This Moment Is Your Life (and So Is This One)

by Mariam Gates

  Pay attention to your breath, following the inhalation in and the exhalation out through your body.

  Before you know it, thoughts will be passing by.

  Your job is to notice even one of them and label it. Again, don’t get caught up in what the label is; just notice that you are thinking. When you notice a thought, give it a label and gently bring your attention back to your breath.

  When the timer goes off, slowly open your eyes. Relax.

  How did it go?

  Once you start noticing, it is amazing how many thoughts will come by to offer you a ride. The practice is not stopping them—you can’t—or pushing them away. You are learning to let them pass by. Your thoughts, while important, are just thoughts. They are the running commentary but they are not the final word on what is real and happening in this moment.

  Now is the only moment that exists.

  What is real now is the feeling of your inhale and exhale. Yes, you have a lot of images and ideas moving through your mind, some helpful, some not, and they don’t all need to receive a big reaction from you. If you are present, you will know which thoughts need your attention and which are just a part of the parade endlessly drifting past.

  Gentleness is key. You need to bring that same level of curiosity and relaxed kindness toward yourself in meditation that you bring to all mindfulness practices. Working with your mind is like training a puppy. You have to be patient. When a puppy forgets where it is supposed to go, you don’t berate it; you understand that it is learning. You don’t decide that you have a bad puppy and that it will never be able to do things well. You have faith in the process and kindly bring it back to the spot you had asked it to go in the first place. You may do that a hundred or a thousand times, and that is fine.

  All of us function more effectively when we feel present. Period. The moment you have some insight into the habits of your mind, you have some choice about how you are going to react. The only time you can make a change or create something new is right now. Meditation helps you get better at being here now.

  What I like about meditation is that it gives me more energy. Usually my body starts out like, why am I just going to sit still? I could be out running around, and I am just here! But after I do it, I feel like I can go with the flow more. It is almost like I avoid problems before they even happen. I don’t get in trouble in school because I am just doing what I am supposed to be doing.

  —Eva, age 11

  I meditate for two minutes before I go to sleep. I just let myself let go. Even when I have different thoughts I know I don’t have to do anything about them right now, and it is really relaxing. I sleep much better.

  —Jahmai, age 12

  MEDITATION TOOL KIT

  These exercises help to develop the habit of being here now. We can notice when our minds are somewhere else and gently bring them back to this moment.

  A Note about Timers: Timers are very helpful in meditation, particularly when you are new to sitting. It may be near impossible to “simply sit” without the structure of a specific amount of time. Use a timer for each of these exercises so that you don’t have to spend time checking the clock. (You may find you peek anyway, which is fine and normal.)

  Noticing the Point

  Sit with a balance of effort and ease.

  Set your timer for three minutes.

  Now bring your attention to the point in your body where you feel the breath begin: right at the tip of your nose. Bring all of your awareness to that point on each inhalation. Keep coming back to that simple point throughout your meditation.

  Labeling Meditation

  Find a comfortable seat where you can feel the balance of effort and ease in your body.

  Set your timer for five minutes.

  Close your eyes and bring your attention to your breath. Feel your inhale and feel your exhale.

  You may notice that you quickly head off into thinking, planning, worrying, doubting. You may find that you feel tired or hungry.

  Whatever you feel, when you realize it, notice it, label it, and go back to paying attention to your inhale and your exhale.

  Remember: Patience is key. You may only notice one thought the whole time.

  Counting Breath Meditation

  Find a comfortable seat where you can feel the balance of effort and ease in your body.

  Set your timer for five minutes.

  Close your eyes and bring your attention to your breath.

  Take a breath in and out and count 1.

  Take a breath in and out and count 2.

  Take a breath in and out and count 3.

  Keep going until you reach 10. Most likely, you will lose track, and that is fine. Gently bring your attention back to the breath and start over.

  (The variation is to inhale 1 and exhale 2. Just do whichever feels more comfortable.)

  Kindness Meditation

  This ancient technique for developing kindness has modern- day applications. Research shows that practicing positive thoughts has a direct impact on how you feel about yourself and your life.

