If I Can't Have You

by Iris Morland

  "Put me inside you," he growled.

  But she played with him a little longer, cupping his balls, her hands wandering. He swore and bucked. There wasn't anything quite so heady as having this strong man in her power.

  When his cock pressed against her entrance, she moaned, long and low. As she sank onto him, they both gasped. Abby's vision blurred, and her entire body twitched as Mark began to thrust.

  At this angle, his thrusts were shallow, but they hit a spot inside her that drove her wild. She pressed against his chest, trying to get even closer; she turned her head so they could kiss. It was awkward and messy, but it was also the most erotic thing Abby had ever experienced. His tongue thrust in her mouth as his cock filled her.

  Tendrils of ecstasy began to coil around her. It was unbearable, almost painful. Her fingers twitched on the covers.

  Mark went faster, and she could feel his sweat on her back. Closing her eyes, she felt her second release rushing toward her until finally she burst.

  She shook and screamed, and then she heard him say her name as he reached his peak a few thrusts later. He swore, groaning, and she wished she could see his expression as he came.

  Abby couldn't move after that. She was pretty sure her bones had melted. Mark took care of the condom before climbing back into bed beside Abby.

  When he curled his good arm around her, she felt close to tears.

  She'd said there wouldn't be any feelings? What a lie. A big, fat, hilarious lie.

  12

  Abby's mouth fell open as she took in the Thornton mansion. And it was definitely a mansion, with its endless driveway leading up to a house that could be photographed for some magazine. How many rooms did this place have? She almost didn't want to know.

  When Abby had mentioned going to the Thornton Thanksgiving, Fiona had been adamant that her daughter not get cold feet.

  "I'm going to my sister's, anyway," she'd said, "so you have no excuse. But you have to tell me all about those Thorntons afterward!"

  So this is how rich people live. She couldn't help but compare this palace with her own small apartment.

  Mark escorted her inside, and Abby clutched her purse. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, although whether they were from Mark's touch or from the wealth surrounding her, she wasn't sure.

  "Oh good, you're here!" Megan rushed toward Abby and enveloped her in a fierce hug. "Sara and Harrison aren't here yet, and I was going to have to talk to Lisa alone because Caleb is the worst." Seeing Mark standing there, Megan grinned. "Hey, Mark. How's it going? How are your pigs?"

  Seeing Abby's confused look, Mark explained in a dry voice, "Some people like to joke that I raise pigs. They think it's funny."

  "It is funny," Megan said. She then narrowed her eyes at Mark.

  Although Abby had told Megan about the "arrangement," Abby hadn't told Mark that she'd told Megan.

  Abby gave Megan a warning look.

  "Let's go to the living—no, wait, sitting room," Megan said. She took Abby's arm, her eyes gleaming. "I want to hear about everything since we last talked."

  To Abby's surprise, no one was in the sitting room. The trio chatted, Abby updating her friend without disclosing too much, while Megan tried to get Mark to talk, albeit in vain.

  "Hey everybody!" Caleb exclaimed. He slapped Mark on the back, which Mark returned.

  A woman Abby had never seen before followed behind Caleb. Her dark hair and green eyes marked her immediately as a Thornton, though.

  "Abby, this is our prodigal sister Lizzie," Caleb said. "This is Abby Davison, Mark's girlfriend. She's a nurse at Fair Haven Memorial."

  Abby shook Lizzie's hand, and the woman smiled at her warmly. She was beautiful, with her golden skin and dark hair that rippled down her back in waves. She was tall and stylish, wearing jeans that hugged every curve.

  Mark rose, and Lizzie hugged him hard. "How are you, you big lug?" she said. "How's the ranch? And your horses?"

  He smiled. "Good. You could come see them all, you know."

  "True. Maybe I will." Turning to Abby, she said, "How has he been behaving? He hasn't growled at you too many times, has he?"

  "Lizzie," Mark warned.

  Everyone laughed. Lizzie bantered with Caleb and Megan, and before long, more guests arrived. Harrison and Sara came with Sara's son James, along with Jubilee. Heath DiMarco, Harrison and Caleb's best friend, arrived after that. Ruth Flannigan, Sara and Megan's mother, had gone to visit her brother in eastern Washington.

