Wounded Souls

by R J Nolan

  “Yeah. I hear you.” Casey raked a hand through her hair. “The whole situation is just frustrating. I mean, I get it. The thing with Drake was only temporary. But I sure do miss the big guy. Would it kill her to bring him over for a little while?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t you start.” Casey shoved Dale’s shoulder.

  “Hey.” Dale held her glass of iced tea high to keep it from spilling. Settling down, she glanced around the living room. It did seem empty without Drake. Despite her earlier discomfort with him, his gentle manner and calm demeanor had managed to win her over. “Have you ever thought about getting a dog?”

  Casey’s eyebrows arched. “A lot, actually, since Drake left. But I can’t see myself chasing after a puppy.” She ran a hand along the foreshortened prosthetics she was wearing. “Even with these, it’s not like I can just slip them on like a pair of shoes when a puppy needs to go out. Having a puppy in the house is a lot like having a small child. They need constant attention.”

  “There must be lots of adult dogs that need homes—right?” Dale didn’t know much about dogs, but even she had seen the commercials done by local animal shelters.

  “Yeah.” Casey nodded, her expression brightening. “Yeah, there are.”

  “If you’re ready for a dog, we could go check the nearest animal shelter.”

  Casey turned and stared. “We? You want to go with me to an animal shelter filled with barking, rowdy dogs?”

  Dale shrugged. “I was the one who got you involved with Drake. It’s the least I can do. Besides, I figure after Drake, how intimidating can they be?”

  “You are something else, my friend.” She squeezed Dale’s shoulder. “I’ll take you up on that.” She set her glass on the end table before using her hands to push off the couch and slide down until the feet of her stubbies reached the floor. “Let me put on my long legs and change, then we’ll head out. Just to look, mind you.”

  Dale smiled as Casey waddled away. Just to look…sure. The smile dropped from her face as the reality of what she had just committed to sank in, and she gulped. She couldn’t help wishing Logan was there to go with them.

  When she spotted Casey coming back down the hall, Dale rose from the couch and went to meet her. “Ready?”

  Casey grinned, looking happier than she had in over a week. “Let’s go.”

  Dale peered into the conference room through the partially open door. Upon seeing Logan sitting at the table reading a journal, she blew out a breath, more relieved that she cared to admit. She was never sure that Logan would continue to show up for their pre-shift snack. Every day that went by, it seemed as if Logan was working to solidify the barriers that had come up between them after the kiss. Dale had worked so hard to knock down those barriers the first time, she was determined to not let Logan erect them again. For a lot of reasons, she might not be able to have the type of relationship with Logan that she longed for, and clearly Logan felt the same way, but Dale still wanted to remain her friend.

  As she pushed open the door, she forced a carefree-looking smile onto her face. “Hey, Logan.”

  “Good evening.”

  Dale stifled a grimace. Logan’s expression and tone of voice came across as if she were greeting someone she barely knew. She set the tray on the table. “I picked up some muffins from Maurine’s.”

  Logan’s eyes lit up, and she smiled. “Cranberry-orange?”

  “Of course.” This was more like it. Knowing they were Logan’s favorite, she had made a special trip to the bakery, even though it had added forty-five minutes to her commute. Dale slipped into the chair at the head of the table. She always chose that spot so that she could be near Logan and easily see her face without having to turn in her chair.

  As they ate, Dale racked her brain to come up with something to talk about that would keep Logan from giving one- or two-word answers. Some days it felt as if she would never reach her and get back that easy interaction. She smiled to herself when inspiration struck.

  “Do you know you have to get interviewed and fill out an application to adopt a dog?”

  “What?” Logan’s eyes went wide. “You’re adopting a dog?”

  Dale laughed. “No, not me. Casey.” She met Logan’s gaze. “She really misses Drake.”

  Logan’s shoulders slumped, and she glanced away.

  Maybe Logan wasn’t as unaffected by all of this as she portrayed.

