“Bleu wants to adopt her. That’s crazy, right? Taking on a baby who doesn’t belong to us when we have two of our own on the way?”
“I think Bleu feels complete for the first time in her life. She finally has the ability to nurture. That’s what she wants to do.”
“But we have two babies on the way who she can nurture.”
“You’re failing to see what’s happening here. Lourdes has been orphaned. Bleu sees herself in that child. She wants to save that sweet baby the same way she was saved by Harold MacAllister.”
“I might feel the same if there were no one to take her. But we have a good family who wants to adopt her.”
“That window is closed, Sinclair. Bleu’s in too deep. She’s fallen head over heels in love with that baby.”
“You don’t think that will change when our twins get here?”
“No. She’s a mama bear and she considers Lourdes her cub. You couldn’t pry her from Bleu’s arms if you tried. And you don’t really want to do that. You love that little girl too.”
“I’m fearful of how our lives will change with three bairns.”
“I can promise you it will be crazy. But you’ll get by. And you’ll look back on it one day and wonder why you were so scared.”
Speaking to my mum changes my perspective. I feel like I’m able to see things from Bleu’s point of view for the first time. “I appreciate the talk.”
“Anytime, son. Can I do anything for you before I go?”
“Are there plenty of bottles?”
“Aye. I sterilized and mixed six just before you came home. They’re in the fridge. That should be more than enough to get you through to morning. You can probably expect her to wake up hungry in about thirty minutes. You should take one out now so you don’t have to heat it.”
“I’ll do that.”
“Call if you need anything. I can be back in five minutes.” Buying a house so near was the best decision we ever made.
“I will. Thanks, Mum.”
I grab a bottle from the fridge and go into our bedroom to see my sweet Bonny Bleu. I was only gone two days but I missed her terribly.
She’s napping in the middle of the bed, her upper body propped by two pillows since she can’t tolerate lying flat. Lourdes’s sleeping soundly on her chest only inches above Bleu’s swollen abdomen.
It’s in this moment that I realize these might not be the three most important people in my life—they could be the four most important. I’m not sure I can ask Bleu to let Lourdes go because I’m not sure I want to give her up, either.
I don’t wake Bleu. Instead, I sit in the corner chair and take in the beauty of my family. My wife. My children. I don’t deserve any of them but by some miracle, they are mine.
Just as Mum predicted, Lourdes fusses for her feeding at the thirty-minute mark. Bleu wakes and rubs her back. “Hey. It’s okay, sweet girl.”
I catch Bleu’s attention when I get up from the chair. “You’re home! How long have you been here?”
“I got in about forty-five minutes ago.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
“I couldn’t. You and Lourdes looked so peaceful.”
Lourdes begins fussing louder. “I think our moment of peace just ended.”
Bleu reaches for the bottle but I hold on to it. I haven’t seen her in two days, either. “I’d like to feed her, if that’s okay.”
“Of course.”
I climb into bed next to Bleu and take Lourdes from her chest. She opens her mouth and searches for the nipple with her tongue. “She’s a greedy little thing.”
“Yes. Her appetite has really increased this week. She’s taking up to four ounces a feeding now.”
“How did her appointment with the pediatrician go? Has she gained weight?”
“Her appointment isn’t until tomorrow. Of course I’m not going to be able to take her since I have a long-standing engagement with this bed. Your mom is carrying her for me.”
I don’t have anything scheduled at the office tomorrow. “I think I would like to take her. That is, if my mother will go with me. I don’t feel confident doing it alone.”
“Isobel was going to do it anyway, so I’m certain she won’t mind going with you.”
I’m guessing Bleu sees pediatrician visits as her job but I want to have an active role in my children’s lives.
“Did you see Lainie while you were in Dublin?”
“I did. She’s quite well. Seems to be fitting in perfectly with The Guild.”
“I’m happy she’s all right, but I wish she were here instead. I’d really like her to come back to Edinburgh once this mess with The Order is over. Perhaps join us.” I like Lainie as well but that will open a whole other can of worms considering she’s Order and was once married to its leader. Even I might not be able to convince the brotherhood a change like that would be okay.
“She sent a gift for the babies. I put it on the dresser.”
Bleu gets up to snatch the package. I laugh because her waddling has worsened.
“What?”
I’d be crazy to tell her. “Nothing.”
She climbs back into bed and tears into the present before I can blink twice. She lifts the top of the box. Inside are three silver coins engraved with a B.
“What are these?”
“Some Scots believe it’s good luck to place silver in an infant’s hand. I guess each baby is getting their own personal piece as a keepsake.”
I told Lainie we had taken in an orphan but I never mentioned keeping her. I guess she assumed.
“I love these. They’re very thoughtful.”
Lourdes has sucked down half of her bottle so it’s time for burping. I lean her tiny little body over my hand and pat her back just the way Bleu showed me. “We’re going to figure all of this out, aren’t we?”
Bleu leans over and kisses the top of her head. She places her finger inside Lourdes’s tiny palm. She instinctively grasps it. “I think we already have.”
