Feared

by Lisa Scottoline

  “Certainly. John Foxman was an associate at my office. He worked for us for about four years. His parents are dead, he’s unmarried and the guardian of a brother with cerebral palsy, William Foxman, who resides in a group home in the suburbs. I can get you the address if you wish.”

  “I would appreciate that.” Detective Krakoff made a note. “Now, it’s my understanding that Foxman was referred to in a lawsuit that was recently filed against your law firm for reverse discrimination. Is that correct?”

  “Yes,” Bennie answered lightly.

  “We saw video footage of a press conference that took place yesterday, in that regard. He intended to leave the firm. Can you tell us about that?”

  “It’s self-explanatory, isn’t it?” Bennie shrugged. “He was looking for another job and was going to leave the firm. That was fine with us, even though we were surprised to learn it at the press conference. We employ people, not imprison them.”

  Detective Krakoff made another note, and Mary hid her nervousness. They weren’t going to get any more information and they were entering a danger zone.

  “Did the victim have any enemies, that you know of?”

  “Not that we know of.”

  Mary knew this line of questioning could end up close to Judy. Bennie couldn’t reveal the fact that Judy was dating John, nor could she lie outright to the police.

  Detective Krakoff made a note on his pad. “How about friends of his? Did he have a group of friends?”

  “We assume so, but we don’t know.”

  “How about a girlfriend?”

  Suddenly Mary jolted in her chair, her hand flying to her belly. “Oh, yikes. That doesn’t feel good.”

  Detective Krakoff looked over. “Pardon me?”

  “Ouch!” Mary grimaced. “That felt weird. It felt like a contraction, but it could have been a kick. Probably it’s just Braxton-Hicks, but you never know.”

  Bennie’s eyes flared with credible concern. “DiNunzio, do you need to see a doctor? Do you want me to get an ambulance?”

  “Oh no. You mean, the baby’s coming?” Detective Krakoff grimaced in alarm, and Mary nodded in bogus pain.

  “I hope not, I doubt it, I’m only seven months, but you never know. I think I need to go home and lie down. Sorry, Bennie, I hope you don’t mind if we go.”

  “Not at all.” Bennie rose, picking up their purses. “We can’t take any chances, especially after you were already rushed to the doctor today.”

  “I agree, you’re reading my mind.” Mary rose, her hand on her belly, hamming it up. “Detectives, sorry, but I had a medical emergency earlier, well, you don’t need the details, but my doctor said I had to take it easy. And this feels like a contraction.”

  Bennie took Mary’s arm. “Detectives, I’m taking Mary home. It’s been a long, hard day. She needs to rest.”

  “Of course.” Detective Marks nodded, agitated. “Do you have a ride?”

  “The car is outside.” Mary took her purse from Bennie. “Ooh, that hurt! You never know, and I don’t want to have a baby right here. Maybe we could do this another time, Detectives?”

  “Anytime, yes.” Detective Krakoff nodded, vaguely flustered.

  “Bennie, let’s go.” Mary headed out of the interview room, rubbing her belly.

  “Good-bye, Detectives!” Bennie called behind her. “We’ll be in touch.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Mary let herself into her house, setting down her purse in the entrance hall and following the soft light emanating from the living room, where she wasn’t surprised to see Anthony asleep on the couch with Judy’s golden retriever curled up on his stocking feet. In contrast, Judy was awake in the chair-and-a-half by the window, looking exhausted and numb.

  “Mare, how did it go?” Judy started to get up, but Mary waved her back down.

  “Stay put, I’m coming over.” Mary crossed to the chair and kicked off her flats, so her feet could swell to Fred-Flintstone proportions.

  “You must be starving. You want a slice? I can heat it up for you.” Judy gestured to the coffee table, which held a cardboard box of pizza, a few bottles of water and soda, and a Greek salad that released the aroma of feta cheese and onions despite its plastic clamshell.

  “No thanks, I’m fine.” Mary picked up a bottle of water, twisting off the cap and taking a slug. She wanted to stay hydrated, but she didn’t feel like eating.

