by J. A. Owenby
“What?” I gasped. Asher had loved spending Daddy’s money.
“During that time, the money grew so even if Dad cuts me off. I’m solid for at least a little bit. I did it for us, babe. When I came crawling back to you, I wanted to be able to tell you’d I’d done something for our future. I mean ... if you’ll have me.”
Stunned, I remained silent for a moment while I attempted to understand everything he’d said.
“I’ve never told anyone I was going with you to the movie the night Brandon was waiting for me. Your name never came up, and I wanted to keep you out of it. But why were you late showing up? I waited in the parking lot for ten minutes. Couldn’t you have at least texted me you were running behind? If you had, I would have gone on inside instead of waiting outside by my car.” My tone showed no hint of the emotion I was really feeling. At this point, getting an answer from him was the only thing that mattered to me. “Why?”
Asher’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “I lost track of time. Rochelle started crying, and I caved and stayed with her until she was okay. I figured I’d slip into the movie and find you. I—”
A muffled cry escaped my throat, and I covered my face with my arm and sank down onto the table top. Hot tears stung my cheeks as they fell.
“I’m sorry, Mac. When I heard Brandon had kidnapped you ... It fucking wrecked me,” he whispered. “It’s all my fault. Please—Please, babe. I’m so fucking sorry.”
My body shook with my sobs. If he’d been there like he’d promised, my entire life would have been different. But he hadn’t. Once again, I felt Asher hadn’t had the guts to show up for me. Maybe in this instance I wasn’t being fair, but I couldn’t seem to separate logic from my emotions.
I peered up at him through my eyelashes and wiped my cheeks with the palms of my hands.
“I thought about you while I was tied up in the back of his trunk,” I said quietly. “I cursed you and pleaded for you to find me all in the same breath.”
Asher’s eyes grew misty with my revelation. “I’ll never forgive myself for not being there for you.”
I hiccupped and glanced away from him. Even though it was warm outside, a chill traveled through me as I hopped off the table, my sandals crunching the gravel on the ground. My gaze traveled up to his. Every emotion possible flickered across his expression. A long silence hung in the space between us.
“Mac, please. Can you forgive me? I love you so much, please don’t say we’re over.”
“You were so busy protecting Daddy and your fake fiancée, you failed to protect the one person you swear you love the most. Me. If there’s one thing I’ve realized since the shit with Brandon—I want more, Asher. I want a guy in my life who loves me for all my good and all my bad and continues to show up for me. I’m not interested in a yes man to Daddy, or someone who can’t commit to me.” I ran my hands over my face, attempting to regain my composure. “Asher, I’ll always love you. We have a history, but I don’t think there’s another chance for us. I’m sorry.” And with that revelation, the fog of anger and grief lifted from around me. With determined steps, I walked to stand before him, placed my hands on his shoulders and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek.
“Goodbye,” I said softly and walked away. My heart jumped into my throat. Asher had no clue how much I still loved him, but I already struggled with fitting in due to my unfiltered mouth and attention bouncing around faster than the Flash on speed. I wasn’t interested in being with someone who wasn’t sure where I belonged in his life.
“Mac, don’t say that. Give me a chance to prove to you I’ve changed. All I’m asking for is some time. I know you’re going through a lot, and—don’t make a final decision. Not tonight.”
My feet ground to a stop, and I turned back to him, my pulse rising. Maybe my past wasn’t going to let go of me after all.
“I’m going on tour with Hendrix and Gemma for a few weeks. We can talk when I get back,” I conceded.
In a few long strides, Asher stepped into me, pulled me against him, and brought his mouth to mine. His warm lips melted all of my resentment, and my pulse sped into overdrive. The tip of his tongue gently brushed mine, and as quick as it had started, the kiss was over.
“I love you. I’ll prove to you I’ve changed. Don’t give up on me yet,” he said in a hushed tone, his breath hot against my ear.
With that, he walked away and left me standing alone with only the insanity of my racing thoughts.
