CANARY

by Tijan

  All that changed when we pulled into a back gravel road that wound through dense forest. The trees were almost intimidating, but then the road opened up to a beach. The sounds of lapping waves were almost refreshing, along with the smell. There was something about water. It was clearing, pure.

  Raize parked, keeping his lights on.

  We just saw water. There was no one else there.

  That changed after we’d taken a few steps.

  Two individuals came down from an embankment. They skimmed over the dirt, landing on the beach twenty feet from us and immediately Raize and Abram had their guns in the air.

  The taller one, who was a guy, held his hands up. He came closer, dressed in dark clothing, a stocking cap that was pulled low over his head. Dreadlocks peeked out from underneath. He was wiry. The female with him was dressed the same, but shorter. A little more petite. She had orange hair and she held her hands up, too. She shared a look with her companion, then approached slowly.

  “We’re the ones you came to meet.”

  Raize didn’t say anything.

  Neither did anyone else.

  The woman narrowed her eyes, but added, “I’m Carol.” She motioned just behind her. “That’s Blade. You reached out to us.”

  Raize studied both, giving the guy the longer stare before he glanced at me.

  That was my signal.

  I approached, bypassing Verónica and stepping between Raize and Abram.

  “You can take them tonight?”

  The woman started to respond, lowering her hands.

  Abram cut her off, asking in a clipped tone, “What the fuck? Who are you talking about?”

  “You and Verónica.”

  “What?” Verónica gasped, moving forward. Her eyes were wide as she was taking everything in. “What are you doing?”

  Raize ignored both, asking the woman, “Can you or can’t you? I need to know.”

  She lowered her hands all the way, but took a step back. Her gaze was flitting among all of us, but lingering on me before moving back to Raize. She raised her chin up. “We can take them.”

  The man moved to the side. He was almost completing a circle with him at the most northern point. “We know you, who you are. We just want you to know that.”

  I had no clue what was being said. They were being cryptic.

  Raize’s eyes cooled. “I reached out to see if you can hide both of them. That’s all you need to know.”

  Guess I wasn’t supposed to know.

  “Clay!” Verónica snapped. “What are you doing?”

  He turned to her. “Marco won’t stop looking for you. These people are from a network that hides people. They’re the best at their job, and as long as you’re missing, Marco can’t kill me.”

  Her eyes were getting bigger and bigger with each word he said.

  And, wow. That made sense. A whole lot of sense.

  Raize had been planning this the whole time? Was that why we came up here? These people were here?

  “You know he’s going to come for you anyway.”

  “Marco assumes you’re still with me. He’s not prepared for what I’ll tell him. As long as I’m alive, I know where you are. He won’t touch me. He won’t dare because he does love you in his way.”

  Verónica stumbled back a step, her hands rising to knead at her temples. She bent over, muttering in Spanish under her breath.

  “You won’t know where they are.” The woman stepped forward again. “We don’t work that way. You know we don’t.”

  “I know, but he won’t,” Raize said softly. “V.”

  She was shaking her head and turning to walk in a tight circle. Over and over again. Her hands went to her hips. “I cannot believe you did this. I left him for you. One bro—”

  “It’s for your safety. These people are the best. Marco won’t know that I won’t know. I can use that, string him along, and it’ll work. He’s irrational when it comes to his sister.”

  She stopped, her hands falling back down. A look of utter desolation settled over her shoulders. Her eyes brimming with tears. “I’ll never see you again?”

  “No.” Raize continued, “It’ll be a new life. You wanted a new life. You’ll be normal. They’ll help you with a home, a job. Papers. Whatever you need. It’s a new life. Your mother would want that for you.”

  Verónica picked up on what he was saying, how he was phrasing it.

  He didn’t want these people to know of her relation to them.

  “I can’t,” she whispered, the tears starting to fall.

  “You have to. You leave, I can use that as leverage to stop Marco. You don’t leave, he’ll keep sending sicarios after me. He’ll keep at it until he gets you back. You know this.” He went to his sister, drawing her into his arms. “You and Abram. You go together. I’ve paid for both of you—”

  “No.”

  Raize frowned at Abram. “What do you mean?”

  He was shaking his head. “I’m not going with her.”

  Verónica started crying again. “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.” She was in full meltdown mode.

  The woman and man shared another look, both edging back a step.

  Raize raised his voice. “I paid for you. You love her! You be with her.”

  “No, brother.” Abram went the other way, gentling his tone. He tried to give Verónica a reassuring smile. It faltered and sadness emanated from him. “I’m sorry, Verónica. I am, but I’ve got too much blood on me. I’d never be able to live a normal life. But you can. You’re a good person. In his way, Marco tried to keep that world away from you as much as he could. I’m going to stay. I’m going to protect my brother.” He indicated Raize. “He’s going to need me, and you know it.”

  “No,” another cracked whisper from Verónica. “No, no, no.”

  Raize moved back, his gaze going to the couple. “I need your reassurance that she’ll be safe. You’re going to be hiding Marco Estrada’s sister. You know who Marco Estrada is?”

