Destroyed & Restored - The Baron's Courageous Wife
Page 18
Everybody nodded, and the women broke off, each heading into a different part of the house.
Following his wife, Matthew reached for her arm. “Wait.” Meeting Adelaide’s eyes, he could see the worry that held her in its clutches. Her hands trembled, and she seemed reluctant to turn back to him. “Think,” he urged. “Where would she go? This is a big house. I doubt it would make sense to simply go from room to room. Does she have any hiding places she prefers? I doubt this is the first time she’s disappeared.”
The ghost of a smile flashed over his wife’s face, and Matthew knew his suspicion confirmed. “No, it’s not the first time.”
“Then where does she go? Where have you discovered her before?”
Adelaide’s forehead crinkled into a frown as her eyes became distant. “Nowhere in particular,” she said, a hint of discouragement in her voice. “She simply goes off exploring.”
“What does she explore?”
An unexpected snort left Adelaide’s throat. “Places we tell her to stay away from.”
Matthew smiled. “Such as?”
“The ballroom, the drawing rooms, the…” Adelaide shook her head. “She is supposed to stay in the nursery because we are afraid she might cross my father’s path.”
Matthew felt the little hairs in the back of his neck stand on edge as a sense of foreboding came over him. “Has she ever gone to your father’s study?”
His wife’s eyes widened. “She tried once,” she whispered, her voice hoarse. “In fact, it was the day you came to…”
“Inform your father of our wedding?”
Swallowing, Adelaide nodded. “I found her before she could…” Turning her head, her gaze drifted down the corridor that led to her father’s study. “She wouldn’t,” she whispered rather like someone desperately trying to convince herself instead of someone who already believed her own words. “She wouldn’t.”
“Does she know she will be leaving here?” Matthew asked carefully, seeing the fear in his wife’s eyes. His stomach clenched at the sight.
“I believe so,” Adelaide whispered. “Grandmother would not send her away without giving her the chance to say her goodbyes.”
“Perhaps that’s what she’s doing,” Matthew replied, feeling his anger rise as his wife turned fearful eyes to him.
“She’s saying goodbye to my father,” Adelaide stammered before her jaw clenched and her eyes hardened. In the next instant, she was off, striding toward her father’s study at a brisk pace.
Matthew rushed to catch up with her, fighting the urge to offer his help. Certainly, he would be at her side, but although he wished he could do this for her, take this burden from her shoulders, he knew it was important that she handle this herself.
The moment she had stormed off, he had seen something in her blue eyes. Something that he had rarely seen in his life. Something that reminded him of his cousin Henrietta.
As Tristan’s older sister, she had always seen to him, always protected him, but not until recently had Matthew learnt that she had in fact saved her little brother’s life numerous times, protecting him from Matthew’s father.
Her eyes had always held the same determination, the same loyalty and conviction, the same devotion and love that Matthew had glimpsed in Adelaide’s eyes only a moment ago. It made him think of the purest form of selfless love. The kind of love a mother had for her child.
A mother who would risk everything to keep pain from her child, who knew that nothing would be worse than seeing that precious little life come to harm and who could put aside her own fears in order to do so.
Although Adelaide was not Tillie’s mother−like Henrietta had not been Tristan’s−she had raised the girl, had taken over that role when her brother’s child had turned up on the earl’s doorstep. In her heart, it probably did not matter that she had not been the one to give birth to Tillie, and Matthew could kick himself for not realising this sooner.
He should never have allowed mother and child to be separated like this.
“I don’t know why,” Adelaide said as she hastened along the corridor, “but my father’s study seems to hold an almost magical attraction for her. I’ve told her countless times not to go there, but I could see that no matter what I said, she was completely unimpressed.”
“Are you truly surprised?” Matthew asked. “Are not all children drawn to what is forbidden? Is it not that specific allure that draws them near? Curiosity? The need to know? To understand?”
