Less Broken

by Eve R. Hart

  “Shut the fuck up and listen to me,” he barked. “Theon is a soft soul. I love him and I’m so grateful he came into my life even if it did make me question everything I’ve ever known. My parents are gone. When they died… I felt like I was alone. You were gone. And I’m not saying that to make you feel bad. I’m so damn proud of you, Cade. But you were off being a hero and I couldn’t burden you with what I was going through. Then Theon showed up and I didn’t feel so alone.”

  My lips thinned as I tried to hold back my emotions.

  I should have been there for him. I should have come home. But I couldn’t because I was trying to evade the pain I felt from losing his parents by pushing myself as far as I could. I kept busy so I wouldn’t have to think about it. And as many times as I thought about how much worse it must have been for Reed, I still didn’t come home.

  I couldn’t understand why he still wanted to be in my life.

  I was the worst friend in the world.

  “So, other than you falling in love with my little brother, what the hell else is going on?”

  He smiled and I knew everything would be alright.

  I took a deep breath before asking what he knew. I wasn’t ready to hear that Reed had talked to Theon when I couldn’t even get close to him. I knew they had formed this tight relationship. I already knew that Reed had taken Theon into his heart, even before I came here. But what I hadn’t seen until recently was how much Theon looked up to Reed and respected him. It hadn’t been so much the things that he’d said but more of the expressions that played across his face any time he mentioned my best friend here. There had been little hints, and I remembered them all.

  “He called me in tears about a week ago,” Reed started as he moved to take the vacant seat where Jameson had been sitting when I walked into the room. “I could barely understand him. But he told me everything about Perry. God, Cade, he apologized so many times it broke me. I’m glad that asshole is dead because if he weren’t…”

  “Oh, I know,” I told him with a pointedly raised brow. I would have killed him myself, much like Reed wanted to do.

  “I knew there was something else but he wouldn’t tell me much about this man who’d helped him but suddenly wasn’t around for whatever reason.” Reed stared at me and I knew what he wasn’t saying. “It didn’t take much to figure out it was you.”

  Yeah, I was sure it didn’t.

  “He never said your name, though,” Reed told me.

  I wasn’t sure what to make of that.

  “I got too close,” I admitted. “I’m not sorry I did, but I do regret how everything went down. I never meant to hurt him.”

  “I know,” Reed said with a small smile. I wanted him to tell me he forgave me. But he wouldn’t because the thing about Reed was he never held anything against me. He took me for who I was, flaws and all, and he loved me like a damn brother. “Now tell me the shit I don’t know.”

  I opened my mouth to go into it but he stood abruptly, effectively halting my words.

  “I’m hungry. Been waiting on your ass for a long time. Let’s go get some food and you can fill me in.”

  I smiled wide. First smile in days and damn, did it feel good. I slung my arm around his shoulders as we walked to the door.

  “I know just the place,” I told him. “They have locally brewed beer.”

  His eyes lit up with excitement and I knew I had him.

  In the car, I spilled it all. Well, almost everything. I filled him in on what I’d seen. How I’d gotten close to Theon, including how I’d lifted his wallet just so I had an excuse to talk to him. I even admitted that it had nothing to do with the fact that Reed had sent me down here. I did leave out the part about how I’d kissed his little brother and how much I liked it. That wasn’t something he needed to hear.

  I had to admit, it felt good to say that out loud. It made me realize that all the things I felt for Theon were fucking real and it gave me the strength to not give up.

  Once I had all the shit that I knew out of the way, I went into the feeling of uneasiness I couldn’t shake about Perry’s untimely death.

  Reed had agreed.

  By that time we had parked and taken up two seats in the middle of the bar.

  We tabled the talk for now, but I knew we were on the same page, both of us trying to see the situation from all angles in order to figure it out. It was going to be a long night but as long as Theon was safe, nothing else mattered.

  I hated that Reed felt the need to show up, but damn, was I glad he was here.

