by J. A. Owenby
“Hope he wraps his shit up. I bet there’s some real skanks showing up backstage.”
“You have no idea,” Gemma said, her eyes cutting sharply in Hendrix’s direction.
He squeezed her hand, and my heart melted. Hendrix had always had women fall at his feet, but it hadn’t phased him. He’d never been a player like Cade, he wasn’t wired that way. I just hoped there were more guys like him out there.
“To be honest, Cade’s dialed things down a lot. I think all the women were fun, at first, but he’s chilled out about it.”
“Maybe he’s growing up finally.” Even in high school, he’d had a bit of a bad boy reputation, but at the same time, he was a decent person. John had been more mild-mannered where Cade liked to be the center of the party. Once they all started playing music together, they had something else to think about other than getting laid. It seemed to help. Honestly, I never cared what they did. They both had always been good to me when they hung out with Hendrix at Mom’s house. I was with Asher anyway.
“I’ll miss you all,” Dad said. “I’ve gotten used to everyone being around. It’s been really nice, actually.”
“It’s not forever,” I assured him. Although Franklin was Hendrix’s biological dad, I’d grown to think of him as mine as well. Even though he and my mom had only been married for eight years, he was more of a dad to me than my real father who had walked out on us when I was one. Franklin was an alcoholic, though. He’d been sober now for a few years, but it had cost him everything; his marriage, son, and the closest thing he had to a daughter. I was thrilled to see he’d stayed off the booze and had worked hard to rebuild his relationships with his kids.
“I know, but the house will be empty again.”
A feeling of dread spiraled through my chest. I knew what loneliness was like. We all did, and no one wanted to revisit it even for a little while.
“You can fly down to any of the shows,” Hendrix suggested. “We’ve added a few new songs since you’ve seen the last concert.”
“We’ve written a few more, too,” Gemma added.
“I can’t wait to hear everything!” I squealed, bouncing in my seat. “You two are amazing.” I sighed dreamily and flashed them a big grin.
“I’d love to see you guys again on stage, too. As much as I don’t want to, I need to make my way to bed. Wake me up before you all leave in the morning,” Dad said, scooting his chair away from the table. “I’ve got court first thing, so I’ll need to get up anyway.”
“Okay.” I stood and gave him a hug goodnight. He walked over to Gemma and placed a parental kiss on the top of her head. Hendrix stood and hugged him. Sadness flickered across Dad’s face.
“I sure am proud of you all.” He smiled before he turned and walked out of the room.
“Dammit,” I muttered. “Maybe it’s too soon, and I should stay with him. The last several months have been intense for all of us. You don’t think he’ll start drinking again do you?” I asked Hendrix.
“Unfortunately, there’s always a possibility, Mac. Even if we stayed in Spokane, there’s a chance. You can’t not live your life because you’re afraid he’ll pick up the bottle again. He’s an adult and has a good system and support group in place. You’re coming with us tomorrow. I need my sister with me, and Gemma needs her best friend.”
A smile pulled at the corners of my mouth while my focus bounced between them.
“Agreed,” Gemma said.
“If you think it’s alright, I will. I need to get the fuck out of here anyway.”
“Excellent, be ready to go by seven tomorrow morning.”
“Ha! I’m already packed. I’m rolling my ass out of bed and straight to the shower.”
“Oh,” Hendrix said, leaning back in his chair, his gaze traveling over Gemma. “You have the nice big shower in your room. Man, have I missed it.”
“Hey now, don’t discuss your sexcapades in front of me. Just keep it down for fuck’s sake. And yes, pun intended. The last time you two lived here, the walls were shaking with all the booty bumpin’.”
Gemma’s neck and cheeks flamed red. “I’m sorry. We had lost time to make up for,” she stammered.
“I was there, you don’t have to explain,” I said sarcastically. “But keep it down tonight and every night. It’s almost one a.m., which leaves only five hours to sleep, so I’m outta here. See you two tomorrow.”
“Night,” they both replied.
I stood, pushed my chair under the table, and headed toward the staircase. Heaviness clung to me with every step up the stairs. Maybe it would be better when I wasn’t alone. It sounded like the band had grown a lot closer, but I assumed it had something to do with the tight quarters and their career finally taking off.
