The Fiancé (It's Just Us Here Book 6)

by Christopher X Sullivan

  “Did you really... have a guy that was... fucking you?” Tim asked that awkward question in a stilted manner, or like he was trying to simultaneously break up a fight.

  “Uh, yeah.”

  “Well shit.”

  There was more indistinct fighting in the background.

  “What do you want?” I heard Mark say from a distance. “I don’t want the phone.”

  “It’s Chris.”

  “Fuck! Fucking fuck!”

  A moment later I heard Mark’s breathing. I made sure the door to my bedroom was closed. “Mark?” I asked tentatively.

  He breathed.

  “Mark, what’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” he said sullenly.

  “Why are you yelling at Stacy?” My voice was pitiful. Please go back in time and don’t do this.

  “She was supposed to be watching out for you,” Mark accused. “She wasn’t supposed to let something like this happen.”

  Stacy said something waspish, but Mark didn’t respond and I couldn’t hear the specifics.

  “It’s all in the past,” I said, trying to soothe him. “I’ll be over in less than fifteen minutes. Can you sit tight for fifteen minutes?”

  “Do you really have a girlfriend?”

  Aw fuck. “Yes.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I haven’t gotten around to breaking up with her yet. She knows about you... she knows...” Sigh. “That I’m still in love with you.” I was supposed to break it off days ago.

  “I feel better talking to you,” he said mournfully. “I got worked up and I couldn’t think... it’s like, I just wanted to smash something.”

  “So you went to yell at Tim and Stacy. Oh my God, where are the kids?” Mark didn’t respond. “Babe, are the kids in the house?”

  “Not anymore. Stacy just left with them.”

  I felt so ashamed and embarrassed for the both of us. This was a huge mess. You don’t yell in front of children—you just don’t do that.

  “I made a mistake,” Mark said, as if he just realized how much trouble he had gotten himself into.

  “Sit tight, babe. I’ll be there soon. I’ve got to get out of dinner over here.”

  “No—”

  I placed my hand over the speaker so I wouldn’t hear him try to talk me out of leaving. Then I walked out to face the dinner party.

  “There’s been an emergency with one of my friends,” I said slowly. “I have to go. I’m sorry.” My keys were already in my hands.

  “Who is it?” my mother asked.

  “You don’t know him.” Even though everyone important in my life is supposed to be here... don’t look at Suhail... for shit don’t look at Mel. Who’s calling me? He’s the guy that organized my book party, Mel’s brother, my lover and best friend, and he’s just been a complete dunce. “I’m sorry. I have to go right now. I didn’t mean to upset your going away party.”

  “I’m not going to be that far away,” Suhail said, his head cocked in confusion. “And you’re the King of Drama. This is totally you.”

  You have no idea. I gave my friend a look which I hope said ‘fuck you’. But then I hesitated before leaving the room. I didn’t make eye contact with Melanie or my father... just ducked my head and left.

  “We’ll make you a plate!” my mother called after me. I raised my hand to acknowledge that was a good idea, then put my phone back to my ear.

  “You still there?” I hopped down the steps.

  “I’m here.” He swallowed so loud I could hear it. “Fuck, I messed up, didn’t I?”

  “Were you throwing things? I heard something crash...”

  “No, that was Stacy pushing me into one of her potted plants. It fell, but it missed the TV.”

  “Thank goodness we don’t owe them a new TV.”

  “They owe me a new car, so I’d say we’re even.”

  “You did bring that up the other day... guess I’m worried about other things at the moment and it slipped my mind.”

  “There’s nothing to worry about. Go back to your dinner with your parents. I don’t want you here. It makes me feel even worse. I can’t believe I lost control like that.”

  I could visualize Mark shaking his head. “Is Tim with you?”

  “Yeah, Tim is here. You want to talk to him?”

  “No.” I got in my car. “Just stay on the phone. I’m going to put you on speaker and I’ll be there in a couple minutes.” I drove well over the speed limit on my way to Tim’s house, even though that was a personal no-no for me. I arrived at Tim’s in seven minutes because I beat one of the lights (which Mark had always told me I could beat if I drove a few miles per hour faster).

