Whispers of Light

by Monroe, Jennifer

  Her mother gave a brief smile. “You are not happy, are you?”

  The question caught Isabel off-guard. Her mother was a widow herself; why would she ask such a thing? She of all people should know the grief of a widow.

  “I will be honest with you, Isabel, for I know you can handle the truth.”

  “Mother?” Isabel asked as worry coursed through her. Something terrible had to be happening for her mother to include her in her worries. “You may share anything with me, and I promise I will not disclose what you tell me to anyone.”

  “I know that, my child,” her mother whispered. “It is why I must tell you that I am unhappy, as well.”

  Isabel nodded. It was as she had expected all along. “It is why you have been withdrawn as of late. I spoke to Hannah and Juliet today. They have vowed to stop their bickering. If that is the cause, you have no need to worry, for it will end. Or at least they will make a better attempt to get along.”

  Her mother did not respond right away but instead continued her vigil out the window. Isabel followed her mother’s gaze. She could barely make out the light of the stars and moon overhead, but otherwise all she could see was the reflection of the room behind them.

  “When I first came to Scarlett Hall,” her mother said after a moment of silence, “I was taken by its beauty and size. There is truly no other place like it.”

  “I agree,” Isabel said, wondering where this line of discussion was headed. “Our friends who have traveled all over the world have said the same.”

  “Your father’s family built this home through hard work and honor.”

  Isabel could hear the choked tone, and she placed a hand on the woman’s arm. “Mother?” she asked, worried there was more to her mother’s sentiment. “Honor is still here within these walls. It is what has held it together, and it shall remain so for centuries to come.”

  Her mother spun so quickly to face Isabel that Isabel took a step back in startlement. “No,” she said. “Scarlett Hall may soon be lost.”

  Isabel stared at the woman. Had she heard correctly? “L-lost?” she managed to stutter. “I do not understand. How would it be lost?”

  Her mother sighed. “Since your father’s passing, debts have increased…”

  Isabel forestalled her mother. “Then we shall use our allowances to help pay this debt,” she said, certain it would be more than enough. She and her sisters received a very nice monthly allowance, and Isabel also received a small stipend from her husband’s estate as a part of his will. “I imagine that the small expenditures that my sisters and I forsake will help tremendously.”

  However, much to Isabel’s shock, her mother shook her head. “The debt is great. A sum not worth speaking, for it frightens me to utter the amount aloud. We have only two months in which to pay it or we lose our home.”

  “This does not make sense,” Isabel said. “How long have you known of this debt?”

  “For a few years now. I thought I could pay it off without seeking the aid of anyone, but I was wrong.”

  It was as if the air around her had been removed and the room began to spin. How could this have happened? They could not lose Scarlett Hall; not now, nor in the future.

  “No matter what attempts I have made to rectify the problems, they have only worsened.”

  Isabel did not miss the despondency in her mother’s voice, and although she sympathized with the woman, she could not stop the frustration that rose in her. “You have known about this for all this time, and now, with only two months remaining, you thought to mention it? I am not a child, Mother. I have been married, so I understand something about running a household. I could have helped in some way. I am certain Arthur would have offered…”

  “Yes, I know,” her mother interrupted. “I did everything I could to save our home, but you were a newly married couple and had your own family to worry about. Now, however, I have no choice but to ask you for your help.”

  Isabel heaved a sigh of relief. Finally, her mother was asking for someone else to carry the burden, and she was more than happy to do what she could to help. As she mentioned to her mother, the allowances would be of great assistance, she was certain, and if there was anything else she could do, she would agree. She imagined that if she sold most of her jewelry and a few of the heirlooms she had been allowed to take with her when she returned to Scarlett Hall, perhaps that would be enough to cover the debt.

  “Of course,” Isabel said with a smile. “What is it I can do?”

  “His Grace has offered…no, I will restate that. I have asked His Grace to help us.”

  “Laurence?” Isabel asked in surprise. She had not considered asking anyone outside of the family for help. Yet, what did that have to do with her?

  “Yes. He will take care of the debt and also lend his resources and knowledge in handling your father’s businesses to get them back into order.”

  Isabel smiled. “What a marvelous man he is,” she said. “And what aid can I give? Does he wish me to go with him on another outing? Or perhaps I am to join him for dinner?”

  “You will accept his hand in marriage.”

  Although the words were spoken softly, they had a firmness behind them that brooked no argument. Yet, Isabel could only stare at her mother in shock. “Marriage?”

  “It is the only way to save our home.”

  Tears of anger overwhelmed Isabel. How dare her mother do this to her! “I am to marry him?” she asked in utter astonishment. “I am to marry a man I do not love? I have not even a slight affection for him!”

  “I am sorry, my dear,” her mother began, but Isabel cut her words short.

  “Sorry?” she demanded. “You know my heart is broken and that I do not wish to ever fall in love or marry again!”

  “I have no choice,” her mother pleaded as she made an attempt to take Isabel’s hand in hers.

