Love & Consequences: A Love & Ruin Standalone Novel

by J. A. Owenby

  Cade’s expression changed in slow motion while he realized what I’d offered him.

  “I told you I loved you, and I meant it. I would be willing to take you with us. At the same time, because I love you, I can’t ask you to make that kind of sacrifice for me.”

  Cade’s eyes glistened as he stroked my hair. “It’s all or nothing then?”

  I nodded. “I’m so sorry. For both of us. My heart was literally ripped out of my chest when Franklin talked to us this afternoon. All I could think about was seeing you, and how I couldn’t ask you to do this for me. At the same time, I don’t know how I’m going to make it without you.” I hiccupped.

  Cade wrapped me in his arms and rocked me as our tears flowed together. “I don’t know how to get through this … I’ve lost John, and now there’s a good chance I’m losing the love of my life, my best friend, and my career all at once.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, kissing him. “Make love to me, Cade. If this is our last night together, I want to remember it in your arms.”

  He leaned me back onto the bed and kissed me deeply as he took me to heaven and back.

  The rain pattered against my window, waking me the next morning. For a brief moment, my mind recalled the amazing sex I’d had with my boyfriend the night before, then reality came tumbling down around me.

  “Cade?” I called out to him.

  His place in bed was cold. Had the idea of me leaving been too much for him and he’d left without telling me goodbye? I slipped out from under the covers and grabbed my shorts and shirt off the floor. I dressed and hurried out of my bedroom.

  Ruby’s voice carried through the living room, and my bare feet padded against the soft carpet while I ran toward the kitchen.

  I rounded the corner, nearly smacking into Franklin as he was strolling out.

  “Whoa,” he said, raising his cup of coffee up to keep it from spilling.

  “Hey,” I said, peeking around Dad. My heart stuttered when I saw him. His smile lit up his entire face, the flecks in his amber eyes flashing while he talked with Hendrix. Their laughter filled the kitchen. What was going on? Had yesterday been a nightmare, and I’d not had to tell my boyfriend we were over?

  “Are you alright?” Franklin asked, worry lines creasing his forehead.

  “Yeah,” I nodded, my eyes landing on Cade again. “Are you? I mean, yesterday was pretty crappy.”

  “It was, but we’ll have more information this afternoon. Hang in there and know we’re family. We’ll stay together.”

  “Fuck.” I grimaced. “Sorry. What about Mom?” Panic shot through me. How in the hell had I forgotten about her? “Dad? She can come with us if we go right?”

  “It will be up to her, Mac.”

  “This whole thing sucks. How am I supposed to leave half the people I love behind?”

  “Try not to worry about it right now. Spend the day with Cade, and we’ll meet after Gemma’s appointment. I’ll have time to talk to your mom by then, too.”

  I swallowed the ball of emotions that threatened to erupt inside me. All I needed to focus on right now was being with Cade.

  “I’ll try.”

  “I’ll be in my office if you need me.”

  “Thanks, Dad,” I said, pushing up on my tiptoes and kissing his cheek. “I love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  And I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt Franklin really did love me. There was no difference between Hendrix and me in his eyes. He may not have been my biological father, but he considered me his daughter.

  Cade glanced up and gave me a tight little wave.

  “Morning,” he said, standing and giving me a gentle kiss. “Did you sleep well?”

  “Yeah,” I said, smiling up at him. “Hey,” I said to Hendrix, joining them at the bar.

  “Are you hungry, Mac?” Ruby asked, bringing over fresh biscuits, gravy, sausages, and scrambled eggs.

  “Oh, you know what I’m like when I’m stressed!” I cried, grabbing a biscuit and taking a bite. “Mm, melt in my mouth yummy. What would I ever do without you?” My words stopped short as my focus bounced between my brother and Cade. My mood immediately plummeted. “Ruby, I love you. Thank you for taking care of me.”

  She halted in her steps toward the stove. “Thank you. It means the world to me. I’ve worked for families that didn’t care, but you all … you’re my family.” She said, fisting her hand against her heart.

