Right. He sighed. Why did he think she’d let him help her?
A few minutes later, Kelsey returned with a container of wipes and two packages of diapers. “Did you bring that portable crib?”
He nodded. “I texted your mom. She borrowed a high chair and still has plenty of toys.”
“What about the car seat? Are you sure it’s installed properly?”
“I’m sure.” He kept his voice even. “Feel free to double-check if you want.”
“It’s just that she doesn’t ride in your car as often and you’re not used to—”
“If you’re concerned about my ability to drive, you are more than welcome to find your own ride to Wyoming. Adeline’s coming with me, and I’m leaving in two minutes. You decide.” He opened the door and stepped onto the porch. He’d had enough of her questions. And her doubt.
She trailed after him. “I didn’t say you weren’t a safe driver.”
“You didn’t have to.” He kept walking. “Your expression said it all for you.”
So much for the progress. After she’d visited and brought him lunch, he’d hoped their contentious conversations were a thing of the past. Now they had to spend the next several hours in a confined space, trying to keep a baby content.
He wasn’t changing his mind, though. Not after he’d worked so hard to convince Kelsey they could make this trip together.
* * *
This would be the longest road trip of her entire life.
Kelsey stopped in front of the silver midsize SUV parked outside. “Whose car is this?”
“My mom’s.” He opened the back door on the driver’s side and carefully shifted Adeline to his other arm.
“What’s wrong with your truck?”
“Nothing.” He frowned over the roof of the vehicle. “You and Adeline will be more comfortable in this, that’s all.”
Oh. She opened the passenger door and dropped her purse inside, then circled around the back of the car to help Landon get Adeline buckled in her car seat.
He hesitated, Adeline squirming in his arms. His frigid gaze challenged Kelsey. “I’ve got this. You don’t have to supervise.”
“I’m not supervising.”
His brows lifted.
Okay, maybe a little. She turned and walked away, pausing to survey the gear he’d loaded into the back of the vehicle. Oh, good. He had remembered the portable crib. And he’d brought extra diapers. How thoughtful. Maybe this wasn’t going to be such a disaster after all.
“You know I’ve done this before, right?” Frustration emanated from Landon like steam from a hot pizza. “I drove Adeline back from Wyoming without any help.”
“Good.” She slammed the hatch. “Then today should be a breeze.”
Oh brother. This was not going well. She climbed in the front passenger seat, set her purse at her feet, then buckled her safety belt.
When Landon slid behind the wheel, she refused to look at him. So maybe she’d asked a few too many questions. That was her job, though. To make sure Adeline had everything she needed. Why did he get annoyed with her for being a good mother?
Adeline fussed, already expressing her frustration with being contained. Kelsey twisted to check on her, but the car seat was still rear-facing, and all Kelsey could see was her chubby little leg and her bare foot kicking the upholstered cushion. Landon gripped the steering wheel with both hands and stared straight ahead.
“Are you going to be able to handle this?” His voice was low and laced with impatience.
“Handle what?” She faced forward and heaved a sigh.
“Adeline crying for the next six to eight hours.”
No. Kelsey bit back a groan and tightened her fists in her lap. She looked out her window so he couldn’t see the panic probably etched all over her face. “She’ll settle down.”
Please, Lord, help her stop crying. Such a desperate prayer. She felt silly for even thinking it. Wasn’t she supposed to be able to calm her own baby down? Allowing Landon to see her weakness only made her fight harder to conceal her worries. “Just go. It’ll be fine.”
Landon muttered something under his breath then turned the key in the ignition.
“Excuse me?”
“I said, ‘Whatever you say.’”
“Good.” Kelsey nodded, affirming his answer. At least his attitude had slightly improved.
Landon turned on the radio and scrolled to a classic rock station. Kelsey opened her mouth to object, then changed her mind. She’d tolerate his music preferences for now. There had to be at least some compromises, or they’d fight the whole way. She’d save her objections for more important issues, like his driving.
She sneaked a peek at him from the corner of her eye. Knowing Landon, he probably liked to drive well over the speed limit. The man used to love living life on the edge.
Forcing herself to pull in a deep breath, she stared out the window and mentally counted her blessings. Although she and Landon had gotten off to a rough start, at least she didn’t have to make this drive alone. The weather was beautiful, and a cloudless blue sky promised a storm-free ride west.
Adeline’s fussing soon escalated into screaming, and Kelsey’s positive attitude crashed and burned. They’d barely made it to the interstate before Adeline’s fit made Kelsey want to beg Landon to pull over and let her out of the car. But if they stopped every time she cried, they’d never get to Wyoming. Kelsey had promised her mom she’d be there in plenty of time to help get Maggie’s family situated. She desperately wanted to keep that promise.
“Stop the car.”
“What?” Landon tapped the brake. “Here?”
“Yes, here. We have to do something about her crying.”
“Kelsey—”
“I’m serious, Landon. I can’t stand to listen to her cry like that.”
“All right, hold on.” He slowed down, clicked on his blinker, then took the next exit ramp.
As soon as he pulled over in the gas station parking lot, Kelsey hopped out of the car then climbed in the back seat beside Adeline. Her little face was red, and tears dampened her cheeks.