  Isabel, however, took another step back, wishing to put space between her and the woman who asked too much from her. “Once again I must take responsibility,” she said as she fought back the tears that welled in her eyes. “For the happiness of my siblings. While our mother runs our estate into near ruin and hides away, only to appear long enough to ask me to marry a man for whom I do not care.” She glared at her mother and refused to allow the woman’s pain to break through the wall she built around herself.

  Then the truth fell on her like a grand oak toppling to the ground. The proposal might make her angry, it might make her furious, but in the end, she knew she would agree. Therefore, she straightened her back and pursed her lips. “Very well. If I accept his offer, my sisters will be cared for and Nathaniel will have a home to return to when he is of age, am I correct in saying so?”

  Her mother nodded.

  “If I do not, all that I care about is lost, and the lives of those I love will be destroyed.”

  “I did not mean for it to come to this,” her mother said, a tear sliding down her cheek. “I had no other choice.”

  “You could have sought help sooner,” Isabel said, not caring that her tone carried accusation. “You could have taken control of the spending. There is so much we would have been willing to give up in order to ease the burden, but you never informed us. Instead, you offer a plate of your troubles to me.”

  “Oh, my Isabel,” her mother said in the fawning tone Isabel recognized when the woman wanted something from her. Oh, how she wished she could deny her!

  “No,” Isabel seethed. “You will not find mercy from me. Not after what you have done. My plan was to grow old in this house, and now, whatever choice I make, it is I who will be thrown out of Scarlett Hall. If I say no, we lose the house and we all must find a new home. If I agree, I marry Laurence and am still forced to leave. That is my reward for my decision. Either decision sees me removed from the home I love so dearly.”

  Her mother remained silent, and Isabel was glad she did, for if the woman made any other arguments, or tried to convince Isabel that the decision was some sort of wo
ndrous sacrifice, Isabel worried she would say something she would regret later, her anger was that great.

  “When does Laurence expect an answer?”

  “In five nights’ time,” her mother whispered.

  “I will give him my answer then,” Isabel said and then turned to head toward the door.

  As she reached for the handle, her mother called out to her. “I am sorry,” she said. “I did not mean to place this burden upon your shoulders. I simply had no choice.”

  Isabel did not turn when she replied. “Whether or not you meant to, the burden is now mine to bear.” She stepped through the door and closed it behind her. She stood there for a moment before what had happened came crashing down around her. However, she would not weep here in the open. She was no longer a child to throw a tantrum in the hallways as might have happened when she was younger and knew little of life. She would wait until she returned to the privacy of her rooms.

  Hurrying up the stairs, she made her way to her bedroom, but when she opened the door, she halted, for there upon her bed sat her sisters in their dressing gowns.

  “So?” Hannah asked with excitement. “What did Mother wish to discuss with you?”

  Isabel took a deep breath. How she loved her sisters so, and because of her love for them, she could not bring herself to burden them with what had been settled upon her. “Everything is better than fine,” she replied with a forced smile. “In fact, it is nearly perfect. Now, tell me what matters are you two discussing in my bedroom?”

  She joined her sisters on the bed, and they formed a circle, their legs crossed beneath them. And as they laughed and giggled and shared with one another, Isabel found her mind returning to the request her mother made of her. She struggled between being overwhelmed and being angry with the woman for putting her in such a predicament. However, as her sisters laughed and carried on, she pushed those feelings into the back of her mind, for she would rather hear their laughter and bickering than the sounds of misery that threatened to echo within the walls of Scarlett Hall.

  Chapter Eight

  The day arrived when Isabel was to give her answer to Laurence, and as she stood before the large standing mirror in her bedroom, she thought about the life this unobtrusive piece of furniture had seen over the years of the woman who stood before it. At one time, this mirror had reflected the laughter of a young girl. Then the smile of a woman as she anticipated her wedding. Now, the person who stared back at her wore a mask of sorrow. If one were to observe her, they would believe it was her reluctance for the upcoming nuptials that made her sad. However, her sorrows began well before her return to Scarlett Hall.

  Her hand went to a small ornate jewelry box on the table. She hesitated as she stared at the ring on her finger, the ring Arthur had given her on their wedding day three years earlier. Soon, another ring would rest on that finger, a symbol of love to the casual observer. However, she did not love Laurence, and she never would. How could she love a man who wed her under such circumstances? Any notion of love was impossible in such a situation.

  Yet, she would marry the man for the sake of her sisters and her brother Nathanial. It was their future that was important, and if that meant she was to be without love, then she would do so with a smile. Not to please her new husband, nor her mother, but for her siblings. For they were the future of Scarlett Hall.

  It was imperative no one learned the reason behind her marriage to Laurence, especially Hannah, for if she knew, her perception of marriage would only be solidified. The girl might believe she had no interest in love, but Isabel knew her too well; if she became a spinster, she would live to regret it eventually. Hannah might hide behind her books, but she had a passion within her that even she did not realize she carried.

  Juliet, on the other hand, would search for a man of wealth rather than marry for love. The younger of her sisters also had passion, but she did not hide it as Hannah did. All too often it got her into trouble, and if she was unable to express it properly—meaning if she did not marry a man she loved—who knew what would happen to her?

