by D E Boske
“They made me the teacher,” he replied. “I was only a Journeyman, Reny. He should have known the difference. The two are easily confused with Alchemy novices. He was a master, Reny. Those students… Even though they hated me, I protected them. Those I was able to save thanked me profusely by telling the Mages their truth of what happened that day; that I was the cause of the terrible events. I saved their lives and they repaid me by blaming me for the destruction!” He was livid, his hands clenched tightly at his sides.
“I was tortured for days. They brought in Mages that had a reputation for making others talk. I wouldn’t break. I refused to admit to something I did not do. If I was to be condemned, then I damn sure better have done it.”
“What did they do to you, my love?” she asked, voice breaking, as tears leaked from her eyes. She felt his pain, not only of the students’ betrayal, but the guilt he carried for not being able to save them all.
“They took wood chips and hammered them under my nails,” he began and Renlyss cried out, her hand covering her mouth. She wanted him to continue regardless of how horrible the story was. She wanted to know and he needed to talk about it. He had suffered for so long, holding onto the anger and hatred, the pain and jealousy.
“When that didn’t garner a confession, they beat me bloody, healed me, then beat me bloody again. They starved me, refused me water, smashed my hands in a vise. They skinned me, healed me, then hammered nails into my body. They bound me so that I could not move and threw daggers and hand axes at me. I was pinned to the wall, blood pooling at my feet. When they removed the daggers, I collapsed onto the floor. The blades were the only things keeping me upright. I lost track of how many days they tortured me, my memories blending together into a schizophrenic mind fuck. When none of this worked, they raped my mind, insinuating themselves into every hidden corner that was mine. Of course, they found nothing because I was innocent.”
“Couldn’t they have started with that? It would have saved quite a bit of time and pain,” asked Renlyss.
“That’s precisely why they didn’t. The Order enjoys inflicting pain, Reny,” he said softly. “And I have had the absolute pleasure of being at the receiving end far too many times to count.” He smiled a sad smile, but could say no more. The memories scraped his nerve endings raw and he didn’t have the strength to relive any more right now. He saw tears spilling from Reny’s eyes, her heart breaking, deeply touching him. He took her in his arms and comforted her. She felt silly because she should be comforting him.
“Oh Darian! The life you’ve had to live. I’m so sorry, my love. Had I known I never would have made you relive that horrific event. I feel ashamed. I just want to be close to you. To know you. I mean, really know you, but I’m beginning to understand that that will only happen if a heavy price is paid. And you would be the one to pay it. The pain that these memories cause you is palpable. I can feel your pain and sorrow, Darian. It’s like a living thing.”
She wept for him; for the abuse he’d suffered at the hands of those who were charged with his protection. Her heart was shattering and it took her a long time to understand that he’d opened himself to her and that she was feeling his emotions. She clung to him, letting him hold her until her cries subsided. She felt raw, empty, and sick to her stomach. Without warning, she pushed him away and vomited.
Renlyss understood Darian much better now, why he didn’t speak of his time in Piri-Tuma. She couldn’t blame him. He needed her, she knew, and this time she wouldn’t leave no matter how ugly it got.
“Reny, are you okay?” he asked, rubbing her back. She nodded, but didn’t speak until she was able to brush her teeth vigorously. She threw herself in his arms and kissed him, her hands exploring him, not caring who saw. They both needed this, needed each other in this moment. As her tongue sought his, he froze the camp. They needed a bit of privacy.
All the while, dark eyes watched them closely.
26
Later that night as they sat around the campfire eating, Renlyss sat with her head on Darian’s shoulder, humming contentedly. He smiled at her and wrapped his arm around her tiny waist, pulling her close. She snuggled into him, sighing blissfully and he laughed.
“What’s so funny, Mage?” she asked, a bit sharply.
“Oh nothing,” he replied, still chuckling.
“Hrm, I know how to make you talk,” she said slyly.
“Oh yeah?” He looked so happy and content that the breath caught in her throat.
“Mhmm,” she replied, sliding into his lap.