  Take a comfortable seat balancing effort and ease.

  Notice the inhale and exhale of your breath.

  The first part of the practice is kindness toward yourself. You repeat silently to yourself:

  May I be safe.

  May I be healthy.

  May I be happy.

  You can try saying it three times slowly before moving on.

  Now, think about someone you love. This should be someone who brings a positive feeling when you think of them. Picture this person clearly in your mind, silently give them the same wish, repeated three times:

  May you be safe.

  May you be healthy.

  May you be happy.

  If you want to build on the practice, bring to mind someone you know but don’t have a strong feeling about one way or another. Practice saying to them:

  May you be safe.

  May you be healthy.

  May you be happy.

  You can also try this three times.

  Here comes the final level of this exercise. Choose someone you have difficult feelings about. This could be someone you don’t like, or someone you are angry at. When you think of this person, you do not have a positive association. Here, you stay connected to your breath, and work slowly through the words three times, noticing what comes up. Keep breathing. This is advanced.

  May you be safe.

  May you be healthy.

  May you be happy.

  PEACE.

  Finger Meditation

  This is a quick and easy way to do a mini-meditation in the moment.

  Simply touch your thumb to each finger on your hand, saying silently:

  Peace begins with me.

  You can also replace the word peace with anything that feels important to you:

  Change begins with me.

  Calm begins with me.

  Or find another expression of it:

  I am completely calm.

  I am so strong.

  I am confident here.

  I am confident now.

  Concentration Meditation (Object)

  Sometimes focusing on an image (like a flower or a candle) either in your mind or in front of you can be helpful. For this exercise, try choosing an actual object. Choose something you like to look at but that does not have any words written on it. Get into a comfortable seat and set the object where you can see it easily.

  Set a timer for three minutes.

  Keep your eyes gently open and look at your object.

  Breathe normally and keep your attention on the object. Notice everything you can about it without actually picking it up.

  You may find that even though your eyes are open, you forget what you are looking at from time to t
ime as other thoughts take over. That is fine. Just gently bring your attention back to your object.

  Concentration Meditation (Word)

  Sometimes focusing on a word can be helpful. Choose a simple word to repeat that gives you something to come back to when your thoughts wander (similar to counting breaths).

  Get into a comfortable seat and try the following exercise using the word relax:

  Re-lax.

  As you breathe in silently say Re.

  As you breathe out silently say lax.

  Continue with a timer for three minutes, coming back to Re-lax when you lose focus.

  Meditative Body Scan

  Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Breathe naturally. No timer is needed for this exercise.

  Bring your attention to the soles of your feet. Just notice them. Take your time.

  Now bring that attention to the tops of your feet,

  then to your ankles,

  then your calves,

  your shins,

  your knees . . .

  Continue bringing your attention up through your body until you reach the top of your head.

  Open your eyes.

  Color Meditation

  Set your timer for three minutes.

  Sit comfortably and close your eyes.

  Breathe naturally.

  Imagine on your next inhale that your breath is filling your whole body with the color blue.

  Imagine this color filling you to the edges of your body.

  As you exhale, imagine that your whole body is breathing out all the color.

  Inhale—breathe in vibrant blue.

  Exhale—release vibrant blue.

  Repeat.

  Walking Meditation

  There are forms of walking meditation that focus on making very slow, deliberate, mindful movements. For this exercise, you are bringing your attention and awareness to your senses as you move at a regular pace. Take a ten-minute walk, or decide to try this next time you are going somewhere by foot.

  Use your senses to move through the following exercise.

  First, notice how your body feels walking. Notice your feet hitting the ground, and how your legs, hips, and arms are moving.

  Notice your breath. How is it changing depending on your pace and the terrain? Pay attention.

  Notice the air or wind on your skin. Is it cool? Warm? Refreshing or clammy?

  Now pay attention to what you can hear. Bring all of your awareness to the sounds around you. Notice whether they are natural or man-made.

  Now focus on what you see. What is the light like, and is it different in different places? What colors stand out to you?

