Raining Cats and Killers: Cozy Mystery (Country Cottage Mysteries Book 17)

by Addison Moore

  I offer a quick smile her way.

  Here’s hoping

  The drive from the cottage to the gazebo is more or less uneventful, as in no lightning strikes, the earth didn’t crack open and swallow us whole, and we weren’t attacked by a herd of zombies.

  Jordy, however—who looks dashing in a pale gray suit—boo-hooed all the way over. Not only did he shed one too many tears, but he intermittently threatened to break Leo’s neck if he does anything to hurt Emmie.

  As much as I don’t condone death threats, it warmed my heart to hear it. I held Fish and Emmie held Snuggles and Bingo while the dogs ran alongside us and we all miraculously arrived in once piece.

  We stand behind the evergreen shrubs that create a hedge between us and the gazebo and peer through the branches at the heavenly sight. The guests are already in place, the trio of violinists are already blessing us with their melodic rhythms, and deep in the gazebo I see Jasper speaking with the man of the hour, the groom himself.

  They both have on matching pale gray suits and look so dapper. From this vantage point, with their dark hair and similar bone structure, they look interchangeable, like brothers in the least.

  The gazebo is a massive structure about twenty feet tall with a wide girth. It’s glossy white wrought iron with roses crafted into it, and on this day it has a smattering of fresh flowers woven through it as well.

  Since the flowers in the giant pots I have framing the entry to the gazebo were decimated, I had Jordy run out and buy the biggest pink dogwood plants he could find and we ended up putting those in and they look fabulous with their delicate pink blooms. Rows and rows of white ladder-back chairs are set out in front of the gazebo, and each and every one of them is already filled with a wedding guest.

  A white aisle runner stretches fifty feet out from the altar and leads right into the heart of the gazebo. It’s already peppered with peach and pink rose petals since Emmie doesn’t have a flower girl. Nessa volunteered to do the deed this morning, and it adds to the fairy-tale appeal of this already magical day.

  “Oh, Bizzy.” Emmie sniffs hard, and I hand her a tissue from the wad in my fist. “Everything is perfect.”

  “You’re perfect,” I say as I take her in one last time. “How about a selfie?”

  “Yes, for sure,” she says, hoisting Snuggles and Bingo close to her neck and I do the same with Fish.

  “It’s a little shady behind these trees. I’d better turn my flash on. Three, two…”

  What’s a flash? Snuggles asks just as an explosion of light, as bright as a nuclear detonation, goes off and both Snuggles and Bingo let out a riotous screech at the top of their lungs.

  The cats use Emmie’s chest as a springboard as Snuggles claws her way onto Emmie’s head by way of her hair, and Bingo leaves a bright yellow mark across the front of Emmie’s dress as he escapes with a hiss.

  “Oh my word!” Emmie howls. “I think he just sprayed me!”

  “Oh no!” I quickly do my best to dab her dress clean because he sure as heck just sprayed his terrified little heart out all over Ophelia’s haunted frock. To add insult to smelly injury, Snuggles ruined her perfect coils, and it looks as if Emmie just stuck her finger into an electrical socket.

  The violinists stop abruptly, and just like that, the “Wedding March” begins.

  “Don’t worry about it,” I pant as I glance to the anxious crowd standing to their feet in anticipation of the bride.

  Jasper pops up in our midst, and behind him is Emmie’s father, both of which look dashing.

  “Emmie”—Jasper sheds an easy smile—“you look great.”

  “She looks beautiful.” Emmie’s father steps in close and his nose twitches. He’s essentially an older version of Jordy. “What in the hell is that smell?”

  “And that’s my cue.” I give Emmie a quick kiss to the cheek as Jasper takes me by the arm. We walk slowly down the aisle, and it brings back so many good memories of our special day, it feels as if we’re reliving it.

  “What was that smell?” Jasper whispers through the side of his mouth.

  “Ophelia’s perfume,” I whisper back. No sooner do I say it than I notice an older woman seated near the back with her short gray hair styled immaculately. She has bony features, is dressed in a lavender gown, and looks resplendent in her own right. She also looks vaguely familiar, and it’s bugging me why I can’t place her.

