What Cat Lost (The Last Life of Cat Book 1)

by Chelsea Thayer

  “Oh, I know,” her father said sarcastically. “You were trying to save her from Samuel Alden. Cathleen, I know the Alden family. I make deals quite frequently with Samuel’s father. They are decent, upstanding folks. To think that my own daughter would try to smear their son’s good name to make an excuse for sneaking out to a party is … well, it shames me.”

  “He tried to rape me!” Cat blurted out. “The night I tried to commit suicide, he tried to RAPE me!”

  Her mother looked up with terror in her eyes.

  “THAT’S IT!” her father shouted. “You are leaving for your entire senior year! I can’t believe you would stoop to telling these lies so that you won’t get into trouble! You have thirty minutes!”

  With that, he turned and stomped out. Cat crumpled to the floor in tears. They didn’t believe her. Her own father wouldn’t even listen to her.

  She felt her mother touch her shoulder, “Your father thinks this is best. I’ll start packing for you. Remember, you’ll be going to public school, so no need for designer clothes.”

  Cat continued to sob. She couldn’t believe this was happening.

  “Mimi will need your help on the farm. It’ll be good for you. It will help put all the luxuries you’ve had here into perspective. I’ll send the rest of your things in a week or two. This time away will be good for you … you’ll see.”

  Cat cried the entire time she was packing. She cried on the way to the airport. She only stopped crying when her mother pulled out Call of the Wild just as they came to a stop by the curb at LaGuardia.

  “What is this?” Cat was confused.

  “It’s your summer reading for Watuaga High. You’d better get started, since you start classes there next month,” her father answered, tersely.

  “How did you get it so quickly?” Cat asked. But the answer came to her before they responded. There had never been any deal. Whether she behaved herself or not, they had planned to send her to North Carolina all along.

  “When did you book this flight?’ Cat asked.

  Her mother was silent.

  “Two months ago,” her father’s voice was cool, “While you were in therapy.”

  “What about our deal?” Cat asked, looking directly at her mother.

  “Well, you broke that last night, didn’t you?” her dad responded.

  “Cathleen,” her mother looked up, “You can use this as your purse in Boone.” She handed Cat her old Longchamp bag. “Girls at Watauga won’t be carrying Louis Vuittons. It’ll only make you stick out.”

  Cat’s mouth hung open in shock. Not from her bag being taken away, that was the least of her worries, but from her life being ripped away. Just like Landon had been torn from her, so had everything else. She had nothing.

  “And we’ll be taking your iPhone, too,” her father added, removing it from the bag before her mother could hand it to her. “If you need to call, you can use Mimi’s land line. You need to get away from everything.”

  The driver had put her bags on the curb, in the rain. From the way her parents were glued to their seats, it was obvious they weren’t walking her inside.

  “Here’s your ticket,” her mother put it into Cat’s hand. “We’ll be thinking of you, Cathleen.”

  “Mmm-hmm,” her father added and turned away to face the other window.

  Cat took the ticket and got out. She didn’t say goodbye. She couldn’t open her mouth to say anything.

  They had planned this all along. The thought kept repeating in her mind. She felt betrayed on the deepest, most intimate level. She stood there in the rain as they drove away. She stood there watching her world shatter to tiny, irreparable pieces.

  There was no longer a way to put things back together. She was beyond that. Now, all she could do was start over.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Cat folded her arms across her chest. She had finished her story a minute or two ago, but she hadn’t looked up at Luke yet and he hadn’t said anything.

  I come with too much baggage, Cat thought, as she wiped her eyes with the sleeve of the sweatshirt she was wearing.

  Her throat was sore from talking and she felt that she had cried enough tears that night to flood a small village, but for the first time in three months, she felt like a whole person again.

  The sky was just beginning to lighten, Luke noticed, as he looked out the window. He still felt uneasy with the weight of the story he had just been told. He felt uneasy and he was pissed as hell. He stood up and marched to the one window in the room. His hands curling into fists and uncurling as he stared out at nothing in particular.