He’d given up trying to stop whatever this was between them. They could not remain apart, it seemed, no matter how hard they tried. He captured her lips, his talented mouth making her instantly wet and he hadn’t even used his tongue yet. His kisses were slow and she felt his fingers in her hair as he drew her near. She moaned against his lips and met his seeking tongue with vigorous attention. Gods! Her panties were soaked and he hadn’t even touched her yet. How can he do that? It was so easy for him. His hands rested on her ass, stroking lightly as he kissed her. She began to grind into him, becoming frustrated when he made no move to relieve her of her clothing.
“My, aren’t we feeling amorous tonight?” he joked.
“Why aren’t you?” she asked, kissing his earlobe and sucking on it. He groaned aloud and bucked involuntarily and she giggled.
“Do you not find me appealing, Mage?” she asked sweetly, as she nuzzled his neck.
“Vazaalhen! You know that I do, babe,” he whispered, as his lips claimed hers once more. “I want to…” he whispered into her ear and she ground her hips into his, hoping to urge him to do something dangerous, but he didn’t. She couldn’t understand how he could resist her. She knew he was far worse than she was.
“Don’t you want to just sit and enjoy each other’s company? We can make love whenever we want to, Reny. I just want to hold you in my arms, kiss you, and talk to you. Is that alright with you?” he asked, his gorgeous silvery-grey eyes intense.
“Yes, of course,” she said, grabbing his face and kissing him fiercely. “It’s just that when I do this,” she teased, exploring his mouth with her tongue. “I also want this,” she said, stroking him urgently. His body responded immediately to her request and he had to talk himself down in a hurried fashion. He really did just want to enjoy her company. He wanted them to really get to know each other. If this was going somewhere, then he wanted to do it right.
He removed her hand and kissed her cheek. “Babe, I’m serious,” his tone was a bit stern. “I want us to really get to know each other. We have plenty of time to make love and believe me, I will be inside you so much that you will have trouble walking. Right now, I just want to be with you, okay?” His words melted her and she felt hot tears spill down her cheeks.
He gently wiped them away, as he kissed her sweetly. “Hey, what’s wrong? Did I hurt your feelings?” he inquired and she laughed.
“No, Darian, the opposite. You’ve made me so happy. I was really scared that you wouldn’t forgive me and that you wouldn’t give me another chance.”
“To be honest, Reny, I have no idea why I am. There’s just something about you, babe.” His fingers were soft on her face and she leaned into his touch.
“I’ve never given a second chance to a woman before. Of course, none of them have ever walked out on me, either,” he remarked in an amused tone. “You’re stronger than what you give yourself credit for and I think you’re the perfect woman for me.” His words slammed her in the chest, hard enough to take her breath away.
“What are you saying, Darian?” she asked.
“I’m saying that I want to see where this goes,” he offered. The breath whooshed out of her in a rush. That’s not what she’d been hoping he’d say. She wanted him to acknowledge her as his consort. Well, baby steps, she thought.
“So, tell me, what did you and your mother speak of when you visited?”
“I told her everything, Darian and she told me I was the
biggest fool she’d ever seen. She
told me that I’d made a grave error walking out on you and that you were the catch of a lifetime. She told me to throw myself at your mercy and beg forgiveness. When I returned, I intended to do just that, but I couldn’t face you,” she said, head down, ashamed. “I knew I wronged you in the worst way possible and didn’t see how you could forgive me for what I’d done. I stood outside your door so many nights, but I lost my nerve.” The Mage looked to Kelindril to confirm her words and he grudgingly nodded his confirmation.
“Why the hell wouldn’t you tell me this, Kel?” Darian’s tone was venomous.
“Because I thought you were better off without her. She walked out on you when you needed her most, Darian. I was only doing what I thought was best for you. If she left you twice, she’s more than likely to do so again.”
“Thank you, Kel. I appreciate your concern. Next time, just be honest with me, okay? Trust me to make the right decision.”
