was gone, and Raize didn’t make any sound when he walked. He never did.

  The footsteps went past the bathroom, moving slowly. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Whoever this person was, he wasn’t one of us. When those footsteps stopped outside the bathroom, I silently moved up onto the toilet seat using the sink counter and the tub.

  The person moved, and I held my breath.

  I hadn’t locked the door.

  Closing my eyes, I cursed for a second. I needed to formulate a plan.

  Then, the doorknob started to turn. Slowly, making no sound.

  I was caught. I couldn’t move from where I was. There was nowhere to go. A flimsy shower curtain was my only coverage, but pulling it back would make a sound. It’d be pointless, so I froze in place and prayed.

  And boy, did I pray.

  I prayed to baby Jesus. To Mother Gaia. To my sister. To any deities who’d hear. If mermaids were real, I was praying to them. Unicorns. I was willing to throw anything in. Yeti. If leprechauns existed? Why not.

  My time would come, but I hoped it wouldn’t be today.

  The doorknob kept turning.

  The latch unclicked, and the door swung open.

  A stranger stared back at me—dark eyes, dark hair that was wavy and fell forward. A curl hung over his tan forehead. He was my height, and he looked a little chunky, but those eyes… They widened, and for a moment we stared at the other. He didn’t seem to have expected to see anyone.

  I swallowed.

  The moment was over.

  A hard look flashed in his eyes, and he stepped back, pushing the door out of the way.

  I readied myself to launch at him. I had no other choice.

  But as he moved back, bringing up a black-gloved hand with a gun in it, another hand came down on his shoulder. It startled him, and he jerked around.

  Raize was there, a 9mm in hand, and before the guy could think about his gun, Raize had thumbed a bullet into his forehead.