A Springtime to Remember

by Lucy Coleman

  Solange nods. ‘Yes, you go off for your chat and I’ll sort Ronan out. I had no idea you had a brother, Lexie, and a very handsome one at that,’ she throws over her shoulder, as she heads off to Renée’s clutching the bouquet in both hands.

  My stomach is churning as I yank at Jake’s arm to drag him in the direction of number six. He follows me inside and up the stairs in total silence. When I turn round to look at him, I’m lost for words. He doesn’t seem fazed at all; he takes his time to gaze around the room.

  ‘It’s bijou, but very you,’ he comments.

  What on earth does that mean? Is he trying to put me down because I’m not staying in some big, fancy apartment?

  ‘Is Solange a new friend?’ he enquires, not at all concerned that he’s disrupted a very special occasion, one I was enjoying until I set eyes on him.

  I flop down on the sofa opposite him and he follows suit; we sit eyeing each other, uncomfortably.

  ‘She’s a friend who works at Versailles. Why are you here?’

  He looks at me, rather shocked at the tenseness in my tone.

  ‘I felt bad, being back in the UK and meeting up with everyone, when you weren’t there. Lexie, I didn’t want you to feel left out and that’s the truth. Clearly my turning up here unannounced has upset you and I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention at all. I thought it might be a rather nice surprise, but if you don’t tell people you even have a brother, then obviously I’m out of order.’

  My mind is in a whirl, then I realise his eyes are now scanning over the mess of items strewn across the coffee table in between us. I sit up, quickly scooping the contents back into Grandma’s box and shoving it back into the drawer. Although I know Shellie mentioned the box Mum discovered, he has no idea what exactly it contains. I don’t want him picking something up out of mere curiosity and then quizzing me about what I’ve discovered. I certainly don’t intend sharing anything with him before I’ve spoken to Shellie and Mum.

  ‘What did you expect, given what happened and the lack of contact ever since?’

  That refocuses his attention. Now he’s ill at ease, shifting position, and his body language tells me that my reaction really has come as a complete shock to him.

  ‘I’m a workaholic, you know that. The minute the plane landed it was all go and I knew it was a golden opportunity. I would have been a fool not to have run with it, but I’ve never worked so hard. Networking isn’t easy when you are starting from scratch and there were times that I felt so isolated, but it was my choice to go and I had to get on with it.’

  That’s so Jake. Black and white. He had a job to do and nothing was going to stop him.

  ‘It didn’t occur to you that we’d be worried about you? And you weren’t at all concerned about your family, or what you had left behind?’

  He squints, staring at me as if he simply can’t comprehend my animosity.

  ‘I knew you’d all look after each other. You aren’t trying to say that anyone really missed me, or my input, surely? And I’d heard you were offered a job, so damage limitation there as I’d ensured Mason didn’t press charges. Which was what he’d made very clear he intended to do, at first. What else could I have done?’

  He shrugs his shoulders, implying he can’t see what all the fuss is about. I’m so angry that I don’t know where to begin.

  ‘Well, first of all you have a niece you knew nothing about. Secondly, you have a wife and two young boys that none of us knew anything about. And as for Mason, if I’d known he’d made that threat it would have changed everything. I might have hit him, but it was in self-defence.’

  Jake looks at me, his jaw dropping ever so slightly before he has time to compose himself.

  ‘What do you mean?’ His brow knits together, and I can see a moment of doubt flash over his face.

  ‘Mason lured me to his house under false pretences and then tried to force himself on me. You didn’t even ask for my side of the story and I regret panicking now and not making it clear what really happened. But the way you sacked me so publicly and the statement that was issued the following day… you must have known my life would unravel.’

  He sits forward on the edge of the sofa, looking visibly shaken.

  ‘I had no idea. Mason said there was an argument and you lashed out. He was the CEO’s nephew, for goodness’ sake. When I received the call from the top it was clear, either I handled it as instructed, or you were going to be charged with assault. I thought I was saving your future after you’d made a stupid mistake, not simply looking out for my own career.’

