Beautiful Mistakes: Contemporary Romance Boxset Books 1-4

by Victoria Snow

  He squinched up his nose. “Still, must be nice.”

  I shrugged. “I wasn’t there for the marketing aspect. He wanted me to learn about the deal making. If he does it again, chances are he’ll take someone from the legal team or distribution department.”

  “I knew I was in the wrong side of the business.”

  I laughed.

  “You okay? You’re looking a little green around the gills?”

  “Just jetlag I think.”

  “Well, if you need to take off, let me know.” He left me to work, but within another hour, I was feeling worse and asked to take the rest of the day off.

  I headed home and went to bed, sleeping the rest of the afternoon.

  I woke to a text from Sebastian, telling me he was sorry he hadn’t seen me at work and he hoped I felt better soon. I smiled as I read and re-read that text. He probably would have sent it anyway, but I wanted to think it was a sign that he was coming around. If I was lucky, when I finished school, and was no longer his intern, we’d be able to be open about our relationship.

  On Tuesday, I woke still feeling puny in the stomach. I didn’t have a fever so I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I dragged myself to class, but I was so tired and my stomach was so unsettled that it was hard to concentrate. After meeting with my thesis advisor, and checking in with my next professor to tell him I wasn’t feeling well, I headed home and went back to bed.

  “Leah?” My father’s voice woke me in the afternoon.

  “Yeah dad.” I was buried under a blanket on my couch, not feeling much better than I did earlier in the day.

  “I hear you’re under the weather.” He sat on the coffee table and pressed a hand to my forehead.

  “Yes. I hope it’s just a 24-hour thing.”

  “Too much fun in Paris, maybe.”

  I studied his face to see if he had any inkling to the type of fun that I had, but his expression was teasing. “Maybe.”

  “Everything alright with your studies?”

  I nodded. “I’m on track to finish up in the next two weeks.”

  He smiled. “I wish your mother were here. She’d make you feel better. And she’d be so proud of you.”

  I held his hand. “Thank you, dad.”

  “I’m heading out to see Sebastian. Is there anything you need from your internship?”

  “Why?”

  He cocked a brow. “So, you don’t fall behind there.”

  “No, I mean why are you seeing Sebastian?”

  “For one, he’s my friend and two I have a little board business to discuss.” A shadow crossed his face, as if he wasn’t looking forward to talking with Sebastian about board business.

  “Is everything okay?”

  He patted my arm. “Everything is fine. You rest. Do you need anything? I can have Lois make you some soup.”

  I shook my head. “No thank you. I’m just going to sleep it off.”

  “I’ll check on you later.”

  After he left, I tried to sleep more, but couldn’t. What the heck was wrong with me? I was normally healthy as a horse. I got up to get some water and use the bathroom.

  Finally, I decided that perhaps I had PMS. I didn’t usually suffer from that, but on occasion I’d feel tired and puny.

  Finally figuring out the source of my illness, I went back to my couch and pulled out my school work. I was too close to finishing to let my female issues slow me down. I opened my planner to see what I had left to do. Looking at the dates, I had a wave of nausea that didn’t have to do with PMS. Instead, it had to do with the fact that PMS occurred before a period, but looking at my calendar, I realized I was at least a week past when I should have had my period.

  “Oh God.” A tangle of emotions swirled through me. I was terrified and at the same time, excited, which terrified me even more. A baby wasn’t in the plans, at least not at this time. I had school to finish and career to find and start.

  Then I thought of Sebastian. What would he think? I told him I was on the pill which I was, but it must have failed. Or maybe I hadn’t been on it long enough. Whatever the reason, I was afraid he’d think I lied to him or tricked him. Another wave of nausea rolled through me.

  Then I remembered how he’d said he’d once wanted children. Maybe he could want them again. Maybe this would be a sign to him that he was worthy of having love and a family.

  But I was getting ahead of myself. Maybe I wasn’t late because I was pregnant. Maybe it was something else. The first thing I needed to do was find out one way or another.