  As the conversation flowed around them, Abby leaned over to whisper in Mark's ear, "Where are your parents?"

  "Mom's probably having a stroke over the turkey while my dad is hiding," he whispered back.

  When Lisa Thornton came into the sitting room, she didn't look like she'd had a stroke. In fact, she looked as calm and collected as a woman with a house full of guests could be. In her late fifties, Lisa remained an attractive woman, although she had an iciness to her that made her seem deliberately standoffish.

  Dave Thornton was the spitting image of his sons, only with gray hair and a lined face.

  "Mark, introduce me to your girlfriend," Lisa said.

  Abby stood up, not wanting this woman to loom over her. It helped her confidence somewhat that Lisa was only an inch taller than her.

  "Mom, Dad, this is Abby Davison. Abby, meet my parents, Lisa and Dave."

  Abby shook Lisa's hand and then Dave's. Lisa inspected her with a critical eye, while Dave seemed disinterested at best. They both said the usual greetings and then turned to the rest of their children.

  Abby sat back down and let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

  "That wasn't so bad," she said.

  Mark's lips twisted. "My mom’s trying.”

  Right then, Sara's son James plopped down between Abby and Mark.

  "You're the nurse who helped Caleb, right?" James asked. "I've seen you before."

  "That's right. And you're James?"

  "Yeah." He turned his gaze toward Mark. "You look like Harrison."

  "I'm his brother," Mark said, his tone serious. "His younger brother."

  "His name is Mark." Abby smiled at Mark over James's head.

  "I knew that," James replied, sounding exasperated. "I've been to dinner and Mark was there. He has horses but my mom says I'm too young to ride a horse."

  He returned to grilling Mark. "What's it like to have brothers? I told my mom she should give me a younger brother but she always tells me to go outside."

  Abby had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing, while Mark looked like he'd rather be anywhere else.

  "Brothers are a total pain. I have two older brothers and one younger brother." Mark shrugged, smiling a little. "But I'd miss them if they weren't around."

  After James peppered them both with more questions, Sara came to get her son.

  "Sorry, I hope he wasn't bothering you." Sara gave James a stern look. "You know what I said about bothering people, right?"

  James sighed. "I know, but they didn't say I was bothering them."

  "It's fine. James asks good questions," Abby said.

  Abby's heart twisted a little as James went to go sit with Sara. Would she ever have a child of her own?

  Most days, she didn't mind being around kids—it wasn't like she could avoid children as a nurse—but sometimes the pang of longing hit her at the oddest times. Living with Mark had brought a lot of those longings to the surface.

  Dinner was served shortly thereafter. The dining room table was set with every Thanksgiving delicacy imaginable: mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls of bread, green beans, candied yams. The turkey sat at the end of the table, fried to golden perfection.

  Abby inhaled the scents of butter and turkey, her stomach rumbling. If all else failed, at least the food would be delicious.

  Abby found her seat with her place card, her name written in calligraphy. She realized she'd sit with Mark on her right and Lizzie on her left. Lizzie gave her a
kind smile as she sat down next to her.

  Dave carved the turkey before everyone began to fill their plates with food. As Abby took a platter of candied yams from Lizzie, she couldn't help but ask, "I heard you're a musician?"

  "That's right. I tour with my band, so that's why I haven't been home in a while."

  "That sounds exciting, though. What kind of music is it?"

  "I like to call us an indie band," Lizzie explained as she placed some mashed potatoes onto her plate. "I'm the lead singer. We do a lot of atmospheric kind of songs, I guess. I'm terrible at describing it. You just have to listen to it, is what I always say."

  "She's trying to get you to buy her album," Mark interjected in a wry voice. "Don't fall for it, Abby."

  Lizzie laughed. "He's right, kind of, although I am terrible at describing what kind of music we perform."

  "Have you always been a musician?" Abby asked.