  I blew her a kiss and returned to eating my biscuit. If I didn’t, I’d lose my shit in front of her. I didn’t dare look at Hendrix or Cade. I’d fall apart. How were we supposed to leave everything behind? We had a fantastic life except …

  “Where’s Gemma?” I asked, finally realizing she wasn’t with us.

  “She’s training,” Hendrix said, his mood growing serious.

  “I suspect nothing too high impact?”

  “Yeah, at least for now anyway.”

  I nodded. “Is she scared?”

  Hendrix leaned his elbows on the table and steepled his hands together. “She’s terrified. And, she won’t say it, but she’s hoping she’s not pregnant.”

  “Hendrix, I love you, but I can’t blame her. You guys have plenty of time. The band is finally taking off, and I think she’d really resent being at home taking care of a baby.”

  “She’d come with and so would the baby. Bands with families do it all the time.”

  “Yeah, but considering what she went through … I think she’s afraid she wouldn’t be able to protect her bambino.”

  “Me too.”

  I grabbed his hand. “I know I can be a brat sometimes, but I love you and Gemma so much. Please don’t take it the wrong way if I don’t want her to have a baby right now.”

  “I don’t think she would choose not to carry it, but you’re right. I guess we’ll have to see.”

  My heart broke for him. “I’ve been there. I know how hard this is. Let me know if I can help with anything.”

  “Thanks.” He patted my hand and stood. “Her appointment is in a few hours, and I’ve got some stuff to do before we go.”

  “Let me know the second you hear.”

  “I will.” Hendrix leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

  “I thought you left me this morning,” I said around bites of my breakfast.

  “Nope. I came down to spend some time with my best friend while you slept.”

  I paused mid-chew. “This morning allowed me a glimpse into what my life will be like without you,” I whispered.

  “Not now,” he said. “We have today. I don’t want to lose that. Please.” His voice was soft and pleading.

  I nodded, unable to articulate how much my heart was breaking.

  “I have a day planned for us,” Cade said, sipping his coffee. A smile eased across his handsome face, and his gaze flickered with desire.

  “Yeah?” I asked, grinning at him. “In bed? In the shower? On the floor? On my desk?”

  Cade chuckled. “All of the above. You and me, naked. But more than that, I want to hold you. I need you in my arms, Mac. I need to hear your heartbeat, I need to hear my name on your lips, and I need to be able to keep today with me for the rest of my life.”

  Now I understood what people meant when they said they'd found their soulmate. Cade was mine, I knew it for certain. How could I watch him walk away forever and not fall apart?

  “I’m done,” I said, tossing my fork down. “Let’s go. I don’t want to waste another minute.”

  Cade stood and reached for my hand.

  It seemed the days I wanted to last forever flew by, and the days I wanted to fly by dragged on for years.

  By four in the afternoon, we were all on pins and needles, waiting for Gemma and Hendrix to return from their appointment. I almost felt bad for her. She had a full-on audience lying in wait and ready to jump her.

  At four thirty, the front door opened, and Hendrix and Gemma walked into the house hand in hand.

  I released
Cade’s fingers and jumped off the couch.

  “Am I going to be an aunt?” I asked.

  Chapter 31

  It was bad enough waiting for your own pregnancy results, but when an entire family’s future hung on the balance, it was crazy.

  “No,” Gemma flashed a sheepish smile. “It was a false alarm and a faulty home pregnancy test. The doctor said the stress and travel most likely threw my cycle off even though I’m on the pill. I’m so sorry I scared everyone.”

  Hendrix pulled her into him, kissing the top of her head. I collapsed on the couch, crying. the relief I saw in Gemma's face, or because the whole ordeal had stirred up memories of my own pregnancy and how devastating the experience had been. Cade pulled me against him and gently rubbed my back. He knew what this meant. We could make a decision concerning the Witness Protection Program based on what was right for us, not what was best for an innocent child.

