The Bull Rider's Fresh Start

by Heidi McCahan

  Well, let them talk. She’d never planned to stay here long enough to care what anyone thought of her.

  That’s a lie. You do care, and you’d settle down here in a second if you could.

  No. She tried to shake off the thoughts zinging through her head. Landon caught up, stepped in front of her and walked backward. She tried to go around him, but he shifted to his left, intentionally blocking her path.

  “Talk to me.” Concern etched his features. “What’s wrong? What did I do?”

  Sadness balled in her throat. Oh brother. Really? Now her emotions were going to betray her, too?

  “Take me home.” She forced the words out, then darted around him. “Please.”

  “Okay.” He turned and faced forward, matching his steps to hers. Those amazing hazel eyes stayed riveted on the side of her face. Oh, why did he have to be so attentive?

  Finally, they arrived at his truck. Instead of opening the passenger door, he leaned against it, blocking her from getting in.

  “Move.”

  “Not until you explain why you’re upset.”

  She pushed out a long breath. “Don’t you get it? We’re all wrong for each other.”

  “That kiss tells a much different story, sweetheart.”

  “The ending’s still the same.” Her words came out rough. Jagged. “You want to stay here and put down roots and grow wheat. I owe the navy another year, and then I’m going to nursing school.”

  “Ambitious plans.” A muscle in his jaw flexed. “Where do Adeline and I fit in that bright future of yours?”

  She swallowed hard. “We’ll always have Adeline, but you and I don’t have a future together.”

  He winced, then those gold-flecked eyes morphed into icy orbs. Laughter rang out somewhere behind them, and the band switched to a traditional song featuring a banjo solo.

  Say something. She stared at him, willing him to break the tense silence.

  “Well.” He pushed away from the truck and straightened, his expression unreadable. “I guess you’ve got this all figured out then.”

  Wait. What? No argument. No cajoling. No snarky comeback. He was going to agree with her and give up without a fight?

  “Since there’s nothing left to say, I’ll take you home.” He stepped aside and pulled open her door.

  “Everything okay?” Drew Tomlinson strode toward them, holding hands with the woman he’d been dancing with.

  “Yes,” Landon growled. “We were just leaving.”

  “No,” Kelsey protested at the same time.

  Drew’s gaze toggled between them. “Why don’t I give you a lift, Kelsey? Eden drove separately.”

  “You don’t need to do that.” Landon stood holding the passenger door open. “We’re civilized adults, capable of riding in the same truck together for ten minutes.”

  Ha. Kelsey tipped her chin up. “I’m riding with Drew.”

  “Fine.” Landon pushed the door closed. “Oh, by the way, Kelsey, I’m not giving up on Adeline. I’ll be over at nine tomorrow morning to see her. Then we’re making an appointment with an attorney and establishing a custody agreement. I’m not letting you take her to Hawaii. I’ll file for primary parental responsibility if I have to.”

  “Fine.”

  She turned and followed Drew toward his truck. It wasn’t fine. Not at all. But she climbed in and slammed the door, then waited while he walked Eden to her own car parked nearby.

  Tears threatened to fall, and she dug her fingernails into her palms. Her lips still tingled from Landon’s kiss, and the faint aroma of his cologne lingered on her clothes.

  Primary parental responsibility. Would he really try to take Adeline from her?

  * * *

  Landon stood at the fence separating their field from their neighbor’s, sipping coffee from his insulated mug and watching as Cal plowed the soil. The loamy scent of tilled earth filled his nostrils. Swallows chirped and soared overhead, while the morning sun streamed across the acres of land his family had tended for three generations. Harvesting and planting, testing the soil, assessing the seed, double-checking the nitrogen level in their fertilizer. He’d spend his days checking off all the tasks on their lengthy to-do list as they prepared to plant more wheat and try not to think about how nicely Kelsey had fit in his arms as he’d twirled her around the dance floor. Or how much his heart hurt when she looked him in the eye and insisted they had no future together.

