The Holy Trinity Trilogy

by Madeline Sheehan

  “You.” She poked me in the chest.

  “I have never done anything to you,” I said defensively. But I had, hadn’t I? Inadvertently anyway. I’d come out of nowhere and taken from her someone she loved.

  “Do you know what I loathe about the Gaje?” she asked.

  “I know I really don’t care,” I told her and began collecting the scattered dishes.

  “They’re greedy, nasty little whores who think just because they live in big houses and drive nice cars that they can have anything they want just because they want it. And when you’re done wanting it you throw it away like it never meant a thing to you and you move on to something bigger or prettier.”

  Still ignoring her, I reached down to pick up another dish.

  “Why did it have to be you?” she asked. “Why?” she continued in a scathing tone. “You have no magic, you have no Romani in you and you’re not even that pretty!”

  “You think I wanted this!” I yelled. I dropped the dishes I was holding and turned toward her. “You think this was how I’d envisioned myself ending up with someone?” I laughed at her. “Yeah, I stayed up every night as a little girl praying to the gods hoping someday they would send me to a guy who would see me as nothing more than a necessity!” Seething, I turned my back on her to pick up the dishes I’d dropped. Dumping them in the barrel, I began hastily collecting the others that had scattered further away.

  “No matter,” Onyx said, suddenly directly behind me. “Soon there won’t be much left of you to see.”

  A sense of dread filled me. I’d just barely turned my head when I felt the palms of her hands push against my back. With strength I didn’t think possible for someone of her size, or even a human for that matter, she pushed me and I flew about ten feet through the front lot then skidded across the grass before hitting the tire of a large van.

  Before I knew what was happening she was wrenching me up. Frantically, I reached for the closest thing to me, the back double doors of a van, only to find them completely smooth and devoid of anything to grasp.

  “Bye, Trinity.” She laughed as she pushed me forward. I tottered for a minute, then a blast of wind hit me hard and I went flying through the wards.

  It took me a minute to realize what had happened. I’d never even ventured sticking a pinky finger through the wards. I had always assumed they consisted of some kind of substance, something tangible. But it was as if I had simply fallen over.

  Behind me, the camp had vanished.

  I was still standing in the middle of a huge clearing except now it was empty. I walked forward and was instantly overcome with the strangest sensation to…walk away.

  “Onyx! You bitch!” I screamed.

  “I didn’t ask for delivery,” somebody hissed from behind me. My mouth dried. “But I’ll take it.”

  “Shit! Shit! SHIT!” I screamed. I screamed and then I ran.

  My body surprised me. Several months of hard labor had given me more endurance than I’d expected. I ignored the small branches and sharp rocks cutting into my feet and focused solely on pumping my arms and legs as hard as I could.

  A frighteningly high-pitched scream had me nearly jumping out of my skin. To my left, two naked bodies rolled alongside me locked in a bloodied ball of snarls and hisses. I turned sharply to the right, smashing my face into a low-hanging tree branch. Stumbling backwards I tripped over something, a rock maybe. Fully engulfed in the forest and its shadows, I could barely see.

  Getting to my feet I heard a crunch followed by a low growl. Squinting, I scanned the area. Crouched by a tree no more than four or five feet from me, eyes glowing red against the dark of the forest, was how I was going to die. As if reading my thoughts, he grinned at me, a depraved and ugly look full of vile intent.

  I began to shake furiously as he stepped out of the shadows. “I’m going to fuck you while I kill you,” he hissed, his nostrils flaring.

  If his intentions were to incite fear in his victims before he did them in, it was working tenfold. But I didn’t doubt him for a second. He was, in fact, turned on. Naked as the day he was born and bared before me I could see just how arousing the thought of raping and killing me was to him.

  “Please,” I begged him. “Don’t.”

  He laughed, the sound resembling more of a growl than anything close to merriment. Inhaling again, this time deeply, his large chest expanded. “Ahhhh, you are far too sweet. I should bring you back and keep you as my own.”

  Oh my gods. He wanted to make me like him.