  And just past her, I can see all of our friends and family here. Mom and Brennan, Macy and Candy, Hux and Mackenzie, and, of course, Georgie and Juni all waving like mad as we pass them by.

  Finally, Emmie heads this way with her arm hugging her father’s. He drops a kiss to her cheek and deposits her right where she’s been destined to be all along, right next to Leo Granger.

  Snuggles, Bingo, and Fish run over and land by my feet while Sherlock sits at Jasper’s side. And before the ceremony is set to begin, the pastor asks us to turn around and welcome a couple of special guests. We do just that and watch as both Cinnamon and Gatsby walk proudly down the aisle. Cinnamon has a pink rhinestone collar around her neck and attached to it is a white ring box. Gatsby has a black leather collar on and attached to it is a white ring box as well. They both look so regal and proud, it brings tears to my eyes that I predict won’t be leaving any time soon.

  Everyone coos at the furry pair while snapping their picture, and as it’s quickly evident, Cinnamon and Gatsby have stolen the show.

  Vows are said, rings are exchanged, and before Emmie, Leo, or Ophelia can change their minds, Emmie and Leo share a kiss that almost makes me want to say get a room—preferably a room that isn’t a part of a sting operation by the local sheriff’s department.

  The pastor lifts the Bible in his hand. “And for the first time ever, I’d like to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Leo Granger!”

  Emmie and Leo race down the aisle as their friends and family cheer like mad, and on their tails are Cinnamon and Gatsby—and on their tails are Sherlock, Fish, Snuggles, and Bingo. The guests light up with laughter, and it’s a happy ending for all.

  “They did it!” I shout as I wrap my arms around Jasper and he spins me in a circle.

  “And it looks as if they’ll live to tell about it. How about we hit the buffet? I’m starved.”

  “I’m right there with you. But I think we need to take a few pictures first.”

  We take more than a few pictures, and the sun has set by the time we make it to the reception. We’ve laid out a dance floor over the sand and set the tables and chairs along the back patio of the café with rows of white twinkle lights hovering above them, creating a ceiling of light overhead.

  Both Jasper and I give a brief yet loving speech, as does Jordy—his speech might have been laced with mild threats—and right after that, dinner begins and ends before we know it. A DJ and a live band take turns keeping the bodies on the dance floor moving— and among those bodies I spy Nessa and Grady looking mighty cozy. There might be a romance brewing between the two of them yet.

  Leo, Emmie, Jasper, Huxley, Mackenzie, and I stand looking out at the water as the waves fall over the shoreline, glowing as if they were illuminated. The men talk about basketball while we girls soak in the magic only a night like this can bring.

  “We used to do this when we were kids,” Mackenzie says as she rubs her ample belly. “The three of us used to run around the cove as if we owned it.”

  Emmie nods. “And now Bizzy owns it.”

  “And Mackenzie is the mayor,” I point out. “And you’re the bride, Emmie,” I say, wrapping my arms around my bestie. “Everything turned out just fine,” I tell her. “I guess we didn’t have anything to worry about.”

  Mackenzie snorts. “Not until you found a body—and then kept finding them like some unstoppable jinx.”

  “I’m not finding a body tonight. Not a dead one at least.”

  I am definitely finding Jasper’s body. He looks like a deity in that suit, and I know exactly how he likes to be worshiped.
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  “Bizzy!” Georgie calls out and I turn to see her running this way with my mother by her side and they both look equally frantic.

  “Huxley!” Mom calls out. “Oh, thank heavens. Everything has gone wrong. You have to help us.”

  “Gone wrong with what?” I ask a bit too sharply, but I won’t lie, I’ve had one eye on Ophelia’s dress all day long.

  “It’s the Passion Potion!” Georgie shouts. “People are getting rashes out of nowhere. It’s never happened before.”

  “Jasper and I have used it, and we’re fine,” I offer.

  Hux grunts my way, “Eww.”

  “Jasper needed it for stiff muscles,” I practically hiss at him. Of course, those rubdowns led to far more carnal places, but my brother is the last person I’ll be sharing that information with.

  Georgie gravels out a laugh, and I hold up a finger that says don’t even think about it.

