Forever by Your Side

by Tracie Peterson

  “Are you two still out here?” Faith held up a lamp as she opened the screen door. “Ah, yes. Room for one more?”

  “Of course.” Connie put aside her regrets.

  “Faith knows plenty herself,” Nancy said in a hushed tone.

  Connie had not anticipated this, but it was as good a place to start as any. “I think we have a great deal to discuss, then, and we might as well get started. Clint said we’ll leave the day after tomorrow.”

  “The night air is growing damp. Why don’t we go back inside? I’ll make some tea,” Nancy said, moving toward the door without waiting for their response.

  “I’ll go get your presents.” Connie followed. “I keep forgetting to give them to you. I brought them from Washington, since I knew for sure I’d be seeing you. I’ll join you in the kitchen momentarily.”

  She hurried to the room Nancy had given her and opened one of her trunks. Taking up her gifts, she made her way back to join Faith and Nancy. How strange that Nancy should know so much about her real reason for coming to Oregon. Connie couldn’t help but wonder what further insight her cousins might provide.

  “This is for you, Faith.” She placed a paper-wrapped bundle in front of her cousin. “A wedding gift.”

  Faith untied the string that held the package together. Once the paper was folded back, she gasped. “It’s beautiful.”

  “It’s Brussels lace—a tablecloth. I don’t know that you’ll have any use for it onboard a riverboat, but I thought it was exquisite.”

  “It is,” Faith said, touching it. “I’ve never seen anything quite so lovely. Thank you. I’ll use it for very special occasions.”

  Nancy came to the table to better see it. She ran her finger along the pattern. “It is beautiful.”

  “This gift is for you, Nancy. A baby gift.”

  Nancy took the offered package and opened it. Inside was an intricately fashioned baby quilt. She admired it for a moment, then looked up with a smile. “I love it. How beautiful. Did you make it?”

  “Aunt Phinny and I did it together. When Mama wrote to say you were having a baby, I explained to Aunt Phinny how long you had waited for this and how it was a miracle from God. She said we needed to do something to commemorate the event, so we went to work creating this quilt. I went all over Washington, DC, to find just the right materials. You can see the blocks are all samples of various techniques. Aunt Phinny thought the basic colors of red, white, and blue would be patriotic and later make a good lap warmer when the baby grew to adulthood.”

  “It’s perfect. I will cherish it always.” Nancy gave her a tight embrace. “Thank you.”

  Faith got to her feet and joined in the hug. “Yes, thank you, Connie. It’s so good to have you home.”

  Chapter 6

  Home.

  It was a concept that had taken on many forms over Connie’s lifetime. She had grown up on the reservation, and it was home. Then the government decided against continuing to allow her folks to be teachers and pastors for the reservation and gave the Catholic Church the job. That was when her family had purchased land just beyond the reservation boundaries, and that had become home. When she moved to Washington, DC, Uncle Dean’s house captured the role. Later, the little house in New York had been home when she’d attended college. Seven girls had shared the cottage, along with a house mother who had kept them all accountable. For most of the girls, this was their first time away from the only home they’d known, and they pined and mourned for the familiar.

  Connie always felt that home was wherever she determined it to be. Her mother had taught her this. She wasn’t one of those people who longed for what had once been, but now, upon returning to the reservation, she felt disappointed.

  The reservation wasn’t what she remembered. In her memories, she had recalled a lovely place with a pleasant river valley lined by trees. In and around it were hills to climb and open land to farm and log. Spirit Mountain rose like a lone sentinel. Now, however, the place she had once loved looked desolate. Worn down. Lonely.

  The storm in January had felled a great many trees, many of which hadn’t yet been dealt with. The houses lacked paint and glass windows. Perhaps the latter had been blown out in the storm, for Connie was certain they had once been there. Everything looked run-down and neglected. It wasn’t at all as she remembered. But perhaps it was just the difference of seeing with adult eyes.