  18

  Theon

  Was it stupid that I missed Cade?

  I suppose it was but that didn’t stop my heart from feeling a sense of loss.

  How could he…

  “Ugh,” I said out loud as I shook my head.

  Thank God, no one was around to hear me.

  I knew he was still out there watching me.

  No, that wasn’t right.

  Looking out for me.

  That was the sense that wrapped around me every time I felt he was near. It didn’t scare me, even though it probably should have. And it made absolutely no sense to my brain. Why would he be looking out for me? There had to be something I was missing. Some link to me that I didn’t know about. Otherwise… well, it just didn’t make any sense that he was watching over me because of this connection we felt with one another.

  Whatever the reason was, I couldn’t deny that he was out there.

  I could feel him. Like all the time. I looked for him but could never find him.

  Yeah, I missed him and thought that I’d jumped the gun when I told him to get out. He hadn’t acted as if he wanted to hurt me. In fact, he looked broken. I’d done that and it was hard to live with. I should have just listened when he said he wanted to explain. But I had been scared. So freaking scared.

  I walked out of my apartment building and it was like I knew he wasn’t there now.

  I dreaded tonight.

  After I’d called out last weekend, I felt shame and like I’d let Big Tony down. It had just been the weekend before that I didn’t go in because of basically the same thing. Only the first time Perry had gotten to me, I hadn’t been nearly as bad off. It was the humiliation of what happened to me and the fact that I didn’t want people to know.

  Last weekend, I should have gone in, even if it meant I had to explain everything to Big Tony. I thought about it for a long time, but I couldn’t seem to stop crying most of the afternoon and my body just wasn’t having it. I had ached from staying on the floor for so long. I knew lifting bins of dishes would be a no-go. I’d likely break more than I’d get washed. Not to mention my stupid pinky finger was in a splint. I had two more weeks of wearing it, you know, if I was lucky. I suspected Big Tony would send me home tonight, but I was at least going to show my face. He deserved to know the real reason why I’d been so flaky lately. And I wanted to show him that the job and chance he’d given me meant a lot to me. I mean, if he let me work, broken finger and all, I would do my best for him. I kind of hoped that he would so at least I could have something to focus on and a sense of normalcy for a change.

  Everything in my life felt like it was jumbled. Nothing was right and I couldn’t seem to find a way to fix it. How could I? Even if I wanted to move on, I couldn’t. Not without talking to Cade and getting some answers. There had been times I wanted to wave my arms frantically and call him out. But what if I had been wrong? What if he wasn’t really out there? It would have made it worse because it would have told me that everything I’d felt hadn’t been real. So, going to work was sort of me seeking out something comforting, and I knew Big Tony would deliver because that was the kind of man he was.

  Yes, I could have reached out to Reed, and part of me wanted to. But I felt like I’d disappointed him enough lately. Besides, he had a lot on his plate, it wasn’t like he sat around doing nothing.

  Calling Reed to tell him nearly everything had been so hard. I was afraid he’d drop me be
cause he no longer trusted me. But he’d surprised me and told me everything would be okay. He hadn’t even sounded mad at me.

  I left him thinking that everything was fine now that Perry was dead.

  I still hadn’t really wrapped my head around that.

  Perry was gone.

  He wouldn’t be bothering me anymore.

  I had somehow gotten out of this thing unscathed.

  Okay, so unscathed wasn’t exactly true. But I was still breathing and it no longer hurt to bend over. I’d made it out alive, so that was the important thing.

  I walked into work all prepared to explain a whole load of things to Tony. I was actually running a few minutes late, something that never happened.

  “Hey, Big Tony,” I said as I rushed in. He was behind the bar, like always. “Sorry, I’m late…”

  The excuse I was going to throw out quickly died in my throat.

  Because right there sitting at the bar facing me was the last person I expected to see.

  “Reed?” I asked, my head cocked to the side because I had to make sure I was seeing this right.