  The world kept turning, seasons changed, and somehow he had to figure out how to keep moving forward. Keep living, keep being productive, even after all his plans had derailed. He’d started over before, and he could do it again. Sighing, he checked the time on his phone. He and Cal had met early so they could get the plowing finished before the heat of the day set in. Although fall was allegedly just a few weeks away, the summer heat was still hanging on for dear life. While he had no desire to speak to Kelsey after what she’d said to him last night and then refused to ride with him, he wasn’t reneging on his scheduled visit with Adeline.

  “You guys got an early start.” His father’s voice stirred him from his thoughts. Landon turned and forced a carefree smile. Dad joined him at the fence carrying an almost identical insulated mug.

  “Cal wanted to get going on the plowing. I just came by to make sure he had everything under control.”

  His father studied him. “Is plowing the only thing on your mind?”

  Landon dipped his head and carved out a notch in the dirt at his feet with his boot. “I’m going to have to hire an attorney. I’ll file for primary parental responsibility if that’s what it takes to keep Adeline in Colorado.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that, son,” Dad said. “A tough situation for everyone involved.”

  “I know I still owe you and Mom more money, and I’m trying to provide for Adeline, too.” He swallowed hard. “If I have to hire an attorney, I’ll need to adjust my payments.”

  Man, he hated having this conversation with his dad. Hated that he still had a debt to pay off. He forced himself to look his father in his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  Dad’s green eyes filled with sympathy, and he clapped Landon on the shoulder. “You don’t need to be sorry. You’ve carried a mountain of guilt and regret these last few years, I’m sure. We all make mistakes. Adeline has been a huge blessing in your life.”

  Landon nodded and looked away. He loved that little girl so much it hurt.

  “Even though you and Kelsey have some differences to work out, as best as your mother and I can tell, you’re both wonderful parents. Whatever we can do to support you, we’re here, and we trust that you’ll pay us back when you can.”

  Wow. He hadn’t expected that. Not that his father had ever been harsh or punitive, but that gracious response made another wave of emotion crest inside him. He found his voice. “Thanks, Dad.”

  Cal turned the tractor around at the edge of the field and drove toward them. The hum of the engine got louder as he drove closer. Landon and his father both waved to the young guy through the windows on the side of the tractor’s cab. As Cal continued across the field, Landon sensed his father’s curious gaze.

  “Can I ask you something?” Dad cradled his coffee mug in both hands.

  Landon shrugged. “Sure.”

  “Have you been praying about what to do with Kelsey and Adeline and how to navigate life as a single father?”

  “I’ve never prayed harder. And I’ve tried to do everything right, too. Gage told me I should keep my promises and do everything I can to show Kelsey that she can trust me, but—”

  “But she’s still afraid.”

  “Yep.” Landon raked his fingers through his hair. “When she’s afraid she runs, because that’s what her mom did. Kelsey’s dad was an addict who eventually overdosed, and she had a pretty lousy childhood.”

  “That’s really
sad.”

  “She’s afraid Adeline’s going to have the same tough childhood if she grows up with me.”

  His dad frowned. “But you have a solid family and good friends, a church community and so many people who love you and who will love Adeline, too. It’s a shame Kelsey can’t see that.”

  “That’s why I need an attorney.” Landon pulled out his phone and checked the time. “I’ve got to go. I said I’d be by to hang out with Adeline before her morning nap.”

  “You’re doing the right thing.” Dad smiled sadly. “Being an attentive father is hard work, but it’s so rewarding. Adeline needs you to keep showing up for her.”

  “I know, I will.”

  “Your mother and I will keep praying.”

  “Thanks.” Landon turned and walked along the fence until he got to his truck parked on the side of a dirt road.

  He slid behind the wheel then drove toward Laramie’s house. A ball of dread sat low in his stomach. While he was always happy to see Adeline, he wasn’t ready to speak to Kelsey. Her words had wrecked him. Obliterated his hopes for the future. He’d done everything he could to win her heart, and still he’d failed.