  The horror I felt must have shown on my face because the bastards grin swelled. I was out of options and out of time. In a last desperate attempt to live, I turned to run.

  With speed no mere human will ever possess he had me pinned down on my stomach before I’d even had a chance to move. Too startled, too scared to even scream, my bladder failed me.

  Something wet and surprisingly warm began stroking my cheek. His tongue, I realized, as I fought the urge to gag while he licked his way from my chin to my temple.

  I didn’t want to die, not before I’d really gotten a chance to live. And not like this.

  Cool air hit my back as my t-shirt was torn open. I squeezed my eyes shut. Was it going to hurt to turn? Would I remember my life before? Would any part of me be the same?

  My body instinctively jerked off the ground as ice cold daggers pierced through the flesh on my back. I screamed through the horrible pain. It felt as if my flesh was being slowly torn apart. I kept on screaming until an explosion went off. I felt a tearing inside of my ear, and then both pain and pressure filled my head. It hurt so bad I barely noticed that the weight on top of me was gone.

  “I’ve got you, fată, you’re safe now,” a muffled voice said. Something warm pressed up against my cheek. “I’m not leaving you. Not ever again. You're safe, Trin. I promise.”

  I tried to speak, to say anything at all, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even move.

  Thankfully, everything soon went black.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  I awoke sometime later in an unfamiliar bed, several candles flickered beside my head, and sharp pains throbbed throughout my right ear and temple. Drina’s face appeared above me, frowning.

  “How do you feel?” she asked.

  “Uh, not good.” My voice shook and creaked like an old rocking chair.

  Her eyes narrowed. “He feels terrible, you know.”

  “What?" I asked, confused. “Who?”

  “Xan, of course.” Drina snorted. “Stupid boy. Your ear I was able to heal, but if he hadn’t shot the creature you’d be dead right now. That is one thing I can’t fix.”

  Shot? The wards! That monster! Oh my gods!

  “My back?” I yelled, sitting up, remembering the feeling of something tearing into my skin.

  “Calm down!” Drina snapped. “You were scratched, not bitten. You and Xan have matching scars now. “Drink this, you’ll feel better.”

  She handed me a steaming mug of foul smelling liquid. I choked down as much as I could before I felt it might come back up. Yet, Drina was right. The pain in my head and ear slowly receded.

  “Like magic,” I muttered.

  Drina’s laughter was deep and slow. I could have sworn at that moment, it was tangible, a live entity and completely separate from her and if I wished to reach out and touch it I would have been able.

  “Trin?” Xan’s face came into view as he rounded the bed and came into the candle light. Drina stood and the magic I’d felt from her evaporated.

  “I’ll be at Jaelle’s,” she said, looking at Xan, her expression grim. Mother and son stared hard at each other, their dark identical eyes waging a silent battle.

  I burst into tears as soon as she left.

  “Shhh…” Xan whispered, embracing me. He stroked my hair, my back, and my arms. Any part of me he could find. I was shaking and cold, even though it was warm in Drina’s trailer. Needing his warmth I buried myself into his body. I’d been without him for too long.r />
  “Please don’t hate me,” I sobbed against him. “I never wanted any of this.”

  “No, fată… I could never…didn’t ever…” He stopped speaking and gripped me tighter. “I’m sorry,” he finally said.

  Xan was at a loss for words? Apologizing even? Had the world come to an end? Oh…well yeah, sort of.

  I knew it was time to make a decision. I could keep fighting against Gerik’s claim on me, keep fighting against what my body demanded but the rational part of my brain rejected. Or…I could give it all to Gerik – my virginity, my soul, and my free will.

  My family was gone and the world as it had been…gone. I had a new family now and a choice to make between two men. One with so much magic he couldn’t contain it all and the other without any.

  Both were beautiful, caring and ready to be there for me when I needed them. Gerik made me drop to me knees, desperate and…not at all myself.

  Xan… He made my stomach flutter when he smiled at me. His soft touches made me ache for more than just touches. I wanted Xan. I wanted all of Xan. I wanted our late night conversations and playfulness during practice. And more. I wanted everything I could get out of him.

