I take a deep breath trying to think of what to say next. “I didn’t mean it like that. There are a lot of things you don’t know. A lot I don’t want you to know. You are better off here for now.” I try to keep my voice reassuring but she’s not buying it. She still looks at me with nothing but hurt.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here.” At my words, she let’s go of my arm and turns away from me. Watching her do so feels like a stab in the chest. I hate to leave her like that, but this is what’s best right now. I pull on my boots and open the window. She is still lying on her bed facing the wall. I go back to her bed and lean over her, placing a hand on the wall. I hover over her for a moment, thinking she might look at me. When she doesn’t, I give her one last kiss on her cheek and leave.
The ride home seems twice as long as the ride over there. When I finally get to the club I’m already tired again. Physically and mentally exhausted I drag myself downstairs where Hunter is waiting for me. I change into my extra gym clothes I have stashed here and we start our workout routine. It doesn’t take Hunter long to notice that I am in a bad mood.
“Alright Jax, spit it out,” He asks in between punches.
“I'm thinking about selling the club.” My statement stops Hunter dead in his tracks.
“What?!”
I knew this wouldn’t go over well. The guys do all of their business here, and they've pretty much been living here since I bought this place the day I turned eighteen. I won this major fight and saved up all the cash instead of blowing it on drugs and women as Hunter and Colt do. I don’t blame or judge them for it. I thought about it myself, but I always had Eliza in the back of my mind. They had no one to think about or care for like I did.
“I’m thinking about selling the club and starting over somewhere else.”
Hunter looks at me intently, studying me, probably waiting for me to tell him that I am joking, but I am not.
“I thought we had a good thing going here,” He finally says.
“We do, but how long do you think it’s going to be until one of us goes to jail or gets killed? Why not get out now before it’s too late?”
Hunter still looks unconvinced. “Have you talked to Colt about this?”
“Not yet, but I will tonight.”
I know Colt is going to be very unhappy about it, but he can get over it. I need to think about Eliza, she seems to be the only thing on my mind, now more than ever. I think about the kiss last night and the way she fit so perfectly in my arms as if she just belongs there. Hunter hits me right above my left eye and it’s like he rattled the thought loose in my mind. Of course she belongs in my arms, she belongs to me just as I belong to her.
14
Eliza
I didn’t go back to sleep all morning. If I go to sleep I might wake up convinced that I just dreamed that Jaxon stayed with me last night. I am still lying in my bed though. Partly because it still smells like him and partly because when I get up then the night is officially over. I already missed breakfast and Sarah has come and checked on me twice. I let her think I'm depressed because Jen is gone. It's not like I can tell her the truth. I am lying here heartbroken, because the guy I like slept in my bed, holding me and kissing me all night, then left this morning without me.
I still can't believe I let this happen yet again. I let him in, forgave how he treated me last time just so he could hurt me again. I'm so stupid for thinking there was something between us. Why is it so easy when I'm around him? I feel so close to him, so comfortable. Why does he keep pushing me away?
It’s lunchtime now and my stomach is getting louder and louder. Almost as loud as the knock on my door a second before it swings open a few inches.
“Eliza,” Sarah's voice is quiet and careful. “It’s lunchtime sweet girl. Please come and eat something. We can talk to Jen on the phone if you like.”
I don’t want to bother Jen when she is with her mom and I could really use something to eat. There have been plenty of times where I had nothing to eat; I am not going to make myself starve now that food is available. I get up and give Sarah a little smile before I get dressed.
While eating lunch I realize that being depressed because of Jen being gone might not be that far off. I never had a close friend like her before and I do miss her. Even though I don’t talk to her much, I feel like she understands me. More importantly, she accepts me.
When Jen finally gets back the next afternoon I surprise us both by jumping into her arms as soon as she walks through the door.
I sit on the bed while she unpacks and talks about the visit with her mom. “She said she is doing better and that I can come home soon and everything can go back to normal.”
