by Tijan
“Ash?” He had paused, his lips lingering over my clit. He was ready for me.
Desire lit me. I felt my whole body come alive, and I arched my back once more. “Yes” left me on a sigh, and he sat up and then slid inside.
I was gone. This was done.
The old me was dead.
This was the new me. This was the me from now on.
I could finally avenge my sister.
But first, I put my arms around Raize’s shoulders and pulled him close. I wrapped my legs around his waist and met him thrust for thrust. I took what I needed from him, damn the consequences.
There were no pretty words or loving touches when we were done. Thank God for that.
Raize rested on top of me for a moment before he pulled out and grabbed some napkins from the gas station bag. He wiped himself off, then handed some to me.
He tucked himself back in, zipped his jeans while I put myself back together as well.
“There’s sanitizer in there.”
Okay. You had to do what you had to do in these moments. I washed between my thighs as much as I could handle.
Jesus.
Raize and I had fucked, and it was good. He was good. More than good.
I swallowed over a knot, because I knew I’d want to do that again. He’d just awakened a whole different appetite. I liked his cock. I liked how he used it.
He sighed, reading something on his phone before typing a response and putting it back in his pocket. He reached forward, starting the truck. He backed up and turned back down the road.
“We have three guys coming down,” he informed me.
And we were back to work.
I pushed my back into the seat, lifting my hips and adjusting my jeans. “When?”
“Tonight. I want you to pick them up, take them to a motel, and set them up.”
“You don’t want Cavers to know about them?” That meant his boss wasn’t sharing with Carloni, and he’d told Raize as much. That was interesting.
“You’ll be driving this truck. Get ’em in their rooms and hand off the keys. I’ll swing by and pick you up. They’ll know what to get for what we’ll be doing.”
“You know these guys?”
“I’ve worked with them before, yes.”
“And if Cavers or Jake asks me what I was doing?”
He glanced over. “They ask you that shit?”
My tongue felt heavy. “Sometimes. I tell them it’s none of their business.”
He scowled. “They shouldn’t be asking you that shit. They know better.”
“They’re male.”
His scowl morphed into a frown. “What does that mean?”
“That means they think they’re above me, that they have the right to ask me when they wouldn’t ask you. It’s a guy thing. It’s like man-splaining, but man-questioning.”
He turned back to the road, shaking his head. “Don’t say shit to them. Direct them to me if they want to know.”
“They won’t ask you.”
“That’s the point, Ash.”
Ash. There was my fake name again.
Ash. I was Ash. I’d asked to be Ash.
I needed to adopt this name.
I refocused. “What are we doing until they get here?”
He gave me a slight grin. “We’re going to scope out Oscar’s buildings and figure out the best way to use those cakes.”
Oh, goody. I’d cross something off my list soon.
A flare of want rushed through me, but I stuffed that right back down. It was wrong to get off on the thought of blowing up a building.
Wasn’t it?
18
Ash
The guys Raize flew in were scary. Then again, Raize was scary. Remember? When had I stopped thinking he was scary?
I considered that. He was still scary. I just didn’t think he’d be as quick to off me as I used to.
As the three guys walked out of the airport, I wondered how they were going to fit in the truck. When they saw the truck, they angled my way. They tossed their bags in the back, and two of the guys—with stony faces and black shades—climbed in behind them. The least scary one, the one that smiled, got into the cab with me.
They looked military, which made me wonder if Raize had been military at some point. He might’ve gone the mercenary route, and I was assuming that’s what these guys were?
I had no idea. I didn’t want to know.
“Hi.” One in the cab gave me a nod. “Raize said you’d set us up?”
I nodded. “I got you guys two motel rooms.”
“Cool.” He settled back, leaning his head against the headrest, and his deep breathing a moment later told me he’d fallen asleep.
The two in the back watched the traffic as we drove.
In some places it was against the law to let humans ride in an open truck bed. But well, when would that stop us? I drove like I normally would, assuming they knew how to brace themselves if I had to brake suddenly.
We got to the motel with no problem, and they exited the truck without a word. They took the room keys from me, and I waited for them to get situated.
Raize’s orders had been to let them do what they were doing, then they’d come out and we’d switch places. I’d go into the room and watch it while they took the truck to do whatever else they needed to do. I’d sit tight until Raize came to get me, or until I was told otherwise.
Twenty minutes later, the guys left, and I sat in one of the rooms. They had closed the connecting door and left all their bags in that room. They did not want me to see what they had in there, and that was fine with me.
My phone buzzed an hour into waiting.
Jake: I’m bored following Cavers around today. Tell me a joke.
A joke? I didn’t have a sense of humor.
Me: No.
Jake: Why not?
I sat up in my chair. This was uncomfortable. Still, I texted back.
Me: Tell yourself a joke.
Jake: See? That was funny.
Me: I’m not funny.
Jake: You are sometimes. You don’t mean to be.