  I encircled his neck, pulling him toward me until his face was close to mine. I traced a finely-edged cheekbone and brushed my lips against his. “Xan, I need you.”

  “I’m here Trin. I’m not leaving this time. I promi—”

  “No.” I smiled at him. “I mean I want you.”

  He studied me for a moment. I watched as his usually harsh features softened. “I don’t want it to be horrible for you.”

  I shook my head, ours noses touching. “Not being with you is infinitely worse.”

  Drina’s poor bedside table was the first of many casualties. Pulling his shirt over his head and kicking off his jeans, he surveyed my clothing. “Do you like this shirt, fată?” He tugged at the baggy black t-shirt I was wearing. I glanced down at it.

  It was Gerik’s. Drina must have gone to my trailer for clothing and grabbed the first thing she found. Xan grinned when I didn’t answer. “In that case…” That was all the warning I had before he ripped it from collar to hem and tore it off me.

  Ours was more of a battle than any sort of intimacy. The moment Xan’s lips met mine, every fiber of my being begged for retreat, forcing me to run from the man I wanted more than anything. Touches meant to create pleasure caused me to cry out in agony even as I screamed to be closer to him. The walls shook and the windows rattled, as we had no choice but to attack each other.

  Xan’s passion eventually turned into brutal desperation. In our hopeless attempts to get as close as two people can, all of the pain, humiliation and rejection Xan had endured up until now, was all coming to a head. He was quickly reaching the point of no return.

  “Tell me to stop, Trinity. Tell me.” His words were clipped and hard. His breath was hot against my face. He had me pinned up against a wall and had tried to kiss me. I’d turned away just in time and he’d responded by punching a hole through the paneling right next to my head. It was one of many.

  He jerked my chin until we were forehead to forehead, our heavy breathing mingling in each other’s mouths. Gripping me tighter he wedged his hips in-between my legs. “Otherwise I’m going to finish this right now,” he said harshly.

  My body jerked at the intimate contact only there was nowhere for me to go. His hold on me was bruising and he was seconds away from making good on his words.

  “Tell me to stop, fată,” he growled. His eyes had begun to shine with wild abandon.

  Humanity had no place here. Here, we had no choice but to let loose the animal inside, an ancient instinctual part of us all, no matter how deeply buried. One ounce of mercy and all would be lost. I knew I would not be able to go through this again.

  “Finish it,” I whispered through my teeth as my body tried to shrivel away from his.

  With one excruciatingly painful thrust he found his entry inside of me. My body went limp as the pain instantly receded and was replaced by liquid warmth. Brushing sweat-drenched hair out of my face, dark eyes found mine.

  “It worked,” I panted.

  Arching up until I could kiss him, I swept the tip of my tongue inside and felt nothing but the sweetness of his own mouth and the instinctual need to deepen our kiss, but he pulled away.

  “You are not his anymore, Trin,” he said, his voice rough as his body retreated and then returned, pressing hard into mine. I gasped as foreign sensations of pleasure burst forth and exploded within me.

  “Do you know what this means?” he asked, his tone and body language fiercely possessive. “You’re mine, Trinity. Mine.” There was so much emotion in those dark eyes that I felt my heart immediately responding.

  Then Xan began to move.

  It was painfully obvious that what had happened so far had only been the prelude; the calm before the storm. Our bodies crashed together like waves; the pounding of Xan’s heart against my own was like thunder in my head. I saw stars as my body fevered and shook with the feel of him moving inside of me.

  Xan was everywhere, all over me, inside and out, surrounding me, yet I wanted – no, I needed – more. With every kiss, every touch, every stroke, he brought me higher, taunting me to reach an unseen edge and to free-fall over it alongside him.

  When my world exploded, my insides shattered, my skin quivered and melted, it was all I could do to hold on to reality.