“Oh, you poor thing.” Kelsey smoothed the damp hair off Adeline’s forehead. “You are really warm. We’ve got to get you out of here.”
She quickly unbuckled Adeline, then pulled her onto her lap.
Landon shifted in the driver’s seat and glanced at her. “Everything okay?”
“I don’t know.” Panic welled in her chest. “Why won’t she stop crying?”
“Did you try her pacifier?”
Kelsey fished the pacifier from inside the car seat and offered it to Adeline, but she batted it away.
“Nope.” Kelsey frowned. “Any other suggestions?”
“Is she hungry?”
“I just fed her breakfast.”
“How about her diaper?”
“I changed her before we left.” Kelsey couldn’t keep the exasperation from her voice, especially since Adeline cried louder.
Landon scrubbed his palm across his face. “You asked me for suggestions.”
“I know, but you’re not helping.”
She’d have to figure this out on her own. Kelsey lifted Adeline up and cradled her against her shoulder, but Adeline twisted away and tried to squirm out of her grasp. Was she reaching for Landon? Please, no.
“You can’t ride up front,” Kelsey said. “You have to go back in your car seat.”
“She’s never going to go for that, especially since you took her out.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were the expert on all things baby. Would you like to ride back here?”
“Sure.” Landon shrugged one of his impossibly muscular shoulders. “If that’s what it takes.”
Kelsey pinched her lips together. Really?
She was supposed to be the
one who nurtured and comforted Adeline, not him. The ugly feeling slithering through her abdomen made her feel worse. Great. Now her own baby’s preferences made her jealous.
Get a grip, girl.
While it about killed her to admit Adeline preferred Landon, she couldn’t stand listening to her cry, either.
“Fine. I’ll drive.” She climbed out of the car with Adeline in her arms and waited for Landon to trade places with her. Oh, she wanted to trust him. She really did. The hurtful words she’d spewed and all the times she’d dismissed his kindness weren’t okay. She’d meant every word of her apology. Her confession about not being as fearless as him had also been genuine. Despite their progress in their relationship, the lingering doubts still clung to her, leeching her hope. He might be the fun dad who made road trips entertaining, but she worried that he wouldn’t stick around for the long haul when life got hard.
And life was about to get hard, especially if she was thousands of miles away and he stayed here alone with their daughter.
Chapter Ten
The midmorning sunlight streamed through the grove of aspen trees flanking the cemetery. He’d rather take a hoof to the sternum from the world’s angriest Brahma than say his final goodbye to Wade and Maggie.
This was awful.
He swallowed against the ache in his throat. Friends and family lingered, even though the private service had finished. He needed to leave before he completely lost it. Reaching for Adeline’s stroller, he leaned down and peeked inside. She’d fallen asleep with her thumb tucked in her mouth. Brown hair swooped across her smooth forehead, and long lashes feathered her cheek. Man, she’d been a trouper today. Not even a single whimper or whine throughout the whole event.
Thank You, Lord.
He straightened and glanced around.
Kelsey’s fingers sliding into the crook of his elbow surprised him in the best possible way. She rested her head against his shoulder. Warmth spread through his chest. He leaned closer and pressed a tender kiss to the top of Kelsey’s head. Her shoulders shook as she cried. Poor thing. Wade had meant the world to her. Maggie, too.
He let go of the stroller and pulled Kelsey into his arms. She buried her face in his white button-down shirt, wrapped her arms around his waist and sobbed.
Landon smoothed his hand over her long hair and held her close. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “I’m here.”
Kelsey’s entire body trembled. He boldly tucked her head under his chin. The animosity of yesterday’s road trip had melted away. Maybe their shared grief would unite them. He’d prayed for another opportunity to show her how much he cared about her. How much he longed to put aside his past mistakes and start over. He completely understood her comments about being vulnerable and struggling to trust. It scared him to risk being vulnerable, too, but time was not on his side. Maybe grieving the loss of Wade and Maggie would be the final blow to that well-constructed wall she kept trying to build between them.
Her tears drew concerned glances from her mother standing nearby with her husband and Maggie’s family.
She’s okay, he silently mouthed, desperately wanting to be the hero. Although stepping into that role was a dangerous choice. If he and Kelsey leaned on each other, they’d likely forge a stronger relationship, but she still had to honor her commitment to the navy. He couldn’t ignore reality forever. She had to go back to Hawaii soon, and they’d be back to arguing over what was best for Adeline.
He wouldn’t let that stop him from comforting her. No one expected her to be strong all the time. He’d hold her and carry her through, no matter what happened between them, because that was the right thing to do.
“I’m going to miss them so much.” Kelsey pulled away and swiped at her tears with the back of her hand. “Wade’s the only sibling I’ve ever had, and Maggie was like a sister to me.”
“I know.” Landon fished a tissue from his pocket and handed it to her. “He was my best friend. There’s nobody else like Wade. Or Maggie.”
Kelsey took the tissue and dabbed at the corners of her eyes. Her splotchy cheeks and red-rimmed eyes made his chest ache. “I’m here for you, Kelsey.” He reached up and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Whatever you need.”