  “I’m not going to lie,” Franklin started. “I’m relieved. Under the circumstances …”

  “We agree, Dad,” Hendrix said. “It’s a bad time.”

  “I don’t even know if I want kids,” Gemma whispered. “Franklin, I might never give you grandkids. At this point I don’t know.”

  I wiped my tears away while Franklin walked toward her. “Gemma, you’ve overcome so much, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not wanting children. This decision is between you and my son, and I’m supporting you both. It’s a huge life changer.”

  “Thank you,” she said, glancing nervously at my brother.

  “So where does this leave us?” I asked.

  “Let’s all sit down,” Franklin said, settling into the brown, leather, wing-backed chair across from the couch. Gemma and Hendrix picked up and moved a few chairs closer so we could all face each other. It was crazy to think this moment, this conversation, had the possibility to change my life forever.

  “I spoke with your mom, Mac. She’s on board with whatever we decide.”

  “Whoa, you two would be in each other’s life again,” I said, unable to stop my grin.

  Franklin raised his hand, stopping any additional thoughts I had on the subject.

  “She made it clear it would be for you.”

  “Oh.” I frowned, sinking back into my seat. Cade squeezed my hand.

  “It would be sort of cool to have you two back together,” I muttered.

  Franklin cleared his throat and paused. “I’d like to know what you all are thinking. Hendrix?”

  My brother gripped his girlfriend’s hand and took a slow, deep breath. “We want to stay, Dad. We feel if we run, it will encourage Brandon’s behavior. We’ll be touring with extra security, and we understand the chances we’re taking.”

  “Gemma? How do you feel? Are you in agreement?”

  “Yeah, I’m with Hendrix,” she said.

  “Mac?”

  “I want to stay and take this motherfucker down.”

  Franklin barked out a laugh.

  “Are you sure you’re up for the fight? He’ll be released in three months. That may seem like a long time, but it’ll fly by fast. You’ll have constant protection, and no privacy.”

  “Yeah, I get it, but I’m not willing to give up my life because of him and Dillon. I want to fight. I want to win. And I want to stay in Spokane. This is home, Dad.”

  Franklin hesitated and took a deep breath. “Are you sure you’re not basing your decision on Cade?”

  “Sir, if I may?” Cade said, leaning forward.

  “Of course, Cade.”

  “I had a conversation with Pierce earlier today, and he said I could also take Mom and Missy. I’m on board with the program.”

  “What?” I squealed.

  He turned toward me. “I told you, I’m all in. Whatever it takes. You’re stuck with me.”

  Before I could stop myself, I threw my arms around him and peppered his face with kisses.

  “I love you,” I said.

  He rested his forehead against mine, “I love you, too, babe. I meant it when I said I’m not going anywhere.”

  “That tells me a lot about how you feel for my daughter,” Franklin said, “Thank you.”

  “Thank you, sir,” Cade said.

  “I’ve watched Hendrix and Gemma’s love deepen over time, and honestly, I don’t think anything could tear them apart. You two may not be there quite yet, but I recognize the same signs. It’s a rare gift to find your other half. Don’t throw it away like I did.”

  “I won’t,” Cade replied, his expression stern.

  “This is it then? We’re not leaving?” I asked, my voice filled with hope.

  “I need each of you to understand that in three months, you won’t be able to use the bathroom without security tagging along. Brandon will be back in Spokane, and you will all be in danger. Can you live with that? Is it really what you want?”

  Silence filled the room as my focus fell on Cade. He nodded. I looked over at Hendrix and Gemma. They nodded.

  “Dad, it’s up to you. What do you feel is right for our family?” I asked.

  “I’ve never run from a fight, but I won’t lie, this is one I’d run from,” he admitted, frowning.

  When your badass attorney dad admits he’d take off in the opposite direction and hide, it startles you to the core.

  “What? You’ve taken every one of your cases head-on. You’re not a coward,” I leaned forward on the couch. “Are you telling me this is the one case that has you rattled?”

