Just Kidding

by Vale, Lani Lynn

Peyton sat in her chair in Max’s assigned room, looking nervous but collected.

  Dax looked bored.

  I wondered why I was here.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to go?” I asked then.

  She scoffed. “You’re going to have to get used to this, honey. You’ll be doing the same damn thing when your dad goes next month.”

  I hadn’t planned on being there.

  “It’s major, after all,” she continued as if I hadn’t looked conflicted. “They put you under. Because no man is going to be able to deal with having something that large shoved up their ass without being under.”

  “Unless they’re used to getting that on the regular.”

  We all looked up as Max was wheeled into the room on the bed.

  “Unless they want something that big shoved up there on the regular,” Peyton agreed. “But, there are certain risks every time someone is put under general anesthesia. The worst complication being death. So yes, you’re going to be there. Because, despite your dad being a badass, he’s going to have that second thought of ‘what if.’ What if he actually dies? He would want to see you before that happened.”

  And that made me feel like absolute shit. Because she was right.

  I’d heard that anesthesia of any sort was dangerous, and the worst thing that could happen would be death.

  Now that I was thinking about it, I started to get nauseous.

  “He’s still pretty high on the good stuff,” the man that was pushing him into the room said. “When he does start talking, it’s not going to make much sense yet. The worst of the talking has passed, though. He shouldn’t say anything too weird. That’s why we usually keep them in recovery until it has.”

  Dax started snickering.

  “So what did he say?” Dax leaned forward onto his knees.

  The new position made the muscles in his arm flex.

  I felt my belly tighten in response.

  The male nurse turned to Dax and his eyes lit.

  “Mr. January!” he replied loudly.

  The room went silent for a long second and then Max started to snicker.

  “Mr. January, will you suck my cock? Mr. January, you have a nice set of balls. Mr. January, will you inspect my…” Peyton was there to cover her husband’s mouth, letting everyone stand there in silence for a few seconds.

  “Don’t lick me!” Peyton ordered harshly. “I will fuck you up, Max. Anesthesia or no anesthesia.”

  “Can you sign my calendar? I’m not entering to get the vacation or anything. I’d just like to have your signature,” the nurse continued as if Max hadn’t thoroughly embarrassed him.

  I would’ve cried.

  Like, literally, I would’ve tucked and run.

  “Sure,” Dax murmured. “But can you hit me up on the way out?”

  The male nurse was already nodding. “Sure thing.”

  Once he had Max in place, he turned to go, his eyes once again locking longingly onto Dax before he left.

  “You know,” Max drawled. “Your mother used to look at me like that.”

  “Like the way that male nurse just looked at our son?” Peyton laughed softly.

  “No,” he said, his eyes still closed. “The way she looks at our son.”

  I looked up at Peyton who was smiling softly, and then over at Dax who wasn’t looking at me but was smiling down at his feet.

  My gaze turned back to Max. “How’d you know I was looking at him if your eyes are closed?”

  Max’s eyes went from closed to open and alert in half a heartbeat.

  “Know when it’s not just me and my family in the room.” He shrugged. “Not sure why or how. But have been able to feel that for a while now. I don’t feel that with Harleigh’s man Slate, but I suspect that’s because he’s dangerous like me. You, though? I imagine I’ll be able to treat you like family once I get to know you a bit better. You’re just a little bit of a thing like my Peyton.”

  I was about six inches taller than Peyton and about twice her body weight. But I guessed when you compared that to Max’s size, then yes, I was a ‘little bit of a thing.’

  “Interesting,” I teased.

  “You’re telling me you don’t feel safe when Slate’s in the room, Daddy?” Harleigh, Dax’s sister, called from the doorway.

  “I didn’t say I didn’t feel safe,” Max mumbled, sounding tired. “I just said there’s a fucking difference. Your brother I can trust to always look out for me. Your mom. Hell, even that other little girl sitting next to your brother. Your husband only has one priority, and that’s you.” He paused. “Though, I’m getting the feeling that your brother might be protecting his girl’s ass before yours… so just FYI. Where’s the baby?”