“Of course. And for what it’s worth, Darian, I’m sorry. I don’t like seeing you in the state you were in when she left. You’re my friend and I couldn’t stand to see you hurt anymore.”
“It’s alright, Kel. I understand why you did it.” Then to Renlyss he said, “Go on, babe,” he coaxed, his voice gentle and silky smooth.
“When I’d gained sufficient courage and learned to swallow my pride, you were with Aslyn. You both looked so happy that it broke my heart because I couldn’t stand the thought of trying to come between you and I couldn’t stand to see you with anyone but me. What kind of person would I be if I came between you? So, once more I berated myself for my stupidity and went home. Most nights, I cried myself to sleep, unable to bear the crushing weight of helplessness and sorrow that threatened to drown me in a sea of loneliness. When Aslyn was murdered, I wanted to comfort you, but was certain I was the last person you’d want to see. I saw the way you looked at me when we crossed paths. Your eyes were malicious, Darian.”
“Because you hurt me, Reny. I was angry, that’s all. I wanted you to feel the pain that I was feeling and I guess you were. We were both living in our own private hell. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to find someone who made me happy so that you could see us together and be jealous. I know that’s childish, but I couldn’t help what I was feeling.”
“Darian, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sorry I left and put you in a vulnerable position. I’m sorry for Aslyn and…” she trailed off, unable to speak the words he needed to hear.
In answer, he kissed her, sweeping his tongue between her lips, forgoing his usual pattern. He needed to taste her. He broke off the kiss much to her dismay, but she had to admit, she could feel them growing closer the more time they spent together. Of a sudden, his words came rushing back to her. He’d told her numerous times that he felt he could fall for her if given time. Was that what was happening? Was he falling in love with her? She almost laughed aloud at the foolishness of her own thoughts. Just because she wanted that more than anything, didn’t mean it was going to happen.
Darian’s turmoil over Reny was quickly dissipating, like fog before the sun. He wanted to be with her. Wanted to get to know her. Wanted to make her his… She was covered in his designs, but he wanted not only her body, but her heart and soul. He believed he had it, but he also knew that he wanted to reciprocate. He wanted to give himself to her in every way possible and he was beginning to believe that he could do so. He felt closer to her than he ever had with Tynuviel and he noticed the white-hot agony of her loss had begun to fade in the beautiful elven mage’s presence. He kissed her again, slow and sweet, his tongue lazily exploring her mouth and she moaned in response.
Kyler watched them from a distance, not wanting to interrupt them. Darian seemed happy for the first time in a long time and the elf was determined that he would remain so. He was still angry with Renlyss for the way she’d left the Mage, but even he could see how sorry she was. Hell, he could feel it.
Nephraete slid her hand into his and he kissed her softly. “They look good together, don’t they?” she asked.
“Yes, they do. I just hope he knows what he’s doing.”
“I think everyone knows what he’s doing,” she giggled and he joined in.
“Yes, we do at that. He doesn’t care who sees,” Kyler remarked.
“I don’t think she’ll be leaving him again,” she added.
“If she does, he better not take her back or I’ll have to talk some sense into him. If he’ll listen, that is.”
Torgyn awoke in the deep night, fresh from another round of horrendous nightmares. Darian had healed his body, but he was wondering if his mind had been broken. He’d need to speak with him, if he would. Darian hated him. He remembered, as if hazy from a drug induced sleep, Darian winking and smiling reassuringly at him as he healed his arm. Was that a dream or reality?
He meant to lay back down, but found himself standing over the thief, blade dangerously close to his throat. Mordinian lay asleep, unaware that death was calling. Torgyn hated the thief, the condescending bastard. Mordinian had tolerated the Bard’s presence, but that was it.
The only reason Torgyn had stayed with the thief for so long was because he’d been learning at an alarming rate and he didn’t want it to stop. But he was beginning to wonder if the prize was worth it anymore.
He wanted to slit the thief’s throat, was in fact, struggling with himself at this very moment. His hand was shaking with the effort to restrain himself. What’s happening to me? He dropped the blade and returned to his bedroll. Maybe the Mage shouldn’t have saved me. He should have killed me. I should kill myself.
