One Perfect Summer

by Brenda Novak

  She grabbed the hot pads so she could put the pasta in a bowl. “On me?”

  He came over and took the pan out of her grasp, putting it back on the burner. “What am I doing here?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Is this all about sex? Or are you willing to care about me?”

  Serenity’s mouth went dry. “I—I don’t know,” she stammered. “Do we have to make that decision now? I mean...as long as we enjoy each other—”

  “No,” he said, adamant. “We’ve known each other too many years for that. If you don’t agree to give me a fair chance from the get-go, I’m not convinced you’ll ever open your heart.”

  She was tempted to step away from him, but he had her wedged between his six-four frame and the stove. “I’m not out to hurt you, if that’s what you’re intimating.”

  “I know that. I wouldn’t be interested if I thought you were that type of person.”

  “How can you be interested in me at all?” she asked.

  His eyes widened. “Are you kidding? I’ve wanted you since the first moment I laid eyes on you. You’re all Sean’s ever had that’s made me envious.”

  Her mind raced as she sifted through her memories. “You never even gave me a second look.”

  “Because you were married. But you’re not anymore. I want a real chance with you, but I don’t want to be sleeping with you while you look for someone else, someone you deem more...fitting or whatever.”

  She could feel her heart thudding in her ears. She’d never expected Sawyer to be so direct. But as intense as their lovemaking had been, she could see why he might’ve expected their relationship to change, and why he was probably confused that it hadn’t. “We had sex three times in one night,” she pointed out.

  “Believe me, I remember.”

  “Well, obviously I’m attracted to you.”

  “That’s not the same thing. I thought you’d call, but you didn’t.”

  “I texted you.”

  “Weeks later.”

  “You could’ve called me,” she countered.

  He shook his head. “No. You needed to be the one. I’d already told you I wanted to see you again. You had to decide whether you felt the same.”

  She said nothing.

  “And now here we are,” he went on. “Is this a repeat of last time—or the start of something new?”

  Turning back to the pasta, Serenity went ahead and put it in a bowl.

  “Serenity?”

  “I’m not sure I can get over the fact that you’re Sean’s brother.”

  “Why? What’s that got to do with anything?”

  “It’s...weird, awkward.”

  “Even though Sean and I aren’t actually related?”

  “His family is your family! How will I explain that to anyone? What will my family think?” She refused to admit that her mother had suggested Sawyer as a possible match for her; there were more people in her family than Charlotte. “What will the Alstons think?” she added. “You saw how Nina reacted.”

  “So others might think badly of us. What does it matter if we haven’t done anything wrong? Are you going to let other people get in the way of what we feel?”

  She faced him again. “You say we haven’t done anything wrong, but I feel I must be doing something wrong, just because of who you are. And I don’t want any more ties to the Alstons.”

  “I would never ask you to be around them. I know they haven’t treated you well. I doubt they’ll ever forgive me, anyway.”

  And she doubted it would be that cut and dried. They were all the family he had. Surely he’d miss them and want to repair his relationship with them eventually. What would she do then? If she’d learned anything about becoming a couple, it was that staying together required compromise. And extended family did matter.

  They were certainly a bigger part of the equation than she’d realized when she married Sean. If she got with Sawyer, she’d have Sean’s family in her life—would possibly have Sean in her life once he got out of prison, which was an even more horrific thought.

  Would that drive her and Sawyer apart in the end?

  Why take the risk? There were plenty of other men out there. Why did she have to choose this one?

  “It’s not that simple,” she said.

  “It is to me.”

  “Sean will be out of prison soon.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I don’t ever want to see him again—not as long as I live.”

  He grasped her shoulders. “Serenity, he and I are not a package deal. I would never put you in that position.”

  “It’s not just that. Getting into a relationship with you, especially so soon, would make me doubt myself.”

  “In what way?”

  She tried to articulate her confusing thoughts and emotions. “I’m afraid I’d wonder if I ever really loved my husband, or if you were the one I wanted all along.”

  “Is that true?” he asked.

  She squeezed her eyes shut. “No. I loved him. I’m sure I did. But then I met you and...and as much as I fought it, and refused to acknowledge it, there were times when...”

  He leaned in closer—until she could smell the familiar scent of his skin, which only weakened her resolve. “When...”

  “I dreamed about you.” She shook her head. “God, I can’t believe I’m even admitting that.”

  “Why?” he said. “It’s exactly what I need to hear.” He pulled her up against him. “I don’t know where this will go, Serenity. All I’m asking is that you don’t rule me out from the beginning.”

  “After what I’ve been through, another relationship, especially with you, is too scary.”

  He rested his forehead against hers. “I understand that. But at least I also understand what it was like for you in a way most other people couldn’t. Part of the reason I admire you is that you’re one tough chick.”

  When she chuckled at his response, he held her face in his hands. “I also think you’re beautiful as well as brave.”

