by Eve R. Hart
I missed being social, but not really.
Because it wasn’t like I was here to make conversation or seek out friends. Even still, I was around people, and most days, that was enough for me.
“Hey, Theon,” Marci greeted me with a wide smile as I pulled out my earbuds and shoved them into my pocket so I wouldn’t seem rude. Hey, look at that, someone knew my name. Only because she had written it on my order so many times that it was probably stuck in her head by now. I internally rolled my eyes at the thought it could be for any other reason. “Are you okay? Haven’t seen you in a few days.”
“Oh, yeah,” I stammered. I was never good at lying. “I’m great, just caught up in work and haven’t had a chance to get out much.”
I let out a nervous, huffy laugh that sounded strained.
“Oh, okay. Glad everything is good.” She paused and I opened my mouth to tell her what I wanted. Anything to end this awkward interaction. But she spoke before I could. “The usual? Add hazelnut?”
She already had a medium cup in hand, marker open, and was scribbling my name on it without waiting for an answer. Why she still wrote my name on it even though she was more than likely going to turn around and fix it herself right away, I wasn’t sure. I could only assume it was more of a habit type of thing.
“Yep. That would be awesome. Thanks.” All the words seemed to rush out at once.
God, why couldn’t I just be normal?
As I figured, she turned to get my drink, adding a pump of hazelnut syrup to the cup before pouring in the dark, hot, decaffeinated goodness. Yep, decaf because you would not want to see me hyped up on caffeine. I was like a jumpy, frightened rabbit that fell into a mountain of cocaine.
When she turned back around, I handed her my card and waited as she quickly swiped it. I tucked my wallet into my back pocket before I shuffled off as quickly as I could without spilling my drink.
I looked up and I actually gasped out loud as my eyes locked on a pair of familiar ones.
I stopped in my tracks and just stared.
Right in my line of sight was the sexy mystery man that I’d plowed into yesterday.
I could have sworn that I’d never seen him at the coffee shop before. Yet there he sat, looking as if he was drinking his everyday morning coffee with something in his gaze that said he expected to see me here.
Weird.
His eyes jerked to the side, shifting to something over my shoulder. I couldn’t stop myself from turning to see what he was looking at. Maybe I hadn’t been the one he was looking for but had merely stepped in his line of sight. I expected to see whatever person had taken my vacated spot at the counter but there was no one there. Only Marci, her cheeks pink as her eyes looked my way.
Oh, okay. So he was looking at her.
I shook my head, dropped my gaze, and quickly made my way to where the cream and sugar sat off to the side on its own little island.
Of course he wasn’t looking at me. So ridiculous to even think that he was. But I had to admit there was a little hope that I’d been the one that had his interest. I mean, I sort of did. For like a whole two seconds there.
“Get a grip, Theon,” I muttered to myself as I reached for the half and half.
Embarrassed that I was at the point where I had to talk to myself out loud, I tried to get my coffee doctored up as quickly as possible.
After my coffee was perfect, or so I hoped because I was barely paying attention, I turned and headed for the door.
I had an hour until my first class and my original plan had been to sit here and attempt to get some work done. But now that I felt shaky, I was ready to flee. I was sure I could find a quiet place on campus to sit. Maybe even the library, though I wasn’t a huge fan of the place. Too quiet and it smelled weird. I had never been a fan of books and the thought of being surrounded by them in stacks made me shiver.
Hey, at least it was a nice day so sitting outside wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
As I headed toward campus, I couldn’t stop thinking about the man with the hypnotizing and intense eyes. Why hadn’t I noticed him until yesterday? The semester was well underway and you would have thought that if he kept the same schedule, I would have seen him before. Especially at the coffee shop. I mean, I went there, much like everyone else that attended the small university, at least once a day. On particularly needy days, I went twice. And since he was standing outside of the class I had been leaving I would assume he was waiting for whatever one started up next. But I would have sworn I’d never seen him around.
What did it matter?
It didn’t.
Still, I let it bug me because there was something that seemed familiar about him but I couldn’t place it.
Then paranoia started to take over.
What if he was following me?
What if Perry had sent him to watch me?
Oh, God!
I tried to talk myself out of that possibility. Telling my brain that he was probably there because he wanted Marci. That was why he’d been staring at her. She probably liked him back if the tint in her cheeks were any indication. And I was usually lost in my own little world so I rarely paid attention the people around me. He could have been waiting outside that classroom before and I’d never noticed because I always kept my head down. The only reason I had was because I’d been in such a hurry I’d bumped into him and had no choice but to take him in.
But it wasn’t enough to convince myself that was what was going on.
My stomach cramped at the thought that I was being followed and I actually had to stop walking to keep from doubling over in pain.
My head swiveled like a crazy person. My eyes darted over every inch visible as I tried to spot something or someone out of the ordinary.
My heart began to race in my chest and I struggled to breathe. What was going on? I couldn’t figure it out or how to stop it.