  “Are you okay? You must be so tired. I’m sorry to put you through this.”

  “You’re not putting me through it, honey.” Mary drank more water. “Can we both fit in that chair?”

  “You mean, all three of us? Totally.” Judy managed a smile, removing one of the pillows and shifting over to make room for Mary, who squeezed in beside her.

  “Cuddly.”

  “Right?”

  “We need it.”

  “We sure do.” Judy dabbed at her eyes, which were bloodshot and swollen. “So what did you find out? They’re not saying anything on the news, just that he was a lawyer and he was murdered.”

  “We got the basic facts, but do you want to hear them?”

  “Yes.” Judy nodded, sniffling. “I cried all the tears I can cry, at least for now.”

  “They don’t have any suspects yet and they won’t tell us if they have any witnesses.” Mary met her best friend’s gaze directly and softened her voice to ease the blow. “They think he interrupted a burglar. His electronics were gone, and he was killed by a blow to the head.”

  “Oh no.” Judy moaned, her eyes glistening. “That’s terrible. That’s terrible.”

  “That’s all we know. We don’t know anything else, not even who found him or anything like that. We talked to the detectives on the case and we got as much information as we could, for now.”

  “No suspects?”

  “No, it’s too soon.”

  “No witnesses?”

  “They won’t say.”

  “They don’t even know what time he died?”

  “If they do, they’re not telling us.” Mary knew that John’s body would already be at the Medical Examiner’s Office and his autopsy would be scheduled for tomorrow. It usually took a few days to process and release a body, but this wasn’t the time to review those details with Judy. Mary wanted to shift the topic from the gruesome details. “The only bright spot is that I ran into Detective Azzic, who I used to know. He told us what we know and he might be a way to find out more in the future. But that’s it for tonight.”

  “That’s it?”

  “That’s it. We tried.” Mary patted her leg. “You know how Bennie is. She cross-examined them.”

  “Like she did me, about seeing John.”

  “Right.” Mary flashed on Bennie’s question, back in the interview room before the detectives had entered. “She feels bad about that, she told me.”

  “She did?”

  “Yes,” Mary answered, though it was only partly true. Judy needed the comfort tonight, and Bennie had felt bad about giving Judy a hard time. Plus, a white lie was only a venial sin.

  “I know why she said it, I get it. I knew she’d feel that way, that’s why I didn’t tell her. I know it didn’t make it right, but it wasn’t like that, it was…” Judy’s sentence trailed off, and her gaze wandered over to the couch, where Anthony and the dog were sleeping. “It’s just so sad, that’s all, and in any event, it’s the definition of a moot point. John’s gone, so whether he was an associate and I was a partner doesn’t matter at all.”

  “I’m so sorry, honey,” Mary said, though she had said it before, many times. She remembered that when she was grieving her first husband, she hadn’t understood why people said I’m sorry, since it wasn’t their fault. But now, she understood. It really meant, I’m sorry this happened to you, and that moment of empathy made us human.

  “He was such a sweet guy. I tried to call William’s cell, but there was no answer. They have to turn their cell phones off at night in the group home.”

  “H
ow well do you know William?”

  “Pretty well. John would go out there, mostly every Sunday, and I went with him lots of times. William saw me more often than his aunt and uncle. His aunt is their mom’s older sister, Susan Hodge. Her husband’s name is Mel.”

  “Do you know them?”

  “No, never met them. John wasn’t that close to them, and I bet they don’t even know about me.” Judy’s gaze stayed on the couch. “I’m guessing the police were able to reach the Hodges, since they’re next of kin. John was so orderly, he probably has them as the emergency contact for him and for William. So they probably reached William. I guess I’ll leave it to them to tell him, right? They’re family.”

  “Right,” Mary said, though her definition of family was changing as she’d gotten older. She had grown closer to Judy and further away from her own twin sister, Angie. Even though Mary had been raised in a family where blood was as thick as tomato sauce, she felt as if Judy were her sister. And she was starting to understand that family was something you weren’t born with, but chose.