  His heart felt heavy for Cat. For all she had endured — the pain, the betrayal, the heartbreak of it all. She had been wronged by so many people. By her own parents, no less. Abandoned when she had needed them the most. Luke felt the anger inside of him burn at that thought. Then, he remembered what Samuel had nearly done to her and something inside of him snapped.

  “Damn it!” he growled as he punched his fist against the wall.

  Cat jumped. These were the first words he had spoken to her. It must all be too much, she thought. She didn’t blame him. She squeezed her eyes shut from exhaustion and opened them up again to stare hopefully at Luke. Who would want to get involved with someone who’d just gone through so many traumatic experiences? At their age, it was all about having fun, keeping things lighthearted, nothing too serious. None of this fit into that category.

  Cat quietly stood and walked towards the door. She would just wait in the car until he cooled down enough to drive her back to Mimi’s. She wished she hadn’t told him anything. It had been a mistake. A huge mistake.

  Suddenly, and without warning, Luke seized her hand just as she was reaching for the doorknob. In one swift and fluid motion, he gathered her into his arms. He didn’t say anything, but his touch told Cat everything she needed to know. He cared deeply. He accepted her. He felt her pain.

  It felt as though a thousand bricks had been lifted off her back; or like a corset that had been laced up too tightly, had finally been cut away. Cat could breath. She felt lighter than air. She hadn’t even realized she was crying until Luke pulled back and looked down at his now wet t-shirt.

  “I guess I make a good tissue,” he laughed.

  “Sorry,” Cat wiped hopelessly at her cheeks.

  She didn’t want to imagine what she looked like. Her makeup was probably running down her face in streaks, mascara and all.

  “Why were you trying to leave?” Luke held both of her hands.

  “I — I thought you were mad at me,” Cat began.

  “At you?” Luke looked dumbfounded. “Cat, after everything you told me, how could I possibly be mad at you?”

  “Well, for being so messed up. For the stupid mistakes I’ve made. For coming with so much baggage.” Cat was about to list off a dozen more things, but Luke held up his hand to silence her.

  “I wasn’t mad at you. I couldn’t be mad at you after that,” he said soothingly.

  “Well, punching the wall doesn’t exactly show me that you accept me,” Cat said with a hint of sarcasm.

  “Yeah, sorry about that,” Luke ran his hands through his short dark curls.

  Cat loved it when he did that.

  “I was mad … I am mad. But not at you,” he added quickly.

  “Go on,” Cat walked back towards the couch. Hand-in-hand Luke sat down with her.

  “Honestly, I’m pissed, Cat,” Luke looked at her with such intensity in his eyes. It matched the tone of his voice. “I wish I could go to New York and kick Samuel’s ass for what he did to you! I would rip his throat out, Cat. I swear to God!” Luke stood and looked ready to act on his claim. Cat touched his arm. He drew in a breath through his clenched teeth and relaxed some. “I wish I could tell your parents how wrong they were to abandon their own daughter. I wish I could show them
how good and genuine you are.”

  Cat smiled, “Luke, you’ve only known me for two days.”

  “And do you doubt what you know about me?” Luke asked her seriously.

  “No,” Cat was beginning to understand. “I’ve known you for two days, but I know you. You’re intelligent, passionate, and,” Cat wanted to say, “and I love you,” but she thought that would scare him away completely.

  “And?” Luke looked at her curiously. He had a twinkle in his eye.

  “And, I know you must be an artist,” Cat added, looking around the room. “Though I don’t know much about that yet.”

  Luke smiled. “You will.”

  He extended his hand to help her up.

  “Right now, I need to get you home, before Mimi wakes up and finds you gone.”

  Cat took his hand. There was so much more she wanted to say. So many questions she had for him. He knew her life story and she didn’t even know what his favorite … well, anything was.

