Love & Consequences: A Love & Ruin Standalone Novel

by J. A. Owenby

  “Why should I tell anyone? Do you discuss any meds you take?” Tension snaked between my shoulder blades at where this conversation might end up. If he said anything to Hendrix or Franklin, it could get ugly. I’d never be left alone again.

  “I also know the nights you do sleep, you’re mixing the Xanax with alcohol. Mac, it’s a bad combination, not to mention dangerous.”

  My nostrils flared. How in the hell did he know what I had unless he went through my stuff?

  I leaned over the picnic table toward him.

  “Stay out of my fucking business. I won’t tell you again,” I hissed. “What I do is not up to you. You don’t live with my nightmares. You don’t even know what he did to me.”

  Pierce didn’t even flinch. “Tell me, Mac. You can trust me.”

  “Stay the hell away from me. I don’t want to see you or train with you.” I stood quickly, spun on my heel, and marched away from him. I stopped the moment a thought occurred to me, and I turned to face him again.

  “Hey, Pierce,” I said.

  Chapter 8

  “Yeah?” he asked.

  Slowly, I approached him again.

  “If you tell anyone about your suspicions that aren’t even accurate, I’ll go to Franklin and tell him you’re in love with Gemma. You’ll never see her again.”

  Pierce’s stoic expression never changed with my threat, but I suspected I’d gotten to him.

  “If you’re willing to threaten me, Mac, you need to consider the change in yourself already. Obviously you’re willing to hurt everyone who loves you in order to keep your secret.” He stood slowly, his gaze never leaving mine. “My job is to protect you and your family, no matter what the costs.”

  Dammit, I could have sworn I’d rattled him even a little bit.

  “You’d never see Gemma again,” I snapped.

  “And for some reason, you think it would be a bad thing?”

  “You’re impossible,” I hissed.

  Frustrated and pissed, I whirled around and made a beeline through the crowd back to the safety and air conditioning of the rehearsal.

  For a change, I was the one not interested in going out.

  “Come on, it will be fun,” Gemma coaxed while we walked from the rehearsal back to the bus. “There’s a great new club down the street, and we can go dancing after our performance. It will be nice not to have to hang around and meet people tonight, too. Besides, there are four other bands so no one will miss us. I need to have some fun,” Gemma pleaded and batted her long eyelashes at me.

  My shoulders slouched forward in defeat. She rarely asked to go out, which told me she really needed to blow off some steam. Maybe it’s what I needed too, but I’d been in a funk all day, and nothing sounded fun at this point.

  “For you, best bestie, I will.”

  “Thank you! It will be fun, I promise.” She threw her arm around me and chatted my ear off for the rest of the way back to the bus.

  The band had a shorter set since there were other groups lined up to perform for the night. The guys were all excited about taking a break and going out afterward. It had been a long time since I’d gone to a club. And unless Gemma had gone with the guys while on tour, I’m not sure she’d been to one yet. She was still a month away from twenty-one, so I suspected someone had hooked her up with a fake ID.

  “How ya doing?” Hendrix asked, tossing his arm around me as we all walked down the strip together a few steps ahead of the rest of our group. I’d never seen a city more alive at night than Vegas with the hotel lights, water show, and clubs. It was nuts.

  “Good. You?” I beamed at him, hiding all the darkness I really felt. Pierce’s earlier conversation buzzed in the back of my mind, and a jolt of panic shot through me. Would he tell Hendrix or keep my secret to himself? I slammed the door shut on the nagging thought and focused my attention back to Hendrix. “You’ve got to be super excited about how well the tour is going. You guys have sold out every show!”

  A lopsided grin spread across his face. “It’s been surreal.”

  “How’s Gemma holding up? This is a huge change for her.”

  “Ya know, she’s handling things really well. She’s working the crowd, and she’s not as jumpy as she was at the beginning,” he said while we dodged a drunk dude weaving in and out of the crowd, yelling for someone named Patricia. Hendrix shook his head and chuckled.

  “She’s my hero,” I said, peering up at him. “Everything she’s gone through, and she just keeps going. I swear every time I turn around, she’s tried something new and shed more of her old self.”