  “Hey, Theon,” Reed said after the brief moment of shock had passed. Clearly, he hadn’t expected to see me here, which told me that he wasn’t here for me. But then he was smiling and as he stood up to greet me, he welcomed me with open arms.

  Why was he here?

  Why didn’t he call me to tell me he was coming?

  I would have made time for him, he had to know that, right?

  I’d been so shocked by the sight of him here at my work that I barely recognize the fact that he was sitting with someone.

  And that someone turned the moment Reed pulled me in for a hug.

  I froze.

  Why couldn’t I swallow? Or even take in a breath?

  “Theon, everything good?” Tony’s voice registered in my ears but it sounded far away.

  I squeaked out something that was supposed to be an answer. No, I wasn’t okay. Not by a long shot. I knew Tony wouldn’t go far until he knew everything was under control, but I didn’t have the words to give him right now. And I was sure I didn’t need to say how freaked out I was, it was written all over my face.

  “I want you to meet someone,” Reed said as he released me from the tight embrace. Then he slung his arm around the man still seated on the high stool. “This is Cade. Though, I have a feeling you might already know that.”

  Reed tossed a wink my way that I caught out of the corner of my vision. I was locked on Cade. The man I’d missed and couldn’t figure out. The one that had somehow managed to steal my heart in pretty much one night and then broke it. The man that held the arms that I so badly wanted to fall into.

  I shook my head and tried to find something to say.

  I looked from Cade to Reed, and then back again.

  There was something really familiar about the way the two of them were standing. It was like I’d seen it before.

  I had!

  In Reed’s living room. The mantle was lined with pictures. Reed and Cade. Most of them much like they were now, close and friendly.

  Reed and Cade knew each other.

  “Oh, my God!” I yelled as my hand flew to cover my mouth. “Everything makes so much sense now.”

  Red hit my cheeks and I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t put it all together before.

  Though Reed had never talked about those pictures or the man in them, I had seen them. I guessed they were good friends, or had been at one time. The pictures weren’t recent and though they had piqued my interest, I hadn’t asked Reed about them. And to be fair, there had been a lot unpacked those two days I stayed with him.

  I was kicking myself for not remembering those pictures. I had been curious about the man in Reed’s life. He clearly had a closeness with Reed that I wished I could have had with Reed back then.

  “Theon?” Cade said my name like he was waiting.

  For what?

  I had no idea.

  My head was still reeling and I wasn’t sure how I felt.

  Cade had asked me to let him explain and I’d thrown him out. If I’d only taken a moment to calm down, well, things would have turned out very differently.

  Instead, we’d wasted an entire week. We’d been miserable the whole time, and yes, I could see that he was as well off as I felt.

  “I have to work,” I blurted out.

  “Not happening,” Big Tony said. I looked up to see something dancing in his eyes.

  “What?!” I shrieked. “Please don’t fire me. I’m sorry things have been not-so-good, but that’s all over. Please. I like this job.” I stopped short of saying I needed it, even if it was the truth.

  “Goddammit, kid, I’m not firing you. Like ya too much to lose you.”

  “Thank God. I’m so sorry, Tony. I—”

  “Got some shit to work out and I get it. You let me know if I need to kick some fucker’s ass. No one hurts my Theon.”

  I blushed at his words.

  Tony’s eyes went to Cade’s.

  “Guess you aren’t passing through anymore,” Tony said to Cade and I saw a small smile twitch on Cade’s face.

  I had no idea what they were talking about but I kind of liked that Cade had some inside thing with Tony. It meant that he’d gotten Tony’s approval. And for some reason, that meant a lot to me.

  “Take the weekend off,” Big Tony said. “Besides, you can’t wash dishes with your finger that way. I won’t let it happen. I got it covered.”

  “Hey, Big Tony, tell me about these local beers you have on tap,” Reed said and then the two of them were moving down the bar away from us.