  I cleaned myself up and headed out to the nearest drug store and picked up a pregnancy test, then rushed back home. My hands shook as I took the stick from the box and followed the directions on the package.

  I set the stick on the counter and tried to distract myself by cleaning the bathroom while I waited for the results.

  Five minutes later, I took a deep breath and picked up the stick.

  PREGNANT

  22

  Sebastian

  Not seeing Leah for a few days was a good thing, I told myself. I’d let myself get too involved with her while in Paris. It had been such a relief and enjoyment to spend time with her without worrying that we’d be found out. We’d been able to explore the city, enjoy great food, and the sex had been as good as ever. Maybe it was the abundance of champagne, the charm of the city, or maybe just Leah bewitching me, but I’d let go of my usual reserve and allowed myself to enjoy our time.

  I’d planned that our affair would end when she finished her internship in a couple of weeks, but even on the flight back to New York, I entertained the idea that we might be able to continue to see each other.

  Now, with a few days distance from her, I missed her, but also, I’d had time to put myself back into my normal state of mind. As much as I wanted to keep seeing her, I worried about her father’s reaction if he ever found out. And at this time, she was still my intern.

  “Mr. Cox? Mr. Hammond is here to see you.”

  Speak of the devil. “Send him in.” I rose from my desk to greet Henry, hoping there was nothing in my office of Leah’s that would giveaway the things I’d done to her in here. “Henry.” I extended my hand to shake his as he entered.

  “Sebastian. How are you?”

  “Good. Want a drink?”

  Henry shook his head. “No thank you.”

  “Have a seat.” I motioned to the couch. “What brings you in?” Then I remembered Leah. “Is Leah feeling okay?”

  “Yes, yes. Just a little bug, I think. I’m here on board business, Sebastian.”

  There was a tone to his voice that put me on edge. “Oh? Is something wrong.” I sat in a chair across from him.

  Henry shifted as if he was uncomfortable with what he was about to say. “Talk has gotten to some people on the board that you’re having a relationship with a subordinate.”

  My heart stopped in my chest. “My private life is none of the board’s business.”

  “Well, that’s not exactly true if it can affect the business.” He blew out a breath. “Personally, I hate having to talk about this, but I figured it was better coming from me than from one of the others.”

  “I still don’t know why you need to talk to me.” This was my company, dammit. I didn’t need to be talked to like I was in the principal’s office getting in trouble.

  “Affairs with the boss are a sticky situation, Sebastian. They can lead to all sorts of lawsuits the board doesn’t want to deal with. And with an intern… well that can lead to the suggestion of sexual favors for a good grade.”

  My teeth ground together. I’d known this could be a problem, but now that I was facing it, I resented the board. “What have they heard?”

  “Just that you’re having a sexual relationship with an intern. I tried to tell them that you weren’t that reckless. I’ve seen how you work with Leah and know you’re a professional.”

  My gut roiled as the feelings of guilt at betraying my friend threatened to make m
e sick.

  “However, as a board member, I’m concerned that you haven’t yet denied this accusation.”

  “I shouldn’t even be accused, Henry.”

  “You have a reputation, Sebastian.”

  “Not one that involves fucking my interns.” I hoped I sounded indignant.

  Henry scowled, probably at my language. “No, but gossip, even if it’s not the truth, can hurt the company’s reputation.”

  “This is my company.”

  “The board doesn’t care about you Sebastian except as the face of the brand. You hurt the brand, you hurt the company. The board cares about that.”

  I knew he was right, and I mentally kicked myself for talking myself into having an affair with Leah. Why hadn’t I sent her out of my office the day she took her clothes off to seduce me? Because you had to have her. I’d always liked having a healthy libido, but in that moment, I’d hated that it led me astray.

  “I just need to know that it’s not true or that it’s not a problem or something that will appease the board.”