  “Casey has wanted a dog for a while but didn’t think she was up to chasing a puppy around. And I can see her point.” It was Dale’s turn to look away. She still hadn’t gotten to the place where she could easily discuss anything that might remind Logan of Dale’s own amputation.

  She started when Logan placed a hand on her arm and gave it a brief squeeze. The warmth and understanding in Logan’s eyes helped hold her insecurities at bay.

  “A puppy needs a lot of care. Like Casey said, her prosthetics aren’t a pair of shoes that she can quickly slip on in the middle of the night when the puppy needs to go out.”

  “So if she wanted a dog, why didn’t she adopt an adult before now?”

  “She kept her brothers’ dogs at her place occasionally, and I think she had convinced herself that she could get her,” Dale grinned, “‘fix’ that way.”

  Logan’s eyes narrowed. “Are you insinuating that dog people are addicts?”

  Laughing, Dale shook her head. “I’m not insinuating anything.”

  “Hey!” Logan poked her in the side.

  Elation filled Dale at the sparkle in Logan’s eyes. This was what she had missed. “But taking care of Drake reminded her how great it was to have a dog in the house full-time. So we went to an animal shelter this morning. I thought you just went in and picked out a dog, but that’s not the case. You have to—”

  “Wait. You went with her?” Logan’s eyebrows rose. “Into the kennels?”

  “Yep. I sure did.” Dale couldn’t help puffing her chest out a little. “Hey, after being around Drake, all those other dogs didn’t seem like such a big deal.” Well, that wasn’t quite the whole truth. Dale’s thoughts went back to the first moment they had stepped into the kennel area filled with rows of jumping, barking dogs. The din had been incredible. Talk about immersion therapy. Drake might be huge, but he was always calm. But she had persevered.

  “I’m really proud of you.” Logan laid her hand back on Dale’s arm. “That couldn’t have been easy.”

  Dale struggled not to lose herself in the depths of Logan’s eyes. Her gaze dropped to Logan’s lips. She started to lean forward, then caught herself. No. Don’t ruin things. She pushed her chair back, breaking the contact and putting some additional distance between them.

  “Anyway, we looked at a lot of dogs, but Casey insisted none of them were ‘the one.’”

  A frown flashed across Logan’s face, quickly replaced by her normal placid expression. “Well, I’m sure she’ll find the right one.”

  Relief washed over Dale that Logan hadn’t noticed her momentary slip. This morning had proven that their friendship was salvageable; she just needed to do a better job of keeping her misplaced desire under wraps.

  “We’re going to go to a different shelter on Friday. How about you come with us? I know Casey would appreciate your help.”

  Logan visibly hesitated. “I guess I could…”

  “Great. We’ll meet at Casey’s at ten,” Dale said, making it sound as if it were a done deal.

  Glancing at her watch, Logan said, “We better get out there.” She stood and gathered up the remains of their snack. “Thanks for the muffin and coffee.”

  “You’re welcome.” She followed Logan out of the room, her mood lighter than it had been in days.

  Dale had a spring in her step as she headed for the staff lounge at the end of the shift. For the first time since the ill-fated kiss, things had got
ten almost back to normal with Logan. There had been a few times that she’d caught what looked like a sad expression on Logan’s face, but as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone and Logan was back to normal. Dale wondered if she was just imagining it because she was so hypersensitive to Logan’s reactions.

  Pushing open the door to the lounge, she smiled when she spotted Logan at her locker.

  Logan glanced her way.

  “Hey. I’m starving.” She tugged open her own locker. “How about joining me for breakfast? I never did get a chance to introduce you to the food at Gina’s Café. You’ll love the place.”

  “Sorry. I’ve got to drop Drake off at day care, then I have an appointment to get my hair cut.” Logan shut her locker and turned toward the door. “See you tomorrow.”

  So much for things getting back to normal. Struggling not to let her disappointment show, she waved in Logan’s direction. “See you.”