  She couldn’t put aside the overwhelming sense of sadness as she continued to look around. The people, what few she saw, appeared weary and depleted of life. It was almost as if their spirits had been taken away. Their gazes were hollow, striking in Connie a moment of discomfort and fear. Nothing and no one looked familiar.

  “Connie!”

  She heard her mother’s cry and turned to find her parents approaching. Like the land, they too looked tired and old. Mama had some gray to her hair and wrinkles that Connie didn’t remember. When had that happened?

  “Mama!” She ran to her mother and wrapped her in her arms. “I’ve missed you so much.” To her surprise, Connie’s eyes filled with tears as they embraced. Had her mother always been so thin?

  “How I’ve missed you,” Mama whispered against her ear.

  “What about me?”

  Connie pulled away to find her father’s smiling face. “What about you?” Her tone was teasing. “I suppose you’ll want me to hug you as well.” She all but threw herself into his arms, noticing the lines on his face. “Oh, Papa, it’s so good to see you again.” She let him hold her for a long time. She found herself a young girl once again, her papa dispelling all thought of trouble and harm.

  It wasn’t long before Mama spoke. “It’s good to be together again. Letters do not do justice to an aching heart.” She touched Connie’s cheek. “Seven years is far too much time to let pass between loved ones.”

  “Is there room for me to join this party?”

  Connie smiled. “That must be Isaac.” She let go of her parents and turned to find her older brother grinning from ear to ear. “Just look at you. You’re taller still than when you went off to school.”

  “I think he’s finally done growing,” Mama commented. “But there for a while we were having to let down the hem of his pants nearly every month.”

  The siblings embraced. Connie felt a sense of wholeness. Their little family was all together again. Despite the changes in their lives and her worries for the future, Connie couldn’t have been happier. She was exactly where she belonged.

  “Clint, thanks for bringing her home,” her father said, and she pulled away from Isaac.

  “I need to introduce you all to my dear friend.” She glanced around for Tom and found him standing pretty much where she’d left him. “This is Thomas Lowell, but he goes by Tom.”

  Mama was the first to reach him. She gave him a warm smile. “I feel, from all I’ve heard about you over the years, that you’re already a part of the family. Welcome.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Browning.” He smiled. “I feel like I know all of you as well. Connie has told me so much about her family and her life here.”

  “Well, we’re glad you could come. The idea of the government taking a true accounting of the tribes and their culture is a promising thing,” Connie’s father declared. He extended his hand, and Tom shook it. “I think you’re going to find it all very fascinating, although sadly some tribes have already been lost.”

  “I believe I will enjoy it very much, and hopefully we can still account for those tribes that are now extinct. I think it’s important to preserve our history.”

  “I arranged a room for you in the government house, but Adam tells me that you’ll both be staying with them,” Clint interrupted.

  Connie responded before anyone else could. “My folks live just across the way, and it will be much homier to stay with them.”

  “Absolutely,” her mother said. “I wouldn’t rest a wink if Connie weren’t staying with us, and there’s no need for Tom to feel isolated in a strange place
.”

  Clint shrugged. “Well, if that works for all of you, then I see no harm. I’m sure the government will appreciate not having to pay for their room and board.”

  “Well, the government can still pay, as far as I’m concerned,” Connie declared. “Mama and Papa don’t make much money anymore, and they’ve offered to keep us fed. The government can at least pay for food and Tom’s lodging, even if they won’t pay for mine.”

  “I agree,” Tom replied. “And I already worked all of that out with them before we came West. The Bureau knows we’re going to live with the Brownings, and they were fine with the room and board fee I suggested. Therefore, you needn’t worry.”

  Clint looked momentarily unhappy. Perhaps he was offended at being left out of the decision-making. His dismay didn’t last, however, and he smiled. “I’m glad you worked it out before you came. I’ll see that the Indians get your things over to the Browning house.”

  “No need,” her father replied. “I believe we four men can manage it.”