My skin hummed with anxiety, and I rubbed my arms as I turned on my bedroom light and closed the door behind me. Leaning against it, I stared at my nightstand. Maybe tonight I could sleep without another Xanax and vodka. Shutting my eyes for a moment, Brandon’s sneer filled my mind, his hate filled threats ringing in my ears.
I balled my hands into tight fists then made my way to my nightstand and stash.
Chapter 4
The last thing I expected to see when we arrived at Hendrix’s tour bus was a guy’s naked ass mooning us from the doorway.
“Welcome back motherfuckers,” Cade laughed and pulled his pants up.
“Dude, in front of my girlfriend and my sister?” Hendrix asked bewildered. Gemma turned away quickly, attempting to maintain her innocence.
Cade spun around, his amber eyes wide and his smile faltering as he spotted us behind Hendrix. His chest and arm muscles flexed beneath his dark grey T-shirt while he ran his hands over his short jet-black hair. My attention traveled over his jawline, noting his beard was completely gone and now revealing a tanned face. In my opinion, Cade had always been gorgeous, but he was more like a brother than dating material. Not only that, I didn’t get involved with the players. Talk about inviting disaster.
“Shit, sorry man. I forgot about the ladies.” He hopped down the front steps and embraced me. “Good to see ya, Mac.”
I stood on my tip toes and hugged him back. At least his ass was a nice one and not all hairy. “You, too. Thanks for being cool about letting me tag along.”
“It’s good for Gemma. She really missed you,” he replied and tugged on one of my braids.
“Dude, seriously?” I glared at him as I flipped my hair behind my shoulder. His ornery grin was his only answer.
“Yes, I did miss Mac, and everyone can see why,” Gemma said dryly.
Cade and Hendrix chuckled as we all lugged our duffel bags up the metal stairs and onto the bus, which was currently parked in a high-security RV storage facility. Buses like this, all tricked out with every possible convenience, cost a mint, so when not in use Hendrix took no chances. He also wanted to make sure Brandon's family had no access to it.
We may not have verbalized it, but we all worried about the same thing—when would Brandon's father show up seeking revenge, and what were his evil plans? It was a horrible way to live, always looking over our shoulders. I reminded myself I was surrounded by people who would protect me. I was safe.
The faint scent of leather tickled my nose while I waited for everyone to move forward. The beige leather recliners had been cleaned, and all the surfaces including the kitchen had been polished. The rich brown hardwood floors gleamed in the natural sunlight that streamed through the windows. It was beautiful.
I noted the sizeable 4K TV mounted on the wall and thanked God I could watch YouTube and Netflix on my iPad. Who knew what the guys watched, but naked girls and football weren’t my ideas of good times.
Pierce remained quiet as he stood outside and guarded the bus entrance. It hadn’t occurred to me he would sleep on the bus with us. I was surrounded by three hot dudes while Gemma shared the bedroom with Hendrix. I couldn’t hide my grin. Most girls would kill to be in my position.
“Hey, hey!” John yelled
, bounding up the stairs behind me. “Welcome, Mac!” he said, smacking a sloppy kiss on my cheek.
“Dude!” I wrinkled my nose and wiped the moisture off my cheeks. “Was that necessary?”
John’s green eyes sparkled as he flashed me a cheesy grin and wrapped an arm around my waist. Before I knew it, he licked my cheek, his tongue flicking over my skin. He laughed hysterically.
“Shit, I’m with a bunch of fucking five-year-olds. Gemma was actually nice when she referred to you as fifth graders!” I shot John a nasty look and wiped my face off with the collar of my shirt.
He ruffled my hair with one large hand. “Glad you’re here. It will give me someone else to mess with other than Cade’s ass.”
“Oh, lucky me,” I muttered.
Everyone laughed as we reached the sleeping quarters and the guys flung their backpacks on their respective beds. It wasn’t lost on me that John was across from me and Cade directly above me.
John flashed his perfectly straight pearly whites at me, then his shoulders slumped forward, and his expression grew serious.