  They rode back to Mimi’s in silence. But it was a comfortable silence, not like the tension that had been between them before. His arm rested easily over her shoulder. Cat scooted to the middle seat of his pickup truck and leaned her head on his shoulder.

  She was exhausted. And for the first time in months, she knew she would sleep soundly.

  Luke tapped her on the shoulder, “We’re back.”

  Cat must have dozed off. Silently, they walked hand-in-hand around the house. Cat climbed the ladder and Luke followed.

  “Would you like to come in?” Cat asked him hopefully.

  “I would fall asleep, Cat. And then, Mimi would skin me alive when she found us asleep in bed together … even if we hadn’t done anything,” Luke added.

  Cat blushed.

  “Get an hour or two of sleep,” he touched her cheek. “I’ll see you at church in a few hours.”

  Cat nodded. His touch made her breathless.

  Gently, he kissed her lips. Then he was gone, into the early dawn light. Cat spread out on her bed. She felt relief, and freedom, and exhilaration all at once. She felt happy. Closing her eyes, she smiled, knowing that this is what Landon would have wanted for her.

  If she only had one life left, she would live it fully.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The next two weeks were spent in utter bliss. Cat never thought she would describe getting up at six o’clock every morning to do manual labor as blissful. Even though she was spending every waking hour with Luke, it wasn’t enough. The time spent with Luke was like medicine to her soul. She felt love in the laughter that was so plentiful when she was in his presence. It was healing to her. They worked side by side. Oftentimes, Cat provided the entertainment with her lack of knowledge in farm related chores. She no longer minded Luke’s teasing. The loving manner in which he did it only made her find him more endearing. They worked in the mornings, went on runs together in the evenings, and stole a kiss whenever they could. Behind the barn, in his truck, in the Christmas tree fields. Cat felt like she was living in a country music song, minus any rolling around in the hay. Cat didn’t want another allergy shot. That wouldn’t be romantic.

  Everything was perfect. Well, almost everything. Luke had begun to open up to her, but whenever Cat mentioned his barn, or asked him about his artwork, he instantly became mute. He would change the subject or say that they would talk about it some other time, but then he never brought it up on his own. To top it off, Luke had asked Cat not to mention his barn or artwork to anybody. She had agreed. It’s not like she could really divulge any information. She didn’t know anything herself. The secrecy only piqued her interest further. She felt like a child wanting the toy she couldn’t have — and what she wanted was for Luke to open up to her. After all, she had told Luke everything. He would tell her about it when the time was right … she hoped.

  They had just walked in the house from trimming trees when Mimi called to them from the kitchen.

  “Catie, a package just arrived for you!” she hollered.

  “I bet Mom finally got around to sending the rest of my clothes,” she commented as they made their way to the kitchen.

  “You mean that closet full of clothes you have upstairs isn’t everything?” Luke teased.

  “Haha,” Cat smirked at him. “How am I going to make my name as the fashionista of Watauga High with only a few dozen designer outfits?”

  “You have a point there,” Luke laughed. “But I don’t think you have many outfits in that package.”

  Cat looked to where he had motioned and agreed. It was too small for clothes. Maybe a book or two, but no clothing.

  “I bet it’s an early birthday gift,” Mimi looked up over her copy of the Asheville Citizen Times.

  “What?” Luke exclaimed. “Cat, when is your birthday?”

  “What day is it?” Cat asked. The time had gone so quickly this summer, and in the midst of all the changes, she hadn’t even thought about the fact that her seventeenth birthday must be right around the corner.

  “It is August 12th,” Mimi nodded.

  “My birthday’s the 16th. That’s this Saturday! I honestly hadn’t thought about it.” Cat exclaimed.

  “And then you kids start school on Wednesday, the 20th,” Mimi added.

  “That’s so soon,” Cat hadn’t realized the time had passed so quickly.

  “Open your present,” Luke handed it to her.

  Cat accepted it, but she froze in place when she saw the return address label: ‘Mr. and Mrs. Jennings’.

