Love & Consequences: A Love & Ruin Standalone Novel

by J. A. Owenby

  “I’m yours now, babe,” I replied.

  He placed gentle kisses across my chest and down to my breasts.

  “These are the best things God ever made,” he said, cupping them.

  I giggled. “Lucky for me you’re a tit guy. God knows they’re big enough.”

  He took me in his mouth, teasing my nipple. His hands traveled down my bare back and slid into the back of my running shorts, caressing my ass cheeks. In one smooth motion, he pulled my shorts and G-string down. I held onto his arms while I stepped out of them. Tugging on his T-shirt, I slipped it over his head and tossed it into the pile of clothes that were accumulating on the floor.

  “I’m also a pussy guy,” he mumbled, trailing kisses down my belly, over my hip bone, and between my legs. I gasped as his tongue danced across my clit.

  “Oh God,” I gasped. He stopped seconds later, and my lower lip stuck out in a pout.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Nothing. We have some space and we don’t have to be quiet.” An impish grin eased across his face.

  He stood, shedding his shorts and boxer briefs. There was nothing pretty about the male anatomy, and the females were even worse. But when you were really attracted to a guy, and in love with him too, their peen was the most magnificent thing ever.

  “They should use your dick as a mold for vibrators,” I blurted.

  Cade laughed and took my hand. “I’m glad you’re happy with the equipment.”

  “Very. One hundred percent customer satisfaction over here.”

  Cade lay down on the floor, his erection pressing against his stomach. I sighed, ready to be filled with every inch of him. Not to mention I could scream his name, and no one was around.

  “Come here.” He took my hand and guided me until I was standing over his face. “Sit down,” he ordered.

  My eyes popped open wide. I’d never sat on a guy’s face before.

  “Are you sure?” I asked. “I mean, can you breathe? Will you die of pussy asphyxiation? What if I’m coming, and I have no idea you’re struggling? Then I’ve killed my boyfriend, and the magazines will all read ‘Star guitarist suffocated by girlfriend’s twat.’ It’s not how I want us to be remembered. They’ll probably think I’m deformed or something. Like one of my lips was too big and plugged your nose.”

  “Mac!” Cade said firmly, talking over me and putting an end to my anxiety fueled ramble.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. New things scare me.” I sank down on his stomach, my shoulders sagging with embarrassment, frustrated with myself.

  “Then we don’t have to do it, but for the record I like it. I’m also strong enough to toss you off me if there were some problem, but I swear you’re not going to hurt me.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “I’m positive.” A grin spread across his handsome features. “Don’t apologize for rambling babe. I’ve known you for years, and I’m used to it. I also know it’s worse when you’re stressed.”

  “I’m so used to apologizing, Cade.”

  “No more. I mean if you’ve done something wrong sure, but don’t apologize for being you. Just remember, I fell in love with who you are. All of you. I’m well aware you struggle with ADHD, but it’s not what I see when I look at you. I see an amazing, smart, funny, loyal, beautiful woman. You’re full of fire, and you’re all heart at the same time.”

  “Cade,” I whispered. “You’re going to make me cry.”

  “I don’t want to do that unless they’re tears of happiness.”

  I nodded, unable to articulate what I wanted him to know. I reached for his hand and placed it over my heart. Closing my eyes, I imagined he could feel everything I felt at the moment; love, gratitude, belonging, and safety.

  “When everything in my world turned so hopeless, you were the light that broke through the darkness.” I peered at him, my heart racing with his touch.

  Cade swallowed visibly. “I’ve loved you for a long time. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. When the days are dark, I’m here. We don’t have to talk, just snuggle up to me, and let me love you.”

  I kissed the palm of his hand, then slowly moved down his body. My core rubbed against his throbbing cock.

  “Cade? I guess I should have asked this before we had unprotected sex, but I wasn't thinking beyond wanting you inside me ... have you ever gone bareback with another girl?”

  He placed his hands gently on my hips. “Mac, I know I’ve been around, but I’ve never once had unprotected sex. I’ve also gotten tested every six months. I realize my previous behavior was risky, but I’m clean—”

  Before he could say another word, I slipped my hand around him and slid him inside me.