  “Yeah,” he said softly. “Dillon isn’t someone I take lightly. He tried to murder my family. He shot my son, my future daughter in law, and he killed John. I’m afraid we’ve met our match. There’s nothing worse than burying your child,” he said, his voice cracking with the weight of the memory. Kendra, Franklin’s youngest child had only been four when she died.

  I hopped off the couch and wrapped my arms around him. “This is different. You’re different. Forgive yourself,” I encouraged. “We have.” My attention drifted to Hendrix. From the obvious pain on his face, I knew his thoughts were with his little sister, Kendra. John wasn’t the only one who should still be with us.

  And for the first time in my life, I watched Franklin Harrington break down and cry.

  “I’m so glad your bandage is off,” I said, trailing my fingers over Cade’s chest.

  “Are you okay with the decision not to go into the Witness Protection Program and stay in Spokane?”

  “Mmm, so much better now that I know you’re beside me for the long haul.”

  He rolled over in my bed, facing me. “I would have gone with you, Mac. I would have put my family in the Witness Protection Program for you. I love you that much. But I didn’t want to influence your decision. You had to do what’s best for you and your family.”

  “Thank you. You’re part of my family now.”

  “I know my history with girls has been … active, but I don’t want you to doubt how much I love you.”

  My hand slipped under the blankets, wrapping around his thick erection.

  “Show me,” I whispered.

  “Come here,” he said, tugging on my arm.

  He slid down in the bed and guided my naked body over his face. His arms wrapped around my legs as his tongue worked magic on me as I sat on his face.

  And for the first time, I was comfortable enough with him to try this position.

  It had been a long time since I’d woken up happy and content.

  “Morning,” Cade said, kissing me.

  “Morning,” I replied sleepily. This was the life, waking up in the arms of someone you loved.

  “I don’t want to leave, but I need to get home.”

  “Mmm, I can’t handle you leaving me every day.”

  Cade kissed the tip of my nose. “I know, but we’ll be on the road again soon, and I’ll be all yours.”

  I laughed. “Not really.” I tilted my chin up and kissed him. “Will we ever have our own space? One we’re not afraid we’ll be murdere
d in?”

  Cade cupped my chin. “Don’t say that. Not a day goes by that I don’t worry I’m going to lose you.”

  “I’m sorry. I …”

  Cade’s mouth crashed down on mine. “I love you.”

  “Promise?” I asked, knowing it was a silly question.

  “Always,” he said. “I need to go.”

  Even though I wanted him to stay, I also needed to be supportive of his family, but my heart left the second Cade walked out my door.

  “Sup, bestie?” I asked, strolling into the gaming room later that morning.

  “Hey,” Gemma said, patting the seat next to her on the leather couch.

  I plunked down and smiled at her. “I still miss our college days.”

  “Me too,” she said, grinning. “We had some long conversations, huh?”

  “Yeah, but I think it’s those talks that build lifetime friendships.”

  “Me too,” she said, leaning her head on my shoulder.

  “Are you happy you’re not pregnant?”

  She looked up at me, sadness evident in her expression. “You won’t tell anyone?”

  “Nope, never. It’s between us girls,” I swore.

  “Mac, I don’t know if I’ll ever want kids.”

  “Gem-ma,” I said, slapping my leg. “Do you understand not every female on this planet wants little rug rats running around and it’s alright? There is nothing wrong with it.”

  “Maybe. But Hendrix … I’d give him anything. I love him so much.”

  I sighed, trying to figure out the right thing to say to her.

  “I don’t want kids,” I said. “I love Cade with all my heart, but kids … not in my plan. I’m not sure where he is yet, and I know we’re young, but …”

  “Me either, but I know Hendrix does,” Gemma said.

  “Honestly? I think all that matters to Hendrix is he wakes up in your arms every day. If you don’t want kids, it’s okay. You need to give yourself permission to not want them. I realize society thinks women need to procreate, but shit … I don’t want to, and we shouldn’t be pressured into having kids.”