The Inner Self: The Prophecy

by Raqurra Ishmar

  Unless the boys have a special way of lighting fires, I’ll have no choice but to see what I’m made of.

  I hear a dragging sound outside of the cabin, but I don’t bother opening my eyes to see what it’s all about. After a few trips of dragging and dropping, my curiosity is officially piqued.

  “Sheya, can you come out for a second?” Caylen calls from the doorway. I crack open my eyes, grateful for the dimming light outside, and try to focus on him. It takes a little effort for my eyes to settle firmly on him, instead of swimming around, and I give him a faint head nod.

  I try to stand, but I fall to my hands and knees from pure exhaustion. Caylen rushes through the door, reaching out to help me up. “Get your hands off of me. I don’t need your help!”

  “Sheya, we’re not your enemy,” he mutters while backing away from me.

  “Could’ve fooled me,” I ground out. Using the wall for assistance, I slowly drag myself off of the ground. It’ll be a cold day in hell before I allow them to assist me like I’m some helpless fool. Clearly I need to practice more so that I won’t get burnt out like I did today.

  I stumble out of the shelter, and I stop dead in my tracks. Piled up in front of me are a lot of the willow-like leaves. Right next to them is a big pile of wood. I look over at Titus, knowing that he’s the one that got the leaves because Caylen was the one to get the wood.

  “It will be almost impossible for you to warm up Renee’s body if you’re lying on a freezing cold ground. It will suck any warmth you have quicker than you can replenish it. I’m assuming you didn’t think of that?”

  I bare my teeth at him in a feral smile, pissed off that I didn’t think of that. “Guess not.” I get out of his way so that he can lay the leaves on the cabin floor. They’re so thick and long, he’d probably be able to braid them into a carpet if he really wanted to.

  “I know what else is thick and long,” is something that Renee would’ve said. I don’t know if my theory is correct, but we have to get her back. Caylen walks back out and grabs the rest of the leaves and then comes back out for the firewood. They work in silence for about five minutes before Caylen calls me to come in.

  Glad to be getting back out of the wind, I’m happy to see the floor covered in layers upon layers of leaves and a fire roaring in the fire pit. I don’t really care how they got it started, as long as it’s there. I don’t have the strength to fish or hunt, so I guess I’ll have to settle for the meager snacks that Renee packed. I move to put the slab of wood against the doorway, when Caylen stops me.

  “Zavid will be here soon, let’s not lock him out or anything.”

  “It’s not like he can’t move it when he gets here,” I mutter, but I leave the wood alone and I head to the opposite side of the fire from where they’re sitting. I pick up my book-bag that Caylen dropped on the floor and I place it down in my area. I flop to the floor, curling up on my side, using my bag as a pillow, with my body facing the fire. The leaves are so soft, they have a moss like texture to them, and I can’t even feel the ground through them.

  Renee’s body should be warm in no time, and I’ll be free of talking to these morons. I must’ve dozed off, because Zavid stomping into the cabin jerks me awake and upright. It’s completely dark outside, and if it wasn’t for the fire, I wouldn’t have been able to see the already skinned thing that he’s carrying in his hands.

  “What’s that?” I ask.

  “Dinner,” he says brusquely. I don’t know what that thing is, but as he places it over the fire, I don’t care. The smell that wafts from that animal smells like heaven right about now. Zavid jams the “door” into the ground, and the room immediately heats up even more.

  The food doesn’t take too long to cook, and thankfully, we all eat in silence. With my stomach full and body warm, exhaustion pulls at me again. I toss a few more branches onto the fire, making sure to grab the really thick ones. I curl back up onto my bag and I immediately fall asleep.

  Well, mostly.

  “Did Sheya really build this place?” Zavid asks, his voice a low whisper.

  “Yeah, you should have seen it. It was incredible,” Caylen whispers back.

  “Hm, I guess they do have power.”