  “She’s amazing,” he said. “You do realize she wouldn’t be where she is now without you.”

  If I looked at Hendrix right now, he’d see through me and know exactly what I was feeling, how much I was struggling with the fallout from what Brandon had done to me. And he would be disappointed because I wasn’t as strong as Gemma. She’d never needed to rely on drugs to make it through the day no matter what was thrown at her. Here I was, letting my entire family down. They just didn’t know it yet. I gave him a half shrug and stared ahead at the couple in front of me. A tattoo of a scorpion wrapped around the girl’s neck, the tail ending in her short hair.

  Gemma’s giggle broke my attention, and I glanced over my shoulder. She, John, Cade, and Pierce were behind us. The guys were picking on her like a little sister. Well, except Pierce.

  “Wedding plans any time soon?” I asked Hendrix. A laugh escaped me as his eyes widened.

  “I’ll take that as a no,” I said, giggling. “I didn’t mean to throw you such a curveball, bro.”

  “Hopefully,” he replied softly.

  “Wait, what?” I stopped in my tracks. “Why haven’t you told me?”

  “Because—”

  Suddenly, my body lurched forward, and an arm slid around my waist, saving me from face-planting in front of everyone.

  “Gotcha,” Cade said, grinning.

  “Dude, watch where you’re going! You ran right into me,” I said with more irritation in my voice than necessary.

  “Don’t stop so fast then,” he replied matter of fact.

  I heaved a loud sigh and smoothed my hair back into place.

  “I didn’t mean to,” I said. It’s not like I could tell him why I’d stopped so abruptly, and since we’d been interrupted, I’d have to wait to find out more from Hendrix.

  My mood continued its downward spiral as we kept walking.

  I honest to God wondered if traveling had thrown off my period and I had PMS. Everything was pissing me the fuck off. Mentally, I reviewed my birth control pill pack. Nope. I was simply in bitch mode. I had Pierce and our earlier conversation in the park to thank for that.

  “We’re here,” Hendrix announced, pulling Gemma into him and kissing her gently.

  The outside of the club looked like a boring red brick building with no windows, but I knew from experience it was the inside that would be decked out.

  Hendrix and Gemma stepped in front of us, and we lined up behind them to get into the door of the club.

  “Sorry,” Cade muttered into my ear. I turned around, my attention landing on him.

  “It’s fine. I didn’t mean to stop so fast.” Guilt rushed over me for being so damned cranky. It really wasn’t Cade’s fault I was in such a shit mood. Even though his teasing was irritating sometimes, overall, he’d been a good friend.

  “Are you alright? I mean, you seem a bit …”

  My eyebrows rose, warning him to choose his words carefully.

  “Uh, un Mac like,” he said.

  “Un Mac like? What’s that supposed to mean?” I huffed and folded my arms over my chest.

  “Nothing bad. You’re typically laughing and chatty. You’ve not been yourself the last few days I guess.”

  He’d noticed my funk?

  My hands dropped to my sides. “Yeah. Thanks for checking. I’m just in a mood.”

  We moved up in line, and I dabbed off the beaded up sweat
on my forehead with the back of my hand.

  “If you’re hot now, wait until we’re dancing.”

  “We?” I asked, cocking my head at him.

  “Well, yeah. Why not?”

  “I figured you’d find some hottie and take off for the night.”

  He laughed. “Nah, not for the night. It will only take half an hour, then I’ll be ready to drink and dance the rest of the time.”

  I almost flipped him crap about it, until I recalled our conversation about his family. He really did need to go wild sometimes. Hell, I couldn’t begrudge him some fun. The thought had crossed my own mind the other day. A quickie would probably do my sour attitude some good.

  “ID,” the massive bouncer at the door demanded. I showed him mine and waited with Gemma and Hendrix for them to allow Cade, John, and Pierce in behind me.

  “I’m so excited,” Gemma said. “My first club,” she whispered to me.

  “Ah, I wondered.” I turned to Hendrix and smiled. “Guess you’re popping all her virgin cherries, huh?”