  Connie knew Clint used to abhor manual labor. It appeared he still felt the same way, despite his seeming helpfulness on the trip south.

  “I’m sure you’re right,” Clint replied.

  “I nearly forgot. There are several crates of goods for the people.” Connie turned to her mother. “Aunt Phinny sent some, and Nancy and the boardinghouse ladies sent others.”

  “How kind. We can go through it all in the next few days and get it disbursed. There’s so much need here that I’m sure none of it will go to waste. Now, why don’t you and Tom come on in the house, and we’ll have a bite to eat. I’ll have it ready in about twenty minutes. Clint, you’re welcome to join us as well. We can get the crates after lunch.”

  “I’d like to, but unfortunately I have some issues that need my immediate attention. Maybe another time.” He tipped his hat and looked at Tom. “I’d be happy to show you around the reservation later. It would be good to let the people see you with me.”

  “Thank you.” Tom glanced at Connie.

  She decided to volunteer to join them. “I’ll come along as well.”

  Clint seemed surprised by this. “I figured you’d want to spend time with your folks before getting to work. The people know who you are. It’s Tom who’s a stranger. Your father and I can see that the people get to know him little by little. It should make your job easier to do in the long run.”

  “We don’t have the luxury of taking our time with this project,” Connie replied. “The government has a very definite expectation of seeing results immediately. I’m sure you understand how that works. Tom and I have to send in our first report in less than two months.” She smiled at Tom. “But I know we can manage.”

  “I’m going to run over and see the Johnsons,” Isaac said. “They have a cow giving birth, and she was having trouble, last I checked. I want to make sure they don’t need an extra hand. I’ll be at lunch as soon as I can.”

  “Make sure you clean up before you come to the table,” Mama called after him.

  “I will!”

  Connie looped her arm through her mother’s as they walked toward the Browning residence. The house sat outside the reservation boundaries, but not by much. The two-story log home had a small front porch, and there were flower boxes under the windows on either side of the house. Papa had always tended to the needs of the building, and as Isaac had grown up, he learned at their father’s side what was important to managing one’s property. Mama, on the other hand, had taught Connie sewing and cooking, as well as gardening and the important art of making vinegar. Her family held a strong belief that vinegar could cure most any ailment, as well as wash or purify whatever needed it. Vinegar was every bit as important as water to Connie’s family.

  She was surprised when Clint spoke up. She hadn’t realized he’d followed them.

  “I think you should still consider doing things my way,” Clint said. “There have been conflicts among some of the tribal members. I wouldn’t want either of you to get hurt by wandering around without me. Things aren’t the same as they were when you left.”

  Connie was touched by the concern in his tone. “Perhaps you could take us around the first time. However, Tom and I should be seen together, since we’re working together. I have a trust to build with the people as well.”

  “I suppose you’re right. You have been gone for seven years.” He looked at her as if really seeing her for the first time. “A lot has changed in that time,” he murmured.

  Connie felt flushed under his scrutiny. Could it be that she still had feelings for him? For so long she’d pushed such thoughts aside, knowing that he saw her as nothing but a child. Now that she was grown, perhaps his feelings were changing. But did she want them to? She looked at Tom, who was watching her with an odd expression on his face. Maybe he wanted some time alone with Clint. Maybe it would help their case if Tom could get Clint to talk about what he knew—man to man.

  “You know, you’re probably right.” Connie smiled and glanced over at her mother. “We have a lot to catch up on.”

  “Maybe Clint and Tom could set out after lunch,” Mama offered. “Are you sure you won’t join us, Clint?”

  “No, I have some other things to tend to. I’ll find something to eat, don’t you worry.” He turned to Tom. “Just come on over to the government house after lunch.” He pointed at the small building. “I’ll be happy to escort you around and introduce you to a few folks.”

  “Thank you. I’ll be there.” Tom seemed content with this.