  ‘But you didn’t think to check with me, first?’

  ‘I was moving abroad, managing the sale of my house and getting the last of my things put into storage. There was a handover to be done and suddenly I had a big mess to sort out. Lexie, please tell me you haven’t spent the last six years thinking the worst of me? Do you really think that I have no conscience at all, or that I’d let anyone treat my own sister in that disgusting way?’

  I look past Jake to see Ronan hovering in the doorway, not sure quite what to do. How long he’s been standing there, I have no idea, but I beckon him in. Trying desperately to swallow and force down the lump in my throat, I stand.

  ‘Sorry, Ronan, I didn’t introduce you. This, as you’ve no doubt gathered, is my brother, Jake.’

  Ronan steps forward, holding out his hand, but his eyes are steely. Jake immediately jumps up, walking towards Ronan, and I can see the handshake is a firm one. The contact between them is cagey, very alpha male.

  ‘I’m Lexie’s boyfriend,’ Ronan says rather gruffly.

  ‘Oh. I see. Well, nice to meet you, Ronan, and I’m sorry, as I seem to have caused offence by not informing Lexie I was coming. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. Please, you two, don’t let me keep you from the celebration. This was a bad idea and—’

  He sounds genuinely regretful and I wish instead he’d just lost his cool and stormed off. Now I have to handle this somehow.

  ‘Have you eaten?’ I ask, floundering to find something to say. Jake turns back to look at me. Over his shoulder Ronan is making faces and it’s obvious he wants me to send Jake away.

  ‘No. I dropped my stuff off at the hotel and had the taxi bring me to the address I’d been given. Only Brooke, my wife, knows I’m here. I wish now I’d spoken to Mum, or Shellie, first. They thought I was just going to send you a card.’

  ‘Look, I don’t want there to be any animosity today, as that wouldn’t be fair on Solange and her fiancé. Ronan, would you mind introducing Jake to Renée and Philippe, then take him over to the buffet? It will look odd now if he just disappears. I need a moment or two to touch up my make-up and then I’ll join you.’

  Both men stare at me and I can’t look them in the face. A few seconds later I’m alone and I collapse down onto the sofa.

  ‘Why today of all days?’ I murmur between gritted teeth.

  The thing I really can’t get over is that, as far as I can tell, he has nothing to gain from his rash decision to come and see me. Did he really come all this way expecting me to what… burst into tears and hug him like a dutiful sister?

  There are always two sides to every story. Obviously, Jake’s version is very different from the one I’ve been stewing over. Now I find myself wondering if he wasn’t quite the villain I thought he was. Nothing could have prepared me for that; nothing.

  25

  A Twilight Confession

  At the height of the party there must be nearly fifty people milling around, lots of comings and goings, as some head for home and others arrive. The buffet table is cleared and early evening a guy arrives with a huge frying pan, the biggest I’ve ever seen. It takes two of them to set everything up and light a fire in a huge metal cage. Once the coals are hot, the oil in the pan starts to sizzle and it’s quickly filled with wild boar and apple sausages, spicy Andouillettes and the moist, distinctive boudins blancs.

  The buffet table is filled with baskets of sliced baguette and c
ondiments. There are bowls of several different types of mustard, some very peppery and spicy; and some milder sauces similar to a classic béarnaise, the latter made from scratch by Renée.

  As the light begins to fade the ambience is more intimate and people are happier sitting now, some wonderful French songs wafting out from number one. Slowly people start drifting home or settling in groups, and eventually I can no longer avoid my brother.

  Ronan steers us to a table in the far corner, which looks directly across at the gorgeous water display. This was supposed to be such a perfect day and it has been for everyone, thank goodness, but not for me, or Jake, or Ronan, for that matter.

  Ronan has continued to grit his teeth and introduce Jake to keep him circulating. It took Jake a while to get over the shock of my initial reaction, but he’s a sociable person by nature. Put him in amongst a group of people and he’ll find something to talk about. In fairness, his French is pretty good, because when he was fifteen, he took part in one of those school foreign-exchange programmes. He spent a month living with a French family, near Toulouse, and a young man named Luc took his place at home with us. As the youngest, I can’t really remember much about it, only that I felt we had the best deal.

