The Color of Her Panties

by Piers Anthony

  A new cloud formed in the air between them. Whose dream was this? But it didn't form a picture; rather the entire cloud assumed a shape. The shape became that of a woman, a grown woman, with a voluptuous figure and clothing designed to advertise every curve and contour. Then the face formed, and it was familiar.

  "Metria!" Gwenny exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

  The demoness drifted to the floor, peering at her. "The goblin girl," she said. "I might ask you much the duplicate." "Much the what?"

  "Alike, identical, double, reproduction, transcript, replica, remake—"

  "Same?"

  "Whatever," she said crossly. "I am here on business. I thought you were going home to be monarch."

  Gwenny elected not to correct the misnomer. "I am trying to, but I had to meet my little brother in a challenge. He changed the paper, and I had to fetch what was between the roc and the hard place. So we came here to fetch the crystal egg, only we're in trouble."

  "Now that's interesting. How soon do you think you'll be through here?"

  "If I'm not back at Goblin Mountain within another day, nothing will matter. So I guess I'll be through in a day, one way or another."

  The demoness produced a notepad and pen, and made a note. "I'm working for Professor Grossclout now, setting up the special bleep, and I have to survey exotic settings such as this one. So I'll report that it will be clear next year. Thank you."

  "A special what?"

  "That's not a confusion, it's a censorship. I'm not allowed to say anything about it. I tried to sneak into it to find out, because curiosity is my dominant emotion, and I did see Nada Naga rehearsing, but the professor caught me, and no one ever told the professor no on anything. So now I know all about it, but can't tell anyone else. It's a phenomenal frustration."

  "Well, can you maybe help us while you're here? Che and Jenny are locked in a cage, and I'm lofting Roxanne Roc, but it's an impasse and I don't know what to do."

  "Oh, hasn't the rescue party found you yet?"

  "What rescue party?"

  "The one the Simurgh's going to send, when she learns of this." Metria looked around. "It will be interesting to see whether she learns of it in time. Well, toodle-oo."

  "The Simurgh doesn't yet know?" Gwenny cried despairingly. But the demoness was already fading out.

  Gwenny was alone again. Her friends remained caged, and the egg was tied down. There just didn't seem to be any chance to save them and the egg and get back in time.

  She pondered, and came to a conclusion. She did not have to be chief. She was not sure she was qualified for it anyway. But she just could not let her friends be eaten.

  "Roxanne," she said. "I came here to steal your precious egg. I admit that. I would be willing to borrow it and return it, but I don't think you'll agree. So now I'm ready to compromise. Let my friends and me go, and we'll leave your egg alone."

  The bird considered. But Roxanne had heard what the demoness said, and now knew that Gwenny was desperate. Her thought cloud showed Gwenny falling asleep, when the roc could then get back to the floor and grab her.

  "But you also heard that the Simurgh does have an interest in us," Gwenny said.

  It seemed that Roxanne dismissed that as irrelevant or as an attempt to fool her. She would wait.

  "Then I'll bash you against the wall!" Gwenny cried, suddenly furious. She waved the wand, causing the bird to circle wildly in the air. But she did not follow through, because she feared that Roxanne would sink her talons into the wall and so regain her footing, which would give her the victory.

  Gwenny cast about for something else. She saw the rocky region where she had hid for a moment. That was a rock garden! Now she remembered that rocs liked rocky things, such as rock candy, rock music, and rock gardens. That must be the bird's private garden.

  "I'll mess up your rock garden!" Gwenny said.

  Roxanne squawked. That had gotten to her.

  "Let my friends and me go," Gwenny repeated.

  But the roc wouldn't. So Gwenny walked back to the rock garden, which she saw was composed of rocks of several sizes ranging from large to huge. She pushed against one, but it was too heavy for her to budge. They all were.

  Well, she could use the wand. She brought it around—and the bird gyrated. Oops! If she used it on a rock, she would have to let Roxanne go, and that would be disastrous. She couldn't make good on this threat either.

  Gwenny sat on a rock, baffled. The guilty sparkle that stained them was finally fading, but that didn't make any difference now. Two of them were caged, and the third was mostly helpless.