  “They also have ears and would like to get some sleep,” I snap. The room quickly grows silent and I fall into oblivion.

  Renee, where the hell are you?

  19

  Renee

  I float in a darkness so absolute, I can’t be sure that I even really exist. I try to remember how I ended up here, but I’m drawing a huge blank.

  “Sheya?” I call out. But I receive no response. Panic starts to grip me as I realize that I’m all alone again, and I don’t like it. Where the hell am I and where is Sheya?

  “Sheya!” I scream, hoping that if I yell loud enough, they’ll answer. But once again, I get nothing. I try to calm down, not really seeing the benefits of losing my shit in an unknown place. It feels like I float there for ages before I notice a shift in the darkness. At first, I thought it was a play of the eye. Maybe I’ve gone crazy from staring at nothingness for so long, I’m starting to imagine seeing something. But as I stare at that spot again, the darkness does shift.

  No. Not shift. It lightens.

  A doorway appears, almost like the portal to get to Relvaria. I race towards it, not caring where it will take me, as long as it gets me out of this darkness. I fall out of the portal and into a field of purple… irises?

  “It’s about time you made it here,” someone says. I hop up and turn towards the voice, half expecting to see Sheya manifested in my body again. Instead, I’m met with a face that looks like mine, but not? The nose and mouth are a little off, she’s a few inches shorter than me and her hair is to the middle of her back. She wears a blue robe, and with a quick jolt of realization, I know who she is.

  “Ren?” I finally ask, my voice cracking with emotion. A serene smile pulls at her lips and she waves at me.

  “Hey, Renee. How weird is this?” she says. I’m rooted to the ground, so it was up to her to close the gap between us. She engulfs me in a hug full of so much love, I can’t help but tear up.

  “What are you doing here? And where exactly is ‘here’?” I ask her, hugging her back a little longer before releasing her. No matter how crazy this whole experience is, I still feel a little uneasy with being here.

  “This realm is a… limbo of sorts. This is where the souls pass through before entering the realm with the Ancestors.”

  “So… does that mean I’m dead?” I can’t be dead. If I’m dead, what will my parents do? I know I wanted to run away to punish them, but I can’t leave them alone. I’m all they have. Well, I’m all my Dad has, anyways.

  “No, you’re not dead, Renee. This is as close as I can get to actually speaking to you. Most who die and pass through here, if deemed worthy by the Ancestors, are allowed to return to Relvaria if their family needs them. I cannot do that, because my soul has been reincarnated.”

  “Me?” I stupidly ask.

  “Yes, you,” she laughs. “It was a shock for you to be born in a completely different realm and by humans, but the Ancestors know what they’re doing, so I’ll just have faith that it’ll all mean something.”

  “But… if I’m not dead, then why am I here?”

  Her face sobers up and the light in her eyes dims a little bit. “There is a storm coming for you, and what you perceive as your life raft, will actually be the anchor that drags you down. Be careful of who you trust, because that will determine if you succeed or fail.”

  “Succeed or fail at what?” I desperately ask. I reach out and clutch both of her hands in mine, discouraged by the ominous way she's talking right now.

  “That is something you will have to find out on your own. The Ancestors only allowed me to give you that warning. The rest is up to you.” She glances over her shoulder as if someone called her name. Only there’s nothing there. “I have to go now. I’m sorry we don’t have more time to talk
.”

  “Wait!” I call out as she walks away. She smiles sadly at me and I feel that sadness deep in my soul. Our soul.

  “I’m sorry. The only other thing I can say is, be patient with Sheya. You two weren’t blessed to be born here. They formed feeling as if they were a separate person, trapped in a prison. Our Inner Self on Relvaria never feel that kind of way. They’re manifested within the magic of the realm, and they immediately know that they’re an extension of us. Shaye and I were instantly best friends, and I pray that you and Sheya experience that one day.” She looks back over her shoulder, a frown cresting her face. “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but don’t take the gift.” She sprints away from me, long black hair swaying behind her.