I had no idea what that meant.
Me: You’re making me uncomfortable.
Jake: I wouldn’t want that. What’d you and Raize do earlier?
I frowned, typing back.
Me: I told you. He took me to shoot a gun.
Jake: That doesn’t take all day.
Me: If you want to know information, you need to ask Raize— We went to shoot guns, then ate. That’s all.
I waited.
It took a minute before I got his response.
Jake: You guys bond over shooting or something?
Me: No. Why?
Jake: You seem different around each other.
Me: Stop digging.
Jake: That’s what I’m doing? I thought I was just having a conversation with you.
I didn’t answer. I didn’t know what to answer with.
Jake must not have either.
Jake: Where are you?
Three hours later, I was wondering the same thing about the guys and Raize. I’d gone to the bathroom and done a few laps in the room, but I was going stir crazy. I wasn’t used to sitting this long anymore, and I hadn’t brought a book with me.
I sent Raize a text before replying to Jake.
Me: Jake is asking where I am.
He didn’t reply, so I didn’t say anything.
Two hours later, my neck was cramping and my stomach growled.
Raize told me to stay and watch the rooms, so I had. But I wanted to leave. I was thirsty, and I wasn’t sure if the water from the sink was drinkable.
I texted Raize.
Me: I need to go to the vending machine for water.
He didn’t reply.
I never went to the vending machine.
When I woke sometime later, I had a dizzy head and stomach cramps.
Scooting off the bed, I made it to the bathroom. What time was it?
Che
cking my phone, it was after midnight. 12:48.
My head was still swimming, so I double-checked the doors. Both were locked, and then climbed back onto the bed. This time, I snagged one of the motel’s blankets and pulled it over me.
I didn’t know why I was cold, but I was shivering.
I went back to sleep.
A door slammed, and I jolted upright, gasping.
The room was completely dark.
I started to lie back, but there was a tingling at the back of my neck.
I wasn’t alone in the room.
I screamed as a shadow darted forward. A hand slammed over my mouth. “It’s me. Raize. Stop.”
I ceased, gulping in relieved breaths. I didn’t want to think about who might’ve come in.
A second later, when I relaxed, he pulled his hand away. “I have water and food for you,” he whispered. “Can you sit up?”
I nodded. I’d gone days before without food and water. But I was still a little light-headed. He kept his hand on my elbow as he gave me the water bottle. A sandwich was next, but I wasn’t sure I could swallow that. I pushed it away, pulling my elbow free, and drank the entire bottle before speaking.
“I’m fine. Just needed this.”
I couldn’t see him in the dark. There was no light from outside, nothing from the motel room—no alarm clock or light from the connected room, though I could hear the guys walking around in there.
I wanted to ask what they’d done, but I could smell sulfur and sweat on Raize. I didn’t want to know who’d been on the other end.
A different thought came to me. “You didn’t blow up that building, did you?”
He tensed before relaxing, a slight chuckle coming from him. This time it sounded nice to me, sliding down my back in a soothing way.
“No. It’s on your list, not mine.”
I grunted. “Good.”
“You want to stay here?”
“You mean sleep on a bed?”
“Better than a sleeping bag.”
“Won’t Cavers get suspicious?”
“I can go back, tell him I have you on a stakeout.”
“He’ll still get suspicious. I wouldn’t want to stay if you weren’t here. Those guys are scary.”
“They won’t do anything. The door is locked.”
“Right.” I mocked him, not caring. “Because I’m sure that’ll stop them.”
He chuckled again. Why did that make my insides warm as well?
“They won’t harm you. I know them.”
“I don’t, and that doesn’t make me feel better.” I nudged him back and stood. “Let’s go back.”
I moved around him, heading to the bathroom. When I came out, he had the outside door propped open. Finally, light. A small ray from the streetlight was shining.
I walked past him, and he let the door go.
I started for the truck, but he made a sound, indicating the car Jake and I had driven a few days ago. I got in. That had only been three days ago? It seemed like a lifetime.
“How long do you think we’ll be down here?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Why?”
“If we do this, and get everything set up, you think your boss will install you down here permanently?”
Raize glanced over. “Why are you asking that?” His voice was rough, the edge was back.
“I’m wondering if it’s worth it to ask for mattresses at the house.”
I could literally see him relax, one muscle at a time. “It’s not. We’ll be transferring locations soon.”
Oh.
Dammit.
That bed felt nice.
A little while later, he pulled into the driveway at the house. When I started to get out, he stopped me. “Wait.”
I sat back.
He reached over into my pocket and pulled out my phone.
I gave him a glare. “You could’ve just asked.”
“This was easier, less of a fight.” He was already going through it, and when he paused, I knew he was reading the texts from Jake. His jaw clenched, and he hit a button before he handed the phone back to me. He’d deleted all the text messages, including the one to him. “I’m going to get you a new phone.”