  “Mac!” Gemma said, smacking me lightly on the arm.

  Hendrix chuckled and pulled her in for a kiss.

  “Get a stall, man!” Cade yelled at them from behind me.

  “Bathroom sex? Seriously?” I asked Cade while we all made our way down through the door and a hallway that led to a two-level dance floor and multiple bars.

  “Holy shit!” I yelled to Gemma.

  “Wow!” Her mouth hung open as she scanned the gyrating bodies and packed club scene. Pink and green strobe lights slashed through the darkness, illuminating a large crowd of people and half naked girls dancing seductively in cages.

  A warm hand gently took hold of my arm.

  “Stay close to one of us tonight, and don’t leave your drink unattended,” John said.

  My heart softened with his words. It was almost like I had three brothers on this trip.

  “I won’t. I can stay with Gemma and Hendrix when you and Cade go off to get laid.”

  John shook his head. “Not tonight. I think I’d rather hang out with everyone and dance. Sometimes those hookups get old.”

  “I wondered if they did.”

  He nodded, took my hand, and waved to everyone while he led me to the bar.

  “What do you want to drink? It’s on me.”

  “John, you don’t have to. Really, I can buy my own.”

  “You can buy another time, tonight is on me.”

  I smiled at him. Whether he realized it or not, his company was a lifeline, pulling me out of a funk.

  “Vodka and cranberry.”

  “You got it!” He yelled over the music.

  John finally reached the bar and placed our order. I stood next to him and scanned the crowd. Gemma and Hendrix were already dancing, and Cade wasn’t far away. I couldn’t see who he was with over the sea of people, but whoever it was must have been short. I assumed he’d already picked out a girl to sneak off with. He seemed so casual about it all. Maybe I needed to learn a few things from him and do the same. There was a good possibility I wasn’t in a bad mood at all, I just needed to get laid. The more I considered it, the more likely it seemed.

  “Here ya go,” John said, handing me two drinks. “Bottoms up so we can get on the dance floor."

  “Thanks! To friends!” We clinked glasses. As he downed his shots, I drank both of mine a bit slower. Five minutes later and happily buzzed, I set my empty glasses on the bar, then John took my hand.

  I giggled while he pulled me to the dance floor. The bass resonated through the club as we found our spot and danced to “Never Forget You” by Zara Larsson, but this version was on steroids.

  Although John allowed an appropriate space between us, we were bumped and jostled until we were flush against each other.

  We laughed and moved with the flow. I wasn’t sure about him, but between the drinks and heat of the club, I felt almost euphoric. It was exactly what I needed, too. To forget everything and check my shit at the door.

  After another half hour, John walked me over to the edge of the floor where Gemma and Hendrix stood.

  “I’m going to grab some more drinks. You want the same?” he asked me.

  “Yeah, thanks!” I said, dabbing the sweat from my forehead. Thank God I’d had the foresight to wear jeans and a cute short-sleeved shirt. I wasn’t sure my deodorant was holding up anymore though, but I figured we were all hot and sweaty and no one would know the difference.

  The DJ slowed down the pace, and Gemma and Hendrix snuggled up to each other not far from where I was standing.

  “M’lady,” Cade said, approaching me from the side.

  My eyebrow arched suspiciously. “You want to dance?” I looked around but didn’t see any girls with him. “Oh, dude, you already got laid, didn’t you?”

  “A gentleman never tells,” he said, an ornery grin spreading across his handsome face.

  Although Cade had worked fast and hooked up, I hoped for the girl’s sake he wasn’t quick to pull the trigger. Ugh. Why the hell was I even thinking about that? It was so not how I wanted to imagine him.

  I laughed and took his hand. For some reason, he headed toward the opposite side from where Gemma and Hendrix were slow dancing.

  Once we found a space of our own, Cade’s hands gently trailed up my sides, then he positioned my hands around his neck and drew me closer. Even though I knew he didn’t mean anything by it, it was still intimate, and a chill shot through me with his touch.

  “Tight quarters,” he yelled over the music.