I am equally happy for her and scared for me. I feel like a horrible friend for even feeling this way but I can't help not wanting to lose my friend.
“Of course, she has been saying this for a while. So, don’t think you’ll get rid of me any time soon. Also, I don’t know if I want things to go back to the way they were. I just want her to get better I guess.”
Jen is generally such an upbeat person, that the sad note in her voice catches me by surprise.
It’s been a week since my birthday but it seems like forever since I saw Jaxon. I try not to think about him at all but somehow that is harder than it sounds, especially now that he has been in my room. I keep replaying in my head what he said, that he doesn’t want me near him and that he doesn’t want me to know certain things about him. I can’t make sense of any of it. Maybe he has a girlfriend. The thought of him with another girl, probably older and prettier than me, leaves a bitter taste on my tongue.
I have been jealous before. Seeing a mom with her daughter as they’re picking out clothes or even a dad taking his daughter to a dance, those are situations where I can’t help but feel jealous. This, however, feels worse. Maybe because the more I think about it the more it makes sense that he has a girlfriend. This would explain all of it. The way he wanted me gone so quick and still doesn’t want me around. All the things he doesn’t want me to know. I revisit my previous theory about the girl’s shirt at his apartment. She probably works at the Bunker. I wore her shirt. The thought troubles me greatly. Everything makes sense now. That has to be it.
I try not to dwell on it and put on a happy face when Jen comes into our room with a movie and a bowl of popcorn. It is Friday night and this has become our ritual. She puts the DVD in and starts some rom-com on our small TV. We barely make it through the beginning credits when she pauses the movie and looks at me.
“Did you hear that?”
I listen for a second and shake my head but then I hear it too. A buzzing sound coming from my dresser. Jen looks at me with her eyebrows raised. “That you must have heard.”
I nod and get up from the bed. Of course, I know exactly what that noise is and where it comes from. I eagerly open my dresser drawer and check my phone. Soon as I get it out of the drawer I hear Jen gasp behind me, “You have a phone? How did you get a phone and when and why don’t I have your number?”
I don’t know how to answer, especially because I am reading Jaxon's texts now.
JAXON: IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH COME AND SEE ME AT THE CLUB TOMORROW NIGHT.
In his next message, he sends me a confirmation number of a bus ticket purchase leaving first thing in the morning.
I’m still just looking at the screen when Jen’s head pops over my shoulder.
“What the hell Eliza?”
I feel a little guilty of hiding all of this from her and for the first time, I think about talking to her, really talking to her. I could tell her everything, she would understand, probably even give me advice. I could make an exception, talk when I’m with her just like I do with Jaxon. I want to, but something stops me. It was easier with Jaxon somehow and I don’t know why it is so hard for me to let go of this. I sigh in resignation and instead of talking to her I hand her my phone and let her read all the texts between me and Jaxon. As she reads her e
yes get bigger and bigger until they are about to pop out of her eye sockets. “What the hell?” She repeats a little louder and angrier.
“Sorry,” I tell her and I mean it. I am sorry for not being able to open up to her when she has opened up to me about a lot of things. After the initial shock, she starts to drill me with questions.
“So, you went out with him? Do you like him? Is he nice to you?” I nod to all of them.
“Wait, this text is from last week. He was here? In our room?” I nod with an apologetic smile.
“Did you have sex in our room?”
“No!” That answer deserved a word. Even though it’s the truth, my cheeks heat while I think about what we did do, that kiss, how he held me in his arms.
“I mean I wouldn’t care, I was just curious.” She laughs and I am glad she doesn’t seem to be really mad at me.
“So, what is he talking about when he said the truth?”
I shrug.
“Are you gonna go? Do you want me to cover for you?”
I don’t tell her yes right away even though deep down I already know the answer. I want to go, I want to know the truth about everything, but mostly I want to see him.