I started to protest, but then shrugged. “He’ll need to have my number if we need to get ahold of each other for any reason.”
“I’m aware, thank you.” Still biting.
I ignored that.
“He’s pushing you, and I don’t like it. He shouldn’t be pushing.”
“He wants to get to know me.”
“He shouldn’t.”
I could feel the glare coming from him, even though it was dark. A few shadows played over his face, and I could see his lips, his chin. He had a nice jawline. It was making me feel restless again.
What was wrong with me? Raize had killed a guy simply because he talked back when he shouldn’t have. Actually, that wasn’t altogether true. He’d asked me if the henchman would be a problem. The answer was yes. That’s why he’d shot him.
How could I be this restless again? Twice in one day? I’d lost my mind. That was the only explanation.
As if reading my mind, Raize asked, “You okay now?”
“About Jake or…?”
“You need to get off again?”
I inhaled a sharp breath. It was like he was asking if I needed a hit of coke or something. So casual.
“I’m fine,” I clipped out.
“Good. Stop being nice to Jake. I need to see if he’ll stop pushing you.”
I’d been about to ask what it would mean if Jake didn’t stop pushing, but then I thought about it. I didn’t want to know.
I went inside, not waiting for Raize, and I walked through the kitchen. The guys weren’t here. I didn’t know where they were sleeping, but I went to my room, flipped the light on, and locked the door.
It was then I realized I’d had it locked this morning, too.
That hadn’t stopped Raize.
I didn’t know how I felt about that, and then I was just so tired of everything.
19
Ash
I slept late the next morning, and when I got up, I found coffee, toast, and a note left for me in the kitchen.
Boss said to let you sleep. We’re off doing recon. Call if you’re bored –Jake
The toast was cold. The coffee was colder.
I had the house to myself.
I felt like I’d just scored a touchdown without ever carrying the football. Score.
I wasn’t going to ask what recon they were doing. There were so many different agendas and lies going on—I was just following orders from now on. Doing what Raize said and living. My two main priorities as of now. The list would come. Raize would help, or he said he would.
So I ate my cold toast, drank my cold coffee, and grabbed a book. I went outside, found a tree in the backyard, and lay down on a blanket. All in all, this was the beginning to a great ‘off’ day, if those existed in this world.
I’d fallen asleep out there when I heard the voices and sat up.
There was movement inside the house.
The guys were back.
I stood and bent over to grab my book as a voice hit me—one I didn’t recognize.
Lifting my head, everything went on alert inside of me.
I could see guys moving back and forth around the house, but I’d known. As soon as I couldn’t place that first voice, I had known. Now that I saw, the alarm went flat inside of me. Dulled. Maybe that was my fight-flight mode? I didn’t know anymore, but the guys I was seeing in the house weren’t my guys.
They were strangers, and they were moving through the house on a mission. They went from room to room, shouting to each other. They rummaged through the kitchen.
Crap.
I edged back, my hand going to my pocket. Raize had taken my phone, but I had my fake ID in my pocket. That’s all I cared about. Oh, damn. My gun. Where was my gun? Would the guys have left guns in there?
And why was I still standing here?
I scooted back, hiding behind the tree, and inched back until I could slide through an opening in the fence.
I heard more shouting, and when I looked back, a guy was in the backyard, staring right at me.
Fuck!
Run.
Run, run, run.
I shoved off, thanking God that I hadn’t taken my sneakers off before I fell asleep. I pumped my arms and my book flew from my hand, but I kept going.
I couldn’t stop.
I’d be captured—raped, tortured, drugged. I didn’t know. I’d be interrogated for sure.
They’d be cruel, too. My heart pounded its way out of my chest.
The guy was in pursuit behind me. “She’s here! Going west,” I heard him yell.
Fuck.
Damn.
I changed course, spotting a path through a backyard, and I took it, going east now.
There was more shouting.
I had to keep going.
Damn, damn, damn. Why hadn’t I kept myself hydrated? My body full of food? Those were energy reserves. I’d forgotten the reason I kept up on that shit.
I’d gotten lazy, soft.
I’d been lulled into a false sense of safety because of Raize.
I was always with him, thinking he’d always protect me. That was a joke.
I sprinted through the backyard, veering past a picnic table and around to the front of the house. I spied some gardening shears and grabbed them on the way.
An elderly guy came out the side screen door. It slammed shut behind him. “Hey!”
I whipped past him.
The other guy was right behind me.
“Oh hey! Stop!”
“HEY!”
“Why are you chasing that gi—” He stopped talking, and I heard the sounds of a tussle.
The house owner had waded in and gotten involved.
I couldn’t think about that.
I had to keep going.
When I hit the street, I didn’t see anyone following me—no vehicle—but I still kept going, finding another house that didn’t have a fence. I went around the side to the backyard. A dog was chained up. I couldn’t tell the breed, but he was big and dark, and he looked hungry.