  “I’m on the pill,” I whispered, feeling every bare inch of him slide inside me.

  His eyes fluttered closed while he raised his hips up and released a slow moan.

  I leaned forward, placing my hands on his chest. “I wanted to be the first girl you had sex with without a condom. We’ve both been with other people, but I want to cherish our time together in new ways we’ve not experienced before.”

  “Jesus, Mac.” He thrust upward, digging his fingers into my hips. “You’re my first,” he said, panting.

  “Cade,” I whimpered, leaning back and rocking against him. “You feel so good.”

  He sat up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

  “I love you,” he said, kissing me slowly. His tongue swept across mine and we found our rhythm.

  “I’m sorry, Mac,” he mumbled. “I’m used to wearing a rubber. You feel so good, I can’t hold on.” He bucked up, clinging to my hips as he released deep inside me. He eased his finger between our bodies and massaged my clit, still moving inside me even though he’d already come.

  “I want to watch you, Mac. I want to feel you clench around me and call my name. Tell me you're mine,” he said, still hard inside me.

  “I’m yours,” I said, rubbing against him. “Don’t stop. I love you.” Sheer ecstasy coursed through my body as I climaxed. My nails dug into his back and time literally stopped.

  In that moment, I completely surrendered to him. I gave him every part of myself and embraced him in return. For the first time in my life … I felt complete.

  “Wow, we perform tonight and then we’re headed back home tomorrow. I can’t believe it,” I said to Gemma. We had chosen to take a break on the bus before returning for the concert. The guys were drinking a few beers while Gemma and I sat on the couch. I’d made a strong screwdriver with Hendrix’s watchful eye, but my bestie had decided against any alcohol.

  “I’m ready. I love performing, but I know it won’t be our last tour, either. I miss my little cocoon with Hendrix and dinner at Franklin’s house in the evenings. Plus, you and I have multiple places where we can talk in private at home.” Hendrix and Gemma had their own place, but Franklin’s was still home to them.

  “God, I miss you guys living there, too. I know I see you all every day now, but you’ve been busy with rehearsals and performances. Sometimes I wish I could rewind time to before Ada Lynn died, and we were all together again at Franklin’s.”

  “I know. Me too,” she said, grief flickering in her bright blue eyes.

  “Tonight,” I hesitated, “is the first concert where I can say I’m Cade’s girlfriend.”

  Gemma smiled at me. “It’s great when we’re all together and we don’t have to share our men with the world, because man … sometimes I turn into a catty bitch when those girls rub their boobs on Hendrix. Everyone knows we’re together and they do it anyway.”

  “Dammit. I’m going to have to beat the hell outta some skank hoes, aren’t I?”

  Gemma laughed. “I sure as hell want to sometimes, but Hendrix takes care of it really fast. I’m sure Cade will do the same.”

  An ache spread through my chest. What if he didn’t? What if he still portrayed himself as a player for the attention?

  “It’ll get easier. The more Cade prove
s to you he’s serious, the less you’ll stress. Maybe …”

  “Ha, thanks, Gemma,” I replied. “I guess it’s one of the consequences of falling for a famous singer, huh?”

  “Yeah, but in my defense, I had no clue who Hendrix was when I fell in love with him. You, on the other hand, had full disclosure.”

  “Ha! Yes, I did.” I wiggled my eyebrows at her.

  She giggled. “How’s the … ummm, well … we discussed sex with Jeremiah, so I guess Cade isn’t off limits?”

  “Are you asking me about his penis?” I asked, fighting off a fit of giggles. Gemma was the most conservative person I knew when it came to sex, but it had to do with her past. Although I wanted to encourage her to talk to me, I also knew it was a sensitive topic for her.

  The poor girl turned fifty shades of red.

  “Well, not his … parts necessarily,” she coughed into her hand, glancing at him. “But is he good? Are you happy? I mean … ya know, does he take care of you first? Or is it all about him?”

  I barked out a laugh, managing to gain everyone’s attention. Cade raised his eyebrow, flashed me a smile, then returned to whatever the guys were discussing.