  “That’s okay, Max,” a deep, gravelly voice said. “I got her covered. And the baby is with my sister.”

  “Knew you did or I wouldn’t have allowed you to marry her,” Max countered, closing his eyes once again. “Why are all you in my room? I had a colonoscopy. I’m mourning my anal virginity right now. Can you please leave? Where’s my grandbaby, anyway?”

  “My sister has her,” Slate answered again.

  The doctor came in before anybody else could comment on his anal virginity.

  Dax had his face buried in his hands, and I couldn’t help poking him a bit.

  He looked over at me from between two fingers.

  “I hope your dad says worse,” he groaned when he looked at me, seeing the smile on my face.

  “I hope not,” I admitted. “It wouldn’t be nearly as funny then.”

  “Max, how ya feeling?” the doctor asked as he walked up to Max’s bedside.

  “Right now?” Max asked. “I feel like a winner winner chicken dinner.” He paused. “I’m sure later I won’t be saying that, now will I?”

  The doc shrugged. “I’ve never had any complaints.”

  Oh my God. They had the same sense of humor.

  Harleigh groaned as did Dax.

  Slate and I shared amused glances.

  “Did you find any drugs up there?” Max rasped.

  The doctor didn’t even miss a beat.

  “No, but I found a Coke bottle.”

  “On that note,” Dax said as he stood up. “We’re going to head out, Dad. Love you.”

  After kissing his mother goodbye, he got to his sister.

  Before she could even think to run, Dax had her in his arms and was squeezing her to death.

  “Uhh,” I said, patting Dax on the arm. “She’s turning purple.”

  Dax held on until she bit him.

  Which he then dropped her from at least a foot high.

  “You didn’t save me, Slate!” Harleigh slapped her husband’s chest with the back of her hand.

  “I knew you could handle him,” he countered.

  “Awww, good answer.” I held out my hand. “I’m Rowen.”

  Slate took it and said, “Slate.”

  I looked over at Harleigh. “Nice to see you again, Harleigh.”

  Harleigh grinned. “Y’all want to go grab lunch? I think I’ll let Mom and Dad have some alone time before I come back.”

  “Sure.” Dax looked at me, eyebrows raised. “Where do you want to go?”

  It was as we were stepping out of their father’s room that the mob began.

  “Mr. January, will you sign this?”

  It wasn’t just the male nurse this time. It was also two female nurses. All of them looking at Dax as if he was a slice of prime rib and they were hungry little dogs.

  Dax smiled and chuckled good-naturedly, but I could tell after the fifth minute of standing there, he wasn’t in a good mood any longer.

  “Well, guys,” I said, interrupting the nurses as they cooed over Dax. “We’re on our way to lunch. Have a good day.”

  They all looked upset that I’d taken away their new favorite toy.

  Dax breathed a sigh of relief when we were all on the e
levator.

  “Mr. January…” Harleigh breathed heavily, fanning her face.

  “Don’t,” Dax ordered.

  “Mr. January, I seem to have misplaced my panties.” Harleigh ignored him. “Will you loan me your mouth?”

  “Harleigh…” Dax warned.

  “Mr. January…” The doors opened and Harleigh braced herself. “You have such a cute ass, Mr. January. Can I touch it?”

  And Harleigh was off, with Dax chasing after her.

  “I have my own sister,” Slate said as he walked with me out of the elevator at a normal pace. “I know how it is. But I swear to God. We’re not like they are.”

  I snorted. “My brother and I are. Derek made our lives a living hell. It’s my greatest accomplishment when I can get him to hate me just a little bit.”

  Slate grunted and walked with me in the direction that we could hear yelling from the two siblings.

  We were almost to the door when two people came barreling out of a door to our right.

  “…didn’t get pregnant on purpose, Theo.”