  I nodded. I’d spent the night next to Cade before, but this was different. We weren’t sleeping. I’d also never realized how much taller he was than me. I barely reached five-five barefoot. He was at least six-one, which meant my head could rest comfortably on his chest.

  I glanced around at all the couples making out in the darkness as the lights pulsated with the beat. Cade’s hand caressed my back and slowly trailed up my spine. I suspected his move was partly alcohol induced and partly habit. He probably hadn’t even realized what he’d done. But I noticed. My body definitely noticed. Holy crap. What was I thinking?

  Someone bumped into me, and the narrow gap between Cade’s and my body was now nonexistent. My boobs were full on smashed against him. The image of his rippled abs flashed across my mind while my body let me know it had other ideas next time I was in Cade’s bed.

  “You okay?” Cade asked, tightening his hold on me.

  Embarrassed, I looked up to meet his gaze. I inhaled quickly when his eyes darkened and the strain against his jeans became obvious. Oh God. I swallowed and attempted to gain control of my now throbbing hormones.

  “Yeah, it’s just super crowded in here.”

  I swallowed again, my throat feeling parched, and dropped my attention to the floor, but his arms remained around me. My hands slid down to his muscular chest, and heat ripped through me. Fuck. This could not be happening. No way did I want to fuck Cade … but. My mind told me no, but my body had other ideas. I’d not been with anyone since Jeremiah in Louisiana. Months.

  He adjusted his hips against mine, and a soft moan escaped me. Thank God no one could hear me over the music. There was no mistaking he was thinking the same thing I was.

  Cade bent down next to my ear, his hot breath tickling my neck.

  “You don’t have to sleep alone tonight,” he said.

  My head snapped up, and I searched his face for any indication he was joking. Cade was always messing with me, but this wasn’t funny. His amber eyes darkened, and his tongue darted out across his bottom lip. I wasn’t misunderstanding his suggestion.

  He wanted to play. With me. This was not a good idea in any way shape or form. Except ... I needed to get laid. Bad.

  Before I realized it, I was nodding. Crap. What had I agreed to? This had to be an alcohol-driven decision. Or was it? Cade was seriously hot, there was no denying it. And I’d known him for years. But no matter his reasoning behind it, the fact was he
was a player. On the other hand, there’d be no danger of feelings getting involved, right? It’d be a hookup and that’s it. Us. Playing. Naked. Heat swirled inside me, my core clenching with desire.

  “My turn!” John yelled and bumped my hip with his, nearly knocking me over. He handed me my drink and grinned.

  Cade scowled at him while John worked his way in between us. The music picked up, and Cade shoved his hands in his pockets and backed away. Before I knew it, John had his hand on my waist and was guiding me back toward Gemma and Hendrix.

  “Hey,” Gemma said, giggling. “I gotta pee!”

  “Alright, I need a break anyway!” I yelled at her. “It’s hotter than hell in here.”

  “Since you’re going to the bathroom, I’ll go with Hendrix to get some more drinks. Meet us back here, okay?” John asked me, gently squeezing my arm.

  “Stay together,” Hendrix said, eyeing us.

  I took Gemma’s hand and held it up for both of them to see.

  “Happy? Sometimes you guys are worse than our bodyguards!” I yelled before I tugged on Gemma, and we slowly made our way to the closest restroom.

  “Dayumm,” Gemma said once we’d emerged from the crowd, strolled down the long hallway, and into the ladies’ room, which was surprisingly empty. She fanned her overheated cheeks.

  “I know. I’m so hot.” I placed my drink down on the sink as we each stood in front of a mirror. I grabbed us some paper towels and ran them under cold water.

  “Eww, I do not smell good right now,” I said, sniffing my pits. I handed a wet paper towel to Gemma and wiped off my face and the back of my neck. “Not to mention massive humidititties.”

  “What?” Gemma asked, giggling.

  “Swoob.”

  I laughed while she stared at me with a puzzled expression.

  “Boob sweat, girl. Yours aren’t big, but I’m sporting a D cup, and the girls sweat.” I pulled on the hem of my shirt, creating an air flow up my stomach and cleavage.