Wounded Souls

by R J Nolan

  Her breathing returning to normal, Dale stirred. She turned her head to gaze at Logan, her eyes filled with emotion.

  Logan kissed the tear lurking in the corner of her eye. “That was so beautiful. Thank you for trusting me.”

  Dale burrowed deeper into Logan’s arms.

  By the time Dale woke, the clouds had returned, obscuring the late-afternoon sunlight and throwing the room into deep shadow. She savored the feel of Logan’s naked body pressed against her back. So much had happened; she still couldn’t process it all. Inexplicably, her thoughts were drawn to the past. Suddenly restless, she slipped from beneath the covers, careful not to disturb Logan, and sat up on the side of the bed. She shook her head at the sight of the scattered clothes and her prosthetic on the floor. She pulled her forearm crutches from beneath the bed. After propping the prosthetic in the corner, she quietly padded over to the dresser and pulled on a T-shirt and a pair of flannel pants. The chilled hardwood floor beneath her bare foot made her toes curl. She glanced at the bed to make sure Logan was still asleep, then slipped from the room.

  As she settled on the couch, her thoughts turned to her ex, Glenda, and the few times they had tried to make love again after her injuries. Glenda had always bowed to her need to douse the lights. Although it had been at Dale’s insistence, a part of her had wondered if it was easier for Glenda too, not having to see her scars and stump. Those insecurities had driven a wedge between them and remained with her after they split up.

  Her mind’s eye filled with images of lying in Logan’s arms, the sun streaming in the window, every scar and her stump vividly on display. Yet through it all, there had been no hesitation in Logan’s touch—on any part of her body. And never once had she seen anything but desire in Logan’s eyes.

  Logan’s adamant refusal to enable her fears allowed her to see that she had been projecting her own insecurities as to her desirability onto Logan.

  It was humbling, and something she never thought she could ever have—someone who accepted her just as she was: scars, stump, and all.

  It made her love Logan that much more. She sucked in a breath. Love? Of course, she cared deeply for Logan. She had for quite some time. But love her? Her chest grew tight with the strength of her emotions. “I love her,” she whispered to the empty room.

  The realization galvanized her into action. She needed to be with Logan—to tell her. After grabbing her crutches, she padded back into the bedroom.

  Logan had turned on the bedside lamp and was sitting with the covers drawn up around her chest.

  Dale’s heart gave a startlingly hard thump at the sight of her. Oh, yeah. I love her. How had she not realized it before now?

  “Hey. I was wondering where you disappeared to. Is everything all right?”

  At the uncertainty in Logan’s voice, Dale mentally cursed herself. Of course she would worry when she woke up alone. “Yeah. Everything’s great.” She propped her crutches against the nightstand and sat on the side of the bed facing Logan. She stroked her fingers along Logan’s cheek before leaning in to kiss her.

  Logan smiled as the kiss broke and the tension left her body. “I’m glad to hear that.”

  “Scoot over.” Dale lifted the edge of the covers.

  Logan held the blanket firmly in place. “Lose the clothes.”

  The husky timbre of her voice sent all the moisture in Dale’s body south. She stood and automatically reached for the lamp switch.

  “Don’t you dare.”

  Dale jumped and jerked her hand away. Her gaze darted back to Logan.

  “Don’t ever hide yourself from me.”

  Under Logan’s watchful eyes, she pulled the T-shirt over her head, then pushed the flannel pants down and let them drop to the floor. Although there was a part of her that wanted to scurry under the covers, she understood now that it was her own irrational fear talking. Clearly, it would take some time to get completely comfortable with exposing her scars and stump. But she was confident that Logan would be there by her side to help if she faltered.

  “Just perfect.” Logan held up the covers.

  Dale joined her in the bed. Her heart pounding, she couldn’t hold it in for another second. “I love you.”

  Logan’s eyes went wide. She pulled Dale into her arms and held her tight. “I love you too.”

