The Secret Diary of Detective Vampire

by J. J. Jones

  “And the loss of blood is what killed him?” I ask walking around the room again appearing as if I am looking for clues.

  “Most likely, I won’t know for certain until I open him up and check everything out,” the coroner explains.

  “Time of death?” I ask wondering what her answer will be.

  “Hard to say,” the coroner replies honestly. “The murderer left the window open, or opened it on purpose. Regardless, with the recent humidity and heat spikes, I am having a hard time pinpointing when he was killed. I can give you a window, sometime in the last 72 hours.”

  “Seventy two hours?” I reply trying to sound a little annoyed even though I am completely overjoyed at her inability to pinpoint a time of death. That was even better then I expected. Excellent.

  “Yeah, sorry, that’s the best I can do under the circumstances. Maybe once I open him up I’ll know more,” she looks over to me obviously feeling bad.

  “Of course,” I reply from across the room.

  “Detective, you know who did this, right?” Olivia speaks for the first time since entering the room.

  “I have my suspicions, yes. But is there something you would like to contribute, Olivia?” I ask turning to smile at her.

  “Well you know this was the vigilante vampire, right? I mean it had to be. Look at the circumstances. It’s all there, every detail. This has to be him,” she finishes and looks at me for confirmation.

  “Yes, my thoughts as well,” I agree with her.

  Recently there have been kills like this one, mine of course, and people are starting to make connections between them. The wound pattern is always the same, and of course the victims are drained of blood. We, in the department, have given the murderer the name of the Vigilante Vampire. I don’t find it threatening or scary that the connections have been made. It was bound to happen at some point, but now that they are on to me, I will have to work a little harder to keep my human persona perfected.

  “Has CSI found anything? Fingerprints, shoe prints, anything?” I ask knowing what the answer will be.

  “No, nothing,” the coroner replies. “But maybe there’s some DNA on the body this time. I’ll be thorough and make sure to find it if it’s there.”

  “Excellent, keep us in the loop,” I say knowing that she won’t find any DNA because I didn’t leave any. “You can take the body, I think we’re done.”

  Tom comes barreling into the room. “What did I miss?” he asks obviously out of breath. It reminds me of James the night before breathing heavy as he came in the same door.

  “Olivia can you fill him in,” I say acting like I am on to something. “I need to check something out, so can I just meet you both back at the precinct?”

  “Yeah of course,” Tom replies.

  Olivia just nods her head, and I can tell that something is bothering her, but I’m not clued in enough to figure it out. No wonder human men are always frustrated with women.

  “Great thanks. I’ll tell the officers out front that you two are in charge in my absence. You know the drill, collect any evidence, interview the neighbors, see if anyone saw or heard anything.” I nod to both of them before exiting the room.

  “Hey, Jack,” Tom calls to me as he pokes his head around the door frame.

  “Yeah?” I reply turning around.

  “In case I do not see you later, You wanna go out a get a drink tonight? Like after work?” he asks with a little too much enthusiasm.

  I really don’t want to, but I know that going out with Tom is good for my image. Plus, lately I have been shrugging him off whenever he asks me, so it’s about time I actually went out with him.

  “Yeah sure, that sounds great,” I reply trying to sound convincing.

  “Really?!” Tom says obviously surprised I agreed. “Okay, I’ll text you about a time and place when things start to settle down.”

  “Sounds good, see ya later,” I reply and turn to walk down the stairs.

  Instead of following up on any lead, especially when there weren’t any leads and I don’t even need to work on this case, I head back to the office where I have been working on finding a rapist murderer.

  He will be my next meal.

  Chapter3

  “I just wasn’t made to be the love type of person, I guess.”

  Jack

  That night, I head to a bar Tom recommended we meet at. It’s fairly close to my house, so it’s no big deal. I am not looking forward to our conversations and secretly I wonder if Tom has invited Olivia to come, too.

  I walk into the bar and see that Tom is already there and by the gathering of empty glasses in front of him, he has started drinking without me. Of course, I don’t mind, especially considering alcohol has no effect on me. I drink, like most things in my life, to keep up the appearance of looking like a normal human. I can not say I enjoy the taste and I do wonder if humans would drink it if it did not have the effect it does on them. I am guessing not. I am partial to the odd milkshake though.

  I walk over the to table and sit down. A waitress approaches the table.

  “What can I get for you?” she asks politely.

  “Whatever beer you have on tap is fine,” I reply.

  “And you?” she asks looking to Tom.

  “Another shot and a beer,” Tom says looking demoralized.

  “I’ll get those out as soon as I can,” the waitress replies and walks back to the bar.