“I suppose you’re right, but−” Her voice broke off as they stepped around the corner and came face to face with the door to her father’s study only a few steps farther down. Only now it stood ajar.
Judging from the way his wife’s face paled, Matthew supposed that it never stood ajar. “She is in there, isn’t she?”
Swallowing, Adelaide nodded. For a moment, she seemed hesitant, but then the muscles in her jaw tensed, and he could see her draw back her shoulders. The moment she made to approach the door, a loud, booming voice echoed to their ears, “Out! Out with you!”
Adelaide flinched, and for a moment, she closed her eyes as though old memories had returned to torture her. Still, instead of shrinking back or turning to him for help, Matthew watched her face harden. Her hands curled into fists as she stormed forward, her eyes unblinking as she focused on what lay ahead.
Never had Matthew felt prouder of her.
Not halting in her step, Adelaide pushed open the door and crossed the threshold. Matthew followed a step behind, his gaze falling on little Tillie standing in front of the earl’s large desk as the man leaned forward, his hands braced on the desk’s top, glaring at the girl. “I said out with you! Or I will throw you out myself! Bastard that you are!”
Anger boiled in Matthew’s veins as he saw Tillie’s wide fearful eyes and the slight quiver in her bottom lip. Still, she held herself upright, meeting the earl’s ferocious stare with an innocent one of her own. “I only came to bid you farewell,” she stammered, her voice feeble, and yet, there was a silent strength in the way she stood her ground that reminded Matthew of his wife.
Looking up, Matthew saw Adelaide’s eyes light up with fire as her anger broke free. Fuelled by the instinct to protect the helpless girl before her, Adelaide was at Tillie’s side in one large stride, sweeping the girl into her arms. “All will be well, my sweet,” she said in a gentle and reassuring voice. “Do not worry. I will look after you.”
A grateful smile crossed Tillie’s face as she hugged Adelaide tightly.
“Out! All of you!” the earl yelled, his face bright red and his eyes blood-shot as always. “How dare you come in here? How dare you−?”
Turning away from her father, Adelaide stepped toward Matthew. “Here, take her,” she said, her voice quivering with something held in check.
Matthew nodded, his eyes filling with the radiant sight that was his wife as he held out his arms to receive the trembling child.
With her shoulders back and her chin raised, Adelaide stood tall. The moment she knew Tillie to be safe with him, she turned to face her father. Her eyes shone clear and pale like the sky on a chilled winter morning, and yet, a deep fire burned in them that spoke to the courage that had lain buried far too long. Finally, it was unleashed, and Matthew could see that in this moment Adelaide knew no fear.
Perhaps for the first time in her life.
As he watched his wife step toward her father’s desk, Matthew took note of the way the earl’s eyes narrowed as he tried to make sense of the change he detected in his daughter despite his level of inebriation. His gaze swept her face, and for a moment, he was silent.
“This,” Adelaide said, her voice strong and controlled, but laced with the disappointment of almost twenty years, “is precisely why Beth’s mother left you.”
Matthew was stunned to see the earl turn white as though the air had just been knocked from his lungs. Did he truly care? Had his daughter’s return somehow affected him after all?
“You a
re an awful man,” Adelaide continued, one last step bringing her to the edge of the desk, “and you do not deserve our company, our love. I want you to know that we−your family−would have left you years ago if we’d had a choice. All you’ve ever given us is fear.” Gritting her teeth, she shook her head. “It might surprise you to hear that fear does not create loyalty, but it is the truth. Only respect can, and that has to be earned.” Again, she shook her head, and Matthew could see a lone tear roll down her cheek. “You’ve never done anything to earn my respect, Father. I never felt safe with you or protected or cared for. Never. You have always been the monster that not only lived in my nightmares but also in my home.” She lifted her chin a fraction, her eyes turning to steel. “But you will not do the same to Tillie. I will not allow that. This house is not a home. It is no place for a young child. She deserves more as I deserved more.” She took a step back, and Matthew could see her shoulders relax as though she had just found peace. “Goodbye, Father. I doubt we shall ever see each other again.” Then she turned on her heel, took Tillie from his arms and marched out of her father’s study, her body trembling with the aftermath of the confrontation.