  Just like she’d said he would.

  * * *

  Another lap and another desperate attempt to outrun her anxious thoughts.

  Still they hounded her. Taunted. Spurred her to run even faster.

  Kelsey’s leg muscles burned and her chest ached, but she forced herself to keep going. Sweat coated her skin, and her long braid thumped between her shoulder blades. She squinted into the bright sunlight, wishing for at least the third time that she hadn’t forgotten her sunglasses back at the house.

  She wasn’t about to return unless she had to. Landon had stopped by at nine to see Adeline and spend the morning with her, so Kelsey wasn’t due back at the house until noon.

  The track behind the high school was empty, the perfect setup for pushing her body to the limit. She’d run until her legs turned into Jell-O. Until she didn’t have a drop of energy left to devote to worrying about Landon.

  Primary parental responsibility. Three words that terrified her. She’d looked it up online after Drew dropped her off last night. They meant exactly what she’d feared. Landon would petition the court or a social worker or somebody in a position of power to keep Adeline here in Colorado while she went back to Hawaii. On paper it made perfect sense. The quick fix to her caregiving dilemma. No doubt her commanding officer would sign off immediately.

  Child safe and cared for by a biological parent? Check.

  Trustworthy grandparents and extended family close by for backup? Yes and yes.

  Enlisted navy diver ready and able for duty? Check.

  But a satisfactory care plan and a legal agreement did nothing to ease her worries. Landon couldn’t possibly be responsible for a baby who’d soon become a busy toddler.

  Her running shoes pounded the rubbery surface, and her knees ached as she rounded the turn on the track’s inside lane. Her mind pinged back and forth between memories of that kiss and how much she’d enjoyed the safety and security of Landon’s arms holding her, and Adeline sitting alone on the living room floor, crying. The first image teased her with some mirage of happily-ever-after. A complete family, including a man who wouldn’t leave her or her daughter.

  Nonsense. Of course he’d leave. Or at the very least, mess up and let her down. To imagine anything different was to conjure the stuff of fairy tales and picture books. She refused to allow such silly notions to cloud her thinking. Broken promises, lonely weekends, humiliating school functions where she’d always cried, convinced she was the only girl there without a dad.

  That was the reality she’d endured.

  She pumped her arms, demanding that her body go faster, run harder, striving desperately to shove those terrible thoughts out of her mind. She wanted to see the good in Landon. To believe that all his interactions with Adeline pointed toward a wonderful, loving relationship. More than anything, she wanted to put her fears to rest and trust that he’d always show up. For her and for Adeline.

  Stubborn, stubborn girl. What if you’re wrong about him?

  The thought blindsided her, promptly shortening her stride. She slowed from sprinting to a jog, blood pounding in her ears. She wasn’t wrong. Was she? What some might call stubborn, she’d consider savvy. Street smart. A wounded little girl who’d become a proactive single mother. Sure, she’d read a few verses in her Bible about how she wasn’t supposed to be afraid. She’d even cracked open the journal thing Skye had given her and read a section about how she was supposed to tell the Lord all her fears. She’d tried praying about finding a guardian for Adeline. Nothing had happened.

  What did a lack of clarity even mean? Was she supposed to keep waiting and pray harder? Except part of her couldn’t outrun the notion that maybe Landon was the right person to care for Adeline. The more time that passed, the more that thought latched on, and she couldn’t shake it loose. He’d sneaked past her defenses. His smile, thoughtful gestures and tender care of Adeline had catapulted him across the moat she’d built around her heart. He’d almost won her over.

  Almost.

  Except loving him was too hard. Too frightening. She couldn’t let him have sole responsibility for Adeline—or stake a claim on her heart.

  Chapter Twelve

  The text alert pulled Landon from a deep sleep. Stop. Make it stop.

  He pushed off the blankets, groaning as he fumbled in the darkness for his phone. Scrubbing the sleep from his eyes, he clutched the device and squinted at the screen.