  I said goodbye to Mark as I pulled in behind his car and hung up the phone. Tim was waiting for me outside.

  “This is bad,” Tim said. “So bad. Stacy was... I’ve never seen her so mad. Did you really have a guy on the side?”

  “Yes. I told you yes. I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “What about Beth!” Tim’s arms were stretched wide above his head. “Stacy set the two of you up. She just talked to Beth on Sunday. Said you were doing so well, moving closer together.”

  “I haven’t spoken to her since Monday morning. That’s when I ran into Mark.”

  “Oh shit, this is bad,” he whispered. “I don’t think... I don’t think you’ll be able to come over here again.”

  “We’ll get past this.”

  “No... no. I know my wife. Shit, she was pissed. She was angry at Mark, but she was more angry at you for getting back with him, and for going behind her back with this other guy. And for making her look like a fool by hurting one of her friends.”

  “Beth knew I was still in love with him. I told Beth about Mark.”

  “So you broke up? And Stacy didn’t know?”

  “Well... I haven’t exactly... made the call yet.” I wouldn’t call her for another two days because I’m a coward.

  “This is bad,” Tim repeated with a shocked whisper. “This is so bad. You know I think of you like a brother, but shit, this is so bad.”

  “It’ll be fine,” I said confidently. “Let’s go get Mark off the ground.”

  Despite my conviction, Stacy and I weren’t fine and we never did recover all that we lost that evening. Over the previous eight months, during the worst part of my adult life, Stacy had become a mix of a sister, confidante and relationship coach. She had pushed me towards Beth, and she had been right... I did like the shy, quiet girl. If Mark hadn’t come back into my life, I probably would have ended up married to Beth. We might even have had kids of our own.

  I WALKED INTO THE LIVING room and there was Mark on the couch with his head down, miserable. A picture had fallen from a wall and the glass was shattered. There was, as he had said, a potted plant overturned and the white carpet was scattered with brown earth.

  The carpet could be cleaned and the glass replaced, but the trust he wrecked in a fit of rage would cut deep.

  “I’m so sorry, babe,” he whined into his hands. “I never should have—” He sniffled.

  “It’s over now,” I said. I sat beside him and rubbed his shoulders.

  “I got so... angry. I thought about him and I thought about... you shouldn’t have been in that situation! And I got so fucking mad and I lost it. I needed you, but I knew you were with your parents, so I came here.” He breathed heavily. “And I started yelling... I couldn’t help myself. I saw her smug face and I was like... you don’t even know. You don’t even know what he’s done to himself.”

  “I’m an adult,” I reminded Mark. “I made that decision. I did it to punish myself... I’ve always been that kind of person. I don’t know why. I’ve always felt like there was something wrong with me and that I needed to feel like shit.”

  Mark had a stony face. “Do I know him?” he asked with a deep, emotional voice.

  “No,” I said.

  “Don’t hide this from me. I need to know... Do. I. Know. Him?�
��

  “No. He’s a married man. Older. I don’t see how you would have ever met him.”

  “Where did you find a guy like that?”

  I didn’t respond.

  “Where did you find him? Craigslist? Did you go on there to punish yourself?”

  I shook my head, ever so gently. He asked about the club and I shook my head again. Finally, he hit on the truth.

  “Enzo’s?” he asked, like he was just throwing out a random name with no connection to me at all. When I nodded, he jumped to his feet. “I’m going to fucking kill Enzo!” he screamed. He was like a cornered wildcat.

  “Sit down,” I commanded.

  “Where are my fucking keys. Tim, give me my keys!” Tim was in the other room so Mark needed to shout.

  “I gave them to Chris,” Tim called back.

  “Give me my keys,” he demanded.

  “I’m driving you home,” I said. “You are not in a fit state to drive.”

  “Keys! My goddamn fucking keys!”