Chapter 21
Bleu Breckenridge
It’s official. I’m thirty-seven weeks pregnant with twins. Full term. My pregnancy lasted longer than we ever thought it would. Weight gain. Stretch marks. Pelvic pressure. Insomnia. That’s just the shortlist. I’ve achieved a level of misery I never dreamed possible.
My belly is getting sliced open tomorrow. That’s okay because it means we’re getting babies. We will finally meet our children. I can hardly wait to know what we’re getting. Boys, girls, or a combo package.
I’m showered and shaved. Everywhere. Can’t lie. That wasn’t an easy thing to accomplish. But I did it for Sin. I want to give him one good night before his six-week dry spell.
I’m wearing the only piece of sexy lingerie I have that still fits over my tummy. Sort of. A baby-doll top with matching G-string. My breasts are spilling out of the top but I don’t think he’ll mind.
I’m standing next to the bed when he comes into our room. He doesn’t notice me. I guess he thinks I’m still in the bathroom since he calls out. “I think Lourdes is finally down for the night.”
“Is she?”
He stops dead in his tracks. “What do we have here?”
“You, Mr. Breckenridge, have a wife who’d like to show you a good time before our six-week vacation from knowing one another.”
“I do enjoy getting to know you better.”
“I thought you might.”
He comes to me. I go up onto my tiptoes and lace my fingers through the back of his hair as I kiss him.
His hands are at my lower back. He pulls me closer but it’s mostly my belly pressing against his.
We move toward the bed, kissing en route, before we stop next to it. His hands are exploring my breasts through my baby-doll top. They’ve gotten bigger the last couple of weeks, so they’re really jacked high.
“These are fantastic.” He caresses each one before pulling my top up and over my head. He thumbs my nipples, watching them harden. I fist
the back of his hair when he takes one into his mouth.
I should probably warn him. “They’ve been leaking. A lot.”
“Maybe that’s why they taste so damn sweet.”
When he finishes, he pushes my panties down my legs. I’m left standing completely naked before him. He steps back, looking me over from head to toe, and I suddenly feel self-conscious about my body like never before. I clasp my hands in front of my large belly because I’m afraid my stretch marks will turn him off.
He comes to me and caresses my bump. “Please don’t cover yourself. I love looking at your pregnant body. The only thing I see is the beauty of my children growing inside you.”
He pulls me close and my abdomen presses against his again. He holds my hips as he drags his lips over my shoulder. “What position is going to work best for you?”
It used to work best with me on top before this last round of bed rest. But my belly is much bigger now. I’m not sure I can ride him like I did five weeks ago.
It’s going to be a long time before we get to do this again. I want it to be good for him. “I can get on my stomach––sort of. I mean I can get on my hands and knees. Maybe.” That may not work, either, if the weight of the babies is too heavy in that position.
“I think I know a better way.”
We sit on the bed and slide to the middle. “Lie on your side.”
Once I’m situated, he positions himself as though he’s going to spoon me from behind. He bends my top leg at the knee and pulls backwards so it’s resting over his legs. “You came across this during your research, didn’t you?”
“Maybe. I’ve been wanting to try it for a while. It’s supposed to be very pleasurable during pregnancy. Seems this is my last chance since you won’t be pregnant after tomorrow.”
He positions himself at my entrance but doesn’t enter me.
“Something wrong?”
“It’s been a month since the last time we did it so I’m giving my cock a pep talk, trying to convince him he doesn’t have to come after three strokes.”
“If he doesn’t obey, you can always do it again.”
“You know I’m always the hardest on round one, so I’d rather make it last a while if possible.”
He kisses my shoulder in the bend where it meets my neck. He eases into me slowly and groans. “Fuck, that’s good stuff!” He pulls back and thrusts slowly again. “I can’t believe how tight you feel.” He moves inside me a few more times. “Is this good for you?”
I move my hips to deepen the penetration. “Mmm-hmm.”
He bends my knee and puts the sole of my foot flat against his top leg so my leg is hiked out. He reaches between my legs and strokes the sensitive spot above our union. “Is it okay to make you come?”
“Yes. Please. And thank you.”
He circles my clit fast and hard and then slow and soft. He’s stroking me on the outside with his fingers while his cock does the same job against my G-spot on the inside. It’s fucking fantastic.
It’s been too long. I’m the one who’s going to come in three strokes. “Shit. It’s already building.”
He’s moving faster now. “Come all over me. I want to feel your body quiver and contract because you’re orgasming so hard.”
I move my hips, meeting Sin stroke for stroke. Then the first wave arrives. “Ohh… that’s it. It’s starting.”
“I’m there with you, Bonny.”
Very little sets him off faster than hearing me say that he’s making me come. I think it’s because he loves knowing he’s the only man in this world holding the power to shatter me into a million magnificent pieces.
My orgasm feels different, like quivers radiating throughout my vagina. It’s tingly and weird. I assume it’s because my womb is so full and pushing my cervix lower.
When he’s finished, he kisses my bare shoulder. “That was fantastic.”
I still and the babies suddenly become very active. I put my hand to my belly and it gets kicked. “I do believe they’ve been provoked.”
“I want to feel.”