  "For the most part. I think I wanted to be a vet for a few years as a kid, but music is my first love." Lizzie took a sip of her wine, her expression faraway for a moment. "Music has always been a part of me."

  "I'd love to hear you sing one day."

  "I'm actually doing a show here in town in a few weeks. You should come."

  "I'd love to, thank you."

  She turned to see Mark watching her. Suddenly embarrassed that she'd ignored him, she said, "The food's great."

  "It is."

  She struggled with what she should say. Since when did she get tongue-tied around Mark? She told herself it was because she was around his entire family; they made her self-conscious.

  Or it's because his family thinks that you're in a relationship with Mark when you're just having sex with a man you might be falling for.

  Abby's thoughts scattered when Lisa began to grill her children. "Sara told me that you picked out a date for the wedding,” she said to Harrison, "but are you sure about getting married outside then? June can still be so wet. I'm worried you'll get rained out."

  Harrison looked like the last thing he wanted to do was talk about his and Sara's wedding, but then James piped in. "They can use umbrellas if it rains. That's what I do."

  Everyone laughed, which helped break the tension.

  Sara said, "We thought about that, but we don’t want to wait any longer, so June it is.”

  "I went to a wedding years ago—Dave, remember the Patterson wedding?—and they had it outside in April. April! Everyone was soaked to the skin, and I swear I almost got pneumonia."

  "We promise no one will contract pneumonia at our wedding," Harrison said, deadpan.

  Caleb snorted, which made Megan elbow him.

  Lisa glared at Caleb before saying, "And what about you, Caleb? When will you finally ask Megan to marry you?"

  That made Caleb choke on his water. "Jesus, Mom, give a guy some warning!"

  "Language." Lisa dabbed at her lips with her napkin. "Answer the question."

  Caleb looked rather like a deer in the headlights, and he looked at Megan, and then his siblings, for help. Megan patted his shoulder.

  "We just haven't gotten that far yet," Megan explained. "We just moved in together."

  That caused exclamations around the table, although Abby noted that Lisa didn't take the news quite as well. She seemed miffed, like they were moving in together only to annoy her.

  "I amend my previous statement. Your mother is terrifying," Abby whispered to Mark.

  The conversation shifted from weddings and engagements to Jubilee's job working at Megan's bakery. Lisa asked Jubilee what her future plans were, Jubilee taking the question with aplomb. Abby could imagine that she was used to her mother's constant grilling.

  Abby soon noticed that Heath was gazing at Jubilee. Abby didn't know Heath well. He worked at the elementary school and had been friends with Harrison and Caleb for a while.

  Tonight, he'd worn dress pants and a button-up shirt, his auburn hair slicked back. He wore glasses, but it only gave him an air of sophistication. He was handsome, albeit unassuming, especially compared to the overt handsomeness of the Thornton men.

  But apparently, Heath only had eyes for Jubilee. Interesting.

  When Heath caught Abby looking at him, he didn't react. His gaze drifted away and back to his plate.

  "I can't believe anyone but family would come to these dinners," Lizzie said as she leaned over toward Abby. "How did Mark convince you to come? Did he blackmail you?"

  Abby almost choked on her wine. You have no idea, she thought.

  "Can I admit that I was curious?" she whispered back.

  Lizzie grinned. "You sound like my kind of girl. Megan wants us all to go out one night, mostly to commiserate about how obnoxious the Thornton men are. You should come."

  Abby nodded, a tightness filling her chest. She hated that she was lying to these people, who'd welcomed her into their home and treated her like a real family member. She even felt guilty about lying to Lisa, of all people.

  After dinner, the family returned to the sitting room, where drinks flowed in abundance. James was all energy, going from adult to adult, until Harrison took him outside to play catch, Heath and Jubilee joining the pair.

  "I need to work off those mashed potatoes," Jubilee said cheerfully. "Come on, James, teach me how to throw a ball because I'm terrible at it."

  James proceeded to tell Jubilee that that was because she was a girl, with Jubilee disclaiming this assertion heatedly.

  Abby got up to get another glass of wine, Mark joining her. He poured her glass before pouring a snifter of whiskey for himself.