We tell Sarah that we are going to see a movie and get some dinner when we leave the next day. I feel really bad about lying to her, she had been nothing but good to me, but I know she would never allow me to go. Jen walks me to the bus terminal and talks to the teller where we pick up my ticket. With the ticket, Jen gives me a handful of cash.
“My mom gave that to me before they took her away. She told me to use it in an emergency. I want you to have some money in case you need to make a quick exit and I don’t want you to have to depend on anybody.”
I stare at the cash, it’s probably a few hundred dollars. For a moment I think about not accepting it but in all honesty, I have been worried about being stuck there, dependent on Jaxon. Now I have a way out. Hopefully, I won’t have to use it and I can just give it back to her. I hug her as tightly as I can before getting on the bus. I sit in the back of the bus in a row by myself, hoping no one is going to try to sit with me. I’d rather be by myself, seeing that’s what I’m best at…being alone.
I see the large neon letters spelling ‘The Bunker’ from half a mile down the road. When I walk up to the club there is a long line at the door, just like the last time I had been here. Jaxon didn’t give me any instructions on where to meet him. Maybe he wants me to come into the back. I send him a text message saying that I am upfront and then I get in line. People in front of me turn around to look at me in amusement. Everybody here is dressed up with their makeup and hair done, in chic dresses and high heels. I know I look out of place in my jeans and sneakers and even the nice lacy top Jen gave me is no match for the dressed-up girls standing next to me.
I start getting antsy when the line doesn’t move in what seems like thirty minutes but when more people get in line and just push past me like I’m not there, I’d had enough. I gather all the courage I have and walk up to the bouncer in front of the door. I hear people talk and joke when I pass them but I don’t stop. I didn’t come all this way to go back empty handed. I position myself in front of the almost seven-foot man guarding the door. I look up and say as loud and steady as I can.
“I’m here for Jaxon.” He raises one eyebrow but other than that doesn’t move or even crack a smile. The people in line, however, are having a great time watching my little display, some are straight up laughing at me.
One girl yells, “We all here for him sweetheart!”
I’m about to go around back and wait for him there when the door opens and someone calls my name.
“Eliza! I’m so glad you could make it.” I look over at the figure who is standing in the door, holding it open. “I’m sorry, you probably don’t remember me.”
Oh, but I do remember you. It’s the creep who made me drink beer when I was thirteen. Is he still friends with Jaxon?
“I’m Colt, Jaxon’s friend, and business partner. See, I was going to surprise Jaxon with having you come here. So, I texted you from his phone and sent you the bus ticket.”
I’m stunned, frozen in place. Jaxon doesn’t even know I’m here. He still doesn’t want me. Why would Colt do this?
“Well, come on in, I’ll take you downstairs myself. Jaxon is going to freak when he sees you here,” he says this like he is excited, implying that Jaxon is going to be excited as well but I highly doubt that. I think Jaxon is going to be mad that I’m here. He has made it perfectly clear that he doesn’t want me near him. I also suspect that Colt is well aware of that fact and has some kind of ulterior motive.
I want to turn around and leave, but then what? Jaxon might never tell me the truth and where does that leave me? I need to know what he is not telling me and if it’s as bad as he makes it seem like, then at least I know to stay away from him. At least I’ll have closure.
I nod to Colt and follow him inside passing all the people in line who laughed at me a minute ago and are now gawking at me with their mouth hanging open. I follow Colt in and through the club but we are not heading to the bar where I was last time. Instead, we are going down another hallway, away from the dance floor. There are some more bouncers and just like last time they make way as soon as they see us. There is a big heavy door at the end of the hallway we then go through. Stairs lead us to a lower level where there is yet another door. My heart is racing a million miles per hour. I have a bad feeling about all of this but I will not turn back now. He takes hold of the doorknob and asks, “Are you sure you can handle this, little girl?”
I nod and he opens the door.