  “Ren! Wait!” But she doesn’t wait. She disappears into thin air. Before I have time to despair over her leaving, I’m sucked back into darkness. I begin to panic again, until a calming presence fills the space beside me.

  “You are never alone. Call on us, and we will always answer. You must go back now,” the voice says into my mind. I open my mouth to speak out to them, but I’m shoved back into my body with so much force, I pass out.

  I gasp awake, sweat slicked hair plastered to my face. I look around at my surroundings, confused as to where I am.

  “Thank fuck,” Sheya says. “I thought you’d never come back.”

  “What happened?” I ask.

  “You passed out from hypothermia. You were gone for the entire day. I figured you wouldn’t come back if your body was still in critical condition, so I built this cabin.”

  “You what?” I exclaim. “Is that why I’m so damn bone weary right now?”

  “Yes,” they say tiredly. “You should get some rest. I need to recover and your body needs it.”

  “But I had a dream-,”

  “Yes, I know,” they interrupt. “I can see it. Your walls are down. We’ll discuss it in the morning. Right now, making sure you’re strong enough to continue is my main priority. Goodnight.”

  I don’t know if it’s possible, but it felt like they walked out of the room and closed the door. Huh. Seems like Sheya had walls of their own. I lie back down, getting comfortable on my bed of leaves. Right before I close my eyes, a pair of grey ones catch mine from across the fire. Sitting back up, I look over to where the guys are sleeping, and a smile creeps over my lips. They’re piled on top of each other, and I can almost imagine them as teenagers sleeping like this after their dad adopted them. Caylen is sprawled in the middle of them on his back, with his arms tossed over Zavid and Titus. I look back at Titus and I give him a tentative wave. He cocks an eyebrow at me and mouths “Ren?” I nod my head, confirming that it’s me. He moves Caylen’s arm from over him and stealthily walks over to where I’m sitting. He crouches down until he’s at eye level with me.

  “Welcome back,” he whispers. “Sheya was hell.”

  “They take a little getting used to,” I quietly chuckle.

  “May I lay with you?” he asks. My heart beat increases and I try not to imagine all of the ways this can turn sexual. I mutely nod my consent and he sprawls out next to me. I lay back down, this time with my back facing the fire. Titus faces me, using his arm as a pillow, and he studies me with the most intense gaze ever.

  “What?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper.

  “Where did you go?” he asks. I don’t know exactly how to answer that question. The warning from Ren echoes in my mind, and I can’t be too sure that she wasn’t talking about the guys.

  “I don’t know. It was just dark and I was by myself. Then it felt like I was falling and I was back here.”

  He reaches out with his free hand to brush some of my hair from my face. I guess that Sheya put it up in a ponytail while I was gone. They always hate the length.

  “I’m sorry,” he mutters, a look of contrition adorning his face.

  “For what?”

  “For not paying attention to your condition. You kept walking at the same pace as us, without a single complaint, I thought you were acclimating like we do. We should have known that it would be harder for you.”

  “‘S’okay,” I mumble. “Sheya made sure that I was ok.”

  He laughs humorlessly. “Yeah, Sheya made it clear that they don’t trust us at all. Or like us.”

  “Yeah, they don’t really like anyone. Even me, sometimes.” A huge yawn overtakes me and I can’t help but feel like I’ve jogged up a mountain with a two ton backpack on.

  “You need to rest. What Sheya did… it was incredible, but it was also extremely dangerous. If you exert yourself too much without the proper training, you can hurt yourself.”

  “But if they didn’t build this shelter, I would have died.”

  “Yes, it was a lose/lose situation, in a sense. No need to stress about it. We’re here now. Rest.”

  I stare at him a little longer, confused by his sudden change towards me. “Why are you talking to me? You’ve made a point to not say a word to me since we started this trip,” I try to keep the hurt out of my voice, but I know that I failed by the way his brows rise over his eyes.