  Elation washed over Dale. In more ways than one, Logan had given her back things she had never dared hope to have again. She pulled back until she could look into Logan’s eyes. “Love me,” she whispered.

  “Always,” Logan said before taking her lips in a searing kiss and pressing her back onto the bed.

  CHAPTER 36

  Logan leaned against the doorframe in the physical therapy department and watched Dale work with a new patient on the low padded table. The last month had been the happiest she’d spent in over two years. Dale had brought love and a hope for the future back into her life. While there were still times when her guilt over Emily’s death threatened to swamp her, Dale was always there to pull her out before she went under.

  Dale’s laughter drew Logan from her thoughts. When Dale lay down on her back and spread her bent legs wide open, Logan bit her lip. Her mind filled with images of the last time she had been between those muscular thighs. Arousal swept through her.

  “Still get your kicks watching, huh?”

  Logan started. She crossed her arms over her chest to cover her hard nipples. No sense giving Casey any more ammunition. She turned her back on the PT room and faced Casey. “I’m observing her technique.”

  “Oh, sure. I believe that.” Casey snorted. “So where did you park your motor home?”

  “Huh? Why would I bring it here?”

  “You said you were bringing Drake.” Casey’s brows lowered. “You left him in your SUV?”

  “Of course not. You know me better than that. We came in with Dale.”

  “But you don’t have clearance to enter the building with him. How did you get him past security?” Casey’s jaw dropped open. “Dale brought him in?”

  Logan grinned. “Yep, she sure did.” She was learning firsthand how slowly the bureaucratic wheels turned in the VA. After four weeks, she was still waiting to receive her clearance so that she could take over handling Drake as he went about his therapy work.

  “Wow.”

  “Hey. She’s getting really good with him.” That Dale had stepped up and volunteered to bring Drake today meant so much to Logan.

  “So where is he?”

  Logan turned back to the PT room where Dale was working and pointed.

  Drake lay stretched out on his side on the other side of the room in front of a wooden rack filled with free weights.

  “Is he okay?”

  “Yeah. He’s just saving his energy for his therapy work.” Logan let out a low whistle.

  Both Drake and Dale turned to look at her.

  Casey laughed. “Got them both trained, I see.”

  Logan elbowed her. “Don’t you have patients waiting to see Drake?”

  Slapping her thighs, Casey called Drake, who jumped up and trotted toward her. She snagged his leash. “Fine, we know when we’re not wanted. I’ll just keep my good news to myself.”

  Logan grabbed her arm before she could walk away. “What good news?”

  “I’ll tell you when we come back.”

  “Casey.” Logan growled.

  “Okay. Okay. I found you and Drake a place to live.”

  “You’ve been looking for a place for us?” Logan shook her head at the obvious question. As happy as she had been, the one lingering frustration was not being able to find a decent place to live. She had discovered that rentals were hard to come by in LA; add to that finding somewhere that would accept a Great Dane, and it had become seemingly impossible.

  “So what is it? And where? Will they accept Drake?�
�� Where not long ago the thought of moving out of her motor home had been daunting, now she couldn’t wait to get into a new place.

  Casey grinned at the rapid-fire questions. “Well, I put out some feelers to the community two weeks ago. A friend from my old squadron has a buddy who’s also ex-military that has a small house that he rents out. Whenever possible, he gives preference to a vet or military family. The house will be move-in ready in three weeks.”

  Logan’s shoulders slumped. Why was Casey even telling her about this place? “But I’m not either of those things.”

  “I told my friend Herschel about you and Drake. And the good work you’re both doing here at the VA.” Casey gripped her shoulder. “You’re part of our family now. And we look out for our own. He talked to his buddy Al, who said if you want it, the place is yours.”

  A lump formed in Logan’s throat, choking off her voice. The camaraderie and sense of family among the former military people she had met was something she had never experienced before. To be accepted into that family was totally unexpected.

