by BJ Wane
I am leaving you with one last command as your Master, beloved. Grieve if you must, but not for long. Then open your eyes and heart to Master Dax, see what you have been too blinded by your love and commitment to me to notice before.
Yours always,
Master Kurt
Krista stood on wobbly legs, unable to stem the steady flow of tears rolling down her face. Odd how the heaviness around her heart had eased as she’d read her husband’s farewell to her. His eye-opening confessions didn’t change how much she’d loved him, nor did she resent any of the things he’d done to see she would be taken care of. How could she fault his love for her? She couldn’t help but still wish he hadn’t left her the way he had. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t researched everything about ALS and didn’t know every detail of the slow deterioration in store for him. She’d known how difficult suffering those indignities would be for anyone, but especially for someone who thrived on being in control.
Tires rolled to a stop outside, followed by the slam of a car door. Her heart leapt and butterflies of excitement fluttered inside her. Forgetting how she’d left Dax, she flung open the front door, but it was Alessa who took one look at her face, and ushered her inside and over to the sofa with a soft-spoken demand.
“Tell me what happened.”
For the second time that day, Krista crumbled. “I d-don’t know wh…ere to begin, or-or how I f…eel or what to… to do.” Leaning against her, Krista thought to ask, “Why aren’t you at work?”
“Because you’re more important. Spill, and don’t leave anything out while I pour the wine.” With a quick squeeze, Alessa released her and padded into the kitchen. She returned with two full glasses and the bottle. Handing Krista one, she stated, “What’re you waiting for? Talk.”
With a watery laugh, Krista sipped then said, “You’d make a good Domme.”
“No, I wouldn’t.”
That quick denial was worth delving into later. As best she could, Krista related the events of the day, then handed Kurt’s letter to Lessa to read for herself, trusting her friend with the contents.
“Huh, so I wasn’t the only one who noticed the hot doctor only looked at you a certain way,” Alessa said, looking up from reading the letter.
“He’s a Dom, it’s in his genes to look at submissive women in a certain way,” Krista excused, too afraid to believe Dax really did care deeply for her in fear of being let down again.
“Yeah, well he came out of his jeans for you, and he’s never done that for any other hospital employee, and God knows most of the women let their interest be known. Seriously, think about it, Krista. You told me yourself how unresponsive you were to that jerk at the club, then how fast you reacted when Dax interfered. I don’t know anything about your lifestyle in that area, but that has to be a sign feelings are involved, doesn’t it? Otherwise, it’s just sex, and wouldn’t matter who was touching you as long as they hit the right buttons.”
“First, you’d know more about my lifestyle if you’d go with me and second, I don’t know about other people, but for me, I have to admit the possibility that I need there to be a special connection before I can give a man my total submission. It had been that way with Kurt.” And, if she looked back hard enough, it had always been that way with Dax.
Refilling their glasses, Alessa smirked. “I can tell you’re finally seeing the light at the end of your tunnel. Now, the question is, what’re you going to do when you walk into it?”
“What can I do?”
“Mmm, good question. Let’s give it some thought over another glass of wine.”
Laughing, feeling better than she had all day, Krista lifted her glass to toast Alessa. “I’ll drink to that.”
Pulling through the wide double gates, Dax drove at a slow pace down the tree-shrouded lane bisecting the older cemetery plots from the new. He hadn’t been here since he’d returned from overseas, but the only anniversary of Darci’s death he’d missed visiting her was last year while he’d been gone. Cruising to a stop, he sat a moment in the peaceful surroundings. Lush green grass provided a bright blanket for the grey headstones. Colorful flower arrangements dotted the sweeping vista and, sliding out of the car, he picked up his own contribution to add to the scenery. Traipsing between graves, he expected to see the two vases attached to his sister’s headstone empty, but the silk array of bright sunflowers caught him off guard.