  It wasn’t smooth but I appreciated it all the same.

  “I fucked up,” Cade said and I immediately shook my head. “Yeah, I did, Theon. I should have been upfront with you. Should’ve told you who I was from the start instead of playing games.”

  “So you did steal my wallet?”

  He chuckled, his head ducking.

  “I don’t regret it. You were so damn adorable freaking out the way you did.”

  I swallowed hard as I took a step closer to him.

  “What is this?” I whispered. I was not only throwing myself back to that moment I’d first asked him that very same question, but I was also reminding him of it. Those same feelings that I had then flooded my system. Not that I ever really thought they went away.

  “You know what this is, Theon,” he said, his voice raw, dark, and so darn sexy.

  All I could do was nod.

  His hands were on my hips, and then he was pulling me into his body. It wasn’t a second later that his lips were on mine. I tried to hold the smile back because I wanted his kiss so badly.

  So freaking badly.

  Oh, and it was just as magical as the first time had been.

  Yep, I knew what this was and I wasn’t going to give it up again.

  “Let’s get out of here,” I whispered against his lips. I kept my eyes closed because I was afraid to see his face if he told me no.

  “You sure, baby? Because if I take you home, I’m not stopping this time.”

  “Yes,” I breathed out. I not only wanted it, I needed it. All of it. I didn’t care as long as it was with him.

  “Fuck,” he growled. “Reed, you got the bill. I’m out. Don’t wait up.”

  Then he shot off the stool so fast it had my head spinning. He took my hand in his and I barely had time to mumble out goodbyes as he pulled me toward the door.

  I heard Reed and Big Tony’s laughter floating out into the night after us.

  “Shit, Reed has the keys to the car.”

  “I can run,” I told him, already hurrying my pace. “Good thing I don’t live far.”

  He never let go of my hand as we practically sprinted the three blocks to my apartment.

  Right before we walked up the front stairs, I saw him toss a harsh wave out. I had no clue what was going on and I didn’t even care right now.

  With the way he was
nuzzling my neck, I was barely able to focus long enough to fish my keys out of my pocket. His scruff tickled my skin and I was so turned on that I was shaking as I tried to get the key into the lock.

  I was on him the moment I unlocked the door.

  This was happening.

  Oh, yes!

  19

  Cade

  We should talk, my brain tried to scream at me.

  We should fuck, my dick replied back.

  Both of those things were definitely going to happen but I wasn’t sure in what order.

  The door to his apartment slammed shut and suddenly, I was pushed against it. Theon’s lips were on mine, his hands fisting my shirt like he was afraid I’d slip away. His kiss was eager and a little demanding. I hadn’t expected it, but damn, did I love it.

  “Theon,” I mumbled between kisses.

  “No,” he mumbled back right before he pressed a hard kiss against my lips. “Don’t say my name like that. I know what you’re trying to do. We don’t need to slow down. We don’t need to talk. We don’t need to think. Please, Cade.”

  Well, okay, then.

  This train was rolling and I sure as hell was going to get on board.

  “Bedroom,” I growled as I scooped him up and ran for the said room.

  Theon laughed as he tossed his arms around my neck.

  My heart was beating like crazy. This wasn’t just some random hook-up. This was Theon. The guy that had come into my life out of nowhere and hit me with things I’d never felt before.

  I set him down on the edge of the bed and took a long moment to take him in.

  His head was tilted back. Green eyes damn near sparkling. Cheeks red. Chest heaving. Lips swollen and wet.

  All from me.

  All for me.

  “Too many clothes,” Theon muttered and I wondered if he’d meant to say that out loud.

  One hand shot out and he attempted to lift my shirt up at the same time he tried to one-arm wrestle free of his.

  I called his name softly, causing him to freeze with a deer-in-headlights look.

  “Got all night, baby,” I told him with a smile.

  Then I was crawling onto the bed and caging him in with my body. I felt his hands in my hair as I descended on his mouth.