She offered a wobbly smile. “Thank you.”
“We should probably go soon. If there’s anyone you’d like to speak to, I’ll stay with Adeline.”
“I’d like to say hello to Maggie’s grandparents.” Kelsey glanced up at him. Her coffee-colored eyes searched his face. “You don’t mind?”
“Not at all. I’ll wait right here.”
She turned and worked her way across the green lawn toward an elderly couple holding hands, their expressions somber. Although he hated that they’d lost Wade and Maggie far too soon, he wouldn’t trade this fragile peace he and Kelsey had established.
Adeline stirred, and Landon peeked inside the stroller. Thankfully, she stayed asleep. When he straightened, four of his and Wade’s friends from the bull riding circuit walked toward him. They’d graciously served as pallbearers. Emotion tightened Landon’s throat again, and he clenched his jaw to keep from falling apart.
“Thanks for being here.” Landon choked out the words as he shook Morgan’s hand. “I appreciate it.”
Morgan clapped him on his shoulder, then looked away. He struggled to maintain his composure, too.
Holt was next, his black cowboy hat shielding his blue eyes. “Sorry for your loss. Wade was one of the best.”
“He sure was. Thanks for coming, Holt.”
Clay and Boone came next, their tanned faces pinched in agony as they shook Landon’s hand and offered their condolences again. Then they stood in a circle, stomping at the ground with their boots while an uncomfortable silence descended.
Boone was the first to break the tension with a mischievous gleam in his dark eyes and a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. “If you don’t mind my asking, what’s with the baby and the pretty girl crying on your shoulder?”
“Yeah, you’ve been holding out on us,” Clay added. “Since when did you become a family man?”
Ouch. “Since I found out I was a dad.”
“Wow, congratulations.”
“No way,” Boone said, a broad smile brightening his features. “That’s great news.”
“What’s her name?” Holt peered inside the stroller.
“Adeline.” Landon couldn’t stop a proud smile. “And she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Normally such a bold statement in front of his friends would have earned him a fair amount of teasing. His friends would stop at nothing to give him a hard time for sounding so...love struck. This time, he didn’t care. He was thankful for Adeline and the gift of being her father, even though he still had so much to learn.
“And the pretty lady?” Morgan nodded toward Kelsey. “Isn’t she Wade’s stepsister?”
Landon nodded. “We met at Wade and Maggie’s wedding.”
“Ah, yes. I remember. She was one of the bridesmaids. You two fell faster than Boone here getting bucked off a bull,” Clay teased.
“Hilarious,” Boone glowered. “Boy, you better not mess this up. Wade would tan your hide if he knew.”
The laughter immediately faded. Boone’s words stung, but Landon refused to let the comment get to him. He was done being angry about Wade keeping Kelsey’s secrets, too.
“Wade knew about Kelsey and me. Adeline, too. That’s why I’m not going to mess anything up.”
He meant what he said. Although they had their differences and he’d definitely made more than his fair share of mistakes, from here on out he was going to do everything in his power to show Kelsey he could be the dad—and hopefully the husband—she needed and wanted.
* * *
Maybe she missed him.
There. She’d admitted the truth.
Except she couldn’t have picked a worse time to conclude this, because Landon wasn’t scheduled to spend any time with Adeline until tomorrow.
Stupid schedule. That had been one of her worst ideas ever, insisting that they stick to a regimented plan for coparenting. Besides, she didn’t want to see Landon to work out a parenting plan or a visitation schedule or talk about Adeline’s future. She wanted to see Landon because she couldn’t stop thinking about him and it was about to drive her bananas.
She flopped on the couch while Adeline sat on the living room floor, totally enthralled with the new toys they’d acquired in Wyoming. Maggie’s grandparents, bless their hearts, had given her a wrapped present after the memorial service. Now the blue plastic piano was the only thing Adeline wanted to play with. Even though the repetitive sounds were jumping on Kelsey’s last nerve, at least the thing kept Adeline occupied and she didn’t have to chase her around the house, keeping her out of trouble.
Kelsey flung her arm over her eyes to block out the images of Landon that constantly invaded. Ever since he’d tenderly cared for her during Wade and Maggie’s memorial service, held her while she cried, then looked after Adeline so she had time to help her mother care for her stepdad, her resistance toward him had ebbed. Then he’d let her sleep all the way back from Wyoming while he handled all the driving.
A man that selfless was hard to resist.
Except she was due back in Hawaii in less than a month. Leaving without him and Adeline made her want to weep. What a mess.
Someone knocked on her door, pulling her back to reality. She stood and crossed to the living room window. An unfamiliar car sat in the driveway. Not Landon. Bummer.
Skye and Laramie stood side by side on the porch. Kelsey opened the door. “Hey. What’s up?”
“We’re here to babysit so you can go to the Founder’s Day festival.” Skye grinned triumphantly. “Landon will be here in an hour to pick you up.”
“I thought that was canceled.” Kelsey leaned against the door frame and tried to ignore the way her pulse stuttered at the news that Landon was on his way.
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