  The door to the lounge swung open just as Logan reached it. She caught the door with her hand.

  “Sorry.” Jess stepped into the room. “I’m glad I caught you. Listen, if you change your mind, just let me know.”

  Logan darted a glance at Dale. She nodded to Jess and made a quick exit.

  Dale frowned. “Change her mind about what?”

  “Leaving at the end of the week.”

  What! Feeling as if she had been sucker punched, Dale gasped for breath.

  Jess was instantly at her side. “Are you all right?”

  She was barely aware of Jess. Had Logan planned on waiting until the last minute to tell her that she was leaving? A harsher thought hit. Or was she not going to say a word and just disappear? Anger waged a brief battle with hurt and won. Her hands clenched at her sides.

  She glanced at a worried-looking Jess. “I’m fine. Excuse me. I need to go.” Determined to confront Logan—right now—she took off after her.

  CHAPTER 31

  Having missed Logan at the hospital, Dale had immediately headed for the campground where Logan was staying. She pulled up near Logan’s motor home only to find her SUV missing from its usual spot.

  “Where the fuck are you?” Dale slammed her hand repeatedly against the steering wheel. Pain coursing up her arm helped clear her head. That’s when she remembered. Logan had said she was taking Drake to day care, then going to get her hair cut.

  Undeterred, Dale parked her Jeep in a visitor’s spot and marched back over to Logan’s RV. No longer completely trusting Logan, she rapped sharply on the door. When there was no answering bark, she plopped down on the top step leading into the motor home to wait. “Well, at least she told the truth about that.”

  By the time Logan pulled up forty-five minutes later, Dale’s anger hadn’t cooled one iota. In fact, the more time she had to think about it, the angrier she got. When had Logan decided to take off? After the kiss? Her hands fisted on her thighs. Or before?

  As Logan approached, Dale rose from the steps like a raging bull ready to charge. “Were you even going to tell me?”

  Logan stiffened. She jammed her hands into the front pockets of her pants. “Don’t do this. I have to leave.”

  “So it’s true.” She stomped toward Logan. “You were just going to run away!”

  “Is everything all right, Dr. Logan?” a quavering voice asked from nearby.

  Dale whipped her head around.

  An elderly man was standing at the front of Logan’s RV.

  Blowing out a breath, she took a big step back from Logan, realizing that not only had she been yelling, but she was right in Logan’s face.

  “Everything’s fine, Mr. Kelton.”

  “Are you sure?” He shot a glare at Dale. “I have my phone.” He brandished the small flip phone as if it were a weapon.

  “I’m sure. Thank you for checking.”

  After throwing one last challenging look at Dale, Mr. Kelton walked away, but not without looking back several times.

  Once he was out of sight, Dale confronted Logan again. “Well?”

  “You should go,” Logan said.

  Dale kept her voice low and forced a calmness to her tone that she really didn’t feel. “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me the truth.”

  Without a word, Logan stepped around her and walked over to the door of the motor home. She unlocked it and went inside but left the door standing open.

  Dale followed her in and closed the door.

  They faced off across the tiny living area.

  Her lips clamped into a thin line, Logan crossed her arms over her chest.

  Dale waited several moments for her to speak, but Logan just stared at her. “So it is true. You were just going to leave without saying a word.” She mirrored Logan’s position, arms across her chest.

  “I would have told you… I just… I didn’t…” Logan rubbed her chest above her breast. “I have to go. I can’t stay here. Not now.” She clamped her hand over her mouth as if she had said too much.

  “Tell me why.” Dale stepped closer until barely a foot separated them. The hurt she had been trying so hard to smother with anger broke through. Repressed tears stung her eyes. “Does my friendship mean nothing to you?”

  “That’s not—” Tears lurked in the corners of Logan’s eyes too. She shook her head roughly. “I can’t stay here!” Her voice rose with each word.