  They shared another look.

  The woman nodded. “We do. We’re aware of all the dynamics going on here.”

  Right. More crypticness. I was guessing they were indicating they knew who Raize worked for. That’s the only thing that made sense.

  Raize’s eyes went flat. His lips thinned. “I need you to say that she’ll be kept safe and alive.”

  She frowned. Her eyebrows dipped down, but she said it. “She’ll be kept safe and alive. She’ll be happy, too, eventually. We care about these people. It’s our entire mission.”

  His mouth curved down, but he turned to me. “Is she lying?”

  Relief flooded me. I was so grateful he worded it that way.

  “She’s telling the truth.”

  Raize’s eyes went to the guy. “You now.”

  “Wha—”

  Raize’s gun was in the air. His words were rough. “I need you to say the same words.”

  “We don’t do business like thi—” The woman started to step between them.

  The guy interrupted her, his hand catching her shoulder and holding her in place. He raised his chin, too. “We will keep her safe and protected. She’ll be happy. That is my promise to you.”

  I didn’t know why or how, but this guy understood the need inside of Raize. An understanding was there in his eyes, a dark knowing and it was enough.

  I gave Raize a nod when he glanced my way. As soon as I did, he lowered the gun. The fight fled from him. His eyes closed for a beat.

  Okay.

  Now it was my turn.

  I moved to Verónica, taking her into my arms. I hugged her and whispered, cupping the back of her head, “This is the ultimate gift your brother can give you. Both of your brothers. You need to accept it. Your mother would want this.”

  She was trembling in my arms, but her arms came up and wrapped tightly around me. She burrowed her head into my neck and shoulder. “I cannot. I cannot. Too much loss.”

  “You have to, but Verónica.” I pu
lled back, framing her face with my hands and I rested my forehead on hers. “Do this for your brother. You have no idea how precious this gift is. Please take it.”

  “What do you think, sis?”

  I was hugging Raize’s sister, but it was someone else I was saying goodbye to.

  Brooke.

  Drawing in a breath, I stepped back.

  Verónica was still crying, but she moved to Raize.

  I turned away, wiping at my eye.

  The hugs were hard to watch.

  Verónica was sobbing and hugging Raize so tight. Then Abram.

  She kept whispering his name, Abraham, over and over again.

  In the end, the couple came forward and took her from Abram’s arms.

  “Cuida de él. Cuida su espalda. Guárdalo. ¡Prometeme! Prométemelo, mi amor. Yo te amaba Hago. Yo siempre.”

  Abram’s dam broke. Tears fell from his eyelids and he choked out, “I will. I’ll protect him.” He had to take a breath. “I love you, too, Verónica. Siempre te he amado.”

  Verónica broke again, falling to the ground.

  I didn’t know what he said, but it was beautiful whatever it was. It felt right not to know.

  The man, Blade, bent down and picked her up. He carried her as if she were a child and walked back how they’d come. The woman, Carol, waited a bit before turning to us. She was blinking back her own tears, and her voice came out raspy. “When you reached out, we did our homework. We know you worked for two cartels and are now in the employment of Roman Marakov. We weren’t sure about taking this booking, but decided to proceed anyways. This is the hardest part. It will get better. Estrada will never find her.” She paused, glancing back before as if coming to a decision. Her shoulders set. “The only people who will know where she is, will be Blade and myself. No one else.”

  Raize dipped his head down. “Thank you.”

  Abram said, “Gracias.”

  A sad smile came from her. “De nada.”

  She looked my way, a question in her eyes, but she didn’t say anything.

  She turned and left.

  I wiped away another tear.

  61

  Ash

  “Heya, little baby doll.”

  My mom was at the door and I straightened back from my stuffies. She had that look, and when Mom had that look, it wasn’t good.

  I knew my stomach would start hurting soon, but I took a small breath. I held it. Dad told me this was the best way to calm ‘it’ when Mom was around. I never knew what ‘it’ was, but the breath holding and sitting real still always helped. Mom said what she wanted to say and left, and sometimes that look would go away. Other times…

  I looked at my stuffies, deciding which ones I wanted with me if the ‘other time’ happened.

  The stuffies helped, especially the wolf one. And the dragon one. Both were so soft and heavy.

  I liked them a lot.

  “Hey, baby.” She came in, kneeling down beside me.

  Her perfume was heavy today.

  That wasn’t a good sign.

  She leaned in, smiling at me, and reached up. Her finger traced over my forehead, tracing a hair strand and tucking it behind my ear. She kept her hands on my forehead, a light and loving touch.

  Sometimes Mom would lean in and kiss me, whisper her sweet things, and I liked that Mom.

  I hadn’t seen that one for a long time, though.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  Oh man.

  I expelled some air, sticking my tummy out. That came out all soft and whispery, like I was scared.

  She didn’t like when I sounded like that.

  The look in her eye switched, and she pulled back a bit. Her hand pressed in to my forehead, but then she blinked a bunch and gave me another smile.

  I relaxed a little then.

  She was trying not to have ‘that look.’ I could always tell when she was trying.