  “There’s so much I want to tell you, but I can’t. So it’s easier to not say anything at all.”

  “What does that mean?” I whisper.

  “I’m not permitted to say. I’m sorry, Renee.”

  Once again, I’m left in the dark about something that involves me. Frustration fills me for a second before immediately extinguishing. I don’t have the energy to get bent out of shape right now. Besides, if it’s something that I need to know, it’ll reveal itself. I just hope that it’s not too late when it does.

  20

  Renee

  I snuggle deeper into the surface that I’m lying on. My nose brushes across something that’s prickly and coarse, and it must be the leaves. But it doesn’t smell like it. As I get closer and closer to being fully awake, I notice something that should have been crystal clear from jump.

  I’m not snuggled deep in the leaves after all.

  I’m snuggled deep into Titus’ embrace.

  My right leg is hitched over his hip. My right hand is resting against the side of his face and my nose is pressed against his cheek. He’s asleep on his back, with his big hand resting against my ass, probably keeping my leg propped up. I try not to breathe too loud, or move in any way, to alert him to me being awake. I press a little closer to him, not being able to help myself to that small pleasure. His arms tighten around me and his hand grips my ass in a way that tips me off to him being awake.

  I move my head away from his cheek so that I can look up at his face. His eyes are open and he’s staring at the roof. The leaves hang down sporadically and it’s almost as if this place Sheya made was magical. He flicks his eyes down to look at me quickly before they go back to studying the ceiling. He begins to brush his thumbs across my shoulder and ass, and it’s almost a relaxing feeling. If he wasn’t stroking my ass cheek.

  He glances down again, as if to make sure that what he’s doing is ok, and it definitely isn’t. It’s a tease. I press my hips closer to his groin, and choked groan comes from his chest. Yeah, bud, two can play this game. My hand is still pressed to the side of his face, and I start to stroke his cheek in the same motion that he’s stroking my shoulder. I press down a little bit, turning his head until he has no choice but to look at me. Not giving myself too much time to think about it, I lean forward to press my lips to his. He responds immediately, not caring that I’m probably rocking some serious morning breath right now. His grip on my ass tightens and he hikes my leg even higher, until I’m practically straddling him with my lower body.

  I’m twisted like a pretzel, and although the position that I’m in isn’t the most comfortable, I refuse to stop. His tongue presses to the seam of my lips, demanding to be let in, and I do. I rub my hand on the back of his head, pressing closer to him so that I can drink my fill of his taste. It’s as if he’s pressing the air out of my lungs with how tight he’s holding me, but it’s
still not close enough.

  The hand on my ass inches it’s way under all of my layers of clothes, and it’s hotter than the fire blazing at my back. Someone must’ve restocked the wood last night while I was asleep, because it definitely shouldn’t have been roaring as hot as it is now. His deft thumb brushes across my sensitive nipple, and I moan into his mouth. His teeth clamp down on my bottom lip, but his tongue follows right behind to soothe the sting.

  I need more.

  I need to feel him against me.

  I need-

  “You guys want us to leave to give you a little privacy?” Zavid says dryly. I try to spring away from Titus, but he holds me against him, slowing down the kiss at his own pace. He presses three soft kisses against my lips before letting me go. I stare into his eyes, not really knowing what to make of that last gesture. Carnal desires are something I can understand. But those last three kisses felt like more.

  “Morning,” he rumbles, extricating himself from around me and sitting up. I follow suit, sheepishly tossing a look over my shoulder to Zavid. He’s leaning against the other side of the shelter, arms crossed over his chest. Caylen sits beside him, knees bent with his arms laid atop of them, and his chin resting on his arms. His eyes sparkle with mirth and there’s a devious grin on his lips.

  “Seems like I missed the party, again,” he jokes. Even though he’s clearly joking, there’s something else there that I can’t put my finger on. “Nice of you to come back to us, Ren.”