  “It’s not true.” That wasn’t a total lie. From that moment on, I wouldn’t be touching Leah again. As much as I wanted her, I couldn’t risk the only solid thing in my life.

  Henry nodded. “I’ll pass that along.” He stood. “I hated to do this, Sebastian. You know that, right?”

  “I know.” I shook his hand.

  “Golf this weekend?”

  I nodded absently. “Sure.”

  When Henry left, the simmering anger finally exploded and in a rage, I shoved everything off my desk, sending it crashing to the floor. My desk light broke. Papers were littered everywhere. The floor was a mess, just like my life. What the fuck was wrong with me?

  I’d brought this on myself and now I had to man-up and fix it. That meant ending things with Leah. I rubbed the spear of pain over my heart. I hoped she took it well. Henry and the board wasn’t wrong in that office romances with the boss could end up in a legal battle. As her superior, I’d be seen as having taken advantage of my power position to seduce her if she cried foul. I didn’t believe Leah would do such a thing. She’d probably be hurt, and maybe even challenge me since we’re both consenting adults, but I doubted she’d accuse me of harassment or try to sue me.

  Still, the idea of hurting didn’t sit well with me either. She’d agreed to the affair and never pushed me for more, even though I could see in her eyes she wanted more. And for a moment, I’d considered giving her more. But Henry’s visit was a reminder that I couldn’t give her more and not risk what I’d spent the last ten years of my life building. Money and sex, Sebastian. Those are the two things that make life sweet. Valerie’s words echoed in my mind. I repeated the mantra, hoping I’d be able to burn it in my brain and never let my heart lead me down the dangerous path again.

  * * *

  Wednesday morning, I arrived to the office early after a night of practicing what I’d say to Leah to end things without hurting her too badly. I focused on the fact that she was a few weeks away from graduating and would be pursuing a career. While Niall and Craig both were suggesting I hire Leah in the marketing department, I knew that couldn’t happen. It would be easier to avoid wrong behavior if the temptation wasn’t in front of me day after day. I could endure two weeks of having her in the building to finish her internship, I told myself. But I didn’t trust myself to hold out if we hired her. Leah was smart and hardworking. I had no doubt she’d find a great job elsewhere.

  When Leah entered my office that morning, my first impression was that she was still sick. She was pale and looked tired. My second was that perhaps her father had told her about his visit, because she expression was apprehensive as well. But then she moved toward me with her arms up to give me a hug.

  I took her hands in mine and pushed them down. I released her and stepped back.

  “We have to talk, Leah.”

  Her face immediately registered that what I had to say wasn’t good. “You’re ending things?”

  I nodded. “The board has gotten wind that I’m having an affair with an intern.”

  Her eyes widen in surprise and panic.

  “They don’t know it’s you and I didn’t say anything. In fact, I denied it.” I sat behind my desk, needing the space and barrier between me and Leah to keep from touching her. “The truth is, I should have never let this thing get started.”

  She swallowed and sat in the chair in front of my desk. Her eyes filled with tears, and I hated to hurt her, but also, I resented that she’d cry when I’d been clear from the start where I stood.

  “I have too much at risk here, Leah. Too many people count on me for their livelihoods to let my dick ruin it for them.”

  She flinched.

  “In a few weeks, you’ll be done and off to your new life.” My stomach felt sick at the idea of not seeing her again. “From now on, you’ll check in with Craig and Niall for your internship. They’ll sign off on your time and write your review when you’re done.”

  “Sebastian… I…”

  I didn’t want to hear what she might say. She was my kryptonite. I was powerless to resist her, so I couldn’t let her talk me out of this decision.

  I stood and buttoned my coat. “I have several meetings and I’m already late to one.” I didn’t wait for a response and instead left my office. I had no meeting, so I went to the elevator, riding it to the ground floor and walking onto the streets of New York.