The dark thoughts haunted the Bard and he couldn’t get free of them. Everywhere he looked, he saw dark shapes writhing in the ethereal darkness, dark images plastered on a dark background, shadows within shadows, madness, death.
In the morning, they moved east once more, the sun kissing the sky and bringing love and warmth with her rise. Darian was ill at ease. He felt some disturbance, something dark, but couldn’t pinpoint it. It had been strong when he opened his eyes, but Renlyss had been curled against him, her lovely, firm breasts brushing his chest and they broke his concentration. When
he focused his thought, it was gone, as if it had never existed. He walked the perimeter of the camp and bumped into Alvos, who was also looking around.
“You feel it too?” Alvos asked, as his eyes swept over the camp. Darian could feel his magic oozing over the area, searching for the source.
“Yes,” was all Darian said. Darian added his magic to Alvos’s and they guided it to do their bidding. They hadn’t found anything though. It bothered Darian that they couldn’t find whatever it was they were looking for. He guessed they’d know it when they found it, but it was elusive.
“So, you’re diddling the elven mage?” asked Alvos, as they worked.
Yup,” was all Darian said.
“How is she? As tight as she looks?”
“That is something you will never know, Alvos,” replied Darian. “Do not speak so of her again, understand?”
“Chickety check,” said Alvos and Darian laughed. “Aren’t you afraid that someone will see us working together?”
“No.” Alvos sighed in irritation and motioned for the young Mage to continue. “Seriously Alvos, how did you become a Mage of The Order if you cannot feel what I’ve done?” asked Darian with a smile.
“Pish posh!” exclaimed Alvos, in a joking tone that revealed that this wasn’t the first time they’d discussed this matter.
“I froze them so we could talk.”
“How the hell do you do that?” he asked exasperatedly. “They are Mages, Darian. How can you get past their wards and protection?” The tall blonde Mage was stunned. He had no idea Darian could do that. Had he done it to him without him knowing? The smile on the young Mage’s face told Alvos that he had. He didn’t know why he was so surprised, either. Of course, Delvishan’s chosen could perform miracles!
“Oh please, as if any of you could stop me,” he said with a chuckle. As he continued working with Alvos, Darian split his Weave and attacked Alvos’s protective shield, knocking it aside easily and gaining access to the older Mage. The shock and surprise were evident on his face and Darian merely laughed.
“You have got to teach me how to do that!”
“Oh absolutely!” Darian mocked and Alvos laughed. They worked for some time, but never found anything.
Torgyn awoke, feeling sluggish and drained, he felt warm and sticky. He stood slowly as horror overcame him. He was covered in blood; it was smeared on every inch of visible skin, his
clothes were soaked, and his hair was matted with dried blood.
What have I done? He thought with revulsion. He looked around, but didn’t see anything, dead or alive. He was no longer in the camp. Where am I? He wondered, confusion muddling his thought processes.
He hurriedly washed himself and his clothes, though he had no idea how he would explain not only his absence, but his appearance as well. He may as well have not even bothered to worry about it. No one noticed either his absence or his presence or so he thought. Everyone was talking and eating, laughing and joking. He had never felt lonelier. No one talked to him or bothered to get to know him. Every day he walked alone. Sometimes Mordinian would walk with him, but he’d rather be alone than be confined to that one’s company.
Darian noticed the Bard entering the camp, looked disheveled. His clothes were rumpled and wet? He was quickly changing, shoving his wet clothes into his pack. The Mage cast a web of spells at the Bard, but it may be a while before they revealed anything, if at all. Where had he been and why was he wet? The Mage could not sense anything per se, but something about the Bard set his teeth on edge; more than usual. Darian did not like or trust the Bard, but right now, he felt it better to keep him close.
“Care for something to eat?” The Mage proffered the plate of food and Torgyn looked around to see who Darian was talking to. The Mage seemed amused at the Bard’s reaction and motioned for him to sit and handed him the plate of food.