  “Jack, I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Tom starts to talk to me. I prepare for the worst considering he’s already pretty drunk. “Shannon hates me. I mean she’s never said that to my face before, but I can feel it, ya know?”

  Of course I really don’t know, but I nod in acknowledgment to make him feel better.

  “I just can’t figure out what happened. It feels like just yesterday everything was going great. She moved in with me like a month ago, and things just haven’t been the same between us since then.”

  I try to recall some movie that had his scenario. I couldn’t think of a single one, so I said the only thing I could think of, “Maybe you should split up?”

  “Not all of us just give up on relationships, Jack,” his tone was a little accusing.

  I knew what he was going for.

  The story I had told everyone in the precinct was that I had been married and living in LA, when things went sour with my wife. I kept the details illusive, but mostly people just knew that we got divorced and things were so bad that I had to move away. That’s when I got the job in NY and decided things would be better if I was on the other side of the country. Being divorced also gives me a good excuse not to go around chasing women. Not that vampires do not have sexual needs, it is just that I do not want to risk being exposed. If I let a woman come close to me that definitely increases my risk.

  “That’s not what I meant,” I say trying to recover. “I guess I just think that sometimes a little separation from each other can tell you how much you care for the person. If after a week or two of being apart, you are still thinking about her all the time and miss her, then you should try and make things work. However, if after a couple of weeks, you start looking around at other women and start to forget Shannon, then you’ll know it wasn’t meant to be.”

  “I can see how that might work,” Tom agrees with me.

  “Hey guys, can I join you?” Olivia’s voice startled me.

  “Oh, yeah, sorry Jack I forgot to tell you that I invited Olivia along to join us,” he looks over at me apologetically.

  “Hey no big deal. Pull up a chair and sit,” I say as Olivia finds an empty chair and joins us at the table. About the same time, our waitress brings our drinks and asks Olivia if she wants anything. I can’t help but look at Olivia as she sits down. She’s out of uniform and wearing casual clothes. It’s different to see her this way. Her clothes are more form-fitting accenting her curvy figure. She’s put on extra make-up, too. It’s not too much or overwhelming, but accents her facial features beautifully. I can f
eel my gaze being drawn toward her eyes where the coloring is dark and full of nighttime colors.

  “So what are you boys talking about?” Olivia asks reaching over to eat some pretzels from a complimentary basket on the table.

  “The usual bullshit. Love and relationships,” Tom sighs loudly.

  “Oh, really? Who’s in love?” she asks innocently.

  “Well Tom, sort of,” I reply smiling.

  “Sort of,” Olivia looks over to Tom for further explanation.

  “It’s a long story,” Tom takes a long drink.

  “Well we’ve got all night,” Olivia looks over to me and winks.

  Tom quickly explains his relationship problems again and Olivia offers her opinion on the matter. It’s at that point that I realize Tom isn’t really looking for advice, he just wants someone to listen to his problems. Humans are funny like that.

  “So Jack, any love and relationship problems for you?” Olivia asks me.

  “Oh no, not me,” I reply.

  “A good looking guy like you. How do you not have half the women in NY falling all over you?” she smiles and laughs.

  I force a quick laugh and focus my attention on my beer.

  “Oh come on, Jack,” she continues as she reaches across the table to place her hand on my hand.

  “I don’t know. I just wasn’t made to be the love type of person, I guess.” I try to think of something from a movie to save me.

  “Everybody can fall in love with somebody, Jack. It’s just got to be the right time and the right person.” Olivia stares at me intently.

  “Relationships are complicated,” I force out. “Look at Tom and Shannon. I mean why can’t things just be simple?”

  “Not all relationships are complicated, Jack. You can have simple relationships that don’t require a lot of work. It just takes finding the right person. Finding that person that you want to be with all the time.”

  We continue discussing love and relationships for awhile. I continually try and bring the conversation back to Tom and Shannon, while Olivia seems to keep things vague.

  It’s inevitable that when we go out, we always end up talking about work. I try not to bring anything up, because I feel like it’s hard enough to deal with work at work, but then to take it out with us too is just a little too much.

  “Well gentlemen, I appreciate the drink and the good company, but I think I’m going to have to call it a night,” Olivia stands and starts to walk away.

  “Thanks for coming. It’s always nice to see people outside of the precinct, ya know? It’s refreshing,” Tom is a horrible drunk.

  “Thanks for the invite. I had a good time,” Olivia leans in close to my ear and whispers, “Don’t let him drive home, Jack. He’s plastered.”

  I nod my head agreeing with her, still able to feel the warmth of her breath on my skin. It sends chills down my spine.

  Olivia leaves and things become a little awkward between Tom and me. I find it hard enough dealing with sober human beings, let alone drunk ones. I can never feel on the same level.

