Now Presenting (I'm No Princess Book 1)

by Elizabeth Stevens

  “Well let’s just make sure he doesn’t see us then! This place is huge. What’s the likelihood that he’ll be in the exact same place we want to be?”

  “You know what Mum would say?” Lia asked me as she fluffed her hair out from under her collar and picked up her coat.

  I smiled. “I do. That we should purport ourselves with the most fun as we can.”

  “And this is why Mum isn’t Duchess Genovich,” Lia reminded me.

  “This is why I will never be Duchess Genovich,” I reminded her back.

  Lia hugged me and whispered, “Thank God,” in a teasing tone before she hurried to her door.

  “Oi!” I followed her with a laugh and we pulled up short when we saw Nikolai and Neil standing out there. “Ah…” I started. “I don’t suppose you guys want the afternoon off?” I hedged.

  Neil shook his head. “Nie.” He was even more dour than Nikolai.

  I nodded. “Ah well, worth a shot.”

  Lia grabbed my hand and we took off down the corridor like we were half our age.

  “Try to keep up, boys!” Lady Malmont cried, void of any ladylike qualities for once as we clattered down the stairs with a laugh.

  Maids and manservants jumped out of our way with a smile or a gasp of shock as we tumbled to the front hall, bumping into two people who didn’t jump out of the way in time.

  “Kostin!” Lia said, somewhat breathlessly as she chuckled nervously.

  I nodded to them, somewhat more composed. “Kostin. Nico.”

  “Ladies,” Nico replied as smoothly as ever. “Where are we off to in such a hurry?”

  Lia and I looked at each other and tried not to giggle.

  “I would say outside,” Kostin said slowly. “Judging by their attire.”

  I swallowed a nervous laugh. “Yes. Nice walk ought to do us good, I thought.”

  “Why don’t we join you?” Nico asked, looking to Kostin.

  Kostin looked thoroughly undecided.

  “Come on, brother. Let’s have some fun for once.” Nico nudged Kostin with his elbow and I saw the decision wavering in Kostin’s eyes.

  Kostin murmured something Nico in Gallyrian.

  But Nico scoffed. “We behave all the time. All we do is behave. For Parliament. For Father. For Uncle Max.”

  “Behind closed doors is one thing, Nico…” Kostin said quietly.

  “It’s about damned time the monarchy changed. And who better to change it than us? We should be allowed to be normal not just behind closed doors.”

  Kostin sighed and finally nodded. “Fine. Let me get my jacket.”

  Nico grinned at me and his eyebrows jumped.

  I tried to frown at him and failed. “I know the sort of fun you’re after, Prince Dominic, and you are shit out of luck.”

  Nico winked at me. “We’ll see, Anya. We’ll see. We’ll meet you outside in a few minutes?”

  Lia and I nodded and, as the boys strode off talking, Lia grabbed my arm. “So…?”

  “So, what?” I asked, watching Nico and Kostin disappear up the stairs and, yes fine, admiring their arses.

  “What’s up with you and Nico?”

  I snorted. “A big fat nothing is up with me and Nico.”

  “That is not what Nico seems to think.”

  I rolled my eyes as I steered her outside. “He’s flirty. He’s the same with you.”

  “He’s…almost the same with me.”

  I scoffed. “Yeah. Next you’ll tell me he hasn’t kissed you, either.”

  Lia pulled us up short at the bottom of the front stairs and made me face her. “What?” She looked caught between shock and humour.

  “What, what?”

  “He kissed you?”

  I looked her over. “Does he not kiss everything that moves?” I asked her.

  She smirked. “He hasn’t even tried kissing me.”

  “Oh, boy…” I said slowly, looking up at the front door while Lia sniggered. I whacked her. “Not funny.”

  “It’s hilarious. This is why you can’t encourage him.”

  “The press already think I’m here to marry Dmitri. The last thing I need is Nico actually being interested!” I hissed, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the whole thing.

  Lia took my shoulders in her hands. “Relax, Tati.” Her lips were a barely concealed smile. “That and more will be thrown around in the next few years. I was fifteen when I arrived and they haven’t stopped talking about how I’m here to marry a prince.”