  Have I always resented my brother just a tad? I wonder. The fact he was older and had more freedom, more ability? That need, as the youngest of three, to be heard, even though you don’t really have much to say that hasn’t already been said.

  ‘Are we going to sit here eating in total silence the entire time?’ Ronan enquires, sitting between us as we stab at the delicious food on our plates, rather than making eye contact.

  ‘You’re right. This is ridiculous. Look, Jake, I don’t want to talk about the past tonight. You’re here now, so you might as well bring me up to date on your news. It was a shock to hear that Mum had sold the house and I am a little worried about that, to be honest.’

  Jake has hardly touched his food yet, I notice, but he picks up a chunk of crunchy baguette, opening it up to manoeuvre slices of sausages inside. It does smell delicious and, after having skipped lunch, I follow suit, because my stomach is beginning to complain.

  ‘You can’t repeat this,’ he says, pausing for a second as he chews, ‘but she’s tired of worrying about the maintenance of the old house. It’s too big for her and, as much as it’s full of memories, the last handyman she had has now retired. Mum said that she phones a plumber and he doesn’t turn up, so she rings again, and they promise they’ll call round to price up the job, but they don’t. The same with the garden. It’s too much for her and she’s had a succession of people in to cut the grass and trim the bushes and hedges she can’t reach. She’ll find someone good and then after a while they either say the job is too small, or they suddenly stop calling in.’

  Guilt begins to wash over me and I’m wondering why this has come as such a shock. ‘Mum never said anything.’

  ‘She didn’t want to worry anyone. Both you and Shellie have your own lives to lead and it’s not in Mum’s nature to ask for help, is it?’

  ‘But she told you the minute you arrived back?’

  I can’t help a little note of suspicion creeping in, as it’s so convenient for Mum to live in and help with Jake’s family. Isn’t that just a little bit too much of a coincidence?

  ‘No, actually she didn’t say anything. I paid her a couple of visits, as obviously there was a lot to tell her and I’ve been a bad son. A bad brother, too, I know that – now. I noticed some damp around the kitchen window and some of the tiles were loose. When I mentioned it, she said, “Oh, I have a list of little things as long as my arm, but I’ve given up looking for a man who can. Seems there aren’t many of them about these days, unless you want to have an extension built, or all of the windows in your house replaced.” And I realised she’s been struggling for a while.’

  ‘But you encouraged her to sell the house?’

  Ronan is tucking into his food, but he’s listening to every single word. There is an edge between Jake and me as we talk, and I’m having to try very hard not to sound accusatory.

  ‘No. Of course not. It’s been her home for a very long time, but have you taken a good look at it lately? I suggested that she move in to Betterwood Farm for a few months while we get the builders in. It needs a new kitchen, upgraded bathrooms, maybe even new electrics.’

  I study his face and scan his eyes, looking for anything that might indicate he’s lying to me.

  ‘And now she’s sold up, thanks to you.’ I throw the words at him because I don’t want to leave him in any doubt at all that I think he’s manipulating her.

  Suddenly he pushes his plate away and sits back in his seat, staring across at me.

  ‘The decision to put it on the market was all hers, I simply contacted an agent who had someone on their books looking for a fixer-upper. The truth is that the place Mum’s moving into has everything she needs. Privacy, as it’s detached and has its own little garden, and it was fully renovated only eighteen months ago. She’s excited about it as there will be no more worries about who cuts the grass, or if a tile gets blown off the roof.’

  It’s as if he’s appealing to me, begging me to understand.

  ‘Because you’ll sort everything?’

  ‘When you say it like that it sounds all wrong. I’m not trying to take over her life, quite the reverse. I want to make it easier. This isn’t about using Mum, Lexie, why would you think that? Mum offered to help out as Brooke and the kids get settled in. Admittedly, at the moment that’s precisely what we need, as I’m busy getting the business off the ground. But Mum will still have her own life and go off with her friends and do the things she enjoys doing. It’s not like she’s going to be an unpaid servant.’