With a last glance at the earl, Matthew followed his wife, wondering about the tears he saw in the man’s eyes.
Despite the man’s anger, it would seem that his deeds were finally catching up with him. If Matthew was not mistaken, he would think that Lord Radcliff was slowly coming to realise the wrongs he had committed against his family. Perhaps his daughter’s return as well as her rejection had cracked open the shell he had been hiding under, and now, bit by bit, all his atrocities found their way back to him.
If only he had seen it sooner. After all, some mistakes could not be corrected. Matthew knew that only too well.
Chapter Twenty-Eight – A Man from her Past
With Tillie under the same roof with them, everything was different.
Every morning, Adelaide woke with a smile on her face, looking forward to the day ahead with utter joy in her heart. Tillie had settled into her new home as though she had been born there, as though she had never lived anywhere else. Adelaide often found herself looking at the bright, happy child in awe, wondering about the ease with which young children adapted to new circumstances. Her laughter and smiles quickly turned their house into a home for Adelaide. Finally, she felt like she belonged, like this was the place she was meant to be.
Her husband seemed to feel the same way.
Doting on the little girl as only a father would, he often took her outside into the gardens to track birds as Tillie seemed especially fond of them. They set up little feeding grounds and even tried their hands at building a nest. Once they were finished, Adelaide stood on the ground, looking up at the tall oak tree, her husband sitting on a tall branch with Tillie in his arms. Together, they set the finished nest onto a fork in the branch ensuring that it was secure.
“Now, we have to wait and see,” her husband told little Tillie after they had managed to return to the ground without falling. “Only a bird mother can tell us if we’ve done a good job with this nest.”
Tillie beamed up at him. “I think she’ll love it.”
Matthew winked at her. “I think so, too.”
Adelaide was speechless, too stunned by the little family that she had found so unexpectedly. Even her mother-in-law seemed more cheerful these days as she spent many of her waking hours having tea parties with Tillie and discussing new dresses for the girl’s countless dolls. They would sit together in the drawing room, looking over different kinds of fabric as though preparing for a London season. It was a sight to behold.
“Tillie seems happy,” Matthew commented rather unexpectedly as they sat in the carriage one night on their way to a ball.
Adelaide sighed, “She does, doesn’t she?”
Her husband nodded, a wide grin on his face. “So, do you.”
“I am,” Adelaide beamed, her heart so full of happiness that she felt certain it would burst. “I mean Tillie has always made me happy, but now…that happiness is no longer overshadowed. It is pure and peaceful. I’ve never felt like this before.”
Walking into the ballroom on her husband’s arm, Adelaide realised that the smile from the carriage was still on her face. Although she had never particularly enjoyed large crowds, things were different now. She felt different. She was different.
To have someone at her side, who had proved more than once that he would stand with her no matter what, that he would help her if needed, that he would stand back all the same, made Adelaide feel completely safe and at peace.
It was an utterly new feeling, and one she hoped she would never again have to live without.
Half the night, they spent dancing and talking about Tillie, about their new life, about what other changes to make to the house. Matthew’s eyes were bright and smiling whenever they met hers, and Adelaide could not ignore the silent flip in her stomach she felt whenever he drew near.
As she watched him walk away to procure a drink for them, Adelaide once more remembered his words about asking her for a kiss once he could be certain she would refuse him if she wished so.
“When?” she whispered to herself, realising that her heart was getting impatient.
Once her husband was lost from sight, Adelaide turned away and toward the large windows opening up to the gardens. The silver moon cast a magical glow over the dark oasis, and Adelaide found herself quietly humming along to the music.
Could life get any better?