  Huxley nods to my mother. “You’ll be fine. If a couple of people get a reaction, you simply slap a warning label on the product and you’re protected.”

  “It’s not a couple of people,” Mom says in a panic. “We’ve gotten hundreds of phone calls.”

  “Hundreds?” Jasper looks my way. “What made the bottle you gave us any different? We weren’t affected at all.”

  Georgie claps her hand over her face. “I made a change to the ingredients! I wanted to infuse it with lavender from the fields behind my cottage.”

  A hearty groan comes from me. “Georgie, that field is infested with stinging nettle. I keep excavating it in the spring, but it just grows right back.”

  “Stinging nettle!” Mom howls at Georgie. “You bottled stinging nettle and told our customers to put it in their hoo-has! Why do I ever listen to you!”

  Hux grimaces. “You know—I’d better go write up a document right away and see if we can’t do a little damage control. I’d hate to have anyone lose their shirts over this.” And it will be a miracle if they don’t lose their shirts.

  The three of them take off, and Mackenzie gives Emmie a strong hug.

  “That’s my ride,” Mackenzie tells her. “You did well, Em. I’m glad we’ve moved past the weirdness between us.” She wrinkles her nose my way. “Stay weird, Bizzy.” She trots off.

  “What a disaster.” I shudder just thinking about stinging nettle in places stinging nettle doesn’t belong.

  Jasper wraps his arms around me. “Hopefully, it clears up quickly for everyone involved. Too bad they altered the recipe. They could have made millions. The stuff was really great.”

  “Speaking of millions.” Leo wraps his arms around his bride as he looks my way. “Did you ever decide who gets the cats?”

  “I sure did,” I say. “I’d like to let them know first.” I call out for the furry felines, and soon all three are in my arms. “I’ve decided who I think you should go with,” I tell the two little cuties with glowing yellow eyes. “But only if you agree.”

  Who is it? Snuggles purrs with delight.

  Don’t keep us in suspense. You know what I’m capable of if I get too worked up, Bingo says.

  I quickly translate, and the four of us share a warm laugh. Of course, Leo heard it, too.

  “It’s Kadence,” I tell them. “She really cares about you, and she’s a good person.”

  Snuggles’ mouth falls open. And with the money she can buy the nursery.

  Bingo sits up a notch. I bet she’ll take us there during the day. We’ll run that place just like Fish and Sherlock run this one.

  “That’s exactly what I’m thinking.” I look up at Jasper, Emmie, and Leo. “I’ll call her in the morning. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled.”

  Fish lands a paw on my chest. Only if you promise to take me to that nursery at least once a month.

  “Try twice a month,” I tell her. “And if Jordy goes on his own, you can ride with him, too.”

  The cats bleat out a choir of happy mewls as they hop down and start chasing one another in the sand.

  “Speaking of tomorrow,” Jasper tips his head to Leo and Emmie, “where’s the honeymoon taking you?”

  “The beach,” Emmie says. “My parents are letting us use their beach house on Applewood Island for the week. And since it’s only a ferry ride away from Cider Cove, we might sneak back once or twice to make sure the inn is still standing.”

  “Don’t you dare.” I give a lock of her hair a quick tug. “You’ll have a blast. I can watch Cinnamon and Gatsby for you.”

  “No way,” Leo says. “They’re stuck with us right from the get-go.”

  We share another laugh, and from the corner of my eye, I spot that gray-haired granny watching us at a distance near the entry to the café.

  “Would you excuse me?” I unfurl myself from Jasper’s grasp. “I just want to check on something at the café for a moment.”

  “Ooh, me, too,” Emmie says. “You know that café is my baby.”

  The two of us make our way up the sand, and I fill Emmie in on that mysterious woman.

  “That’s funny, I don’t recognize her at all,” Emmie whispers as we get close. “But knowing my mother, she could be my aunt twice removed. My family is huge.”

  “Hello,” I say as we step into her midst. Her lavender dress glows in the night, and she has on a brooch in the shape of a pink rose pinned to the right side of her chest. It’s sparkling like mad, as are her eyes. “I’m Bizzy,” I say with a smile. “And you must know Emmie.”