  A fire call at the silos.

  Please, God. No. A fire at the silos was one of their worst fears. Adrenaline pushed him out of bed, and he stood and hurried to his closet. His mind raced with ominous thoughts as he pulled on a T-shirt, jeans, a plaid button-down and socks. After a productive harvest, the silos were packed with grain. A fire would decimate not only the structure but the farmers’ profits, too.

  Fear roiled in his gut, propelling him down the hall. He stopped by the front door, shoved his feet into his boots, then grabbed his wallet and keys and jogged toward his truck. He’d forgotten his phone on his nightstand, but there wasn’t time to turn back. Every second was crucial.

  He made sure his gear was in the truck, then started the engine and backed out of his driveway. His headlights shone in the darkness when he turned onto the road, reflecting in the eyes of a deer darting across his path. He tapped the brakes. The animal leaped the fence then vanished into his neighbor’s field.

  His heart hammered as he sped up, racing down the road. The clock on the stereo read 4:17, and a thumbnail of a moon hung in the night sky.

  Landon made it to the co-op in record time. An ominous orange glow crowned the silos as flames licked the edges of the four containers.

  He parked and hopped out, then pulled on his fireproof pants, jacket, gloves and helmet.

  “We need water over here!” the volunteer chief yelled, directing the lone fire engine to pull closer.

  Landon hurried toward the silos, joined by Drew and two other guys who’d already pulled on their gear. “Anyone in the containers?”

  “Don’t know.” Drew’s jaw tightened. Landon’s stomach plummeted to his toes and propelled him into action. They had to find out. Even though it was the middle of the night and climbing inside the containers was dangerous to do alone, it wasn’t wise to assume no one was in there. Trains and trucks passing through in the early morning hours, ready to transport grain and corn, might’ve required someone on-site to monitor the process. Sometimes that meant a person had to work inside the silos shoveling the grain.

  While the rest of the volunteer firefighters directed the hoses and water toward the flames, Landon surveyed the scene. Acrid smoke stung his nostrils. The heat from the fire made him sweat.

  He turned and studied
the old house next to the silos—nothing more than a modest one-room shelter, really. Probably left over from the days when the owner paid somebody to live there and maintain the silos.

  “The fire’s spreading!”

  The ominous words sent a tingle coursing down his spine. Flames had engulfed most of the silos and moved on to eating up the dry grass beside the shack. They were running out of time to find and rescue anyone who might be trapped.

  Landon moved closer to the shack. His chest tightened as he spotted a motionless form lying on the ground.

  “Over here.” He motioned for Drew and the others to follow. He hurried, although the ache in his back hindered his speed. When he got to the person’s side, he noted the man looked young, maybe early twenties. Landon dropped the splint bag and the automatic external defibrillator he’d grabbed from the truck in the dirt then sank to his knees.

  “We shouldn’t move him,” Drew said, hovering beside Landon.

  “He can’t stay right here,” Landon argued. “The fire’s getting closer.”

  “But what if he has a neck injury?”

  Landon pressed his fingertips to the man’s neck. “No pulse.”

  One of the volunteer firefighters sank to his knees opposite Landon and put his ear close to the man’s face. “He’s not breathing.”

  “We have to move him.” Landon gestured for Drew to lift the man’s shoulders. “I’ll get his legs.”

  “Landon—”

  “Drew, we either risk a neck injury and move him to a safer location, or he stays right here and we all get hurt when the flames get too close.”

  “All right,” Drew agreed. “Let’s go. On three.”

  “One, two, three,” Landon grunted, lifting the man’s legs. The other guys moved in, supporting the tall, muscular man’s frame. Landon’s back protested, but he pushed through the pain, determined to do everything he could to save a life.

  When they’d moved a safe distance from the shack and the fire, they lowered him to the ground.

  “I’ll start CPR,” Drew said. “Landon, we need the AED.”