“I’ve got a lot going on. Graduation is only a few weeks away.” My interest in him, while minimal in the beginning, had waned greatly. Sebastian was right that I deserved someone who met my needs beyond getting laid. The only problem was, I still wanted Sebastian.
He stared at me for a moment and then shrugged. “You got that new social campaign ready?”
“Almost.”
“The boss will want to see it later today. Maybe you can take it up to him when you’re done. He’s a little annoyed at me still.” He cocked his head. “It can’t be easy to work for a father figure.”
This time I decided not to correct him. “He’s just looking out for me.”
He nodded. “Let me know when you’re done. I’ll review then you can take it up to him.”
“Will do.” I watched him go and wondered if I’d ever feel for anyone the way I was feeling for Sebastian. I couldn’t quite define what it was. Initially, I thought it was just lust. He was the first man who made my desire to be touched outweigh my fear about sex.
But now I felt more. I couldn’t say it was love, but I cared for him, and wished he could care for me. He was clear that wasn’t something he felt or would allow himself to feel. So, if I still wanted him, which I did, I’d have to play by his rules. Maybe if I did, he’d see that it was okay to have feelings.
Don’t kid yourself, Leah, my conscious said. It was right. I would set myself up for heartbreak if I thought he’d change.
I focused on my work, determined to be professional from now on. I completed the campaign and gave it to Niall to look over while I started on another project. Later, Niall brought the project back and asked me to make a few changes.
“The boss will be out until this afternoon. I can bring it to him tomorrow if he’s not back today.”
“Okay.”
“You okay, Hammond? You seem a little down.”
I smiled, though I didn’t feel it inside. “Yeah sure. Just overwhelmed by everything I have to do before I graduate.”
“You’re doing good work here, so you don’t need to worry about that.” He waited a beat. “A few of us will be going for a drink if you’d like to join us after work. I’m not hitting on you.” His retreat from me made me wonder if Sebastian had said something to him. “Just a friendly drink.”
“Maybe. I have some homework I need to finish for tomorrow.”
He nodded. “Let me know if you change your mind.”
I went back to work, making the changes Niall requested. I was getting ready to pack up and go home, when Niall approached me again.
“The boss is back and wants to see the project.”
My belly fluttered with nerves. Would Sebastian be hard and cold to me again? “I’ll bring it up and then head out.”
“See you Wednesday.”
I took the printout of the project and put it in a folder, then carried it along with my bag to the elevator, taking it two floors up to Sebastian’s office.
“He said to go in,” his secretary said. She was getting her purse out of her desk drawer to leave for the day.
“Thank you.” Although I was told to go in, I knocked on the door.
“Come in.” His smooth deep voice made my insides tingle with nerves and excitement. I wondered if the excited part would ever go away. Was I doomed to be attracted to a man who didn’t want commitments for the rest of my life?
I opened the door. “I have the new social media plans for the lingerie line you wanted.”
He sat behind his desk looking like the king of the world. His suit jacket was off and his shirt sleeves were rolled up his strong forearms.
“Let’s see them.” He didn’t stand and instead held his hand out. I walked across the room realizing we were just going to be professional. We’d started out that way, although there was a softness to him in the beginning that wasn’t there now.
I handed him the folder and then sat in the chair in front of his desk.
He looked through the file and then up at me. “You did this on your own?”
I nodded. “Yes… sir.”
He flinched when I added the sir. Then he sighed. “Leah.” He stopped whatever he was going to say and shook his head. “These are good. Do we have the cost projections for running the paid ads?”
I shook my head. “I don’t have them. I wasn’t asked to do that.”
“I’ll get them from Niall tomorrow.”
I nodded and after a second, I stood. “I… ah… I should go.” I should have been apologizing, but for some reason I couldn’t form the words.
He stared at me again. “Are you afraid of me, Leah?”
I shook my head and looked down. “I’m sor—”
“I owe you an apology—”
We spoke at the same time.
I jerked my attention back to him. “What?”
“I owe you an apology.” He sat back in his chair, looking relaxed except for the dark intensity of his eyes. “I was vulgar and mean yesterday.”
I shook my head vehemently. “I’m the one who is sorry. I was wrong to say those things about your marriage. You’re right, it’s not my business and I have no right to judge.”
He cocked his head to the side.
“I’m sorry if I offended you, Sebastian. Really.” I looked down. “I just… I feel like you sell yourself short.”
“Oh?” He steepled his fingers in front of him, looking strong, powerful and so sexy. I willed my libido to cool it.
“I worry that you don’t think you can have love or kids, when you could. You’re a good person.” Then, worrying I was about to tread into the same territory that had led to our fight yesterday, I rushed on. “I didn’t consider that you are content with the way things are. It seemed like at one time you wanted more… but now, you don’t. It’s not my place to say different.”
“No, it’s not.” His eyes narrowed as they looked at me over his desk, making me shift side to side in discomfort. “You deserve more.”
“So do you.” I winced at my words. “If you wanted it.”
“As you said, I’m content with the way my life is. My only regret is not being able to tell you no.”
I swallowed the tears that threatened. For some reason, that hurt more than when he told me his wife satisfied him better than I did. “I don’t. I don’t regret any of it.”