  "Thanks for coming tonight," he said quietly.

  She looked up in surprise. "Of course."

  "Really. I know my family isn't—easy."

  Her lips twitched. "You said it, not me."

  He laughed as they returned to the couch.

  Mark watched his family in silence. Abby was like an anchor for his sanity. Having her near had made being around his family easier than usual.

  "Hey everybody, I have a surprise," Lizzie announced. She motioned to Caleb, who turned on the flat-screen TV.

  "Are we watching football for once?" Dave asked. Since having a few glasses of wine, he'd become almost jovial.

  Lisa sniffed. "You know how I feel about football. What is this all about, Elizabeth?"

  "One sec..." She and Caleb plugged in a laptop and then a microphone. "Hey, can someone go get everybody from outside? They'll want to be here, too."

  "I'll do it," Mark said.

  Mark watched Harrison and Heath toss a football to James, who then tried to run off with it. Jubilee caught him, and he squealed. She then stole the ball and began to run in the opposite direction.

  "Get her! Get her!" James cried. Heath ran after her, his long legs catching up to her within moments.

  When he snagged an arm around her waist, pulling her into his embrace, Mark waited for them to part. They didn't.

  It may have only been a second, but he'd be insane not to see the blush on Jubi's cheeks, or how Heath finally let her go like she'd burnt him.

  Mark's eyes narrowed. Interesting—and definitely a problem. He'd need to talk to his brothers about this little development. Jubilee was too young for a guy like Heath.

  Harrison, though, was distracted with James, and after Mark told them to come inside, he forgot about that little scene for now.

  He wasn't going to let any guy take advantage of Jubi. She'd been through enough already.

  When they returned to the sitting room, Lizzie glowed with excitement.

  "Okay, is everyone ready? Let's get this party started."

  A moment later, Lizzie's twin Seth appeared on the screen. He was currently stationed overseas in the Marines.

  "Seth!" the family exclaimed in unison. Mark saw his mother's mouth open in surprise, and then she dabbed at her eyes.

  Seth smiled and waved at everyone.

  "Seth, can you hear us?" Lizzie asked.

  "I can hear you."

&n
bsp; "Good, we can hear you, too. How are you? When are you coming home?"

  Seth looked a lot like his brothers, but with his buzz cut and his deep tan, he looked rougher, even more than Mark.

  Mark hadn't seen his little brother since he'd been on leave two years ago, and he couldn't help but notice that Seth looked older, grimmer. It was in his eyes, Mark thought.

  Lizzie and Seth, being twins, had been inseparable growing up, and they'd gotten into a whole host of trouble along the way. But right when they were about to graduate high school, something had happened to cause a rift between them.

  Although based on Lizzie's happiness right now, Mark had a feeling the rift had finally begun to heal.

  Abby had stayed on the couch as the rest of the family crowded around the laptop.

  "Let me introduce you," Mark said as he motioned to Abby.

  "Hey Seth," he called out, "this is Abby Davison." He swallowed, hoping nobody caught him in his lie. "My girlfriend."

  Seth's brows rose a little. "Nice to meet you. Sorry I couldn't come in person."

  "When will you be home for good?" Lisa asked. "I hate having my babies scattered all over the world."

  "That's why I asked Lizzie to set this up. I'll be on leave again for Christmas and will be home through New Year's."

  Everyone shouted in excitement.

  "All of the Thornton siblings, back together again," Caleb said with a laugh. "That'll be fun."

  Seth gave them an update, although it was vague in the details. Mark couldn't imagine what his little brother had seen out there.

  "We miss you," Lizzie said right before they disconnected. "We can't wait to see you."

  "Miss you too, Lizard." He smiled. "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone?"

  "Never. Just come home safely, okay?"

  By this point, James was yawning and about to fall asleep, and Mark wanted to go home with Abby for some peace and quiet. He could only take so much of his family in one evening.

  When Abby didn't return from the bathroom after almost fifteen minutes, Mark went to look for her, concerned that something was wrong. Or that Lisa had cornered her.