  “How do you deal with it?” I asked.

  “I ignore it. I know my heart and I know Dad’s. He didn’t bring us home for anything except to have us close.”

  “But, at uni–”

  “They know me. People either know me or they wonder if the rumours are true. There’s nothing we can do but do the best with what we have, Tati. No one actually cares when they meet us if we’re here to marry a prince. If anyone asks, you say no and they move on.”

  I looked at her sceptically and she laughed.

  “I promise, Tati. No one who knows you will ever believe you’re here to marry a prince.”

  I tried hard not to smile at that. “Exactly what are you saying?” I asked her.

  “I wouldn’t dare say anything. I don’t have Dmitri’s balls–” She squealed as I lunged at her and laughed as she ran.

  “You come back here, Natalia!” I yelled as I chased her.

  She leapt nimbly over a hedge and I followed suit slightly (read: very) less nimbly.

  “I’m sorry, Tati!” she called back to me with a laugh as she ran, steadily pulling ahead with her damned superior athleticism.

  Then I was pulled up short as she ducked and I had a snowball in the face before I had a chance to get out of the way. We froze, staring at each other for a few moments while we waited for the other one to move. I only just saw the smirk on her face as I felt the snowball in the back and I whirled around to see Nico juggling another one.

  “You!” I pointed at him, unable to stop my laugh.

  “Battle of the sexes?” he asked, that infuriatingly sexy smirk playing at his lips. “Or youngest versus oldest siblings?”

  “Siblings!” I called, knowing Lia would love a chance to be on Kostin’s team.

  I saw Nikolai and Neil were hovering a little way aways, scowling with disapproval. I waved at Nikolai, which earned me a small tip of the right side of his lips and made Neil frown even harder.

  Then Nico had dived at me, knocking me over with a, “Get down, my lady,” and a snowball went whizzing through the space I’d previously occupied.

  We fell in a pile of giggles and limbs behind one of the hedges and our noses bumped as I looked at him.

  “You saved me,” I told him as I heard Lia yell, “Kostin, you’d better not let me down!”

  “Do I gain points or lose them for saying I will always save you, my lady?” he asked and there was a slight hint of sincerity about him that freaked me out a little, but then the twinkle was back in his eyes and I remembered he was just that good at the game.

  I huffed a laugh as I grabbed a handful of snow. “If we win, you get points.”

  He grinned. “You’re on.”

  He grabbed a couple of handfuls of snow as well and we jumped up to pelt our opponents at the same time. I got Kostin in the face, which I felt bad enough for long enough that he managed to hit me with one of his own. I gave him a mock-gasp of betrayal before bending down to get more snow.

  And the four of us ran around the lawn and gardens for I didn’t know how long, pelting each other with snowballs. It became quite obvious quite quickly that Lia and Kostin were the better team. I only managed to hit one of them by sheer dumb luck and Nico was just not quite good enough to pick up my slack.

  I was hiding behind a hedge when he launched himself over it to drop beside me, panting heavily. “Next time, I vote we build forts.”

  “Eskimo style?” I laughed.
r />   He leant forward and rubbed his nose against mine. “Eskimo style,” he agreed.

  I couldn’t help but find that a little bit cute. “You and your points get out of here and defend my person,” I told him.

  “Oh, points for that?” He grinned and I nodded.

  “Points for that.”

  His smile was sincere for about a quarter of a heartbeat, then he was launching back over the hedge with a war cry and a handful of snow.

  And the game went on.

  I had no idea how long we were out there. Only that my hands were so cold when it came to a screeching halt as I turned around and ran smack into Dad, Dmitri, Rex and some people dressed all sorts of fancy. I huffed a stray piece of hair out of my eye and did an awkward half bow/curtsey.

  “Uh, hi…” I said.

  Then one last snowball smacked into the back of my head, spraying the men with snow. I bit my lip, knowing I was in for a world of pain.

  “Tatiana,” my father started.

  “Dad…” I stopped, wondering how wise it was to connect the two of us. “Uh, your majesty…” I curtsied low to Rex, but the humour playing in his eyes told me that he didn’t much care what we were up to, even if he had to act like he did and I wondered if that was this behind closed doors business Nico and Kostin were discussing earlier.