  That voice.

  Why couldn’t I escape that voice?

  I held back as the couple hurried to the doors, not once looking to see if they cut anyone off.

  “It’s fucking suspicious is what it is,” Theo said. “You said you were on birth control. In fact, you informed me that if you were ever to get pregnant what would happen. A high-risk pregnancy. So you told me that you were on the pill. If you weren’t on the pill, I would’ve worn a condom. And being here is fucking awful. People know me here, Shondra. They’re going to figure out that I knocked up the crazy chick because you just can’t fucking stop yourself from being a crazy chick and exposing yourself.”

  “I’m not that crazy,” Shondra countered.

  I slowed to an even slower walk, and I could feel Slate looking down at me.

  “You are that crazy,” he said. “Who the fuck puts Nair in their friend’s hair? A crazy chick, that’s who.”

  I felt Slate’s eyes land on my still kind of bald head.

  He was putting two and two together really quick.

  Theo’s comment about my hair, as well as my flinching at that hair comment and walking extra carefully behind the couple so I didn’t draw their attention, had him adding up the facts.

  “It was an accident,” Shondra said.

  I got pissed then, stiffening my spine.

  “It wasn’t an accident and you know it. She was my friend,” Theo countered.

  “Well she’s not anymore, is she?” Shondra hissed. “Stop looking at me. You make me annoyed.”

  I would’ve laughed had I not been so angry.

  “And why, out of all these fucking places, did you have to find a doctor here?” Theo continued. “You could’ve found one in San Antonio, and you know it.”

  “Because you were coming home,” she said. “You were coming home, and I’m having your kid. This is just as much your responsibility as it is mine.”

  I could no longer hear Dax and Harleigh fighting, so I was fairly sure that Dax had spotted Theo.

  Which would mean they’d be spotting me sometime soon, too.

  There were only so many places to hide in this hallway.

  There was the end of the hallway where we’d come from the elevators, and there was the exit all the way on the other side.

  “I don’t want you here, though,” Theo said. “I want you…”

  “What are you doing here?” Shondra hissed.

  She’d seen Dax.

  “Could ask you the same question,” Dax drawled. “I thought you were in San Antonio.”

  “Well, that’s what you get for thinking.” Shondra waved her hand. “Where’s that… friend of yours?”

  “Behind you,” Dax said.

  Shondra hissed and turned, like a cat startled to find that she wasn’t alone like she thought she was.

  I wanted to shrink into the man at my side.

  And Slate, obviously being the good man that he was, stepped forward and partially in front of me, protecting me without a second thought.

  I squeezed his arm in thanks, not because I didn’t think I could handle Shondra—which honestly at this point I wasn’t really sure that I could—but because he was so fast at doing the protecting. He hadn’t even thought twice about it.

  “Of course it would be you,” she hissed. “Do you ever fucking leave?”

  I choked at that, my back stiffening in surprise.

  “Do I ever fucking leave?” I asked, taking a step away from Slate so that she could see me clearly. “You do realize, correct, that I live here? I moved here. You are the one that’s doing the following.”

  She snorted. “We were always coming here. Theo found out he wanted to transfer back months ago. We were just waiting for him to have a shift to slide into. Though, not sure why he bothered applying at the police station. Something about the long hours and a baby don’t mix is what he said. Whatever.”

  I clenched my hands into fists.

  He’d known for months that he was coming back? Jesus, he could’ve at least said something!

  Not that I really cared at this point, but shit.

  “Well, that still doesn’t change the fact that I was here first,” I pointed out. “But I’ll be sure to avoid wherever y’all will be. Kilgore is big enough.”

  Was it?

  I sure hoped so.

  Dax moved then, drawing my attention, and I grinned at him.

  “Well,” I said as I waved a hand in the air. “We’re off to lunch. Hope you continue to have a good day.”

  Dax moved then, grabbing my wrist and tugging me along with him.