  “No. Sit down.” We glared at each other. He was breathing so heavily it scared me. “You really want me to let you confront Enzo, a guy twice your size? I don’t want to see you in jail. Your pretty face would never survive.” I tried to crack a joke and break the tension, but it didn’t work.

  “I would kill him,” Mark pledged. He looked down at his hands. “I don’t trust myself right now.”

  “You wouldn’t kill Enzo,” I scoffed.

  “The guy. Tell me right now... the truth... get it over with. Do I know him?”

  “No. I told you no.” To this day, it remains my sincere belief that there was no way the two of them could have come in contact.

  “Good.” He fell back onto the couch and buried his face in his hands. I touched his leg. He reached down and squeezed my hands. “I think I would have done it,” he managed to squeak. “If I knew who it was... I wouldn’t have come here. I would have gone after him... and I would have killed him.”

  “Shh... don’t be dramatic.”

  He was shivering. “I would have, Chris. It scares me. I would have done it. I wanted to... God, babe... I don’t know what I wanted.”

  “I believe you.” I held his hand as he crushed my fingers. I leaned against his body as he sobbed. “No need to cry. I believe you. And we’ll never be in that position again.” I kissed him on the cheek, but his mood didn’t immediately improve. We sat like that for a long time.

  I believe he would have killed that man. I saw Boss once in the six years since I got back with Mark. It was in a public place and all we did was look at each other. I had Mark and Alex with me. He had his wife with him. That was it. I gave him a little acknowledging nod that I knew who he was and that I had seen him. He did the same to me. I thanked God and every heavenly spirit known to mankind that he didn’t come over and introduce himself. It had been years since that outburst at Stacy’s, but you never can tell with Mark. He gets very protective of me and extremely territorial. If he knows someone has hurt me... he flips out. And he’s never forgiven himself for those eight months we were apart and all the crap I went through.

  I don’t think he would have killed the dude on the spot—not in front of Alex, but he would have sulked after the encounter. And he would have brooded. And maybe, just maybe, I’d have needed to help him get away with murder. I’ve certainly written enough murder mysteries.

  I could probably do it. However, it’s always hubris that leads to a killer’s downfall.

  WE LEFT STACY’S HOUSE before she returned. I told Tim that we were leaving Mark’s car in the driveway.

  “If you show up tomorrow, she’s not going to talk to you. I don’t know if she’s going to talk to you ever again.”

  “Yeah,” Mark added. “She said that you and I were made for each other. I took it as a compliment.” He grinned at me through his sadness and I felt like smacking him.

  “We’ll be fine,” I said confidently. “We’re going to have a little fight, then it will blow over. Mark and I are meant for each other.” I tugged on his hand. “We’ll show Stacy that this is right for both of us.”

  “She called you more self-centered than me,” Mark tattled. “She couldn’t believe you went behind this girl’s back and...”

  Silence.

  Let someone sexually use you.

  Neither of us acknowledged the reason Mark was here. That’s how we dealt with that incident in the future: awkward trailing silence... shove it under the rug.

  “I’m not more narcissistic than you,” I said pointedly. “And it sounds like she already agrees that we complement each other.”

  “Yeah, with compliments,” Mark said with a giggle. I did slap him lightly after that.

  Tim was not laughing. “Mark, can I speak to you for a minute?”

  “I’m not going to hurt him,” Mark stressed.

  “Just a minute before you leave.”

  “You can speak in front of me,” I said.

  “It’s something between us,” Tim replied.

  I walked out to my car and waited for Mark. True to his word, Tim only held him back for maybe a minute. I saw Mark wipe away tears as he stepped off the porch. “What was that about?” I asked when he got in.

  “Nothing,” he said. “Just guy talk.” He buckled and turned away.

  “You’re really not going to tell me? You, who just made a big stink about not keeping secrets?”

  “This isn’t a secret. If you really want to know, just ask Tim. It wasn’t about you.”

  “Yeah right,” I said sarcastically.

  “It wasn’t! The world doesn’t revolve around you. You’re a fucking narcissist.”

  “Takes one to know one.” My words couldn’t have possibly sounded more bitter.

  “Oh my God, we really weren’t talking about you.”