  She felt tears starting. What was she to do?

  CHAPTER 15.

  Rescue

  Okra Ogress reached out and grabbed Mela on one side and Ida on the other, holding them steady as the roc-ket seed capsule exploded. Fire and smoke billowed out all around them, and the capsule shook as if grabbed by a giant. Then, slowly, it rose in the air. Mela and Ida were frozen with their eyes welded closed, but Okra of course lacked the wit to do that, so she was peering out through the transparent seed casing.

  She saw the capsule rise up through its own smoke, which was coming from the bottom end of it and bouncing off the ground. It went up higher than the great Tree of Seeds, and headed for an innocent cloud floating above. The cloud, affrighted, tried to scud out of the way, but the roc-ket seed was too swift for it. The capsule caught the edge of the cloud, and knocked the cloud into a spin. Rain sprayed out as the cloud lost continence. It did not look pleased.

  Now the capsule was headed up toward the sky, fire and smoke still thrusting from its base. OGRESS—GUIDE THE CRAFT, the Simurgh's thought came. POINT IT AT THE NAMELESS CASTLE.

  "But where is the—?" Okra started. Then she saw a panel, and on the panel were several little pictures. Some were of mountains. One was of a mountain with a big tree at the top, like Mount Parnassus. Another had goblins swarming over it. That would be Goblin Mountain. Another was flat-topped mountain: Rushmost. Another showed creatures sleeping: Mount Ever-Rest. Several more pictures were of castles. One had a zombie by it: Castle Zombie. Another had a grumpy old gnome by its turret: the Good Magician's castle. Another was in a lovely orchard: Castle Roogna. And one was perched on a cloud.

  Okra pondered a moment, and thought for another moment, and cogitated for a third moment, and considered for a fourth moment. At that point her head was beginning to overheat, so she knew she would have to stop. That meant that she would have to take the fourth choice: the castle in the air. That had to be the Nameless Castle.

  CORRECT, OGRESS. NOW SET THE INDICATOR THERE.

  There was a glowing dot. At the moment it was in the middle of the sky, but it was too small to be the sun. Okra's arms were both busy holding her companions in place, so she used her nose to nudge the dot across the panel to the Nameless Castle.

  The capsule veered wildly as the dot changed position, but steadied on a new course when the dot was left on the Nameless Castle. Okra hoped that meant that the capsule was now headed for the right place.

  CORRECT. PART OF YOUR TASK IS DONE.

  Part of it? "What's the rest of it?" Okra asked. But the Simurgh did not answer. Probably she had more important business to attend to. Why should she care about a minor character ogress, except as a momentary tool to accomplish a purpose?

  The craft, as the Simurgh had called it, was now flying horizontally across Xanth. Okra pondered that a moment, and managed to translate the key word into one she understood: level. The craft was flying level instead of up. The Land of Xanth was zooming along below.

  They seemed to be flying northeast, back the way the griffins had brought them, but faster. Soon Okra saw Lake Ogre-Chobee again. Her home region seemed so different from above! She had never dreamed that she would go so far or have such adventures when she set out to achieve Main Character status! There was the Kiss-Mee River she must have paddled up. But the craft did not follow the river north; it continued northeast across the jungle. Ju
st as the great sea to the east came into sight, the capsule slowed. The fire stopped belching from its tail, and it coasted to a halt on a cloud. It bounced and lay still. It had arrived.

  Okra removed her arms from her companions. "Relax, friends," she said. "We're there." She slid open the panel, and fresh air wafted in. "But don't stray far; we're on a cloud."

  "A cloud!" Ida exclaimed as she drew herself out of the compartment. "How can that be?"

  "The roc-ket flew to the Nameless Castle, which happens to be on a cloud," Okra explained. She poked a finger into the cloud stuff, testingly. "It seems strong enough to support us—and the castle."

  Mela emerged, brushing back her hair with one hand. "I thought we were being incinerated," she confessed. "Other things being equal, I'd rather drown."

  "But merfolk can't drown!" Okra protested.