  Dale moved closer, crowding her. “Why?”

  She backpedaled two steps and hit the door that closed off the back of the motor home.

  Dale stayed right with her, pressing even closer, but not touching. “Tell. Me. Why.” A single tear trailed down her cheek. “Please.”

  “Don’t make me say it.”

  Their gazes locked.

  Like a living thing, the passion between them flared.

  “Damn you.” Logan grabbed the front of Dale’s shirt and with surprising strength, spun her around until her back was pressed against the door. She closed the distance between them in a flash. “Damn me,” she whispered.

  Then her lips were on Dale’s, rough and demanding, ravaging her mouth. Logan released Dale’s shirt and cupped both her breasts in her hands.

  Dale’s arousal skyrocketed at the unexpected but wholly welcomed turn of events. She clutched Logan’s hips, trying to anchor herself.

  Logan pulled away from her mouth to kiss down her neck, alternating between sharp nips and licks. She pushed her leg between Dale’s thighs and pressed hard against her center.

  The seam of Dale’s jeans rubbed against her clit, making her hips buck.

  “I need to touch you,” Logan whispered. “Please.”

  “Yes.” Her blood roaring in her ears, Dale whimpered in relief when Logan unbuckled her belt and opened her pants.

  Logan slid her hand inside Dale’s underwear and groaned as her fingers eased into the heat between her thighs. “So wet.”

  She grabbed Logan’s ass in both hands and used her leverage to shift enough so that Logan could ride her thigh.

  The breath hissed from Logan. As she stroked Dale’s clit with firm pressure, her own hips began to thrust, hard and fast.

  Dale squeezed Logan’s ass in rhythm with her thrusts, struggling not to climax on the spot.

  “Oh fuck.” Logan panted, her breath hot against Dale’s neck. “I’m going to…” Her hips surged against Dale, and she cried out.

  The feel of Logan climaxing against her set off the fire coiled in her belly and triggered her own orgasm.

  Shuddering with the aftereffects of her powerful release, Logan sagged against Dale.

  Dale’s arms wrapped around her, holding her close.

  Her breath sawed in and out, and it took several moments for her pleasure-soaked brain to start working again. As soon as it did, guilt swamped her. Just as she had feared, once close to Dale, her resolve had wavered, and her lon
g-held promise had gone up in flames. She pulled her hand from Dale’s pants and broke their embrace.

  “What’s wrong?” Dale asked as Logan backed away.

  When Logan came up against the pedestal table, she gripped the edge. No matter how much it hurt, she had to do this. Emily could never be with anyone; she didn’t deserve to either. She met Dale’s gaze. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. It can’t happen again.”

  Dale stared openmouthed for a moment, then snapped her jaw closed. She jerked her pants shut and righted her clothes. “I understand.”

  The pain on Dale’s face pierced Logan deeper than any arrow could. Regardless of her promise to Emily, she longed to pull Dale back into her arms and never let her go. “No. You don’t.”

  Dale looked away. “It doesn’t matter.” She ducked her head and made for the door.

  Logan stepped directly into her path. “Yes, it does. Please. I need you to understand.”

  Dale refused to look at her.

  “I made a promise to Emily that I would never be with a woman again. I just…I touched you and…” She brought her fingers to her chest and pressed on the permanent reminder of her promise. “I’m sorry. I can’t let that happen again.”

  Dale’s head whipped up, anger sparking in her steely gray eyes. “No one, no matter who they are, has the right to demand something like that of you.”

  She had to make Dale understand. “What happened to Emily was all my fault. I didn’t show up on time. We were supposed to go together to drop off the gifts at the women’s shelter that night.” Logan’s hands latched on to her thighs, and she squeezed—hard. “Instead, I was busy having a quickie with some nurse while my sister was being murdered. I swore I’d never touch another woman again. And I haven’t—until today.”

  Dale’s expression softened. “What happened to Emily was terrible. But it wasn’t your fault.”