“Hey, are you alright?” I heard a deep, gruff voice ask as my vision became spotty. It sounded muffled and like whoever it was happened to be far away. My mind struggled to place it, but I couldn’t.
“I’m fine,” I said and tried to carry on my way. But I couldn’t see where I was going.
My feet stumbled over something on the sidewalk and I knew I was going down. I cringed as I waited for the sharp impact of my body hitting the hard ground.
Only it didn’t happen.
Heat and electricity zapped my arm and I realized that someone had a firm grip on my bicep.
I hadn’t fallen!
I hadn’t spilled my precious drink all over myself!
I wanted to sing and cry at the same time.
“Th-thank you,” I said as I tried to steady myself so the man that had saved me could release his hold.
I blinked a few times and as my heart slowed down, my vision seemed to clear. It was then that I looked up and met the eyes of the stranger.
Him!
Now I was certain he was following me.
“I-I need to go,” I stammered, the fear I was sure in my eyes.
I didn’t care about anything but getting away from him as I spun and fled.
Why was he following me?
Why did he have to affect me like he did?
And how was that?
Well, I couldn’t really describe it. I just knew that I felt hot from his touch and my body shivered from the intensity of his gaze. Even thinking about it now, I had to fight my body against the lustful tremor that attempted to snake down my spine.
Those eyes. Oh, God. Beautiful and deep, but also closed off and terrifying.
He was definitely someone I should stay away from.
I knew that.
But why couldn’t I seem to stop thinking about him?
And why was I a little excited at the thought of seeing him again… even if he was watching me?
5
Cade
So far, I was failing at this job.
Being part of the Army Special Forces meant that I had extra trai
ning and skills. I’d honed those special skills to perfection. I was stealthy and deadly. It came naturally to me at this point. I could blend in and hide even if I wasn’t trying. Actually, I preferred it that way, and I often used my skills to hide from people because I wanted to be unnoticed. I wanted to blend into the background. And now, I didn’t draw attention to myself simply because I couldn’t handle it. All the questions in people’s stares. All the knowing looks. All the scared thoughts that ran through their head at the sight of me— of how I carried myself. Those things they didn’t even bother to hide from their face as they took me in.
Fuck people and fuck this job.
Even though it was more of a favor than a job.
Why the hell had I agreed to it?
It seemed like the moment I found Theon, I had forgotten everything I’d learned over the last twelve years. I was as useless here as I was back home sitting on my couch in the dark. At least there I didn’t mess anything up. I wasn’t letting my friend down.
Even as that thought filled my mind, I knew it wasn’t entirely true. I’d let Reed down time and time again by simply losing myself to the pity and anger I couldn’t let go of.
I wasn’t a dumb man. At least not when it came to all things Reed. Sure, part of him might have been worried about his newfound half-brother, but part of him had come to me in hopes of shaking me out of the funk I was in. It wouldn’t have done any good to tell him he couldn’t help me this time. So I’d agreed. And I wanted to do my best not to disappoint him.
However, I was making a mess of this whole thing.
The target— no, he wasn’t quite that. The subject— that didn’t sound any better— had seen me not once, but three times now. Sure the last two were within a matter of minutes apart, but I didn’t think that really mattered.
I’d been waiting there at the coffee shop for him again. When he walked through the door, I found that I was a mix of shocked and relieved. And maybe a bit anxious, too. I hadn’t expected to see him simply because he’d neglected his routine since I’d gotten here. But the fact that he was here meant that maybe he was getting back to some sense of normal after whatever had happened to him.
That was something I needed to find out but hadn't figured out how to yet. I didn’t think I’d be able to unless I got close to him, and doing that wasn’t an option.
Then why had I been sitting there out in the open where he could see me?
Where he did see me, I pointed out in my mind.
I didn’t have an answer for that right now— at least, not one that made sense.
My feet hadn’t hesitated to move after him as he made his way out of the coffee shop. The plan was to stay behind him unnoticed.
But when I saw him stop and his body swayed a little, I couldn’t let it go. I had to make sure he was okay.
There was real fear in his eyes when they finally focused on me. Whatever was going on in his head had something to do with me. I had no clue what I’d done to scare him, but God, I hated that it was there. That he looked as if he wanted to get as far away from me as he could get.
It was that look that had me sticking to the shadows again. It wasn’t hard and since the dark corners felt like a warm, comfortable blanket, I should have been happy to be back there.
But I wasn’t.
I felt like I was too far away from him and that didn’t make any sense.
So when it became too much, I retreated even more. I forced myself to stay in my motel room. Since I hadn’t seen anything while I’d been trailing Theon that screamed danger, I figured he was safe for now. I hadn’t caught anyone following him, watching his every move. I hadn’t seen anyone make a look of fear fill his face. Other than me, that was. Could I have been the threat in this situation? If so, how the hell had that happened?
I shook my head, quickly dismissing the strange thoughts.
I’d never hurt Theon. Even if I didn’t trust him, I had never thought of putting my hands on him in anger.