Sin places his hand on my abdomen. I grab his wrist and move his palm to where most of the action is happening. “My God. They never cease to amaze me. Won’t you miss this? Feeling them move inside you?”
“Maybe a little.” But I won’t miss all the other discomforts that accompany a twin pregnancy.
“I can’t believe we get to meet them in fourteen hours. Still no premonition?” Sin asks.
“Two babies. That’s all I’m certain about.” I wish I did have some sort of mother’s intuition.
“Don’t you think we should have their names since they’re arriving tomorrow?”
The boy names are half chosen. “Well, we know one will be Liam something. And the other will be Harrison something if we get two boys.”
“Aye. The something part is what we have to work on.”
It’s such a hard decision. “Have you thought of anything new?”
“How about we combine the boy names if we get one. Liam Harrison?”
I like it and the combination makes sense. “That would work.”
“We have Harrison after Harry but what about MacAllister for a girl? We could call her Alli.”
Alli. It’s sort of like Elli. “Yes. I like it. And I’ve been thinking about Avalyn.”
“Aye. Alli and Avalyn go together well. At least we have one name per child. That’s progress.”
I’m too excited to sleep so I’m very aware when the contractions begin. I’m accustomed to having mild ones but these are closer and stronger. The ones I’ve had over the last hour are downright painful.
I get up to walk hoping it might relieve the discomfort in my back. It doesn’t. I try a warm shower. The pain only becomes worse. I give up on any relief after an hour. I have to wake Sin so we can go to the hospital. I’m going into labor.
I turn on the lamp by his bedside and say his name. I nudge his shoulder when he doesn’t stir. “Wake up, Breck.”
After a third attempt, he finally awakens. His eyes widen. “What’s wrong?”
“We have to go to the hospital. I think I’m going into labor.”
“Okay. We need to call Agnes to come stay with Lourdes.”
“Already done it. She’s on the way.”
He sits on the edge of the bed and reaches for his prosthesis. “Do you want to call the family now or wait until we get there and find out what’s happening?”
“I think your mom would never forgive us if we didn’t call but let me get dressed first so she doesn’t beat us to the hospital. We can call her and Ellison when we’re on our way out the door.”
“At least we’re already prepared to do this today.”
Sin goes to my set of drawers. “What do you want to wear?”
I’m all about comfort right now. “Yoga pants and a T-shirt. Second drawer.”
“Black or gray?”
Another contraction is starting. I can already tell it’s going to be a bad one. “Don’t care.”
“Which shirt?”
I breathe deeply and slowly. “Again, don’t care.”
Once I’m dressed, I pull my hair into a ponytail and brush my teeth. “All ready. We can leave as soon as Agnes arrives.”
Sin’s impatient. He calls Isobel to let her know what’s happening. “Mum says she can come stay with Lourdes until Agnes arrives so we don’t have to wait.”
Agnes lives thirty minutes away. And she’s older, so she’s slower about getting here. “The pain is getting much worse. That might not be a bad idea. Tell Isobel I would very much like her to come. And thank her for me.”
Sin relays my message and promptly ends the call. “You must be in a lot of pain since you agreed to let my mom come now.”
I can’t lie. “It’s getting bad, Breck.”
I’ve known since I was early pregnant that I would likely have a C-section. That’s where my mindset has been for months. I’m not prepared for labor. I thought I would get to
bypass this part.
“No worries. Mum will be here in a minute.”
I’m leaning over the sofa, holding it for support. “My lower back is killing me.”
Sin comes to me so he can rub it. “Up? Down?”
“Lower. Both sides.”
I have a couple of really bad pains before we hear the sound of a car in the drive. “Thank God she’s here.”
“See? Good thing we bought this house instead of one thirty minutes away.”
Isobel comes in with a change of clothes and her cosmetic bag. I’ve never seen her without makeup. For the first time, I see more than a little resemblance between her and Sin.
“Thanks for coming so quickly.”
“Happy to.”
“Agnes shouldn’t be long.”
She holds up her change of clothing. “I’ll be ready to go as soon as she arrives.”
“I have to kiss Lourdes before we go.”
I go into the nursery and stand over the crib to look at my sleeping angel. I love her so much, it hurts.
I try to bend down to kiss her but my belly gets in the way. Instead of waking her, I kiss my fingertips and transfer it to her cheek. “I love you, girlie girl. I’m going to miss you.”
I’ll be back in a few days with your brothers or sisters. I don’t say it aloud but it’s what I’m thinking.
I feel like crying.
“We’ll be back before you know it.”
“I can’t imagine three days without her. It’s going to break my heart.” If I can barely manage a few days, how will I manage forever? Sin probably thinks the twins will fill the space in my heart reserved for her. But that’s not true.
I can’t think about this now.
The drive to the hospital is almost unbearable. The pain is worsening by the minute. “This could get crazy fast. The baby coming first is breech. If I’m dilated a lot, I think they’re going to have to do an emergency C-section.”
This is one of those times when living thirty minutes away from Edinburgh is a problem.
Shit. I just remembered I forgot to call Ellison. “Guess… what.” I drag the words out like only a true southerner can do.
Complete Sin Box Set Page 68