  Clint tipped his hat and walked away without another word. Connie couldn’t help but watch him go. He was still a very attractive man, and there was something about him that had always captured her attention.

  But I’m not in love with him.

  “Ready for lunch?” her mother asked, and Connie nodded.

  “More than ready.”

  “Let us pray and give thanks,” Connie’s father said.

  Everyone bowed their heads, and Papa issued a short but heartfelt prayer. “We’re so thankful, Lord, that you brought Connie and Tom here safely. Guard and guide them as they set about their work. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

  Connie and her mother murmured amens, then reached for the bowls and began to pass the food around the table.

  “Connie tells us that you were instrumental in getting her this job, Tom. I have to say it was a real blessing,” Mama said.

  “Yes, well, she wanted very much to see you proven innocent of the suspicions against you.”

  “I’m grateful you’re both working so hard to see us vindicated,” Papa said, taking the bowl of lamb stew. “Although I’ve been quite confident that God would prove us innocent.”

  “Since I don’t believe in God, I will do what I can to see the matter through to a satisfactory fulfillment,” Tom replied.

  Connie cringed. She hadn’t told her parents that Tom was an atheist. Well, he was more of an agnostic. She didn’t really accept that he thought there was no God. It was more that Tom had decided if there was a God, He didn’t show the slightest interest in the people of earth, and therefore Tom didn’t have the slightest interest in God. It was something she’d worked hard to ignore. Everything else about Tom was practically perfect . . . everything but the most important thing.

  “Sorry I’m late,” Isaac announced, coming to the table. “The calf was stuck, but we got him out.” He turned to his mother and held up his hands. “And I remembered to wash. What did I miss?”

  “Tom was just telling us he’s an atheist,” their mother replied, as if Tom hadn’t mentioned anything more exciting than the weather.

  “Oh.” Isaac nodded. “That could be interesting to hear about.” He then appeared to forget about it and started digging into the food around him.

  Papa didn’t seem remotely shocked. After all, he’d dealt with people who didn’t believe in his God for most of his adult life. “That is quite interesting, Tom. How did you come to the conclusion that there is
no God?”

  Tom shrugged and helped himself to a platter of biscuits. “My father suggested it to me, I suppose. Not exactly in words, but certainly in deeds. His underhanded business practices and cruelty to my siblings and me made it clear that if there was a God, He surely didn’t care about us. And I found it hard to believe that anyone, even God, wouldn’t care about such deception and evil deeds. So I concluded there must not be a God.”

  “That makes sense,” her father said, surprising Connie. “Is it at all possible you might rethink your conclusion if I was able to share insight with you from my own encounters with the Almighty?”

  “I’d enjoy the challenge,” Tom replied. “People often tiptoe around my beliefs as if I might suddenly grow horns and a tail if they talk to me too long on the matter. But just as I don’t believe in a god, I certainly don’t believe in a devil.”

  Connie watched her father as he considered this. He actually smiled. “I’ll look forward to our discussions on the matter. Would you be willing to do me the favor of joining us each morning for our family devotionals?”

  Tom smiled. “Of course. You are, after all, my gracious host.”

  “Wonderful. I shall look forward to it. Now, tell me, you mentioned siblings. How many of them do you have?”

  And that was all Papa had to say on the matter. Connie was rather stunned. She focused on the meal at hand but couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d been deceptive with her mother and father. Of course, Aunt Phinny and Uncle Dean knew about Tom’s beliefs, so Connie had just supposed it was common knowledge. She was so used to the idea of Tom’s lack of faith that she rarely even thought about it. Perhaps she should have. She was, after all, a Christian, and a big part of being a Christian was sharing the faith. Yet Connie was fairly certain she’d rarely shared her beliefs with anyone. Guilt washed over her. There had been a time when she and Tom openly debated their beliefs, but when that ended, Connie had tried not to think about how different their views were. She hadn’t even prayed that he would find the truth about God for himself.