  Couldn’t say anything about it, but I still knew.

  I’d only need my stuffies to sleep tonight. That was good.

  “I wanted to tell you that you have a friend coming over to play later. A neighbor girl. You guys are the same age, so I think you’ll get along fabulously.” She glanced at my stuffies and laughed softly. “You might have to share a stuffie or two. Is that okay?”

  I smiled at her, trying to make her feel like I loved her with my eyes. She always liked that a lot, and I kept my smile stretched as far as I could get it to go. Sometimes it hurt, but that was fine. Always worth it. She liked it when I showed her my teeth, too.

  She said that was cute.

  “Of course, Mama. It’s always nice to have a friend.”

  “Yes.” She continued to watch me, then a softness came over her. She traced my hair again, a loving touch on my forehead before she blinked her eyes a whole bunch again. Leaning in, she rested her forehead to mine before moving and resting her cheek there. She tugged me into her arms. “I just love you so much. It’s good if you had a friend. Right?”

  She pulled back.

  I nodded, that smile hurting my face. “Of course, Mama.”

  The doorbell rang.

  Remembering now, as we drove away, a tear slid down my face.

  Over my cheek.

  To the corner of my mouth.

  It lingered, holding before it slid to my chin.

  It held there.

  I’m sure it fell, but I let it be.

  Somehow it seemed appropriate.

  I knew why this memory came today.

  I knew why they were all coming back to me.

  62

  Raize

  We were driving back when my phone lit up.

  Recognizing Jake’s number, I hit accept. “What’s wrong?”

  “We’re in trouble.”

  Abram leaned forward. “Explain, man.”

  “We found a tracker on that guy. It was in his wallet.”

  “Get out of there. Now!” I hit the accelerator, already knowing we could be too late. We were thirty minutes out and I didn’t know these roads.

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

  “On it.”

  Dialtone.

  No one said a word the last fifteen minutes. There was no reason.

  Abram had his gun out and he was getting ready. He had two more guns on him. All were loaded.

  He glanced my way, motioning with his head in Ash’s direction.

  I nodded.

  Without a word spoken, he handed her one of the guns. She had her other gun out as well, and her hand reached up, wiping at her face.

  I frowned, but seeing my look, she flashed me a tight smile.

  She was nervous.

  “Ash.”

  “What?”

  Her tone was even. That was good. She wouldn’t lose her shit. If anything, she’d kill everyone to save that dog of hers.

  “You need to stick to me.”

  She slammed in the magazine for her gun and checked the safety. “I know.” Then she rested that gun on her lap, and gazed out the window.

  “Text Jake,” I told Ash. “See if he responds.”

  “Should I call him?”

  “No. If he forgot to put his phone on silent, I don’t want to risk alerting anyone if they’re hiding.”

  She thumbed off a text, and I went through what we might find driving back.

  The worst-case scenario was that they had Jake and Cavers, alive.

  This life, to me, that was always the worst case. That meant torture, prolonged death, dismemberment.

  Me? Death was my first choice. But damn, that was before I had people who cared about me. Ash cared.

  Ash was enough.

  Maybe torture would be my choice, there was a chance of escape then. As long as you’re breathing, there’s a chance.

  Fuck.

  It was rising in me. I was locking down.

  It was me or them.

  It was my men or them.

  I was getting ready to head to a gunfight.

  It was Ash or them.r />
  Them weren’t them anymore.

  The feelings went first.

  They were people.

  They were obstacles. They were weapons.

  They were a threat against me or mine.

  The emotions left me.

  Any kindness. I no longer cared about the world, just mine. That was it.

  I flipped a switch. All the color was gone. Everything was in different levels of gray. Black. White. Dark gray. Light gray. Someone would either live or die. I would either kill them or they’d kill me.

  After that, the mind began to clear out the thoughts I didn’t need.

  My mission was to get in, assess Jake and Cavers, and proceed from there.

  Kill, if people were between them and me.

  Five minutes later, we arrived.

  Jake never texted back.

  ASH

  I was a mix of emotions.

  Fear. Anticipation. Readiness.

  The same old, same old.

  What number was this for me? Of fighting? With shooting?

  I’d lost count by now.

  And I knew Raize was turning his killer mode on. I could see it happen. He stripped himself of his humanity, keeping whatever was left that helped him become the murderer that he needed to be. Abram had been in that one fight with us, but I could tell he didn’t know how to take my changes when I got my gun ready.

  He had two.

  I had two.

  I didn’t know how many Raize had or where his rifle was, but then it didn’t matter.

  We were going into this fight.

  We were either going in to get Jake, Cavers, and Gus out or we were going in to avenge them.

  It was actually simple, and I was past freaking out about it. Me and mine or them.

  It was becoming like that to me.

  Raize didn’t turn into the driveway. He kept straight and took the first half road that led from the street. Once we parked, we moved fast.

  Raize was out of the car and hurrying, getting his own guns ready. He had the rifle in the back of the Suburban, under a compartment, and he put it together, then slung it across his back. After that, he shut the door and we were off.

  Raize first, leading the way.