  “What is it?” Mimi asked.

  “Cat, are you alright?” Luke looked alarmed.

  Cat couldn’t breathe. She had to sit down.

  “It’s them. His parents,” was all Cat could manage to get out.

  Mimi looked at Luke for further explanation.

  “Landon’s parents,” Luke said somberly.

  “I’ll just go to the living room and give you some privacy,” Mimi patted her on the shoulder as she made her exit.

  “I’ll be in the other room if you need me,” Luke said quietly, and turned to go.

  “No, wait,” Cat called after him. “Could you stay with me?”

  “Of course,” Luke seemed pleased that she had asked him to remain by her side.

  He held her hand as she tried to rip away the brown packing paper with the other.

  “I think I’m going to need both hands,” Cat smiled.

  Luke laughed and moved his hands to her shoulders and he stood behind her.

  Opening the box, Cat gasped. A small, shiny silver object had fallen into her lap. It was a class ring from Allen Stevenson. Landon’s class ring. Cat picked it up carefully as though it might burn her. Then, she peered into the box for some sort of an explanation or card.

  A plain white index card was all there was; and written in the unmistakably perfect penmanship of Mrs. Jennings were a few words: “I had it resized. He would want you to have it. Happy Birthday.”

  Cat began to cry. It didn’t say I’m sorry. It didn’t have to. The gesture said it better than anything else could have. Cat was forgiven. This gesture made Cat realize that she could now fully forgive herself.

  Luke bent over and wrapped his arms around her.

  “It’s nice,” he said as he slipped it on the ring finger of her right hand.

  Cat noticed he hadn’t placed it on her other hand. Maybe he could put another ring on that hand someday, Cat thought giddily. Then, she chided herself for getting too caught up in her daydreams.

  Cat looked at the ring and realized that she now had a piece of Landon with her always. It was comforting. She twisted it around on her finger and squeezed her eyes shut. There was such peace in knowing forgiveness. Like a prisoner whose cell was opened for the first time in years, Cat felt free.

  As part of their daily routine, she and Luke went
on a run after lunch. He said she was bound to be one of the best runners on the cross-country team. He said he could make her the best if she’d let him train her. If Cat would let him train her — that was the problem. Cat wasn’t fond of being told what to do, and neither was Luke. Those were the times when they fell back into pushing each other’s buttons. Gah! No one had the ability to make her smile or scream as quickly as Luke did it seemed. Cat was pretty certain he enjoyed pissing her off. In fact, she thought half the time he did it intentionally.

  “Sprint these last hundred yards,” he panted, as they rounded the last curve in the road.

  “Can’t,” Cat could barely speak. She was running out of steam.

  “Come on. Don’t give up! Push, Cat! Push!” He yelled at her, sounding much more like a drill sergeant than a boyfriend.

  “Arggh!” Cat groaned as she tried to push herself faster, but her legs had just had enough.

  She slowed down to a stop.

  “Cat, you can’t give up! You have to push through!” Luke continued.

  He was starting to get on her nerves.

  “Do you want to go to State? You could be the best! You can’t wimp out on me like that,” Luke reprimanded.

  “I don’t think I want to run cross country anymore!” Cat gasped, clutching her side.

  “Why not?” Luke asked, clearly affronted.

  “Because, I’m not so fond of Captain Luke,” Cat responded, mockingly giving him a salute.

  “You don’t want me to push you? Fine! See if you get any better on your own,” Luke glared at her.

  “I think running a 5K in twenty minutes is plenty good on my own, thank you very much Mr. I-run-in-under-seventeen-so-bow-down-and-worship-me,” Cat snapped.

  “I don’t see you bowing,” Luke snarled.

  “Yeah? Well, you won’t,” Cat turned her nose in the air and marched towards the house.

  “I think you should kiss my big toe and tell me I’m the best runner you’ve ever seen,” Luke caught up, wrapping her in a bear hug from behind and swinging her up over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.