All You Desire

by Kirsten Miller

  “Oh hell, here we go,” Beau muttered.

  “Listen, Beau. You need to know that I was the one who got you and Naddo killed back in Florence. I didn’t keep your secret. I told Adam you were gay. I may have told other people too. I don’t know who killed you, but I do know it was my fault.”

  “No, it wasn’t,” Beau said. “It was that little bitch whose mother worked in our house.”

  “What?”

  “That night in the vault, I had a nightmare. At least that’s what I thought until I mentioned it to Owen, and he told me it must have been a memory. In the dream Naddo and I were in a stable, getting ready to leave town when a bunch of men showed up. They caught us kissing, and, well, things got ugly from there. But I remember seeing that little blonde-haired demon who was always snooping around our house. She was the one who’d led them to us.”

  “Oh my God, it was Phoebe! She tricked me into betraying Adam back then too!” Suddenly Haven could see everything clearly. “I’ve been wondering how Phoebe knew exactly what vision she wanted me to have. The only reason she was able to take me back to just the right moment was because she was there. Phoebe must have been the one who suggested Beatrice go to Adam’s house the day her parents were fleeing the city. She arranged for Beatrice to get there just as the bodies were being delivered!”

  “That blonde kid was Phoebe? Jesus. She gets around, doesn’t she? So you see, you’ve been going around feeling guilty for nothing.”

  No. Not for nothing, Haven thought.

  “Haven?” It was Alex Harbridge.

  Beau glanced over at the young woman who’d just joined them and did a double take. “Holy shit,” he mumbled under his breath.

  “Alex,” Haven said, “this is my friend Beau. He’s your biggest fan.”

  “Beau Decker?” Alex grinned. “The Beau Decker? The one Owen Bell won’t shut up about?” She gave Beau a once-over. “Well, now I know why. I’d let a big, juicy Southern boy like you drag me out of the deepest, darkest closet on earth.”

  Beau looked over at Haven. “Did Alex Harbridge just call me a big, juicy Southern boy? This is the single greatest day of my life.”

  “It’s about to get even better,” Haven said. “Alex, this is the person who designed the dress you wore to the Oscars.”

  “What?” Beau yelped.

  Haven rolled her eyes. “Were you and Owen so busy that you didn’t bother to turn on the TV? Alex asked me to make her a dress. I used your design. All I did was sew it together.”

  “The slinky green one?” Beau asked. “The one I made for Barbie? Alex Harbridge wore that to the Oscars?”

  “Yep,” Haven confirmed. “People said it was the best gown of the whole evening.”

  “You know, that dress might be the only thing that gets me past this whole cupcake scandal,” Alex said. “The tabloids have been running the pictures side by side. The ‘before’ photo may be horrible, but the ‘after’ couldn’t be better.”

  “What’s this about a cupcake scandal?” Beau asked.

  “Damn, Beau, you’ve even stopped following celebrity gossip? What exactly has Owen Bell done to you?”

  Alex laughed. “Well, I was going to ask Haven, but since you’re the real genius here, you want to make me a few more dresses?”

  Beau was speechless.

  Haven poked him in the side. “Say yes, you doofus.”

  “What about school?” Beau asked.

  “Are you in such a hurry to go back? Last I heard you were failing out.”

  “Aw, Jesus. You heard about that?” Beau groaned.

  EPILOGUE

  Haven rolled over and kissed the boy sleeping beside her. Their farewell party had lasted late into the night, and Frances Whitman’s guests were only now beginning to rise. Haven had heard Leah’s door creak and soft footsteps padding down the hall. She slid out from between the blankets, careful not to wake Iain, and followed Leah into the kitchen.

  She found Frances dressed in flannel pajamas pouring coffee for the girl, who was wearing a fancy silk and lace nightie.

  “Oooh. Sexy. Where’d you get that?” Haven laughed.

  “It was a present from one of my husbands,” Frances explained. “To another woman. He had the store send it here by accident. I’ve been keeping it as a souvenir, but I think I’ll let Leah take it home with her.”

  “When’s your flight?” Haven asked Leah.

  “Noon,” Leah answered. “When’s yours again?”

  “Not till nine this evening.”

  “I can’t believe everyone’s leaving me,” Frances moaned.

  “Beau and Owen are staying in New York,” Haven said.

  “But they’re both going to be so busy,” Frances said. “I’ll have to commission a dress next time I want to see Beau.”

  “Well, you’re always welcome to come and visit Iain and me in Rome.”

  “Or stop by Duke,” Leah said. “You know, it’d probably do you a world of good to get out of this apartment and go a few places.”

  “Why? Do you know something?” Frances demanded. “Have you seen a big, strapping North Carolina man in my future?”

  “I don’t know if he’s from North Carolina,” Leah said, chomping on a pastry. “But he ain’t the cable guy, and that’s the only man you’re going to meet sitting here.”

  “What?” Frances squealed. “Are you teasing me? Is there really a man somewhere waiting for me?”

  “Maybe, maybe not,” said Leah.

  “Oh, come on!” Frances pleaded. “Can’t you be more specific? You told that woman in Harlem she’d make a fortune off that neon sign. And she didn’t even give you a gorgeous silk nightie!”

  “Ramona?” Leah asked. “That was just a onetime deal. Didn’t have anything to do with seeing the future. I just figured an old sign that said SIN WILL FIND YOU OUT might be worth a buck or two. And to think they were going to tear it down along with the rest of the block.”

  “Haven!” Frances begged. “Make her tell me!”

  “You guys are going to have to settle this on your own,” Haven said. “I have to go get dressed. There’s an errand I gotta run this morning. Leah, give me a hug. I’ll see you when school’s out.”

  The two girls embraced.

  “Be careful today,” Leah whispered in Haven’s ear.

  “Don’t worry,” Haven told her.

  IAIN WOKE AS Haven was wriggling into her jeans.

  “Still going?” he asked.

  “Yep,” Haven told him.

  “Wear your new snow boots.”

  “Planning to.”

  “And give me a kiss.”

  Haven crawled across the bed toward the beautiful boy with a sheet wrapped around his waist. She didn’t need Leah’s gift to know that her future belonged to him. At least for one lifetime, she had all she desired.

  THE GUARD AT Green-Wood Cemetery recognized Haven and came out of the booth tucked inside the gatehouse.

  “You know where you’re going this time?” he asked.

  “I do,” Haven said.

  “The paths are clear today,” he said. “You shouldn’t get lost again. But if you aren’t back in an hour or so, I’m gonna come looking for you. Deal?”

  “Deal,” Haven agreed. “I appreciate it.”

  The snow was thawing in the bright sunlight. Her body grew warm as she walked, and Haven stopped to take off her coat. There was still a chill, but the air was beginning to smell like spring. When she reached the little lake, she walked along its shore. The trees that circled the water were filled with birds—cardinals and blue jays and countless tiny feathered creatures that Haven couldn’t identify. She paused to listen to them sing before she continued toward her destination.

  Haven had come to say goodbye to Adam. She’d spent a whole week hashing over the decision. It made no sense to anyone, but it felt right to Haven. If Adam had sacrificed his freedom to save her, it was the very least she could do.

  The entrance to the mausoleum gleamed
in the sunlight. The two hooded figures on either side of the door still hid their faces in the shadows. Haven peeked under the woman’s hood and saw her own face looking back at her. A shiver shook her body, but the sun on her back soothed her nerves. She took out the golden key that Adam had told her to give to the snake goddess. It would be FedExed to Duke as soon as Haven returned from the cemetery. The door was heavy. It took all her strength to push it open.

  “Adam?” she called into the darkness.

  There wasn’t an answer. The tomb was empty.