  "Precisely."

  They stood and looked at the castle. It was as white as the cloud itself, with cloud gray shadows. It was large enough for a tribe of ogres. Okra wondered why it didn't weigh down the cloud and make it sink to the land below. But of course it was magic, and magic didn't have to account for itself to anything else.

  "Roxanne must be inside," Mela said. "She must be a mean-spirited woman, if she is going to eat a centaur."

  "Maybe she's a demoness," Ida suggested.

  "Or an ogress," Okra said. "Most of them are more ferocious than I am."

  Mela frowned. "That brings to mind a possible problem. If Roxanne likes to eat folk, what is to stop her from eating us?"

  "But we are bringing her the seed of Thyme," Ida said. "So she shouldn't eat us." But she seemed uncertain.

  "Would the Simurgh have sent us here if we were only to be eaten?" Okra asked.

  Mela smiled, faintly reassured. "No, I think she expects us to find a way around the problem."

  "Maybe we could use the seed of Thyme," Ida said, "to protect us, until we can give it to her. Then maybe she won't want to hurt us."

  "But how do we use it?" Mela asked.

  "Well, Okra was seeded, which I suppose must mean that she was given the seeds until she could pass one on. Maybe she can use it, the way she used the roc-ket."

  Okra looked at the seed still in her hand. She had no idea how to use it.

  "Maybe you can invoke it," Mela suggested. "That's the way some magic objects are used."

  Okra held the little sphere up before her. "I invoke you, seed of Thyme," she said.

  Nothing happened.

  "But of course you still have to make it do something," Mela said. "Tell it to do something thymely."

  "Thyme, speed me up," Okra said.

  Still nothing happened. "Any more ideas?" she inquired.

  Neither of the other two answered. They stood as if frozen, not even blinking. What was the matter with them?

  Okra walked to the edge of the cloud and looked down. Xanth lay below, with the edge of the sea in sight. Nothing seemed to move there either.

  Then Okra realized that if she had speeded up, but the others hadn't, it might be this way. "Slow me down, Thyme," she said.

  Mela and Ida blurred into action. Their voices came like the quacking of frenzied ducks. One zipped out of sight, then back. What a change in them!

  But there was a change in the rest of Xanth, too. In the distance the sun nudged on toward the horizon, as if impatient to be done with its day's work. The gray shadows of the castle grew longer. She could see it all happening.

  Oh. Xanth hadn't really speeded up; she had slowed down too far. "Make me normal again, Thyme," she said.

  "...must tell it to speed you up again," Mela was saying. "Please, Okra, we don't have much time!"

  "I'm back," Okra said.

  "Oh, wonderful!" Mela said. "First you got blurry fast, then you were like a statue. It must be the magic of the seed of Thyme."

  "Yes," Okra said. "So if Roxanne attacks us, we can just speed up and get away from her."

  "I wonder whether it also affects others?" Ida asked. "It seems me that if it can affect one person, it might affect another."

  Okra tested it. "Thyme, speed Ida up and slow Mela down."

  Ida became a blur of motion. Mela became a statue. "Quick, Thyme, change them back!" Okra said.

  Ida slowed to normal, and Mela quickened to normal. The three compared notes, and concluded that the seed of Thyme could indeed affect others.

  "That means it can slow Roxanne down, without affecting us," Ida said. "That might be the best way."

  Mela looked at the castle. "Maybe we should slow the whole castle down," she said. "So that if Roxanne is about to eat Che, she won't do it before we come in to rescue him."

  Okra faced the castle. "Seed of Thyme, slow everyone in the Nameless Castle down," she said.

  Nothing seemed to happen, but they realized that that was deceptive. They walked up to the castle.

  The drawbridge was up and the portcullis down. The moat was full of water, and they did not quite trust what might be in it. But Okra solved that. "Water, slow down."

  The water froze. They walked across the frozen surface.

  But how were they to get into the closed castle? There were no low windows, and the door was firmly shut.

  "Maybe you could bash a hole in the wall," Ida suggested. "The way you bashed steps into the cliff."