  “She likes you, ya know,” Tom says matter-of-factly.

  “What?” I reply clueless.

  “You’re serious? You aren’t seeing what everyone else in the precinct sees? She digs you. She’s been trying to get you to ask her out for months. That’s why she hangs around your desk and flirts with you all the time.”

  I start to wonder if Tom is just making things up because he’s drunk or if what he says in really true.

  “You should go for it,” Tom continues chatting, “she’s a hottie. You can’t go wrong.”

  “I swore off women a long time ago,” I reply my head spinning a little. “Women and me don’t go well together. We are like oil and water,” I try to think of some other way to explain myself.

  “You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” Tom finishes his drink. “All I’m saying is that it wouldn’t hurt to go out once. I mean when was the last time you went out on a date, man?”

  “It’s been awhile,” I reply. “I don’t know, I guess I’ll have to think about it,” I say feeling a whole new amount of pressure from him.

  “That’s a good idea, think about it,” Tom waves his glass up signaling to the waitress that he wants another.

  “I think you’ve had enough for one night, Tom,” I say waving off the waitress. “I need to be getting home anyway, so let’s get you a cab and get you home.”

  “I’ve got my car here,” Tom complains.

  “We’ll come back and get it in the morning. I’ll bring you over to pick it up. But tonight, you are in no condition to drive.”

  “I know, you’re probably right. A cab it is then,” Tom replies standing.

  We walk outside and after I ensure that Tom is safely in his cab headed home, I make my way home as well.

  His words this evening are definitely making me think more then I ever have before.

  Chapter4

  “Well that’s such a coincidence. My name is Jack, too”

  Jack

  Dear Diary,

  I spent the night doing socializing with Tom and Olivia. Humans are always interesting yet typical. Tom has all sorts of problems with his love life, but has no idea how to fix them. It seems that he wants me to fix them for him. I am obviously not best placed to advise him on these problems but I did my best to make him feel better about the situation.

  On a separate note, I find myself strangely attracted and connected to Olivia. It’s something I’ve never really felt before in my existence, but I think it must be something similar to what humans refer to as love. It feels strange, but nice at the same time. Tom tells me that Olivia likes me, too, and that I should “go for it,” but I’m not convinced that it a good idea.

  As you know better than anyone, I have always kept my relationships and friendships even to a minimum in order to keep my risks of exposure smaller. Making any sort of connection with Olivia could be very dangerous for me. I’m not sure what I will do in the coming weeks, but as time goes on, we’ll just have to see how it develops.

  Devotedly Yours,

  Jack

  Since I was quite young, about a century ago, I have kept a diary. This helps me to keep sane and keep my current profile straight. I know it may seem strange to the outsider, but when you have existed for as long as I have, sometimes little details start to run together. It is nice to have a journal in order to have something to refer back to if I am ever feeling confused about something. It is also hard to keep track of all the small lies I often have to tell.

  I try and write in my journal every few nights. It is something that also helps me pass the time at night since I don’t sleep.

  After writing in my journal, I sit on the couch for a few minutes and let my mind wonder about Olivia. Was Tom really right? Does she really like me? As a vampire, I have the ability to read minds and to use that power to persuade people to do things. It is not that I can force people to do things, but I can read their minds and understand more about them, their desires and weaknesses. This helps me understand how I can persuade them to do what I want.

  The only drawback to this ability is that it doesn’t work on women, at all. And trust me, I’ve tried many times – especially in my current line of work, because not all women are innocent. Overall though, it helps to be able to read minds, it has made me a successful detective.

  Finally, I see the sun peaking through my windows, and I know that it is time for me to head into work. The nights when I am not working to bring justice to the city of New York with my next victim, I find that they take longer. Even though I had spent more time out with Tom and Olivia, I still felt the night had dragged on.

  Before I head to the office, I need to follow up on a lead that I found yesterday on my new project. This man is a rapist and murderer of at least seven women. I need to get this guy. For now he is a suspect but I want to talk with him in order to use my ability to read minds to see if he is the guy I am looking for.


  I think he works at a body shop on the upper East side, so before I head to work, I’m going to head there and see what I can find out either from him personally, or about him from anyone that’s working.

  I arrive at the shop at exactly nine o’clock when they are scheduled to open. The attendant hasn’t even flipped the closed sign yet, so I have to knock the door for a few minutes in order to get someone to come unlock the door and let me in.

  “Morning,” the man says.

  “Good morning,” I reply nodding my head. “Thanks for opening up for me.”

  “Ah, we were scheduled to open up at nine, I was just a little late in getting to it.” He waves off the door and sign.