Footsteps echoed to her ears then, drawing closer, and Adelaide turned back to her husband, a smile on her face, determined to show him how much he had come to mean to her.
However, when Adelaide’s gaze fell on the man approaching, the smile slid off her face and her eyes grew round with shock. Her heart began to hammer in her chest, and panic slowly crept into every fibre of her being, stealing the voice from her throat.
“Hello Addy,” he said in that deep, familiar voice, his dark brown eyes meeting hers with frank intimacy. “It’s been a long time.”
No! No! No! No! The silent voice in Adelaide’s head kept repeating over and over as though it could will him to disappear. And yet, he did not.
Right there in front of her, perhaps two arm lengths away stood her brother’s childhood friend, Joseph Bartholomew, second son to the Earl of Rundike.
“I had heard you were on the continent,” Adelaide heard herself say as though the reminder would make him realise his mistake and disappear. However, it did not.
“I was,” he merely said, shrugging his shoulders before he stepped closer, his brown eyes looking into hers. “Now, I’m back.”
Adelaide felt her insides twist and turn at his approach, her mind still repeating its mantra. No! No! No! He could not be back in England! He absolutely could not!
And yet, it seemed he was, looking at her with the same knowing smile she had seen on his face countless times.
In that moment the music stopped, and the murmurs that drifted through the crowd around her finally drew Adelaide back to the here and now. Reminding herself of her position, she forced a polite smile on her face and said, “Good evening, Mr. Bartholomew.”
It was the best she could do.
Unfortunately, it was not good enough for him for he chuckled at her formal greeting. “Call me Bart,” he urged her, leaning in confidently. “After all, we know each other well enough I should think.” Then he winked at her, and Adelaide felt as though she might faint.
In the very moment when she found herself happy, found herself falling for her new husband, a ghost from her past had to reappear, had to return to torment her. What on earth could he want?
“I heard congratulations are in order,” Bart commented, his smile still in place as though he did not have a care in the world…which he probably did not.
She, on the other hand, …
Adelaide nodded in confirmation to his statement, her tongue feeling dry like sandpaper. “And you? I mean
, are you married?”
As though she had made a joke, he laughed, shaking his head at the absurdity of her question. “I’m not the marrying type, Addy. You of all people should know that. Marriage is for old men. I like to enjoy myself.” Again, he winked at her.
Adelaide felt a cold shiver run down her back as her eyes drifted past the ghost before her, trying to determine where her husband was. If he was to come upon them…?
Oh, she did not dare imagine what he would think! What he would do!
Her eyes snapped back from the crowd on the other side of the room when Bart suddenly stepped closer, invading her private space, his dark eyes finding hers. “I’ve missed you, Addy.”
Adelaide’s breath lodged in her throat as she stared up at him, unable to form a coherent thought. However, it was not until a moment later that she felt like sinking into a hole in the ground.
“Excuse me,” came her husband’s voice from merely a step or two away. Only now it did not hold the gentle, often teasing tone she had come to love, but instead rang of a darker quality, one she had feared in the very beginning of her marriage.
Now, it once more sent cold shivers down her back…but for a very different reason.
Jerking a step backward, Adelaide put some room between the man of her past and the man of her present, her heart hammering wildly as fear consumed her anew.
Then Bart turned to greet her husband, and she stared at Matthew with the same shock she had felt ever since first seeing her past materialise before her.
His gaze was narrowed as he glanced back and forth between her and Bart, suspicion written only too clearly on his face.
“Allow me to offer my congratulations,” Bart said, apparently completely unimpressed by the tension that hung in the air.
“Thank you,” Matthew replied rather curtly, stepping in-between the two of them and drawing Adelaide to his side. Then he handed her one of the drinks he held in his hands. “I do not believe we’ve met before.”
Clutching the glass tightly, Adelaide scarcely dared breathe as she watched the moment unfold as though it did not concern her in the least.