Stooping, Dax brushed his hand over the engraved wording: Darci Ann Hayes, Beloved Daughter and Sister. He still couldn’t believe his parents had had the gall to put the word Beloved on there when they’d spent more time arguing with each other than paying attention to their two children. That was how they’d missed all the signs of heart disease their daughter had been born with.
After stuffing his flowers in with the others, he sat on the small, ornate stone bench he’d purchased when he’d opened his practice and finally had the money. Rubbing his hand over his face, he dredged up the painful memory of Darci’s death and the months of releasing his anger at his parents in as many destructive ways as he could. It surprised him they’d even noticed the nights he came home too drunk to walk, or had cared when the cops caught him joyriding in a ‘borrowed’ car. He’d been so blind with grief and so filled with fury over their neglect, all he could think about was lashing out until they hurt as much as he.
Dax had never wanted to hurt that much again, but here he was, his heart torn to shreds over losing Krista, even though he’d always known there could never be anything lasting between them. He’d come close to answering her call this morning, just to hear her voice. But why torture himself? She probably wanted an explanation, something to make her feel better, but he didn’t have one to give her. Hell, he’d never been able to understand the strong hold she’d always had on him.
“I thought I’d find you here. It’d help if you’d answer your phone.” Sean sat down next to him, his grey eyes reflecting sorrow as he gazed at Darci’s headstone.
Somehow, Dax wasn’t surprised at Sean’s interruption. “Did you ever think I didn’t want to talk to you?”
“No. You’re good at avoiding those you love who’ve hurt you, but since I’m not one of them, then you have no reason to shun me.” Waving his hand toward the overflow of flowers, Sean said, “Looks pretty.”
“They’re not all mine. I don’t know who put out the sunflowers. They were her favorite.”
“I suspect your parents know that. Have you seen them yet?”
Dax whipped his eyes to his friend and bit out, “Neither of them noticed how she had trouble exercising, the way she’d always be out of breath, or her poor weight gain. What the fuck makes you think they’d know something so inconsequential as their daughter’s favorite flower?”
“Like I said, you’re good at not talking to—”
“Cut the crap. I don’t love my parents, and you know it,” Dax insisted.
Sean sighed, as if Dax’s comment pained him. Well, that was too bad. “We all loved, or love our parents, Dax, regardless of our piss poor childhoods and their less than stellar job performance. Everyone makes mistakes. You can either forgive and move on, or let them continue to drag you down. What happened between you and Krista?”
The quick change of subject was just like the shrink but still caught Dax off guard. “Who says anything happened?”
“I figured something did since she called me about an hour ago and asked if I’d be willing to meet her at Chains tomorrow night. I asked about you, but all she said was you’re refusing to talk to her.”
“Well, it didn’t take her long to move on, did it?” he snapped, unable to keep the irrational, jealous bitterness from his voice. Dax’s gut clenched thinking of Krista turning to someone else, which was ironic since he’d wanted her to do just that when he’d left. But that was before he’d had her for himself.
“If it irritates you so much, why aren’t you talking to her?”
Dax hated Sean’s calm, patient tone as much as the reasoning b
ehind his prying. But since his friend didn’t know the circumstances surrounding the complicated on-again/off-again relationship he battled with Krista, he couldn’t fault him. “You’re an irritating son-of-a-bitch, you know that?”
“Yeah, I hear that a lot,” Sean returned with wry humor. “Like I said the other day, you’re in love with her.”
There was no point in denying the obvious. “That about sums it up. I denied it while she was married, ran from it after I contributed to Kurt’s death, and have tried to fight it because of that in the last few weeks. Nothing’s worked.”
Rising, Sean advised, “Ask yourself if she’s worth the risk, then why don’t you try the one thing you’re so bad at? Talk to her. Just like with your parents, you might be surprised with what you hear.”
Dare he hope she’d been trying to contact him today to forgive and forget? If so, Dax would have to decide whether that olive branch would offer enough hope they could build something special between them without his past actions eventually returning to drive a permanent wedge between them. Talk to her. Standing, he gazed down at Darci’s headstone again and thought of all the time she’d been cheated out of and how short life really could be. Is Krista worth the risk of even more heartache? Oh, hell yes, always had been. He would talk to her, but in such a way that he’d know for certain if she truly meant what she said.