Chapter 3
“Mac!” I turned to see Gemma running down the hill. “What happened?”
I sniffled while my emotions ran rampant inside me.
“Are you okay?” she asked, grabbing my hand.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. I looked around, but Asher was already gone. Only his Beemer tail lights blinked in the darkness as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“Come on,” Gemma said, guiding me back to the picnic bench.
Glancing over my shoulder, I spotted Pierce, and a wave of safety washed over me. After the kidnapping, I rarely felt safe unless security was nearby. Gemma situated herself on the table, and I followed.
“I need a minute,” I said, attempting to wrap my head around what had happened. Even though my brain could process information at a million miles an hour due to my ADHD, it couldn’t do the same with my emotions. Glancing up into the star-lit sky, I gathered some courage to tell Gemma the truth about the events that led to my kidnapping.
“Don’t be mad,” I said, turning toward her.
“Why would I be mad?” She cocked an eyebrow at me.
“Shit. Because. I never told you ... The night Brandon took me ... Fuck.” I groaned and slapped my hands over my face.
“Mac, spit it out,” Gemma encouraged.
My hands dropped to my lap, and I huffed loudly.
“Asher had asked me to a movie. He said he had something good to tell me, so I’d agreed to meet him. He was late, and that’s when Brandon grabbed me. If Asher had been on time, Brandon wouldn’t have had the opportunity to drug me, toss me in his trunk, and take me to the nasty warehouse. There it is. I was supposed to be with Asher when Brandon showed up.” My shoulders slumped with the weight of my confession. Asher hadn't been the only one keeping secrets. Once again, he’d made me think with my heart instead of my head. And look where that got me. Lesson learned.
“Mac,” Gemma gasped. “I don’t know what to say. Had you two been meeting up with each other even though he and Rochelle were together?” Her eyes filled with compassion.
“Nope. Even if we had, it wouldn’t have mattered.”
“It always matters if someone else is involved. You’ve never been the type to support cheating.”
“And I totally agree, but there wasn’t anything really going on with Asher and Rochelle.”
“I don’t understand. Did they break up?”
“Gemma, you can’t tell anyone. I’m not trying to cause problems for Rochelle, she has enough already,” I said.
“You have my word.” Worry lines creased her forehead while she waited for me to continue.
“Rochelle is a lesbian. She and Asher have never slept together. If she admitted it to her family, she’d lose everything, and she was terrified.”
“Poor girl.”
I shot Gemma a look. “Really bestie? You’re feeling bad for her right now?”
“I’m sorry, Mac. You know you're most important to me, but for a second my heart went out to her. I think it would be agonizing to hide who you really are.”
“Not my problem,” I muttered, jealousy stirring inside me. It wasn’t like I wanted to be her, but she’d ended up with Asher.
“I know, but you just said you weren’t sharing the information in order to hurt her.”
My eyes squeezed closed as I fought down the ball of emotions that threatened to erupt.
“No, I’m not. It would be an awful way to live,” I replied, my throat tightening with the mere thought. Rochelle and I didn’t share
the same situation, but deep down, we both wanted to be loved for who we were. It was exhausting trying to fit in all the time and hoping someone might love you.
My chin quivered, and Gemma pulled me into a hug while I finally released all the pent-up anger and frustration from the last few months.
I cried against Gemma’s shoulder. “Asher chose to protect her secret over standing up to his father and being with me.”
“Oh, Mac. I’m so sorry, but he’s trying to make things right. He was stuck in a bad place, no money, and no say in the situation as a minor. And maybe this is also good news? I mean, Asher and Rochelle never slept together, right?”
I stared up into the night and chewed my bottom lip, blinking away my tears.
“Yeah. He didn’t lie to me about their sex life. He wants another chance ... I ... I don’t ... The timing really sucks, ya know?”
“I get it. Take your time Mac, there’s no rush. We’re heading out in the morning, and we can talk more about it then. Right?”