  I’d known I was an asshole before this affair started, but now I really felt it in my bones. It was a reminder of why I couldn’t let myself get involved in emotional entanglements. I only hoped that I hadn’t ruined Leah’s ideas about love and family. While I knew I wasn’t cut out for it, I knew someday she’d make a lovely wife and have a brood of beautiful children with a man who’d truly deserved her. How I hated that that man wouldn’t be me.

  23

  Leah

  A part of me knew this day would come. I supposed I was surprised it hadn’t happened sooner. And yet, as I sat alone in Sebastian’s office after he ended our relationship and then ran out, I was paralyzed with shock. It told me that I’d let my fantasy of a life and family with him take deeper root than I thought. The truth was, I’d felt certain that when I told him about the baby, he’d be happy. He’d see that he could have what he’d wanted at one time.

  But I’d misread him. I’d thought he had feelings for me. I could see he regretted hurting me, but he hadn’t had any trouble letting me go. His business was first. It would always be first.

  I stood up on shaky legs and managed to leave his office. I went to the ladies room to wash my face. I studied the woman in the mirror trying to figure out who she was. For the last few weeks, and even more so last night after learning I was pregnant, I lost myself in a fantasy. Today, that dream came to a crashing end.

  Before I’d decided to seduce Sebastian and embarked on this affair, I was an intelligent, independent woman, getting ready to take on the business world with an MBA. I needed to find that woman again. It was more important than ever to find her because it wasn’t just me I had to think about anymore. Now I had a child to consider.

  I’d planned to tell him this morning about the baby. Now, I’m wondering if I should tell him at all. My mind told me he needed to know. He had rights and responsibilities. I had no doubt he’d do his part in taking care of the child, even if it was just financially.

  But my gut was telling me to cut my losses with Sebastian and walk away. While I knew I couldn’t keep him from knowing about a pregnancy since eventually my father would likely tell him when he found out, I could give myself enough time to appear like I was with another man. That’s a terrible thing to do. My conscious was right, and yet, it was clear that Sebastian’s stance on love and family was one he wouldn’t deviate from. He didn’t want any of it. While he’d do the right thing, it wasn’t what he’d want. I didn’t want a resentful co-parent involved in bringing up my child.

  You don’t have t
o decide anything right now, I told myself. It was something my mother used to say to me when I’d get overwhelmed by my life.

  I combed my hair and pinched my cheeks to put color back in to them and then headed down two floors to the marketing department.

  I buried myself in my work until lunch when Niall showed up. “How about lunch, Hammond?”

  I nodded. I needed to eat even if I wasn’t hungry. We left the building, and he took me to a sub shop up a few blocks.

  “You still look unwell,” he said when we sat at an outdoor table with our sandwiches.

  “Just tired from finishing up everything for school.”

  He nodded. “That’s what I want to talk to you about.”

  “Oh?”

  “Craig and I put your name up to be considered for hire. You do good work, and we’d like to keep you on.”

  My heart warmed at the news. “Thank you. I’m so glad you think I’m good enough.”

  “Yeah, well, the boss has nixed the idea.”

  A mixture of anger and sadness threatened to overwhelm me. Of course, he wouldn’t hire me. He can’t have me around.

  Niall shook his head as if he couldn’t understand Sebastian’s decision. “Good news is that my sister works for a baby clothes designer in Los Angeles and they need someone with your skills.” He handed me a piece of paper. “Give her a call. You have to jump through all the hiring hoops, but they’re eager to consider you for the job.”

  “Los Angeles?” I’d have to move, but maybe that was the best thing for me. I loved New York, and I’d hate being away from my father. But perhaps starting with a clean slate was what I needed.

  “That’s where they’re located, but the job they need done you could stay here and telecommute. You’d just need a home office, or you could rent one of those spaces for remote workers.”

  That sounded even better. I could work from home and raise my baby. But not in New York, I reminded myself. It would be too easy to see Sebastian when he visited my father. No, I still had to move, but I could remain close enough to see my dad while still avoiding Sebastian.