  “I really am sorry I didn’t tell you about John and me.”

  “Don’t worry, I understand.” Mary patted Judy’s leg again. “I know you love me.”

  “I do, I really do, and I knew you wouldn’t tell Bennie. It’s just that, it was like we wanted to keep it to ourselves, like, our thing. You know, John and I are so different, were so different, and I just didn’t know how it would be, out in the open. We’re not the likeliest couple. The preppie and the goofball.”

  “You’re not a goofball.”

  “Well, whatever.” Judy’s gaze returned to the couch. “It’s like we were incubating, you know? I told him that once. I said, ‘Let’s see if we just grow on our own, see what hatches.’ He was fine with that, he didn’t want anybody to know, but honestly, his reason for keeping it secret didn’t have to do with what Bennie would think or anybody else.”

  “Then why?”

  “He was more private, naturally. That’s why I’m not totally shocked that he didn’t tell me he wanted to leave the firm, or that he felt the way he felt about why he didn’t make partner, or even that he was interviewing. He was a big processor, like, he brooded. He would’ve told me when he was ready, when he had it sorted. He kept himself to himself.”

  “That’s a perfect description of John.”

  “Isn’t it?” Judy dabbed her eyes. “I was crazy about him, I really was. We’re so different, but it was yin and yang, you know?”

  “I bet.” Mary had wondered about that. “So opposites attract?”

  “Not exactly, but close, but I think in some ways we had the same take on life, and deep inside, we were alike. Like even though I’m more confessional and never shut up about my emotions, he felt things very deeply. He was a private guy, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have emotions. It just meant he didn’t talk about them.”

  “I understand.” Mary nodded, thinking when she had mistaken Bennie’s businesslike manner at the crime scene for professionalism, when it was really just a cover. “You and me are so yappy, we don’t always get it when people aren’t.”

  “Exactly.” Judy’s mouth set in a forlorn line, the corners turning down. “John and I were happy, really happy. I couldn’t have been happier. I think he was too, even though he was less vocal about it, but we were in love, we said it, I said it first, of course, because you know how I am, but he said it later, at a Phillies game of all places.” Judy almost smiled at the memory, her gaze still in the middle distance. “He loved baseball and we went all the time. He was so excited about the season. It just started.”

  “You went to a baseball game?” Mary asked, incredulous. Judy always said she avoided anything with a sportsball and rules you couldn’t break.

  “Yes, me.” Judy’s eyes flared happily. “I got the hat and everything. I even ate a hot dog. Me, a vegetarian.”

  Mary smiled. “Did you like it?”

  “Of course, I’m not crazy, and it was so fun to go, especially because John always buys the program and writes down the hits and runs, whatever, I don’t even know why, but he did it. He has a record of every baseball game he ever went to.”

  “I’ve seen those guys at the game, writing stuff down. I can’t believe he was one of those guys.”

  “He said it made it more fun but I used to tease him because he never really smiled when he did it, he just became absorbed, and anyway, this one time, I forget which game, one of the players hit a home run, and the cannon went off and the scoreboard went crazy, and he was so happy, he hugged me and he said, ‘God, I love you.’”

  “That’s so cute.”

  “He was cute, he really could be.” Judy gestured at the couch, and tears brimmed in her bloodshot blue eyes. “You see Anthony over there, with the dog?”

  “Yes.” Mary didn’t know where she was going.

  “It’s just so nice to be in this house, with your sweetheart of a husband and a great dog, in a really nice, quiet room. And now you’re going to have a baby, and I’ve been sitting here, and I have to tell you this is all I really wanted in my life.” Judy’s eyes filled, and she gestured around the room. “What you have here. What’s in your living room. And not that I’m jealous of you, I would never be, and you know that, but I want these things, this is all I really want, this happiness, this quiet, this peace. A family of my own. And I almost had it, this time.”

  Mary’s heart went out to Judy all over again, understanding the depth of what her best friend had lost. Not only John, but the possibility of what could be, their future.