  “I believe you,” I said in the way that clearly stated how much I didn’t believe him.

  “Fine. But you can’t tell Tim I repeated this, Stacy would kill him...”

  He paused and the tension got to me. “What is it?”

  “He wished me good luck. He said he was happy for me. He said not to mess it up.”

  “That’s good advice.”

  “I told him I was probably going to mess it up—” The car jerked because I flinched so bad. “—but that I would always come back to fix it. I’m never going to leave you alone. You are never going to go to sleep wondering if I’m in your corner or not. You will always have me.” His hand was on my thigh and his voice had lowered to a whisper by the time he was done.

  I wiped my eyes while we waited for a light to change. “Shit, what is it with us? It’s like I can’t stop crying every couple hours.”

  “I love you,” he said simply.

  “I, too, you.” We stared at each other until the car behind us honked. I made a nasty face and Mark laughed. “Now I just gotta make up with Stacy and we’ll be golden.”

  “Forget about her. She said some nasty things about you. I think she hates you more than she hates me!” Mark was way too cheerful about that idea.

  “Cool it, Romeo. You’re still supposed to be asking forgiveness, not poking me where it hurts.”

  “Sorry, babe. You’re about to learn how big of a bitch Stacy can be. Trust me.” I let him bad-mouth her a few more times, but he wouldn’t stop on his own.

  “Stop it,” I said suddenly and forcefully. “I don’t want to hear bad things about her.”

  “She’s a fucking bitch. Thinks she’s better than everyone—”

  “I said stop it.” I looked at him crossly, then pulled into a parking lot so I could better make my point. “I don’t want to hear another bad word about her.”

  “She had plenty of bad words to say about you. Ungrateful shithead. She said that a few times. She wasn’t even yelling at me most of the time, just screaming at the ceiling.”

  “I don’t care.” I stared at him blankly. “I don’t want to hear it.”

  “Come on, babe, I kno
w you want to vent. Say a few nasty things about her. It’ll make you feel—”

  “No. I’m going to make this right.”

  “I tried to make it right with Stacy for years. The only reason she defrosted even a little bit was because you showed up. I swear, she holds a grudge forever.”

  I believed him because I had seen it in action. Stacy said quite a few nasty things about Mark in the aftermath of our breakup. She had helped me fall asleep in that first week by repeating how big of a jerkwad Mark was... like it was a nursery rhyme she was singing for a baby. So yeah, I knew Stacy could hold a grudge.

  “That bitch isn’t going to—”

  “STOP IT! You know I don’t like that word! And not about my friends. Especially not my friends.”

  “Babe... I know this is hard. But she isn’t your friend anymore. She’s only going to try to poison you.”

  “You don’t know that. I don’t want you bad-mouthing her. She was there for me. You weren’t. She helped me pick up the pieces of my life and make something new. You were the reason I had to go through that—the reason I had to rely on her.” I could see how uncomfortable Mark was, but there was no letting up. “I know it brings up bad emotions, but it’s true. She was a very good friend to me, and I’m not throwing that away. Not when I have the guy that used to make me so happy and my life feels like it’s moving up and up. I want to share my life with Stace and Tim and Char and Evy. So get over yourself. Pushing her out of the picture isn’t going to fix what happened. It happened.”

  “I wish it didn’t,” Mark said pathetically.

  “Me too. Of course, me too. But it did. And Stacy...” My eyes misted again. “Fuck. I was so pathetic and she was there for me every step of the way. I was ashamed when I... started with him. Of course I didn’t tell her. I didn’t tell her about how much I needed to punish myself.”

  “Why do you do that?” Mark warbled. We were still in the parking lot with the engine running. We were blocking two spots with my hasty parking job. “Why do you need to punish yourself? Do you want me to punish you? Do you want me to... tie you up? Hang you from the ceiling?”

  I shivered. “No.”

  “I can do that! I’ve done everything you can possibly think of. It’s fun, I guess, but I don’t really get why people get off on it. I’ll show you. We’ll see if that satisfies your... needs.”