“Really?” He seemed surprised by that. “After how I treated you? Not just yesterday but this whole time? It’s only sex, Leah.”
“I knew where you stood. I accepted that.”
“Did you?”
I inhaled a deep breath, knowing he knew I’d wanted more. But now I knew he wouldn’t ever allow that. “I know now.”
He nodded. “Then we’ve come to an understanding?” There was a subtle tone of disappointment in his voice that had me studying his face for meaning.
“If it’s what you want.”
“What do you want, Leah?”
I thought I saw desire and need in his eyes, but maybe my own desire was playing tricks on me. But since he asked, and so far, we’d been completely upfront with each other, I thought I’d tell him the truth.
“You said you didn’t want this.”
“I asked what you want.” His deep seductive voice sent a thrill through my body, making me wet.
“I want to be lovers. Your terms.”
Heat flashed in his eyes. “You deserve more than that.”
“You asked what I wanted, Sebastian. I want you, however I can have you. I know I’m not as good as your wife or probably other women you—”
“Shut up about that, Leah.” He stood, and it was then I noticed he had an erection tenting his expensive slacks. “The fact that I can’t say no to you should make it obvious that you’re just fine in the sack.”
I shrugged. “I don’t always know what to do.”
He laughed. “When it comes to you, I don’t always know what to do either.” He stepped closer to me and sniffed. “Are you wet, Leah?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Well then.” He dropped to his knees and pushed my dress up my thighs. “Pretty panties. Are they ours?”
“Yes.”
He hooked his fingers in the waistband and lowered them down my legs. “I still have the gift you left me.” He nuzzled my clipped bush with his nose. “I’ve used them to get off.”
The idea of him using my panties to masturbate send a new flood of heat and wetness to my pussy.
“You like it that I jerk off with your panties. You’re dripping, Leah.” His tongue licked at my pussy lips and my knees wobbled. “Do you touch yourself thinking of me?”
“Yes.” I gripped his head, trying to gain my bearings as he teased my clit with his nose and mouth.
“Do you come every time?”
“Yes.”
“What do you imagine me doing?” He turned me and lifted me on to the edge of his desk.
“Everything.”
He chuckled, and it reverberated through my pussy making me gasp. “I haven’t done everything… yet. Do you want everything?”
“Yes.” I widened by thighs. “Make me come, Sebastian. I’m dying to come.”
He chuckled again, but did as I asked. He dove into my pussy, working it with his tongue and lips until I was writhing and panting.
“Oh God, I’m going to come… more… yes…”
His lips clasped on to my clit and sucked, and my orgasm slammed into me hard.
“You taste so fucking good.” His tongue lapped at my pussy, prolonging the sweet ecstasy of my orgasm.
“I want you in me, Sebastian. Fuck me… I need to you to fuck me.” In that moment, I was lost to the sensation of him, but in the back of my head, I knew that by agreeing to just be lovers, I’d be hurt in the end. I wished I had the strength to quit him. I suppose it said something that he seemed powerless to quit me too. But the only place this situation was going to lead us was to pain. I had no doubt of that. And yet, even knowing that, I wanted him for as long as he’d have me.
17
Sebastian
Her words sent red hot blood to my dick, which was already painfully hard. It had been hard from the moment she walked in wearing her pretty lavender dress and looking at me with vulnerable eyes across my desk. I’d been prepared to let her go once I apologized. But then she said she was willing to adhere to my terms, and my dick wouldn’t be denied even as I told myself I should still let her go.
She said she’d abide by my terms, and I knew she would, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want more. She certainly deserved more. But my dick won out. I was going to fuck her on my desk. Maybe more than once.
I’d never done drugs, but I imagined this was what addiction felt like. Knowing in my mind that this was bad and wrong and yet needing my next hit of Leah like my life depended on it.
I pulled the condom from my pocket, a habit I’d picked up from the first time I’d had Leah, and tossed it on the desk next to her. I undid my pants and shoved them and my briefs down as Leah undid my shirt and then sucked on one of my nipples. I’d never thought my nipples were erogenous, but then I’m not sure any other woman had sucked them like Leah did.
I undid the zipper of her dress, yanking it down her arms and unclasping her bra. “Give me your tits.” When they were free, I sucked them, hard into my mouth. I’d fucked her yesterday, but the fight we’d had made it seem like a million years since I’d touched her. I feasted on her tits, sucking her nipples just as voraciously as I had her pussy.
Her hips writhed on my desk. “I need your cock, Sebastian.”
Jesus, she nearly had me coming from her dirty talk. She wasn’t the first woman to talk like that to me, but for some reason, coming from her sweet pink lips, it made my cock swell. I grabbed the condom and rolled it on.
“Tell me you’re ready.” I used a finger to probe her pussy to make sure she was wet enough for me.
“I’m past ready.” She grabbed my dick and pulled.
I hissed as I withdrew my finger and let her guide my dick to her pussy. “Hold on, baby.” I thrust, hard and deep filling her in one motion.
She cried out, throwing her head back as her pussy contracted around me in an orgasm. I bit back my own release and instead focused on her. I sucked on her neck, as I pulled her legs to wrap around my hips.