  She lowers her chin a notch. “Why, I don’t know either of you. But I am very familiar with that dress you have on, young lady,” she says as she nods to Emmie. “That was once my own gown to be worn on my wedding day.”

  Both Emmie and I gasp in unison.

  “You must be Ophelia,” I say, suddenly rapt at attention to whatever might come from her mouth next.

  “That’s exactly who I am. Ophelia Brinkley.”

  “I thought your name was Ophelia Inkwell?” Emmie asks as her fingers clutch at the pendant dangling from her necklace.

  “It was before I married the love of my life.” Ophelia’s lips tug to the side. “I suppose you’d like an explanation. I was young, in love. And my betrothed and I were about to be married right here at the cove, on the bluff, in the very same spot where you were hitched this afternoon.” She winks at Emmie. “I didn’t have much, but I found a beautiful beaded wedding gown in a thrift shop and fell in love with it. The shop owner begged me not to purchase it. She said it was rumored to be haunted. She said that every woman who ever tried to wear it had a string of horrible and unexplainable events occur. But my stubborn heart was set on that dress, and I took it home with me.”

  “Then what happened?” I ask.

  The woman sighs. “It turns out, the man I was set to marry had an eye and an appetite for other women. He slept with one of my bridesmaids. We never made it down the aisle. And every time I attempted to burn, shred, or lose the dress, something happened to put an end to the endeavor. My sister suggested the dress was cursed, so I wrote up the note and donated the thing to Bea’s thrift store all those years ago. I did finally find the love of my life, and we married in a beautiful ceremony, with a beautiful dress. And each time I visited Bea, I’d visit with my dress, too. We thought it was funny that no one would even try the dress on, let alone think about purchasing it. So when I saw the dress was sold, I was shocked.”

  I nod her way. “Last night at the auction, that’s where we met.”

  “That was it.” She snaps her fingers. “And when you told me about the wedding, I just had to come and see this for myself. I guess the dress wasn’t cursed after all, now was it?”

  “I guess not.” Emmie gives a lighthearted laugh. “And thankfully so.”

  “What happened to your old fiancé?” I ask.

  “He ran off with my bridesmaid, got married, and their car plunged off a bridge on the way to their honeymoon. It was a tragedy. It made me wonder about the dress once again. Anyway, I’m happy, and you’re goi
ng to be happy, too. I’ve got to run off. It’s past my bedtime.” She takes up Emmie’s hands. “Congratulations, dear. May you have a long and blessed union.” She takes off into the café, and a shiver runs through me.

  Emmie’s eyes widen my way. “Her ex-fiancé’s car plunged off a bridge on the way to his honeymoon? Bizzy, I need to cross a bridge to get to my honeymoon, too.”

  “It’s just a coincidence,” I say, threading my arm through hers as we make our way back down to the sand where Jasper and Leo are playing fetch with the dogs. “You’re going to be fine. Ophelia got married, and she lived happily ever after. You’re next. Besides, it’s not like you’re leaving in the dead of night. You’ll have plenty of visibility to avoid just about anything.” I hope.

  Sherlock runs up, barking and jumping with Cinnamon and Gatsby by his side.

  Guess what, Bizzy? Leo says he’s going to surprise Emmie and leave for their honeymoon tonight.

  That’s right! Cinnamon chirps. We’re going to drive to Applewood Island, right over the bridge.

  Gatsby lets out a husky bark as his fur shimmers under the moonlight. And I’m going to keep my head out the window the entire time, looking at the water.

  Good grief. I shoot Emmie a quick look. Here’s hoping none of them get a close-up of that water a second sooner than necessary.

  Emmie and Leo say goodnight, and we share one long group hug as they take off with Cinnamon and Gatsby.

  “I guess the party is coming to an end.” I sigh as Jasper wraps his arms around me and we slow dance right here in the sand just far enough from the reception to make this whole night feel like a dream.

  “Are you kidding?” He waggles his brows. “The party is just beginning. While Leo and Emmie said their wedding vows, I renewed mine to you at the same moment.”

  “That’s funny.” I bite down on my lower lip. “I did the exact same thing.”

  “I guess, technically, that makes this our wedding night, too. And you know what that means?”