  Alive is a relative term. As long as you were breathing you were alive, right? Just breathing would never be enough for me ever again. What I had experienced with Xan was life at its finest. The way his smiles turned me inside out and how his kisses made my stomach dance, the way his skin felt underneath my touch and how amazing he felt inside of me. It…it was everything.

  “Holy Himeros,” I sighed. Xan looked down at me, his features hard. “What’s wrong?” I asked, worried.

  Silence.

  “Xan?” My voice cracked. Why wasn’t he saying anything? “Are you mad at me?” I asked him. “Did I do something wrong?” Was being a virgin really that bad of a thing? Maybe to a guy like Xan it was.

  “God no.” He kissed me softly on the lips. “It’s just…I didn’t realize that you really had never been with anyone before.”

  “How could I? I’d never even kissed a guy until I met Gerik!” I said defensively. “I’d never even wanted to!”

  His eyes widened. “I know! I mean, I didn’t know that but I knew that you couldn’t…dammit, Trin. I just didn’t think that you and Gerik never actually—”

  “I don’t want to talk about Gerik right now!” I yelled and rolled away, giving him my back.

  “Why me?” he asked, surprising me. “You said you had never even wanted to kiss a guy until you met Gerik, so why me? What happened? Why would you give me this?”

  When I rolled back over I found his face full of wonder. He looked young and vulnerable in a way I’d never seen him before.

  “I’m not really sure what happened,” I told him honestly. “I just wanted you.”

  Instead of answering, he pulled me to him. “Xan?”

  “Mmmhmm?” His teeth grazed my neck.

  “Oh,” I said giggling. “What if I told you I was tired?”

  The look he gave me would have made small children cry. He covered me with his body and the heavy, hard feel of him instantly stirred me back to life. He wound my long hair around his hand until my head was flush against his fist and, just when I thought this round was going to be as abrasive as the first, he captured my lips in a light embrace. The man I watched lift motorcycles with his bare hands, split logs in single strokes, began scattering soft kisses down my neck, across my breasts and over my stomach, then back up again.

  I wrapped my legs around his waist and in one upward thrust I joined us.

  “Virgin…” he muttered.

  “Not anymore,” I said, grinning.

  The sex this time was gentler, rhythmic, and even slower than th
e beating of our hearts. We finished together; his face buried in my chest as he shook with his release. And it was like that, that we fell asleep, Xan still deep inside me.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  The plains of the lower Danube, 1073 A.C.E.

  “There are so many stars in the sky,” Treime sighed, leaning back on the soft grass. “Stars and stars and more stars and no Gaje! Can we stay here forever, Emilian?”

  Emilian emerged from the lake waters, his long, lean body glistening with sparkling droplets that reflected brilliantly in the moonlight. He was perfect, she thought. Everything she could have ever hoped for.

  He was also completely nude. She lowered her eyes as she caught sight of the most masculine part of him.

  He grinned at her, “We can stay here for a while, love.”

  Taking in her still-clothed body, his eyes narrowed playfully. “I thought you were going to take a bath?”

  Her face heated. “I changed my mind,” she mumbled.

  Emilian sprawled on the grass next to her, his arms behind his head. “Treime, you’re going to be my wife in less than a fortnight, will you not let me see you naked then either?”

  She shrugged. “If I don’t, what will you do?”

  His grin was merciless. “Then, I suppose I’ll have to find someone else who will.”

  She leapt to her feet and with her hand over her heart she cried out in outrage, “Over my dead body!”

  Emilian was up and on his feet lifting her into his arms. “Never that. You are too full of life to ever die.”

  Before she could stop him, they had both toppled into the water together. “Arugh!” She splashed water at Emilian. “Another dress ruined. Mami will kill you.”

  Emilian raised an eyebrow at her. “You’re going to tell her what we were doing?”

  Mortified by that very thought, she splashed more water at him, to which Emilian responded by pulling her flush against him and kissing her hard.

  Their bodies responded naturally to each other and their kisses quickly became heated, frenzied and full of passion. As Emilian’s hands began to explore the length of her body, she froze. She didn’t know whether to be excited or afraid.