“I’m going to fuck you hard, Leah.”
“Yes, fuck me hard. So hard.”
My brain started to short circuit as sparks of electricity zapped through my body. I gripped her hips. “Lay back.” I reached around her and pushed her folder out of the way. She laid on my desk; her tits pointing up at me. “Play with your tits.”
She pinched her nipples, and my cock jumped.
“Ah fuck…” I withdrew and plunged in, again and again, watching her tits bounce in her hands each time I rammed my cock inside her. She was so fucking beautiful and responsive. My dick felt like it was on fire inside her. She was so tight; the friction was enough to make me mad with sexual need. I pounded away at her, hard, deep, fast, giving her more and more eliciting cries and moans.
“Oh God… I’m coming…” Her pussy contracted again, and holy fuck, rockets went off behind my eyes blinding me with a white light.
My dick, coiled tight to the max, exploded, making me yell out as my orgasm hit me like a freight train. “Fuuuccck….” I pummeled her pussy with my cock in a crazed haze as I rode the wild beast of pleasure. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…” The intense pleasure went on and on. I was mad with it, a slave to it, and when it ended, I felt completely wrung out.
I rested my hands on the desk on either side of her waist as I sought to catch my breath. Even as I was unable to move, my dick continued to pulse inside her, her pussy continued to milk it dry. It was fucking amazing.
I looked at where my dick was shoved tight inside her. Her pussy dripped with cum, and it was so fucking hot, my dick started to swell again. That is until the sight of my cum made my heart stop.
“Oh fuck.” I reached down to grip the edge of the condom to pull out, but it wasn’t there.
“What?”
I withdrew, and my dick was completely bare. My gazed jerked to hers. “The condom.”
“What about it?” She sat up and looked down. “Oh. Did it break?”
I shook my head as disbelief and panic grew. I’d never had a condom malfunction before. In that moment, my world came crashing down. If she became pregnant, everything I’d built would be destroyed. My business. My friendship with her father. My reputation. My carefully plotted out safe life.
“Sebastian?” Her hands cradled my face and only then I realized she’d been trying to get my attention. “It’s okay. I’m on the pill.”
I stared at her, as her words filtered through my panic. “Pill?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“You never said.”
She laughed. “I’m not sure it would have mattered. You like to play safe. I imagine you use a condom no matter what. And..” she didn’t finish her thought.
“I’m safe,” I said wondering if that’s why she didn’t tell me about the pill. I had a reputation for hooking up, and while I wasn’t as promiscuous as people thought, Leah was wise to protect herself from a man who’d had many women as I did.
“Then we’re okay, right?”
In my mind, this seemed like a sign from God to get the hell away from her. I backed away. “If you’d like to use the bathroom…”
Her expression looked disappointed but resigned. She slipped from my desk, pulling her dress up over her breasts. She went into the bathroom and shut the door.
I took in deep calming breaths as I used a tissue to wipe my dick. I’d used a condom. What the hell happened to it? I pulled my pants up and went to stand by the window. I was being reckless by giving in to my desire for Leah. If I kept this up, I was going to pay for it.
I’m on the pill. Her words came back to me. Okay, so there’d be no pregnancy. I breathed a sigh of relief, pushing away the tiny
bit of disappointment that there’d be no baby. I was a fucking mess.
The door opened, and she emerged put back together. “It must a have broke and slipped off.” She made a funny face. “It was still up there.”
“They have spermicide, so you shouldn’t have to worry.”
“I’m on the pill,” she reminded me.
“Yes, of course.” I was acting like a lunatic.
She watched me for a moment. “This doesn’t change things for me, Sebastian. But I know how you feel about… well you have your life just as you want it, so I’ll understand if you don’t want me anymore.”
I sighed, and went to her, rubbing her arms. “The problem is, Leah, that I do want you. I can’t seem to stop wanting you.”
She smiled, and it lit up every dark place in my soul. “Then we’re okay?”
I needed to tell her this had to stop. I needed to restore my peace and sanity. “We’re okay.”
“Good. Because I was researching and saw a position where I ride you sitting in your lap.”
My dick kicked to life, goddamn him. “You’ve done that.”
“But in this case, I’d be facing away from you.” Pink tinged her cheeks. “I read it in an erotica story where a woman had to sit on the man’s lap in the car and he fucked her like that. The driver had no clue.”
“You want to sit on my lap and fuck me in a car?” I’d had many fantasies, but that one had never occurred to me. “Who will drive us?”
“I don’t need to be in a car, but I’d still like to try that position.”
I nodded. “Leah, we can do whatever you want. But we need to keep this between us. You know that, right?” I should have said this sooner, but better late than never.
“I know.”
“Not even your dad.”
She pressed her hand gently to my chest. “I know, Sebastian.”
“Okay. I took her hand and led her to a chair. So how about you fuck me sitting in my lap?”
She smiled, and once again, it knocked the breath out of me. “Can we get naked? I like it best when we’re naked.”
I did too. “Okay. This time you lead. Whatever you want.”
Beautiful Mistakes: Contemporary Romance Boxset Books 1-4 Page 28