  Drake let out a soft mournful woo-woo.

  Looking worried, Casey said, “Uh…I thought this would make you happy?”

  Logan soothed Drake. “It does. I—”

  A pair of warm hands landed on her shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

  Logan smiled and put her hands over the top of Dale’s. “Nothing. Casey found a place for me and Drake.”

  “That’s great.” Dale wrapped one arm around her waist and hugged her from behind. She propped her chin on Logan’s shoulder. “Thanks, Case.”

  “Well, Logan’s got to see the place first. But from what Herschel told me, it sounds like it is just what she’s been looking for. Small, two-bedroom ranch with a fenced backyard in Westchester.”

  Dale’s whoop echoed through the PT department, drawing the attention of several patients and staff.

  “I thought you’d like that,” Casey said.

  Logan couldn’t believe it. Not only had Casey found a house for her and Drake, but in all of Los Angeles, it was in an area directly adjacent to the city where Dale lived. Talk about all the stars aligning. She stepped away from Dale and wrapped Casey in her arms, giving her a warm hug. “Thank you.”

  Looking flustered, Casey moved back. “You’re welcome.” Drake head-butted Casey’s hip. She bent and hugged him. “You’re welcome too.” She picked up his leash that she’d dropped when Logan hugged her. “Hey, I was wondering since you’re working tonight, would it be okay if I took Drake home with me? We could all have breakfast together when you come get him tomorrow morning.”

  Opposing wants tugged at Logan. Having Drake with Casey meant she could spend the day with Dale, which she longed to do. At the same time, she felt guilty not spending time with Drake. Three more weeks, she reminded herself. Once she had a place of her own, it would solve the problem and allow her to spend time with both of them.

  Casey threw her a pleading look. Despite checking out multiple animal shelters, Casey had yet to find a dog she was willing to even give a trial home visit. It hadn’t escaped Logan’s notice that they hadn’t seen any giant breed dogs at any of the shelters. She thought of the rescue place she had seen online and smiled to herself. There was one phrase she’d heard often in her short time at the VA: pay it forward. Maybe she could help Casey in return for her help with the new place.

  “Sure. You can take him home with you.”

  A brilliant smile blossomed on Casey’s face. “Great! Come on, we’ve got work to do.” She waved as she walked away with Drake.

  Logan turned to Dale. “I should let you get back to your patient.”

  Dale inclined her head toward the woman who was working with the free weights. “We were pretty much done anyway. Just let me give her some instructions for next time, then I’m all yours.”

  Logan lowered her voice. “Oh, you’re going to be mine, all right. Repeatedly.”

  Dale gulped as all the moisture in her body headed south. The desire in Logan’s eyes drew her in and sent her senses reeling. She leaned in, intent on tasting Logan’s sweet lips.

  Before Dale could close the distance between them, Logan stopped her with a hand on her chest. “Not here. You touch me, and you’re going to end up on that table over there—with me on top of you.”

  It took Dale’s passion-hazed brain several moments to figure out why that was a bad thing. She growled and pinched Logan’s side, making her yelp. “You expect me to work on that table after you put that image in my head?”

  Appearing completely unrepentant, Logan grinned.

  “You can help me back over there since you’re the one that made it impossible for me to walk.” Despite having her prosthesis off, she didn’t really need Logan’s help, but she wasn’t going to pass up a chance to be pressed against her.

  Laughing, Logan wrapped her arm around Dale’s waist and assisted her to the low-slung workout table. She moved away and leaned against the wall to wait for Dale to finish up.

  Dale sat down on the far corner of the low platform and motioned Keisha over.

  Keisha rolled her chair over and parked near Dale.

  “I want you to work on the exercises I showed you. It’s really important to keep the hip flexor and adductor muscles loose. They can get really tight from spending too much time in the chair. You need to get up and use the forearm crutches. You’ll need to be proficient with them even after you get your first prosthesis.”