  As soon as he kissed her, in a very different way from before—sweeter and with more meaning—she could hardly regret her decision. She and Sean had had a good marriage before he did what he did. It had been pleasant and companionable and fine. She’d been satisfied. Had he been as decent as she’d thought, they would’ve made it.

  But she’d never experienced the kind of raw passion Sawyer evoked. There was something to be said for that, too.

  Maybe she was heading straight from the frying pan into the fire, as the cliché went, but what a way to go.

  * * *

  lorelei

  Lorelei shivered in spite of her jacket. It wasn’t that cold, but she was nervous. Other than when Finn had brought his brothers to the restaurant so Davis could apologize, she hadn’t seen him. He hadn’t called, and he hadn’t come over, so she didn’t really know how he was feeling toward her.

  She was already waiting by the tree where she’d told him to meet her when he walked up. He had his hands jammed into the pockets of his jeans, but he wasn’t wearing anything over his polo shirt.

  “Don’t you need a coat?” she asked as he approached.

  He shrugged. “I’m fine.”

  She pulled the money they’d left at the restaurant out of her jacket. “This is way too much, Finn. I appreciate the gesture, but...no.”

  He made no move to take it. “We want you to have it.”

  “I can’t. Really. It’s too much. But thank you.” Since he still had his hands in his pockets, she tried to force the money in around them.

  When it fell out, he bent down to pick it up. “So...was that Mark I saw you with yesterday?”

  She nodded.

  Hunching forward again, he nudged a pinecone from one foot to the other. “How long will he be here?”


  “A week.”

  He continued to move the pinecone. “Are you returning to Florida with him?”

  She wasn’t surprised he’d assume that. Mark had been hugging her when Finn came upon them. “No.”

  His head snapped up. “No?”

  “What you saw yesterday... Mark and I have a lot of history together, Finn. And we’re in a difficult situation right now. So any kindness between us is welcome. Well, not any kindness, but you know what I mean.”

  “I don’t know what you mean. Not really.” He tilted his head as he looked at her. “Are you staying with him?”

  “No. I can’t save our marriage. He’s still hoping I’ll change my mind, but it won’t happen.”

  A relieved smile appeared as he started messing with that pinecone again. “So...what are your plans?”

  “I’ll finish out the summer here. I like it, like the reprieve it’s giving me. But once August is over, I’ll go back to Florida, where I’ll file for divorce. Then we’ll have to work out the separation of our assets, visitation, custody—all of that. I’m not looking forward to it,” she added.

  “Will you have to face Francine?” he asked with a grimace.

  “I doubt I’ll be able to avoid it.”

  “Doesn’t seem fair.”

  “It’s not. That’s where a lot of my anger comes from. I don’t feel I did anything to deserve what he did—and what she did—but I have to deal with it, anyway. So I’ll just keep putting one foot in front of the other, until I outdistance the wreckage. It’ll take time, but if I stay with him, I’ll never break free.”

  He scratched the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. I’m also sorry that things went the way they did when you were working for us. Davis was out of line—”

  “He apologized,” she interrupted. “It doesn’t matter anymore. How’s he doing, anyway?”

  “Seems a bit better—although Nolan and I aren’t very good cooks. We don’t clean up after him, either. So I bet he regrets losing you. If we don’t order food from a restaurant, he eats peanut butter sandwiches, and he makes them by taking a bite of bread with a spoonful of peanut butter. He’d probably like some jelly, too, but he can’t spread it, and I’m not going to wait on him. He had help. He’s the one who screwed it up.”

  “Tough love might be the best approach with him. It’ll be slow going, but if he has to figure things out for himself, he will.”

  “Right.” His chest lifted as he drew a deep breath. “About us...”

  She bit her lip. “Is there an us, Finn?”

  His expression grew sorrowful. “That’s what I’m wondering. I hate not spending time with you and Lucy anymore.”

  “I’ve missed you, too,” she admitted. But she had a child to consider and couldn’t stay in California, even if there was some way to arrange it. As attracted as she was to Finn, this was simply the wrong time and place to start another relationship. “But I don’t see how we can have a future together.”

  “I know,” he admitted. “I keep coming to the same conclusion. That’s why I haven’t contacted you. But we’re friends, aren’t we? I care about you. Do we have to let that go, too—just because we can’t be more?”

  She blinked quickly to ward off tears. “No. We don’t have to let that go,” she said and slipped her arms around his waist so she could rest her cheek against his broad chest. She needed to feel the warmth and support of this man—who’d been so kind to her when she needed it most—just one more time.

  * * *

  serenity

  Serenity had to get up early, but she didn’t want to sleep, not while Sawyer was with her. What he’d said earlier, the fact that he’d made her commit to being open-minded, had changed how she viewed him. Now she was trying to make it work instead of focusing on all the obstacles that stood in their way.

  She feared her new perspective might crumble in the light of day, but while they were alone together, while he was curled around her in bed, being with him felt perfectly natural and right.

  “I’ve never asked you this before, so all I know is what Sean told me,” she said. “But...what happened to your father?”