“Hey, I’m sorry about what you went through with Brandon. If you need anything just let me know.” Compassion filled his face.
“Thanks. It means a lot to me.”
“My mom said to tell you the same thing. Anything we can do, ya know.” He scrubbed his hand over his lightly stubbled jaw and nodded.
I’d known John as long as I had Cade. He had a really sweet side to him when he wasn’t being a pesky ass wipe. He’d filled out nicely after high school, but it was the combination of green eyes and blonde hair that had the girls drooling over him.
I scanned the sleeping quarters while Hendrix and Gemma continued toward their room. Although I’d seen the bus and beds before, I’d forgotten that only a curtain separated the bunks from the rest of the area. I mentally scanned my sleepwear selection and groaned inwardly. After Brandon had held me hostage, I’d found pajamas restrictive and had started sleeping in the nude. Shit.
“You alright?” Pierce asked, eyeing me.
“Yeah. I need to chat with Gemma.” I gulped and full on panicked as everything began to close in on me. I shouldn’t have been surprised the close quarters would ramp up my anxiety, but apparently being tossed in the back of a trunk at gunpoint would do that to someone.
Even if I slept in a shirt and undies, the best I had were thongs. One cheek peek out of the sheets, and a sleep induced kick at the curtain would open it. I’d be flashing everyone. Although I considered John, Pierce, and Cade friends, it was a new level I wasn’t interested in. Besides, they would never let me live it down. They were already going to be a handful to manage.
“Gemma!” I hauled ass to the back and pounded on their door.
“Mac? What’s wrong?” she asked, flinging the door open wide.
“Can we chat outside for a minute?” I squeaked.
“Babe, I’ll be right back,” she called to Hendrix. “Are you okay? You’re pale.” She grabbed my arm and led me past the guys who were all staring at me like I had the plague. “Ignore them,” she said under her breath. I followed her as we moved through the common area and out the door. I inhaled the fresh morning air the moment we were off the bus again.
“What’s wrong? Do you not want to go? We have time for Pierce to take you home if you need to.”
“No, it’s ... I want to stay. It’s just tight quarters with three big dudes, and I panicked. Which is new, ya know? Like, small spaces never bothered me before—Brandon,” I choked out. "Plus, I totally spaced and didn’t pack any appropriate pajamas. Well, that’s an understatement. I started sleeping naked after the kidnapping. I don’t know why it made me feel better to not have anything on. It sort of felt constricting, which probably sounds weird, and when I saw the beds—I freaked the fuck out. I’m probably not making any damned sense right now, but I need to borrow something to sleep in.”
“Oh Mac, it’s okay. I do get it. I have plenty of pajama shorts with cute tops. They might be a little tight across your chest since you’re bustier than I am, but you’re welcome to anything I have. All you need to do is ask.”
I nodded. “Yeah, cool, thanks.” I rubbed my forehead and peered at her. “Tight quarters with three dudes,” I muttered. “No privacy.”
“I understand, and I also know it’s not really about the guys, it’s about what happened. Listen, I have nightmares every night. It’s not going to go away any time soon. I’m fortunate enough I have Hendrix next to me to calm me down, but I’m assuming you’re dealing with the same. Insomnia, bad dreams, thinking you see Dillon or Brandon everywhere you look.”
Speechless for a change, I merely nodded. I’d not realized she was dealing with the same mental whiplash.
“Gemma, I know you disclosed to the police and FBI what Brandon did to you while he held you captive, but you and I haven’t ever fully dived into it. All I know is he tried to rape you, and you had enough self-defense training you were able to take him down … with your stiletto. Which is impressive as hell might I add.”
Gemma glanced at the black asphalt of the newly paved RV parking lot for a minute, her gaze slowly traveling back up to mine.
“I don’t know if we need to go into details, Mac. We both know what a monster Brandon is. I can take a good guess at how he tormented you, and I’m not sure I really want to know. All it will remind me of is that I should have been there sooner for you. I was late showing up to help you, and I struggle with it on a daily basis.”