Pivoting, he called out to Sean, who was almost to his car. “Hold up, Sean!” Trotting over to him, he said, “Bring her to the yacht instead of the club. I’ll meet you there.”
A slow smile curved Sean’s mouth. “Will do, bro.”
Chapter 14
Krista hopped on board the yacht, her heart pounding with trepidation, her palms sweaty with the struggle she still battled over: her decision to move on without Master Dax. It had hurt—she couldn’t believe how much—when she thought about submitting to another Dom and imagined the future without hearing Master Dax’s deep voice commanding her, feeling his body controlling hers. Kurt’s stark admission he was desperate enough to end his life with more painful, drastic measures he’d known would’ve added to her devastation exonerated Dax, in her mind, of any wrongdoing. She knew her husband, and had been aware of his despair at the thought of her seeing and dealing with the worst part of his disease. If there was any blame to be laid at someone’s feet, it would have to be hers. She’d lived with him, knew him better than anyone else and should have noted just how desperate he’d become.
After spending a restless night in indecision, she’d woken yesterday morning aching to talk to Dax, to hear him out, to be with him again. His refusal to answer her calls and texts added to the weight of guilt crushing her. Since she’d already burned her bridges for employment at the hospital by phoning Shelly and quitting without notice after running out on her shift, she didn’t even have that connection any longer. Tired of his stubborn silence, Krista had spent a good portion of the day dredging up her anger, replaying the numerous times he’d backed away from her while keeping that huge secret from her. Deciding she wasn’t willing to go back to the lonely, pathetic mess she’d been before he’d agreed to be her temporary Dom, she’d dug up Sean’s number, vowing to move on regardless of how much it pained her to do so.
Soft rock was the only sound resonating around the playroom, which gave her pause as she entered and saw Master Sean was the only one there. Rising from his slouched position on the curved sofa, he strode toward her, his eyes pinning her in place as effectively as a command would. Okay, I’m not dead inside. Her body’s slow warming proved that. Now, if she could just focus on that instead of how she wished it was a pair of green eyes caressing her with blatant approval, and a slightly leaner frame she would be yielding against soon. A sudden cold chill swept her, erasing the warmth when she thought about this Dom possessing her the way Dax had.
“Relax, Krista. Nothing will happen you don’t want to tonight.” As Sean held out his hand, she accepted the offer she knew would become an order if she refused, and followed him over to the fucking chair, determined not to take a step backward.
Eying the contraption, she worked to swallow around the lump lodged in her throat as she pictured herself strapped on it, legs spread over the gap in the seat, her orifices put on display, open and ready for use.
Wasting no time, Master Sean ordered, “Strip,” then turned away to retrieve something from a cabinet on the far wall. Scanning the empty room, she hesitated, wishing there was at least another couple here, as she’d expected when Master Sean called her back with instructions to meet on the yacht instead of the club. She’d been excited at the change of venue and a spark of hope had ignited, thinking Dax would be here. Had she accepted so readily because she’d hoped to get Dax’s attention by arriving with one of his friends? If she didn’t yearn so much to talk with him, ache so badly to work things out, that thought would have bothered her, as she’d never been the type of person to resort to such wiles to get attention.
“Problem?” Master Sean asked as he walked back toward her carrying a long-handled spanker in the shape of a small, red silicone hand, displeasure written on his face.
“I’m sorry, Sir. I’m a little nervous as I was expecting others to be here.” Krista’s fingers fumbled with the tie on her peasant blouse.
Sean nodded in understanding. “More noise, more people, more distractions from what you’re doing—and with whom.”
She looked away from the knowing glint in his eyes and his accurate perception. “Something like that.”
“Look at me.” The stern whiplash of his tone whipped her gaze back to face his steely-eyed look. “Decide, Krista. Strip or give up.”