  I wiggled in my seat and faced her. “I can’t explain it, Gemma. In every way possible he’s the most generous guy I’ve been with. I don’t mean just in bed, but with his words, his actions, his vulnerability. I never had that with Asher or Jeremiah. Maybe we were too young and naïve, I don’t know, but this is different. It’s like I love him from a different part of myself.”

  She grabbed my hand. “Mac, when it’s the real thing it’s almost unexplainable. I’m so so so happy for you guys,” she said, flashing me a huge smile. “No one deserves it more than you.”

  I pulled her into a big hug and held onto her with everything inside me.

  “I love you, bestie,” I said.

  “I love you, too, Mac.”

  There was nothing better in the world than having a best friend by your side when you fell in love.

  Chapter 21

  The stadium had sold out both nights. My heart sank a little that we were on the next to the last night of the tour, but I was also ready to have Cade to myself. At the same time, I’d be returning to the city where Brandon had kidnapped and assaulted me. I was literally split in two about returning.

  Since I was part of the band, so to speak, I always had first row tickets. It was fun pretending I was a groupie for a few hours, too. It wasn’t public knowledge Cade and I were together like Gemma and Hendrix. Not that it mattered. It seemed like some girls always enjoyed the challenge of trying to steal someone else’s guy. Although I hated that petty bullshit, it would also test Cade’s loyalty. I’d see first-hand how he handled the overzealous fans, and if his feelings and everything he’d said to me were for real.

  The band spread out across the stage and opened with their most popular, upbeat song. The crowd immediately hopped to their feet and started clapping and dancing.

  “Holy hell, they’re so fucking hot!” The girl next to me said a little breathlessly. “If you had your choice who’d you fuck? I mean, one night with any of them, who would it be?”

  Even though I knew it was part of the deal, my body bristled.

  “I don’t know. They’re all drop dead gorgeous. What about you?” I asked while jumping up and down and keeping the beat to the song.

  “Cade. Definitely Cade. I mean, Hendrix is super-hot, but I’m not into the long-haired dudes. John is pretty hot too, but Cade is delish. I’d drop on my knees in a heartbeat and suck his dick. I have every intention of doing exactly that too. I have VIP tickets,” she said with a condescending smirk.

  I stood still, my eyebrows knitting together with her words.

  “Did you know he has a girlfriend?” I asked, eyeing her.

  “Who cares? These guys don’t. They’ll cheat on their wives or girlfriends. All it takes is a good hand job.” She laughed like she had an inside secret.

  “Really?” I said, jealousy rearing its ugly head.

  “Yeah. They don’t care or respect anyone. It’s all about their dicks.”

  “I’m Cade’s girlfriend,” I stated firmly.

  “What?” she said, blinking a few times as though something was in her eye.

  “I’m Cade Richardson’s girlfriend,” I repeated.

  “Oh my God. You had me going for a minute. You’re hilarious. We both know Cade wouldn’t touch the likes of you.”

  I sighed. Any further conversation with this girl was a waste of time. She wouldn’t believe the truth if it slapped her upside the noggin. Gemma was right, this fight was up to Cade and how he handled the fans, but it still didn’t stop me from verbally sparring with her.

  “I’m not kidding. I’m his girlfriend,” I repeated.

  Her eyes traveled over me skeptically.

  “No way,” she said, waving me off like I was a pesky bug.

  "I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you. Catch up, girl,” I said. “There’s more to these guys than you’re giving them credit for.”

  “What a bitch,” she replied, sneering at me.

  We’d see who the bitch was once we were all backstage. Maybe I’d block her at the door along with her friends.

  Sweaty and tired, I made my way to the VIP room where my friends were.

  “Hey,” I said to Pierce. He nodded and let me in.

  “Hey, babe,” Cade said, greeting me the second I stepped into the room. He wrapped me in his arms and kissed me.

  “You were amazing,” I placed my hands on his chest and peered up at him.

  “We sounded good?”

  “Better and better,” I replied, trailing my hands over his stomach and slipping my fingers into the back pockets of his jeans.