  Theo grabbed Shondra in much the same way Dax had me and pulled her to the side of the hallway.

  We passed with no words exchanged.

  We even made it out of the building, too.

  “Mr. January!”

  Dax cursed under his breath and gestured to the bike.

  I didn’t hesitate.

  “Meet you at the diner just down the road?” Harleigh asked, standing next to a bike that was just as big as Dax’s.

  Slate mounted the bike and held his hand out for his wife.

  When I turned around, it was to see Dax holding my helmet out to me.

  I took it and turned so that he couldn’t see my rather large smile.

  Then put on my helmet.

  Fifteen minutes later there was more of the same.

  Mr. January this. Mr. January that. Honestly, even that got less funny as the lunch hour went on.

  Eventually Dax was forced to go outside while we waited for the food to get done.

  Then we took it outside and ate it on the back of the bikes.

  But I did realize that I liked Slate and Harleigh a whole lot.

  I also realized that my man was in some serious need of an aggression release.

  Which was why, when we arrived home an hour later, Harleigh taking over the shift at the hospital with their dad, I did what I did next.

  Biting my lip, I moved to the doorway that was left open between the living room and the space beside the bed.

  “Hey, Mr. January,” I called, eyes mischievous.

  Dax growled and turned to me.

  “You did not just say that.”

  Chapter 16

  Fuck off.

  Hi.

  -Text from Rowen to Derek

  Rowen

  “Will you fuck me, Mr. January?”

  He was already on edge after the shit he’d heard when it came to the ‘Mr. January’ title over the last two hours and was running on very little patience.

  “You did not just say that,” he replied, voice clipped and tight.

  I shrugged nonchalantly. “If the shoe fits.”

  “Don’t,” he growled, leaping and making it to me in less than two steps. “Call.” He pinned me to the wall. “Me.” He slammed his mouth down on
to mine and kissed the hell out of me. “Mr. January.”

  His mouth fully sealed down over mine then, no more breath left between us, and I was consumed.

  His hands were everywhere, but they didn’t feel wrong, as they moved. He inspected, pulled my clothes from me, and had me naked on my knees in front of him before I could figure out I wasn’t even standing any longer.

  “Suck,” he ordered, his voice rough. His hands insistent on my jaw. “Do it slowly.”

  I was in the process of letting my tongue slide along the length of his cock head, but paused, wondering if he wanted me to go even slower than that.

  “Tell me what you want me to do,” I urged. “And I’ll do it.”

  He pressed the head of his cock up against my lips and moved his hips, causing the tip to drag the seam.

  When I went to open my mouth, he pulled back.

  “I lead, you follow,” he pushed.

  My lips twitched, and I batted my eyes at him.

  “Yes, sir,” I teased.

  Then I let him do what he wanted, painting my lips with his pre-cum, teasing me with just the tip. Ordering me to suck his balls.

  It was such a total and complete turn on, all that alpha directed right at little old me, that I couldn’t quite control my reaction.

  By the time he deigned to notice me, writhing and shaking, he started to laugh.

  “You want me, baby?” he asked, dropping down to his haunches in front of me.

  I swallowed hard, looking at his body with hunger in my eyes, as I tried to gather my thoughts.

  The only problem was, it wasn’t going to work. I wasn’t going to be put back under control. Not until he fixed what needed fixing.

  “Yes,” I gasped, my legs spreading in a vain attempt to get him to move closer. To touch me. To do fucking anything.

  “Good,” he growled.

  Then he pushed me backward, and I landed on my ass.

  “Lay down,” he ordered.

  I didn’t waste time.

  Hell, I dared to barely breathe.

  Because oh God, did I want the man between my legs. I wanted him tasting me. I wanted his tongue inside of me. More importantly, I wanted his cock buried so deep that I could hardly remember my name.

  “Do you want my tongue, or do you want my cock?” he asked.

  That was a big decision. How was one supposed to choose?