  Okra made a fist and tried a tentative bash. She managed to chip off a flake of cloud stuff. "This stuff doesn't seem tough, but it is," she said. "It will take me some time to bash a hole in it."

  "I don't think we have a lot of time," Mela said.

  "Then speed us up," Ida added. "So that we can get into the castle quickly."

  Okra speeded the three of them up. Then she started bashing. The work was slow, but they had plenty of time, because she was actually working quite swiftly. She bashed a dent in the cloud wall, and then a depression, and finally a hole. Then she put in her hand and yanked out more around the edge, widening it until it was big enough for them to crawl through.

  They did so, and found themselves in an empty cloud chamber. The door was closed, but Okra pushed it open. When they passed through, it slammed closed again. Mela tried the handle, but the door was locked. It seemed that it would open only from the inside.

  Now they were in a small hall. Its walls were made of cloudstuff, as was everything else here. They followed it until it debouched into a medium hall, and followed that until it emptied into a large hall. That hall proceeded on into the depths of the castle, making the acquaintance of other halls of its size and accepting the tribute of smaller halls. This was one huge castle!

  They came to another closed door. This time they fetched a cloud couch and used it to wedge open the door, so that they could return this way without having to bash the door down. Then they moved on out into what appeared to be a huge dining hall, to which every other door was closed.

  "It's a good thing we are speeded up," Mela remarked, "because otherwise we would not be getting anywhere fast."

  "Maybe the folk here are upstairs," Ida said. For they had seen no sign of any person other than themselves.

  That seemed to make sense. They looked for stairs, but wherever they were was sealed behind another door. So Okra piled chairs on the dining table, and stood on them so that she could reach the ceiling. Then she bashed a hole in it. This, too, took time, but there was no other way.

  When the hole was big enough, Okra drew herself up through it. She was on the floor of a monstrous chamber. There in the center of the chamber was a huge pedestal supporting what looked like a nest. Floating above the nest was a roc bird. What was going on?

  Okra helped haul Mela and Ida up into the upper chamber. The three of them remained speeded up, while the creatures in the castle remained slowed down, so they did not have to hurry. They stood beside their bashed hole and surveyed the situation.

  "Roxanne!" Ida exclaimed. "She's the bird! Rocs-Anne!"

  On the floor below the bird was a rather pretty goblin girl holding a wand
. The wand was pointed at the bird as if holding the roc at bay. To the side were several cages, and in one of the cages was a winged centaur and an elf girl.

  The centaur would be Che, whom they were supposed to save from getting eaten. The elf would be Jenny.

  Okra's eyes narrowed. That was the one who had taken her status as a main character! She certainly didn't look like much. She was big and ungainly for an elf, and her ears were pointed in a way Okra hadn't seen before. And her hands—she was missing one finger of each hand! What had happened to her? More important, what could there be about this odd creature to make her worthy of major character status?

  "That must be Gwendolyn Goblin with the wand," Mela said. "I think I once heard something about a magic wand the goblins had that would move things around. So maybe she's been moving the roc away from her, so she won't get eaten."

  "And the roc caught the other two before," Ida agreed. "Maybe we should free them first. Then we can bring the goblin down through our hole, and take them all out before we give Roxanne the seed of Thyme."

  That made sense to Mela. Okra wasn't sure about releasing the elf, but decided not to argue. They had to complete their mission for the Simurgh, so that they could return to Naldo Naga and gain their quests.

  They went to the cages. These were set above the floor, but it was easy to climb the rough wall to reach them. Okra went up, and found that the cages were tied shut. She tried to untie the knot, but it wouldn't budge. So she bit through it instead.

  The knot screamed. But she didn't care how it felt; it should have let her untie it. In a moment she had it severed and the cage door open.

  Then she took the loose cord left over from the knot and tied it around the body of the winged centaur in a crude harness. She carried him out and dropped him down, using the rope to prevent him from falling. Mela and Ida caught him below and guided him to a place on the floor. It was surprising how slowly he fell through the air—but of course he was falling at the normal rate, which seemed far slower than it was. They untied the rope so that Okra could pull it up.