  Pierce opened the door, and the fans rolled in. I stepped back, but Cade grabbed my hand. I frowned at him.

  “I want you next to me. Then there’s not a single doubt in your mind how I handle the ladies.”

  “Cade, are you sure?” I asked. I might not like it, but he also had an image to maintain with his fans, so even though I wasn’t ecstatic about it, I was alright with a little flirting.

  He pulled me into him and laid a searing kiss on me. “Soon, the entire world will know I’m yours.”

  My heart melted on the spot.

  “Oh, you weren’t kidding?” I turned to see the girl that had been sitting next to me in the front row. Her eyes were filled with disbelief as she glanced from me to Cade.

  “No, I was serious,” I smirked, then walked away and let Cade do his job. I’d allow the skank to fangirl over my boyfriend. At some point, I’d have to learn to trust him like Gemma did Hendrix.

  I leaned against the wall and folded my arms over my chest while he took pictures with gorgeous girls and signed autographs. I wasn’t sure how Gemma dealt with it. What helped was watching the girls’ faces when Cade mentioned he had a girlfriend. Some of them pushed anyway, and I snickered more than once when they realized he wasn’t going to give in.

  Several hours later, I had a little more confidence about Cade’s and my relationship. Pierce ushered the last few fans out of the room, and we all visibly relaxed.

  “Let’s get the hell out of here,” Hendrix said, wrapping his arm around Gemma. “We’ve got one more night, so let’s get some sleep and make it a hell of a show.”

  We all high-fived, then dragged our exhausted asses back to our temporary home on wheels.

  I snuggled up to Cade in his bed and released a contented sigh. Even though I’d had to deal with a fangirl who wanted to get in my boyfriend’s pants, overall it had been a good night.

  “You did an amazing job on your solo,” I whispered, snuggling up to him in his bed. I traced my fingers across the smooth muscles of his chest while we talked.

  “Thanks. I couldn’t have done it without you,” he said, placing a sweet kiss on my forehead.

  “It’s strange being on this side of you. I don’t mean in
your bed, but as your girlfriend versus just a friend. I know it sounds weird, but I might have gotten a bit pissed at a girl in the audience. I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with all of this. To me, you’re Cade. I’ve known you for years. I mean, you’re the guitarist in a famous band, too, but you’re still Cade,” I said, hesitating. “And, well, my Cade?”

  He shifted in the bed and rolled over toward me. “Don’t you doubt it for a minute. You’re mine, I’m yours. Don't you think I go a little nuts when I see guys ogling you? You have no idea how many random dudes I’ve wanted to murder during this tour. I don’t want anyone else. I realize the only thing that will prove this to you is time, but you own my heart, Mac.”

  My lips brushed across his, and I kissed him gently. “I’m scared,” I admitted. “I’ve given you everything I have, and you can snap me in two within seconds.”

  “Oh babe, I don’t want you to be scared. Anytime the doubt creeps in your mind … remember, I’ve loved you for years. If anyone can bring me to my knees and destroy me, it’s you.”

  “I don’t want to break you, Cade, I want to be the person who brings you to life in a way you’ve never experienced before. I want to complement and support you. I want to be the yin to your yang. Ha. Sorry, that was totally cheesy.” I rolled my eyes at myself.

  Cade shook his head. “No, it wasn’t. I feel the same about you. I love you so much.”

  I rested my hand on top of his. “I love you, too,” I whispered, staring at him. “I’m going to miss this most of all when we go home.”

  “Me, too,” he said. “We’ll figure it out, though.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise,” Cade said, reassuring me.

  The day flew by with preparations for the performance. The clear, brilliant blue sky and warm temperatures that hovered in the upper eighties were perfect for an outdoor concert.

  We all gathered on stage and Hendrix discussed last-minute changes with the band. Cade slipped his arm around my shoulders, and I nestled into his side as naturally as if he’d been made for me. “I think I’ll hang out backstage tonight. Well, behind the curtain anyway,” I said to Cade. “I don’t feel like hearing the girls talk about which guy they want to screw.” I wrinkled my nose and crossed my arms over my chest.