  Keisha looked away.

  Dale laid her hand on Keisha’s arm. “I know it seems overwhelming right now, but it will get better. I promise you. And I’ll be here for you. Every step of the way.”

  “It’s just, you seem so comfortable and everything.” She sighed and traced her fingers over the pink scars on her thigh and knee that stood out sharply against her dark skin, stopping short of touching the compression dressing around her stump.

  “Believe me, I didn’t get that way overnight. It takes time.”

  Keisha met her gaze. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

  “Sure.”

  She tipped her chin toward Logan. “That’s your girlfriend—right?”

  An automatic smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “Yes.”

  “Did she know you before you got hurt?”

  Dale wondered where this was going. “No. We met five months ago.”

  “Oh. Well…doesn’t it bother her?” She ducked her head. “Your leg, I mean.” She touched her own leg again, and her shoulders slumped. “And the scars. My boyfriend says it doesn’t, but…”

  The defeated posture was so familiar that Dale’s throat grew tight. “Keisha, look at me.” When she finally looked up, Dale continued, “I’m going to be honest with you. I had those same concerns, and they almost stopped me from having a wonderful woman in my life. You need to understand that those body image fears are our own. Make sure you’re not projecting them onto someone who cares about you and driving him away. If you really care about the man, you need to take him at his word.” She motioned for Logan to come over.

  Logan pushed off the wall, picked up Dale’s prosthetic, and carried it over with her.

  “Logan, I’d like you to meet Keisha.”

  “Hi, Keisha.” Logan started to reach out, then seemed to remember the prosthetic she was holding. She extended it to Dale with a smile before offering her hand to Keisha.

  Dale glanced at Keisha to see her looking wide-eyed at Logan. Clearly, Logan’s ease with the prosthesis had surprised her despite what Dale had said. That comfort level hadn’t come easy, at least not for Dale. But Logan had refused to accept any hiding on her part.

  “Nice to meet you.” Keisha shook hands with Logan. She looked at Dale. “Thank you.” Her gaze darted back to Logan. “For everything. I’ll see you on Thursday.”

  “See you then,” Dale said. �
��Keep after those exercises.”

  After Keisha rolled away, Logan settled onto the padded platform next to Dale. “What was that about?”

  “She’s worried that her boyfriend isn’t being honest about being okay with her scars and amputation. She wanted to know if you were bothered by my leg. You couldn’t have done a more perfect thing than walking over and handing me my leg like that.” Dale leaned over and brushed a soft kiss across Logan’s lips. “I love you.”

  Logan smiled. “You love me because I brought you your leg?”

  “Yep. That’s one of the many reasons.”

  “I love you too. Now put the thing on so we can get out of here.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Dale plucked the liner from inside the socket of the prosthesis and rolled it into place over her residual limb. What the heck? She propped the knee of her injured leg on top of the good one and adjusted the liner. She grumbled and did it again, then twisted her leg at an awkward angle and looked at the locking pin where it protruded from the base of the liner.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Something’s the matter with the liner. It’s not lying right at the bottom edge.”

  “Let me see.”

  Dale was struck again at what an amazing woman Logan was. While Logan made a point of touching the stump during lovemaking, Dale had never expected her to be willing to deal so directly with her amputation. Dale turned sideways and held out her stump.

  Logan ran her hands along the liner, then down to the base that held the locking pin in place. Holding Dale’s stump firmly in her hand, she bent to get a closer look. “Ah. I see it. The fabric is worn here, and it’s allowing the base that holds the pin to shift, and it won’t lie flat.”

  “Damn. I felt it pinching earlier, but I thought I just hadn’t gotten it seated right. I adjusted it a little, and it stopped.”

  Logan rolled the liner down and pulled it off. She carefully checked every inch of Dale’s stump. “I don’t see any rub spots. Do you have a spare liner?”

  “Yeah. In my bag.”