The downstairs is a stark contrast to the upper-level club. Everything upstairs is modern black and white, high ceilings and clean furniture. The decor down here is more of a dungeon than a club. The walls are just plain brick and there is barely any furniture in here. The couches I do see have mostly men sitting on them with half-naked girls dancing in front, girls who don’t look much older than me. There are a lot of columns and walls, so it is hard to see everything at once. Also, there are a bunch of people smoking which makes the air stale and musty smelling.
The further we walk inside; the worst things get. At one table I can see people snorting a white powder. Next, we pass lounge chairs where girls are doing more than dancing to guys with their pants around their ankles. I look at Colt who just grins at me and shrugs his shoulders like this is the most normal thing in the world. We keep walking and end up in a more open room that has a large metal cage in the middle. Colt leads me to a quiet corner from where we have a good view of the whole room. He leans down to me and says.
“Jaxon will be here in a few minutes.”
I watch the people around me while I wait. A few feet away from me there is a young woman in a cute dark purple dress who is drinking one of the orange-swirl drinks I had when I was here. Her drink is almost empty when she starts to lose her balance. I take a step towards her but Colt grabs my arm pulling me back. “Don’t worry little girl, she is taken care of.”
I look back to her and see the guy she was with holding her up, starting to drag her away. When I look at his face I expect him to be concerned but instead he is laughing. Something is so wrong. I try to get away from Colt, to help the girl but he doesn’t let go and then there is a loud cheering from the crowd. People are pushing to get closer to the cage now as a door opens at the far left of the room and some people walk in. The crowd makes a little pathway for them to get in.
I see Jaxon first, his head is down, and he is looking at the floor. He is not wearing a shirt. Only a pair of shorts. Then I notice a half-naked girl walking next to him, smiling and waving at the people they pass. She is wearing the smallest bikini I have ever seen and the now familiar feeling of jealousy resurfaces.
When they get to the cage she grabs his arm and leans closer to his ear to tell him something. My blood reached a new boiling point but I cool off quickly when I realize Jaxon is going into the cage.
Soon after, another guy walks in. Bikini girl closes the cage, shutting Jaxon and the other guy in.
Jaxon is tall and muscular but the other guy has a few inches and a few pounds on him. They are standing face to face like they are about to start a boxing match but they are not wearing any boxing gloves or any other protective gear. All they have is some tape wrapped around their hands. Bikini girl announces something about bets and rules but I can’t form a thought right now. All I see is Jaxon in a cage facing off with another guy who is bigger than him. Why would he do this? Does he need the money that bad?
As if reading my thoughts, Colt leans in and says, “You know he only still fights for fun. Because he likes beating people up. He likes beating someone until they are dancing on the edge of living and dead. He doesn’t need the money, that's for sure. This club alone brings him plenty of income.”
I barely register what he is telling me. None of this can be true.
Bikini girl rings some bell and the fight starts. The large guy charges Jaxon immediately, trying to punch him in the face but Jaxon is too fast for him. He easily dodges the punches. Then Jaxon goes for the other guy, he lands two on his head but gets hit a few times in the ribs. They go back and forth exchanging punches and it looks like an even fight for a few moments. Then the big guy hits Jaxon square in the mouth and he staggers back.
The crowd cheers even louder now. People are moving around, yelling and pushing around the cage. I start walking into the crowd, ignoring my anxiety, squeezing in between people to see better. Hoping Jaxon is okay. He straightens himself out and I can really see his face for the first time. His eyes look almost black. He looks like a different person now, a person driven by hate. He takes a step toward his opponent and starts raining down punches. It’s as if the last hit he took activated something inside of him. Released some kind of inner beast. He punches the other guy over and over again. Blood is covering the guy's face and Jaxon’s fists, but he still doesn’t stop. Even when he has him pinned in the corner of the cage and the guy is barely moving he doesn’t stop.
The Quiet Game (Pushed Aside Book 1) Page 7