Master Sean’s deliberate choice of words worked as he’d intended, and were just what Krista needed to goad her into obeying him. Pulling her blouse off, she said, “I’ll stay, Sir.” After shimmying out of her skirt and panties, she laid her clothes on a small table off to the side, the air-conditioning raising goosebumps along her flesh.
“I’d better get to work warming you up before you either bolt or turn blue,” he teased with a crooked smile. “Sit.” He pointed to the chair with the spanker, a gleam in his eyes to now match that grin.
He knows what he’s doing. The thought flitted through her head as Master Sean worked with quick, deft efficiency, cuffing Krista’s wrists on the arms, strapping her thighs to the sides, then securing her ankles to the legs, rendering her immobile and at his mercy. Panic threatened to come up in a ball of nausea when he leaned over her and covered her eyes with a black silk blindfold, shutting her in darkness.
A hand gripped her nape as she heard the click of the door opening and Master Sean’s growl, “Breathe,” whispered in her ear. Her heart beating a mile a minute, Krista sucked in a deep breath that released with a giddy whoosh when she recognized the deep voice whispering in her other ear.
“I need one word from you, little one, before I take over for Master Sean. Do you forgive me?”
Krista heard the pain in Master Dax’s voice, felt the rigid tension in his taut body, and answered without hesitation. “There’s nothing to forgive… Master.”
Sean and Dax exchanged startled looks, both aware a submissive only referred to a Dom as Master without attaching his name if she belonged solely to him. “Your sub, Master Dax.” Sean pinned him with his intent gaze, daring him to deny it.
Dax couldn’t believe it would be that easy. Just like visiting his parents that morning and seeing their ravaged faces from not only losing Darci, but thinking they’d lost him too then, after hearing how they’d been seeing Sean for counseling, forgiving them and agreeing to move on from past mistakes. Taking the spanker Sean handed him, he replied in a shaky voice he did nothing to disguise. “Thank you.” Nodding, Sean walked out without another word, leaving him with his dream come true. Looking down at Krista bound in the chair, holding her breath for his next move, his blood surged in a hot rush to his groin with one thought.
Mine.
“That was more t
han one word, girl.” Stroking the silicone hand over her puckered nipples, he looped one nipple ring around the pinkie and tugged, drawing a gasp from her. Releasing the jewelry, he slapped the hand on the inside of one thigh. “I’m through running, Krista.” Another slap on her opposite leg. “I’ve wanted you far too long.”
“You… you’re the one who refused to talk to me… Sir.”
With a flip of the switch on the side of the chair, it tilted back, leaving her lower body at the perfect angle for fucking. Dax flicked the spanker against the fleshy mound of her breast as he released his cock. “My mistake, little one, which I won’t make again.”
“Because Master Sean won’t let you?” she bravely questioned him.
“Because I won’t risk losing you again.” Dropping the spanker, Dax braced his left hand on the back of the chair by her head and leaned over her. With his right, he worked the loop on a ridged, silicone anal dildo over his erection to fit snugly around the base, attaching the anal probe under his cock to jut out at the same angle. The vibrating butterfly wings sitting on top of his shaft were an extra bonus for her.
Dax’s words reverberated inside Krista and increased the dampness dripping from her pussy that started as soon as she heard his voice. Then he was probing between her legs, the smooth crown of his cock head nudging her gaping sheath with a much narrower, lubed prod at her anus. Ripples of anticipation danced under her skin as pleasure blossomed.
“Tell me you want me,” Master Dax demanded as he plucked at a nipple.
“Take off the blindfold. Please, Master.” How easily that title rolled off her lips, as easy and pleasurable as the way his next push breached her pussy and back hole.
“I’m going to have to do something about this new penchant you have for forgetting who’s the boss.” Dax lifted the blindfold and Krista’s vision filled with his dark, taut face, his eyes blazing with green fire. He appeared to be struggling to hold himself in check. “Tell me you want me,” he repeated with a deeper surge inside her.