“You can’t.” I shook my head. “No, don’t even go there.” I grasped her hand and squeezed. “The important thing is we’re both out of the mess, and we’re all alive.”
Gemma’s eyes grew misty and she nodded.
Maybe having her close by again would help both of us. If I could, I’d take on Gemma’s nightmares. She’d lived through enough, and until recently I’d been fortunate to not have to deal with a tragedy on this level. Silence filled the space between us.
“Well concerning the tight quarters, think of it like this if it helps,” she said, changing the subject. “It’s like—camping, sort of. Ya know, like if we were all in a cabin together. You’ll get used to it in no time. You’ll probably feel safer. You’ve got three bodyguards, and they obviously think the world of you. I mean, I was never greeted with a bare ass or sloppy kiss.”
I laughed. “Fucking hams.”
“You okay?” she asked me, rubbing my arm.
“I’m good. Thanks. No way in hell would I do this without you, though. I’m not sure how you made it the last month with them.”
“Right? It was a huge adjustment, and you know how private I am.”
“True. True. If you can do it, then I can too.”
“Ya know, we can always rent a car when we’re in a city we want to see and have Pierce drive us around. We’ll have some girl time, I promise. We’ll both need it desperately by then anyway. Just remember Hendrix and I are here with you.”
“I’m better. Thanks.” I took a deep breath and flung my arms around her.
“You’re welcome.”
“Ladies,” a middle-aged, light-haired, plump man said, approaching us.
My entire body went rigid. I didn’t know this guy. What did he want? Where was Pierce?
“Hey Mike,” Gemma said. “This is Mac, Hendrix’s sister. She’s joining us over the next few weeks. Mac, this is Mike, he’s the driver.”
Oh, thank God. I immediately relaxed. “Hi, nice to meet you. And thanks in advance for not crashing the bus and killing all of us.”
Mike’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re welcome,” he stammered.
Once again, my mouth had gotten the better of me, and I’d put someone in an awkward position.
“You’ll get used to her,” Gemma assured him, grinning.
“The instruments and luggage are all loaded, so let’s hit the road,” Mike said, boarding the bus.
“Let’s roll like a tootsie,” I said, finding my inner courage t
o get back on the bus and winking at Gemma.
We followed Mike up the steps, and the doors closed behind us. Cade had settled into a recliner and had his headphones on. Pierce sat in the seat closest to the door, obviously alert. It hadn’t dawned on me he would be nearby when I had my mini-meltdown with Gemma. I wonder if he heard the pajama predicament. Inwardly, I cringed as his dark eyes landed on me. I’d have to be more careful.
“Why don’t you unpack and put your clothes in the drawers beneath your bed, and I’ll grab some PJ sets for you,” Gemma whispered.
“Thanks.” I managed a smile before she left me standing there surrounded by massive amounts of testosterone.
My phone buzzed in the back pocket of my denim shorts. I grabbed it and groaned. Asher.
I know I said I’d give you time to think, but I miss you.
I proceeded to my bed and tossed my it down next to my duffel bag. There were three long drawers beneath it. I hoped it was enough. My cell buzzed again. Sighing, I pulled my bag to me and unzipped it, ignoring the additional text. There was no way I’d be able to sort through the situation with Asher if he was smothering me. But my curiosity won out, and I peeked at his message.
I’ll wait for you. I always have, Mac. There’s never been anyone else.
My heart stuttered. Dammit. How could he still make me feel this way even after everything he’d done? Not once had he stood up to anyone and fought for our relationship. Until now, I reminded myself. But was it too late? Had the damage been done?
My fingers danced across my keyboard with my response.
I need some time and space ... Please.
A row of heart emojis lit up my screen, but he didn’t say anything else.
The bus groaned and moved forward at a crawl. I located one of the windows near the beds, and a soft sigh of relief escaped me while we pulled through the security gates and onto the road.
First stop, Portland, Oregon. My stomach fluttered with excitement at the thought of leaving Washington and Brandon behind. I needed a change, even if it was for a short time. I’d never seen Oregon, so I hoped it was one of the places we had the time to stay for an extra day and sightsee. I’d have to ask Gemma what the schedule looked like.