  He seems rather horrified that’s what I assumed.

  ‘Your problem, Jake,’ I reply, talking very slowly and in the most even tone I can muster, ‘is that you don’t communicate. You just do things. Did it never occur to you for a moment to at least let Shellie and me know what was going on? It’s like history repeating itself.’

  ‘How?’ He is genuinely struggling to see what he’s done wrong.

  ‘When you flew off, you left behind total chaos. You fly back as if you haven’t been gone for six whole years and the chaos instantly returns. Like turning up today. Oh, in your head, and the way it probably sounded to Brooke, it was a great idea. Find your baby sister and catch up, so that everything is fine on her return to the UK. Another annoying little thing ticked off the list.’

  Jake sucks in a deep breath at my harsh words, taking a moment to look around the courtyard. It’s buzzing with chatter and laughter, the bunting and the twinkling lights adding a delightful ambience to an already beautiful setting. And yet, here we are, sitting here all tense and angry. When he starts speaking, he can’t even look at me.

  ‘I jumped in with both feet without thinking and it was wrong of me. I couldn’t wait for you to get back, because everything else is coming together nicely. Even Shellie has forgiven me for my absence and lack of contact; she hasn’t said as much, but I can tell. I know I did wrong. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Lexie, and I’m truly sorry about that. I’d have punched Mason myself if I’d known the truth. I’m shocked he would do that to you. If only you had told me, I wouldn’t have hesitated, believe me.’

  I shake my head, sadly.

  ‘You don’t always make time to listen, Jake. You get so caught up in pushing forward and getting things done that you don’t see people backing away from you. I just don’t want Mum getting caught up in that way and ending up regretting her decision, that’s all.’

  Even Ronan has stopped eating now, as the words being exchanged take a sudden turn. The anger has subsided, but the hurt remains.

  ‘I didn’t know you felt that way, Lexie. But I have changed in many ways. Brooke slows me down and having the boys, well, it wasn’t planned, but it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. It’s why I’ve come home, because it reminded me that wh
at was missing from my life was family. Everything I had was centred around work; it filled every waking hour. Every friend I had wanted something from me, and I guess I wanted something from them. Brooke saw another side of me and overnight everything changed. She sacrificed a lot so we could settle in the UK because she knew it would change me for the better.’

  And Ronan is doing the same thing for me. At least Jake realises what she’s giving up in order to make him happy.

  Was I wrong to assume his motive in coming here was to interfere in my life? It’s strange to hear him talking like this about his feelings.

  ‘Look, guys, it’s almost nine p.m. and people will begin heading for home soon.’ Ronan places his hand on my arm, giving it a squeeze. ‘You were up early, Lexie, and you’re bound to be tired. I’ll hang around and help clear up. Perhaps Jake will give a hand too, if you want to call it a day and get some rest.’

  ‘Great idea,’ Jake jumps in. ‘Maybe we can all meet up for breakfast tomorrow, as I fly back in the afternoon. I have some photos to show you of Brooke and the kids, and Mum’s place, as I wanted you to feel a part of it. What do you think?’

  Ronan is right. I’m done for today and there’s so much whirling around inside my head that I need time alone to process it all.

  I stand, allowing Jake to come around the table to give me a lingering hug. When he steps away, Ronan places his arm around my shoulders, steering me in the direction of the door to number six.

  ‘I’ll be in as soon as I can. Don’t worry about anything, just try to unwind and jump into bed.’

  I’m overtired and a little overwhelmed, so many conflicting emotions flooding through me that I don’t even try to answer him as his lips brush my cheek. Did my brother abandon me, or did I abandon my brother?

  Sitting up in bed nursing cups of strong black coffee, Ronan and I watch the dawn breaking. As the sky takes on that surreal, early-morning opaque quality and the birdsong heralds the beginning of a new day, I’m feeling surprisingly upbeat.