  No, they could not learn the sacrifice Isabel was making for the afore mentioned reasons, but also because they would do all they could to impede the wedding. If that were to happen, Scarlett Hall would be lost to them forever.

  Therefore, Isabel removed the ring that represented her former marriage, placed it in a box, and hid it away, along with her secret.

  With a sigh, Isabel walked to the door. She had heard a carriage arrive several minutes earlier, so now it was time to speak to Laurence about their upcoming marriage.

  Marriage. Just the thought of the word had her mind racing and made her stomach knot. Yet, she pushed aside the and forced her mind to consider not herself, but everyone who would benefit from this arrangement.

  She did wonder what benefit Laurence would receive. Was he concerned about heirs? Or, as she had considered before, was he simply lonely? Had he had an interest in marrying her all along? If so, for how long? Certainly, he had not found a sudden infatuation with her. And was the picnic and the words he spoke the day of their outing both means to win her over? Or had he been speaking the truth? So many questions, none of which she was likely to ask—or for which she would receive any answers if she was inclined to do so.

  She paused on the landing to look out over the foyer. Sunlight from the setting sun streamed in through the large window above the front door, creating a crisscross pattern of yellowish orange across the ceiling. How many times had she seen that pattern throughout her life? How often had she entered through that door as a child? And later as a woman? Soon, she would leave through that door for good, perhaps only to return a few times a year. Yet, had she not had these same thoughts the first time she was wed?

  With a sigh, she continued her journey to the drawing room. No amount of recollection would stop the moment from arriving, so there was no need to search for ways in which to forestall it.

  In the drawing room, she found her mother seated upon the sofa, Laurence in one of the set of two chairs across from it. When she entered, her mother smiled, but Isabel did not return it. She might be forced to show contentment to her siblings, but she refused to give her mother the satisfaction; it was her fault they were in this mess in the first place.

  Laurence stood and bowed, and she dropped into a flawless curtsy. Would he read the mocking in it? She hoped not, but she also could not help herself.

  “It is good to see you,” Laurence said as he waited for her to sit.

  “Thank you, Your Grace,” she replied in formal tones. If he expected her to be friendly, he was sadly mistaken. However, as he returned to his seat, she could not help but recall how charming he had been during their outing together, and she wondered if that kindness would transfer to their marriage. Or had it been his way of donning sheep’s clothing?

  “Now that Isabel is here,” her mother said as she rose from her seat, “I will leave you two alone to speak. Can I send anything in for you to drink? I can have a tea tray sent up, or Forbes can pour some drinks?”

  “No, thank you,” Laurence replied. “Unless Isabel wishes something?”

  The question rang inside Isabel’s head. Did she wish for something? Indeed, she wished for this marriage to not take place. She wished her mother had not squandered their family’s fortune to leave Scarlett Hall in ruins. She wished her father were there to ease the burden; he would have known what to do, and that would not have included marrying her off to some duke she did not love.

  “No,” she said instead. What good would come about by speaking her thoughts? They would only complicate matters, and in the end, she would marry the duke anyway.

  Isabel’s mother nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her. A silence that seemed to last an eternity remained, and Isabel considered that perhaps the man was just as nervous as she. Yet, that made no sense; he was a duke, not some young boy who knew nothing of the world.

  “Have you considered my offer?” Laurence aske
d, breaking the silence. “That is…our marriage?”

  “I have,” Isabel replied.

  However, before she could continue, Laurence spoke again. “I would like to explain several things before you answer. Do you mind?”

  She shook her head. “No, I do not mind.” She wondered if he would explain his expectations for her. Perhaps that was a good idea. No one wanted to enter a marriage without knowing what he or she was getting into.

  “If you agree to this marriage, which I hope you will, I promise I will do everything I can to make you happy.” He sighed as he placed his hands on his knees. He was nervous! “I do not believe that money can bring joy, but it does make life less miserable.”

  “That is true,” Isabel replied. “For without it, well…” She allowed her words to hang in the air.

  “I realize we are not marrying for love; however, I do not believe that in itself is horrible. I am open to exploring it when the time comes.”

  What she wanted to tell this man was that she could never love him. That she had tried love before and would not take that chance again. Instead, she offered what she thought would appease him. “I believe we are compatible in many ways. I look forward to that.”

  Her words clearly placated him, for his face beamed with a large smile and, although she did not feel it, she returned the gesture. She was well-practiced at pretending to be happy.

  “That is wonderful,” he said. “I believe the same. In fact, I believe this marriage will be a blessing to us both.” Isabel went to ask why he would believe such a thing, but he barreled past her with his words. “I have longed to be happy, and together, we can explore this new relationship. You will bring the happiness I need, and, perhaps, I can do the same for you.”

  His words were thoughtful but not realistic. What did this man know of heartache and the destruction of one’s soul?

  Then it occurred to Isabel that Laurence might not love her, but he did care for her, which was more than she would have if her mother had arranged for her to marry some old baron or a rogue simply because he was willing to pay off the debt she had acquired. Her life could have been so much worse.