  She’d thought maybe he’d fallen asleep, but when he let go of her and rolled onto his back, she knew he hadn’t. Was this too difficult a subject, especially this early in the relationship?

  “What’d Sean tell you?”

  She plumped her pillow. “Would you rather we not talk about it?”

  “No, it’s okay.”

  Although he said the words, she wasn’t sure whether to believe him. She could feel a sudden tension in him that hadn’t existed before. But how was she supposed to get to know him in a different way—a more intimate way—if they couldn’t talk about the most important events in his life?

  “Sean said he drowned in a river when you were just a kid,” she told him. “But I’ve always wondered how it happened.”

  When he took a moment to respond, she decided she was too happy right now to risk probing any more. “Never mind. We can talk about it another time.”

  “No, it’s fine,” he insisted. “He and his friend were fishing in Alaska. He loved to fish. It was his dream to go there. But there was a lot of flooding that spring and, somehow, his buddy fell into the river. My dad jumped in to pull the guy out, but the current and the cold were too much for both of them.”

  She winced. “I’m so sorry. How old were you?”

  “Nine.”

  She could barely see his profile in the darkness, but she could tell his face was filled with sadness. “That must’ve been devastating.”

  “I’ll never forget the day my mother showed up at school to tell me. It felt like my whole world had come crashing down, especially because it killed me to witness her grief.”

  “She must’ve taken it hard.”

  “Very.”

  “So how did she meet Sean’s father?”

  “She was a teller at a bank, and he walked in one day.”

  “How long was this after your father died?”

  “About two years.”

  “What made Cody leave Nina—do you know?” He’d married Nina right out of college. They’d had Sean and Felix and divorced. Then Cody had met and married Sawyer’s mother. After she died, he went back to Nina and they had Thomas. Knowing that they’d been divorced for a while had always made Serenity wonder why they couldn’t make it the first time.

  “No clue. They never talked about the divorce, but sometimes I could tell Nina resented me.”

  She was certainly quick to turn on him. Maybe she resented his inclusion in the life she could’ve had with her husband and her own sons had Cody never met Sawyer’s mother. “Was she with someone else, too, during that period?”

  “When Cody married my mother? My mother wasn’t around for very long, and then they got back together, so I doubt it.” He fell silent, seemed to be reliving the loss of his mother. But then he said, “I think she knew she had cancer when she married him. I think she did it because she believed he was the kind of man who’d take care of me after she was gone.”

  “Oh, wow,” Serenity said. “And she was right.”

  “Yeah.”

  Suddenly Serenity had a great deal more respect for Cody Alston. She’d always thought it generous of him to raise a son who wasn’t his, especially since Sawyer’s mother died so soon after they were married, but this drove it all home. Also, that Sawyer had taken a stand against Sean suddenly seemed to be an even greater sacrifice than it had before. “How do you feel about Cody?”

  “For the most part, I respect him,” he said. “He did his best to be fair, so I’m grateful.”

  “But the trial...”

  “Parents are blind when it comes to their kids. Especially their own blood.”

  “Meaning you don’t think Cody would’ve stood behind you
in the same way?”

  “Maybe he would have. He’s a loyal guy. But I’ve never been under the illusion that if he had to choose between me and Sean, he’d ever pick me.”

  “Why didn’t you stay out of it, try to salvage your relationship?”

  “And put who knows how many children at risk because I was afraid of what it might do to me? No.”

  He hadn’t been able to contribute anything that would help get Sean convicted. Only she’d been able to do that. But he’d supported her so she could withstand the onslaught of Sean’s lawyers and Sean’s family and the stress, embarrassment and shame and do what had to be done. Now that she understood this, she had to admire him for making that decision.

  She slid closer and he shifted so he could wrap his arm around her. “I don’t want to come between you and the Alstons,” she murmured. “I don’t want to cost you your family.”

  “That’s the thing. It was Sean who came between us, not you.”

  “But if we get together...”

  “I’d rather have you in my life than anyone else.”

  She kissed his collarbone, his neck, his jaw. “Will you feel the same in five, ten years? Maybe longer?”

  “Wow. Now you’re talking really long-term,” he joked.

  She leaned up on one elbow. “And you’re not?”

  “I wouldn’t have started this if I didn’t think it could be serious,” he said.

  “And you won’t change your mind about Sean and the Alstons and begin to resent me?”

  “Of course not.”

  She thought about that for several seconds. Then she said, “I’m afraid of what you make me feel.”

  He pulled her on top of him. “Good. That makes two of us.”

  29

  lorelei

  WHEN LORELEI WOKE UP, she listened for Lucy only to realize that she’d agreed to let Lucy stay with her father at the motel. He’d promised to take her out for strawberry waffles this morning.

  It felt strange not to have her daughter at the cabin with her, especially at this time of day, but she’d have to get used to Lucy being with Mark. She’d probably be with him every other weekend, if not more often since she still had another year before she started kindergarten.