  “I’ve had great boyfriends in the past, like Frank, he was great, but he wasn’t the right one. I didn’t have it with him, but I had it with John. I know I did, and I would’ve loved to have been married to him. I could see it happening. We would’ve been so happy together, we were really happy.” Judy sniffled. “We really were, and now he’s gone. Really gone, for good.”

  “Oh boy.” Mary put her arm around Judy, and Judy rested her head on Mary’s shoulder, wiping her eyes with the soggy Kleenex.

  “It just really sucks.”

  “I know.” Mary hugged her closer, and Judy shifted in the seat, straightening up.

  “Oops, I almost forgot. I have something for you.” Judy bent over on the far side of the chair, reached down for something on the floor, and straightened up with a gift in her hand, wrapped in wrapping paper covered with daisies. “Open your present.”

  “My present?” Mary had almost forgotten. “From the baby shower?”

  “Yes.” Judy rallied, with a crooked grin.

  “You are so nice. You want to do this now?”

  “Are you too tired?”

  “No, but it’s a sad time.”

  “All the more reason.” Judy smiled bravely. “That’s The Way of the Tao.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yes. The Tao is full of paradoxes. The Sage would tell you that there is no better time to open a gift than in a time of sadness.”

  “In other words, cheer up?”

  Judy smiled. “Exactly. Maybe it’s not so paradoxical?”

  “Whatever, just don’t join the cult.”

  “It’s not a cult, it’s a world religion.”

  “I know, I’m just kidding. Meanwhile, were you really going to become a Buddhist nun?”

  “I thought about it.”

  “You never told me.”

  “Because you think it’s a cult.” Judy smiled.

  “And they have nuns?”

  “Yes, and priests too. But no guilt.”

  “Too bad.” Mary smiled back, unwrapping her gift, quietly, so as not to wake Anthony. Ordinarily, she would’ve shared it with him, but no matter how good the marriage, a girl still needed alone time with her best friend, especially on a night as sad as this one.

  “I hope you like it. I’m having present anxiety.”

  “Don’t be silly.” Mary took the wrapping off and set it aside, revealing a flat recta
ngular white box. She shook it, prolonging the moment. “What’s in here?”

  “Edible undies.”

  “Don’t be disgusting.”

  “Why stop now?” Judy grinned, with a final sniffle, and Mary took the lid off the box, then moved aside some hot pink tissue paper to find one of the most beautiful baby blankets she had ever seen. The design of the fabric was absolutely miraculous, a weave of fuzzy threads in a warm pink alternating with cornflower-blue threads, which together formed a sweetly fluffy cloud of babyness.

  “Oh my God, did you make this, on your loom?” Mary took the blanket out of the box, marveling at how soft and light it felt in her fingers.

  “Yes, it’s my first big project. I mixed the two colors since we don’t know whether you’re having a boy or girl.”

  “That’s a great idea!”

  “Do you like it?”

  “I love it! Thank you so much. How long did it take to make?”

  “Forever. Do you feel guilty yet?”

  “Yes.” Mary felt a wave of happiness wash over her, followed by a wave of sadness, as if she were in an emotional wave pool at a nightmare amusement park. “This is really lovely of you to do, and I really appreciate it. I’m so sorry about John.”

  “I know honey. I’m sorry too.” Judy sighed heavily, and Mary felt a final wave, this time of exhaustion. Maybe it was the release, nestled into the safety and security of her home, her best friend, her husband, and a golden retriever with worse gas than her own.

  “Boy, am I tired.” Mary pulled up the blanket to her chin. “I could fall asleep right here.”

  “Why don’t you, honey?”

  “I can’t, I shouldn’t.” Mary closed her eyes, and weariness numbed her to the bone. She had never known exhaustion like the kind that came with pregnancy, which could make her almost crazy with tiredness at times, but she had so much to do before bed. She had to empty the dishwasher, make sure Judy had fresh sheets, and put towels in the guest bathroom and find a tube of toothpaste that wasn’t folded in an accordion …