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Now you know that adding mindfulness into your day is as simple as noticing your next breath or the feeling of your body in your chair. These Five-Day Skill-Building Challenges are how-to guides that give you a plan and structure for starting to make mindfulness a regular part of your day. Five days is a short commitment, but long enough for you to feel the positive effects.

  Each five-day segment is designed to work within your already-full schedule of school, homework, extracurriculars, friends, and family. Some of the activities are specific to the time of day (first thing in the morning or before you go to sleep), but most are for you to do at any moment that works for you. Just do them at some point during that specific twenty-four-hour period. The idea is that you can bring these mindfulness practices easily into your day-to-day routines with great results. A little goes a long way.

  Remember: You are trying something new. Be patient with yourself. Pay attention to the thoughts you have that get in your way: Why do this? I don’t have time. I forgot to do today’s exercises, so I won’t do it at all this week. Instead of reacting to those thoughts, practice mindfulness: Notice what you feel, and let it be. Do a Five-Day Challenge. Then see how you feel.

  Find out for yourself.

  As always, be present and enjoy the moment!

  RELAX AND RESET

  Note: In this Five-Day Challenge and the following ones as well, the yoga flow will build throughout the five days. You might find that the beginning of the day is the best time for this portion of the challenge, or you might feel less rushed when you get home from school.

  DAY 1

  Energizing Breath

  Stand with hands by your sides.

  Bend gently through your knees.

  Inhale and sweep your hands up.

  Exhale forcefully and swing your arms back.

  Repeat quickly five times.

  Sun Breath

  Stand comfortably.

  Bring your hands out to your sides and up.

  Inhale and lift your arms high.

  Exhale and bring your hands together at the center of your heart.

  Make your movements slow and smooth.

  Match your breath and movement.

  Repeat five times.

  Body Twist

  Twist your body from side to side (lifting your back heel).

  Let your arms swing all the way around to your back and shoulders.

  Twist back and forth (five times per side).

  Focused Breathing Meditation

  Set your timer for two minutes.

  As you breathe in, silently say Re

  As you breathe out, silently say lax.

  Continue coming back to Re-lax when you lose focus.

  Mindful Breathing

  This is a good exercise to do right before you go to sleep. Place your hand on your abdomen.

  On your next inhale, slowly breathe in, expanding your stomach so it makes your hand rise up. Notice the sensations in your body as you inhale.

  Exhale and release all of the air slowly. Be present and notice the sensations in your body as you exhale. Notice whether you can feel your whole body relax and let go a bit more with each exhale.

  Repeat. (If you don’t feel any effects yet, try three more.)

  Action Step: Positive Message

  Take this step as early in the day as you can. Write a positive message, and post it somewhere you will see it all week. (Try using washable markers on your mirror or a sticky note on your desk.)

  You can use a quote you love, or one meaningful word.

  “Work Hard, Do Your Part, Be Kind. And Darling, Don’t Forget There’s Magic.”

  —Leigh Standley

  “Surrender your fear, and trust your strength.”

  —Kelley Rae Roberts

  Make sure you’ve put this word or quote somewhere you will see it daily. Each time you see it, notice how it makes you feel. Notice your emotional and physical responses.

  DAY 2

  Energizing Breath

  Bend gently through your knees.

  Inhale and sweep your hands up.

  Exhale forcefully and swing your arms back.

  Repeat quickly five times.

  Sun Breath

  Stand comfortably.

  Bring your hands out to your sides and up.

  Inhale and lift your arms high.

  Exhale and bring your hands together at the center of your heart.

  Make your movements slow and smooth.

  Match your breath and movement.

  Repeat five times.

  Body Twist

  Twist your body from side to side (lifting your back heel).

  Let your arms swing all the way around to your back and shoulders.


  Twist back and forth (five times per side).

  Airplane Pose into Eagle Pose

  Go into Mountain Pose (stand tall with arms down and palms facing forward).

  Focus on one point.

  Lift your right foot behind you and balance with your arms behind you, palms facing down.

  Keep your chest lifting and your spine long.

  Hold for three breaths.

  Bring your right arm under your left arm.

  Bring your right knee over your left knee.