“Sounds good,” I muttered, wiping my nose with the back of my hand.
“Do you want some more time here or are you ready to go home?” Gemma asked.
“I’m not ready to go home, but I know Franklin wanted to spend some time with us before we leave.”
“I’d like to see him, too. However, you’re my top priority right now.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Gemma said, nudging me gently with her elbow.
“Thanks. You’re the best bestie ever,” I said, flashing her a grin.
“I think the tour will be good for you. It’s so hard to wake up every day in the city where someone assaulted you. I know when I came to Spokane ... when I met you and Hendrix, it’s when I finally started to heal. Maybe you’ll be able to take a deep breath, laugh, spend time with people you love, and get the hell out of here for a while.”
“It really helped you when you left Louisiana?” I asked. For some reason, I’d never considered how much it had made a positive impact on her until now.
“It changed everything, and it all started with you.” She smiled at me.
I barked out a laugh as I recalled the first time I’d met her. Although she wouldn’t admit it, my boisterous personality had scared the living crap of her. Not to mention I talked nonstop. It hadn’t taken long before we’d gotten used to each other, and now we were best friends. I’d never had a friend like Gemma, and we’d shared some dark crap. When it came down to it, she and Hendrix were who I trusted with my life.
“Thanks for coming with me tonight and sharing Pierce,” I said.
“Anytime. I’d have asked you too if I’d been stuck with Calvin.”
“You got the cool one.” I hopped off the table and brushed my backside off.
“Pierce has been very good to me, but it’s caused a bit of contention between Hendrix and me while we’ve been on the road.” She tucked a stray red hair behind her ear and stood.
My head tilted as I stared at her. “What do you mean?”
Gemma rolled her eyes. “Hendrix is convinced Pierce is in love with me.”
“What?” I exclaimed. “This is the juiciest shit I’ve heard in like, ever! Why are you just mentioning this now?”
Gemma cringed. “It’s not been the right time. Besides, we just got home, and I figured we’d full on catch up while on the road.”
“Wait. What? Pierce is in love with you?” I whisper-yelled. I loved Gemma, but she could be so naïve when it came to guys. She’d only ever been with Hendrix, and she still had some learning to do.
“Ugh. No, I can’t right now, Mac. Hendrix and I discussed this way more than I wanted to. I wish he would get it through his noggin’ that Pierce and I are good friends.”
“Pierce has friends?” I gasped, clutching my hand to my heart dramatically.
Gemma snickered. “I know, right? It’s the charming personality.”
I glanced at the Mercedes to find Pierce standing there, his intense focus trained on us.
“Gemma, best bestie of mine, if Hendrix says Pierce is into you ... I gotta side with my bro. He’s smart, and there’s this thing.”
Gemma folded her arms across her chest and glared at me.
“Give me a second to explain. Think about this for a minute. Let’s say you and Hendrix were at dinner, and the waitress winked at him and giggled. What would it tell you?”
“That it was time for me to slap her?”
My laugh split me wide open. She’d gotten a bit feistier since she and Hendrix had started their tour.
“But you’d know she wanted in Hendrix’s pants.” I muffled another laugh as Gemma’s nostrils flared. “We know when the skanks are hitting on our men, right?”
“Yes,” she replied, her foot tapping against the ground.
If I hadn’t been trying to make a serious point, I would have laughed. I’d not seen Gemma jealous before. I assumed the groupie sluts would push anyone’s buttons, though.
“It’s the same. Dudes just show it differently most of the time. If Hendrix has talked to you about it, something about the way Pierce looks at you or his body language is giving his feelings away. And honestly, you’re seriously gorgeous. What guy wouldn’t be into you?”
“Mac,” Gemma dropped her arms and sighed. “Think about it, though. Who protected me in Louisiana when Hendrix was hurt?”
“Pierce,” I replied.
“Who taught me to defend myself against assholes when they put their hands on me?”
“Pierce.”