  “What are you doing?” Dad hissed.

  Lia, Nico and Kostin arrived at my side and I didn’t miss the way Nico’s hand hovered at my back, or the way Dmitri’s eyes seemed focussed on it.

  “Uh, well…” I started, but Lia continued, “We were having a snowball fight.”

  “It’s my fault,” I said hurriedly, throwing her a look to shut up.

  “Do you not have somewhere to be, Tatiana?” Dad asked and I quailed.

  “Um…no?”

  “Ambassador Franklin, you won’t have met Duke Genovich’s youngest, Lady Tatiana,” Rex interceded.

  The guy I assumed was Ambassador Franklin shook his head. “No. I haven’t. Pleasure, my lady.”

  I nodded. “You too, Ambassador.”

  “Of course you remember Lady Malmont,” Rex continued and Ambassador Franklin greeted her as well. “I’ve always thought it good to get in some exercise in the winter months. Don’t you, Max?”

  Dad was glaring at me in a way that told me he didn’t want to be and that something else was playing out here. “Of course, your majesty.”

  “And I do so find a snowball fight to be good exercise.” Rex gave me a wink and I looked down to hide my smile.

  “Indeed, your majesty,” Dad said stiffly.

  “Shall we continue?” Rex asked and I felt the men moving off.

  As I looked up, Dmitri was looking at me. There was a slight moment where I forgot myself entirely and thought he was asking me why on earth Nico’s hand was so keen on being on my back. And stupidly I knew my eyes answered the question as I gave him a small shrug. Because, let’s be honest, it wasn’t Nico’s hand I wanted on my back, it was Dmitri’s.

  Oh, and with that, you get a serious timeout! I told myself.

  I didn’t want anyone’s hand on my back because I’d been in the country for two freaking weeks and I wasn’t going to be falling for anyone. Not crown princes. Not normal princes. Not dashing officer cadets. Not bodyguards. Not Joe Bloggs.

  But Dmitri’s eyes didn’t leave mine and it made it hard to forget for a moment that I wasn’t falling for anyone.

  “Your highness?” Dad said.

  Dmitri took his eyes off me momentarily to look at Dad. Then he gave me the most imperceptible nod before he continued on with Dad and the other men.

  I breathed out heavily and spared a laugh for the others. “I’m dead.”

  “Dad’s going to kill you,” Lia agreed, with a wry smile.

  “We can put you under the protection of the state,” Nico said, almost succeeding at deadpan.

  “Father would not let anything happen to you,” Kostin added.

  “I appreciate the sentiment, fellas. But I’m done for.”

  Nico’s joviality fell a little. “Arnell was not your fault, Anya. If you’d let me–”

  I took his hand with a warm smile. “Thanks, Nico. But we all know I should have ignored him.”

  “Uncle Max might listen–”

  “He’ll be more likely to listen to me or Mitya, Nico,” Kostin said almost apologetically.

  “Well, then you say something!”

  “Nico…” I started and Lia nabbed Kostin’s attention and drew him away. Nico looked at me intently. “I get you’re… Well actually, I don’t know what you’re trying to do. I appreciate you care, but trust me. Dad and I need to work this out.”

  “Anya…” He took my hand and I almost wondered if there was something more to the playboy prince.

  “It’ll be fine, Nico. I promise. I’m in the doghouse for like a week or two, or I’m dead and we won’t have to have a ball. Either way, win-win.”

  The corner of his lips twitched and I knew he was supressing a smile. “Win-win?”

  I nodded. “Win-win.”

  He whisked me up and started putting me through my dance steps.

  “Nico,” I laughed. “What are you doing?”

  “We’re practising.”

  I laughed as I followed his lead. “Practising?”

  Nico nodded.

  “Ah…” I thought I knew where this was going. “One less thing for him to be pissed off about?”

  “Exactly. Now, dip!”

  I giggled as he dipped me, then huffed as another snowball hit us, and the game was back on.