But now I was thinking of putting my hands on him. Only it wouldn’t be to hurt him. It would be to take him. To feel him. To know if the spark that I felt when I touched him was simply a fluke.
Again, I shook my head and forced Reed to the front of my mind.
Since what I’d been doing wasn’t working, I needed to come at this from a different angle.
I ordered a pizza and spent the rest of the night pouring over everything Theon Graham that I could get my hands on. Reed had already sent me a bunch of files that held things like his bank account information and class schedule. All these things I’d already gone over but I felt like I was missing something.
I wasn’t.
On paper, Theon didn’t live a very exciting life. He didn’t go to that many places, which I’d already figured out. I wondered if he had any friends.
Maybe that girl from the coffee shop?
I grunted out loud as I thought that.
I hadn’t missed the way she perked up when Theon walked in. Or how she’d checked him out once he’d walked away from her.
The only thing that set me at ease was the fact that Theon seemed to be oblivious to it.
After that, I searched for any social media accounts he had. I’d expected to see tons of pictures of him doing any and every little thing, but there was nothing. As in, no accounts for him. Like he hadn’t even bothered with such things. Hell, even I had a Facebook profile, not that I ever did anything on it.
Theon became more of a mystery the more I looked into him.
Instead of reaching out to Reed, I called it quits. I might have been avoiding Reed. At first, because I didn’t really have anything to tell him. And now, because I didn’t know what to tell him.
Not about what was going on with Theon.
And not what was going on with me.
6
Theon
I hadn’t seen the mystery man in two days.
And yes, I had looked for him everywhere I went. I was torn between wanting to see him and being scared of what it meant if I did.
I had started to relax a little. The paranoid thoughts had drifted away and I was feeling somewhat normal.
As much as I could right now.
The truth was, I had stepped in a big pile of dog poop and no amount of rubbing my shoe in the grass would get it off.
I hated Perry. I really did. And what he was putting me through nearly had me hating my half-brother, Reed. If I had never found out who my father was, never found out I had family out there, then none of this crap would have happened. Then again, it was kind of all my fault. Deep down I had to know what would happen if I sought Reed out. I had to know that there was a chance that he would embrace me. I could even say that I’d hoped for it. But not for the reasons that people might think. I was so desperate for a good connection that I held out hope that Reed would treat me with kindness. I didn’t expect it, but I wanted it so badly.
Reed might have been skeptical at first, but then he turned into the long lost brother of my dreams.
He showed me kindness and genuinely wanted to keep me in his life.
And now, I had to betray him in order to save my life.
A sigh escaped me as I rolled over in bed.
Five-thirty in the morning and it looked like I wouldn’t be getting any sleep.
Yeah, I’d decided that it was Perry that I hated, and only him.
I never bragged about my connection to Reed. I preferred to keep it a secret. Not because I was ashamed but because… well, I wasn’t all that sure yet. Maybe I was still waiting for him to turn his back and tell me all his kindness was a joke. To pull the rug out from under me and leave me flailing while I tried not to hit the ground.
I think that was the reason that Perry had so easily been able to slip into my life. I was so scared of losing one of the few good things I had in my life that when something new came along, I clung to it.
Perry had made me feel like there was something real between us. He acted like he was deeply i
nterested in me and I’d been so desperate for affection that I’d fallen for it so easily. I even believed him when he told me he loved me. And while I hadn’t said it back to him, I felt like I was falling for him.
God, he had been so charming. And sexy. And sweet.
Too bad it was all an act.
An act that I fell for so hard.
It wasn’t until he told me some sob story about needing money and brought up the idea of asking my brother for it that I caught on to the fact that things weren’t right.
I had been so stupid, thinking the reason behind asking me all those questions about my life was because he cared. I thought he wanted to know everything about me like I wanted to know about him. I thought our relationship was real and going somewhere. So, I told him everything. In those quiet moments when we were in bed, basking in the afterglow of our orgasms, I had told him things I didn’t just share willingly. I even told him about Reed and how I was excited to have a brother. More importantly, a brother that seemed like he wanted to look out for me. I couldn’t express how that made me feel, but I had tried to Perry.
I had spilled my fears and my regrets. My apprehensions about everything in life. My dreams of finding a place where I fit in. Everything. And what did he do? Turned around and used it against me. Used it for his own gain. I just hadn’t figured out if he knew my connection to Reed before or after he asked me out.
Had I always been the target, or was it simply an opportunity that presented itself?
Either way, I felt like the biggest fool ever.
When I had flat out refused to ask my brother for money, I saw a different side of him.
I could still feel the sting of his blows to my body, mainly my face.
A few hours later, I sluggishly rolled out of bed. I was determined to go about my day as if it hadn’t affected me. But I was running out of time. I had no clue how I was going to get out of this situation, but the last thing I was going to do was bring Reed into it. His relationship was too important to me and I wouldn’t ruin that for anything.