“Who was the one that prepared me to take down Brandon when I exchanged myself for you?”
“Pierce,” I mumbled, clearly seeing where she was going with this.
“And who has continued to make sure I’m safe on tour?”
“Pierce,” I groaned.
“We share some of the darkest parts of my life together. We’ve bonded as friends during some intense and fucked up shit. I trust him with my life, and he’s proven to me on several occasions he’s worthy of it. And how many people in my life have I been able to really trust other than Ada Lynn, Franklin, Hendrix, and you?”
Dammit, she got me. “No one.”
“Can you see what I’m seeing? Pierce cares about me, I know that, but he’s not in love with me.”
I sighed. “I do understand your side, but I’m not going to dismiss Hendrix’s concerns, either.”
“Whatever,” Gemma said, chewing on her bottom lip.
“Are you mad at me?” I asked.
“No, I’m just tired of defending my friendship with him.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, flinging my arms around her. “We can talk more about it later. I’ll keep an eye on Pierce and let you know what I think about it another time. Alright?”
Gemma hugged me in return. “Me telling you not to worry about it is futile. I suspect you won’t be able to resist.”
I stepped back, nodded, and smiled. “Well, you know once I get something stuck in my head, I’m like a dog with a bone. But for now, let’s go home.”
“Sounds good,” Gemma said, returning my smile.
If not for Ada Lynn's empty chair at the table, it'd be a normal family dinner. My heart grew heavy at the thought of not seeing her sweet face or hearing her jokes and pearls of wisdom. She had been the one to get Gemma out of Louisiana and to college in Washington, where we met. Seeing the love between them was something special, and I’d quickly grown to love Ada Lynn, too. If my heart ached for her, I was certain Gemma's was broken. Even Dad had grown close to her.
“Are you excited?” Dad asked me, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Yeah, I definitely need a change of scenery.”
Hendrix’s chin tilted slightly in the air. He was sizing me up, assessing me to see if I was okay. I wasn’t, but he had his career and Gemma to juggle now. He didn’t need a clingy sister, too.
“It’s an adjustment, but a lot of fun,” Gemma said.
“Yeah, but you didn’t really kn
ow John and Cade. I went to high school with them before they formed the band. I already knew they were loud and obnoxious.” I grinned at Hendrix.
“Cade shaved his God-awful beard,” Hendrix said, chuckling.
“He probably wasn’t getting laid,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I mean good grief, you can’t walk around looking like you’re from Duck Dynasty and expect to get your wick dipped every night.”
Hendrix chuckled while Dad tried to hide his grin.
“John and I might have had something to do with it, too,” Hendrix said, a mischievous sparkle in his eye.
I leaned forward, my elbows on the table. “What did they do, Gemma?”
“They’re like a bunch of fifth graders, Mac. They have contests to see who can burp the alphabet, how much they can drink before they pass out, and other things I won’t mention.” She looked at Franklin and smiled sheepishly. “Anyway, there was shaving cream, Ben Gay, and other items involved in their practical jokes.”
“Oh,” I said, my lips forming a big ‘O’. “Did anyone mess with you?”
“Hell no,” Hendrix said immediately. “She’s off limits and all mine.” He reached for her hand and winked. A crimson blush traveled up her neck and cheeks. The poor girl was probably thinking about getting naked with Hendrix, and now everyone in the room knew from her reaction.
“Back to the beard,” I said, grinning.
“You were right, he was complaining he wasn’t getting any action,” Hendrix said, laughing. “So one night when he was passed out cold from drinking, John and I got the scissors and whacked it off. It was a mess when he got up the next morning. But we were tired of him moaning and whining all the time.”
“I tried to tell him if he wanted to meet someone, he needed to dial down the beard,” Gemma chimed in, “but for whatever reason, he didn’t. Guess Hendrix and John thought they’d help him out.”
I laughed. “That’s mean Hendrix, but it’s funny.”
“Yeah, he finally stopped whining and is back to his playboy ways.”