  Chapter Eleven

  It was a night for catching up with people from home. Mum and I had done a chat online in which I’d convinced her to try Skyping me for a little while and we’d not done terribly. Although I’d spent more time looking at the tippy top of her head than her face because she couldn’t get the angle on the camera right.

  We’d caught up on all the gossip; good, bad and ugly. The ugly here mainly pertained to my major stuff ups and Mum reminding me that Dad was going to love me no matter how long I was on Probation for. The bad pertained to the fact that I still couldn’t dance properly and my presentation ball was going to be awful. And the good pertained to the fact that Mum had finally managed to fix up that wall in the bathroom after the towel rail had ripped a hole in it.

  Then I’d had a good chat with Jenn and Bea.

  There was good news on the Rosie front. Sort of. Rosie and Jenn had kissed, except Rosie’s previous/current/ex/on-off girlfriend was…complicated to say the least, so a proper date or any definition of relationship was yet to be established. Still, I was flirting with one brother (even if it was supposed to be harmless) while I was drooling over another, so I could hardly judge Jenn’s choice of crush.

  As for Jack, Bea was assuring me that was a no-go while Jenn was telling her to shut the F up because he was obviously hot for her. But Jenn was likely to firmly believe that any of our crushes liked us (except her own) because she was one hundred percent behind us and thought we were the most awesome people who lived. Case in point, Jack had apparently asked another girl out… So, if he was hot for Bea, he was going about it in a very weird fashion. But again, who was I to judge really?

  “He’ll get around to it, Bea,” Jenn said adamantly and I wanted to agree with her, but…

  “He asked out another girl, Jenn,” I reminded her while shooting Bea an apologetic look.

  “So? He’s playing hard to get.”

  Bea, bless her massive heart, just snorted. “If hard to get is dating someone else, then I would like to opt out of dating. Please and thank you.”

  We all laughed and, even though we were all in our own rooms plonked in front of a camera, I felt like maybe we weren’t as far apart as we felt.

  “I feel you,” I moaned.

  “Oh, yeah,” Jenn grinned, “how are those princes going?”

 
“Oh my God! What have you read now?” I asked.

  Bea’s giggles erupted as a link popped up in my Skype chat. I clicked on it and sighed.

  “Really?” I asked. “They’re talking about this shit at home?”

  Jenn sniggered. “I think RAdelaide thinks you’re our Mary.”

  I didn’t want to be anyone’s Princess Mary – Australia’s claim to royalty, who had married the crown prince of Denmark.

  “I’m no one’s Mary. If anyone was anyone’s Mary, it would be Lia!” I hissed as though anyone was going to hear me; Nikolai, Gerta and Shelly had been dismissed for the night and I’d been one of the last to leave dinner about two hours previously.

  “Okay!” Bea smiled. “Calm the farm. No one wants you to be their Mary.”

  “Screw you,” I chuckled.

  “No, that’s Jack’s job,” Jenn said.

  “Jenn!” Both Bea and I chastised her and she just shrugged like she was sorry that Bea was the most amazing person she’s ever met.

  Bea was still shaking her head at Jenn as she looked at her watch. “What time is it there?” she asked.

  I looked at the time on my laptop. “Uh, about half midnight, why?”

  “Shouldn’t you be wandering down to the kitchens in the hope that a certain crown prince is there?”

  “Oh, yes!” Jenn cried with a wicked smile as she pulled her long hair up into a pristine bun without even looking.

  I snorted. “That was a one-time fluke,” I told them.

  Bea shook her head so adamantly her curls bounced. “Yeah, nah. He’s been totally waiting for you every night since.”

  “Oh my God,” I laughed. “There is no interest there.”

  “That’s not true,” Jenn said. “You’re very interested in ripping his clothes off and exploring his body with your tongue.”

  “Dude!” I giggled, then shrugged and gave a conceding nose wrinkle. “In my dreams, yes.”

  We were all still laughing when Bea’s phone went off.

  “Shall we call it a morning? Night for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere?” Jenn asked.

  I nodded. “Yeah, s’pose.”

  “Go find your handsome prince!” Bea ordered as she blew us a kiss, answered her phone, and left the chat.