Blowback

by Monica James

  I dig my teeth into his flesh, savoring the sharp metallic taste as it spills into my mouth. I don’t know if it’s my blood or Jaws’s, but either way, I bite down harder and take out a chunk of flesh. Spitting it out quickly, I go back for more. But Jaws soon realizes I’m out for more than blood and reaches into his pocket for his gun.

  He pistol-whips me once, twice, and a third time, before I let go.

  With utter fury, he places the gun to my forehead. I look up at him, smirking. The last thing I’ll see is the gaping hole in the side of his neck. Welcoming my fate, I accept my failure, but I also accept my triumph—I learned to love and what a love it was.

  “I’m coming home, brother.”

  Jaws cocks the trigger, and it’s deja vu all over again because, as I await my death, it never comes.

  “You motherfucker!” There is no mistake. It’s Stevie’s voice.

  Jaws sighs, annoyed he’s been interrupted, but when he realizes he’s seconds away from claiming what he believes is his rightful place, he grins and removes the gun from my forehead, placing it in the small of his back. The real enemy is here. I’m just someone to pass the time.

  Jaws turns to face Stevie, unbothered by the gun trained on him. “Hello, friend. Thanks for coming.”

  “I’m not your friend!” Stevie exclaims, waving his gun. “I never was.”

  Jaws takes a moment to absorb what Stevie has just revealed. “This is true because if it were, you wouldn’t have set me up that way.”

  Stevie looks at me briefly. I wonder what he sees. “You were stupid not to do your homework. Don’t blame me for your carelessness. But Bianca was innocent in all of this. And now that her blood”—he takes a deep breath—“is on your hands, all bets are off. I will have my vengeance on you both, and then this town will only have one king—me.”

  Jaws stands tall. “You really think you can handle it? I mean, you choked when it mattered the most. You allowed someone to play you for a fool, and in turn, I have all the information I need.”

  Stevie glares at me. Jaws is right. He was careless to trust me. “You think I’ll just roll over and allow you to take everything away from me?”

  A suffocating tension hangs in the air, and that’s because Jaws knows he’s won. “Yes,” he finally replies with nothing but confidence as he craftily reaches for his gun.

  Stevie is running on emotion, making him careless once again. I know what’s going to happen, and if I don’t move, I’ll be caught in the crossfire. The moment Jaws draws his gun, I rock my chair backward and connect with the floor.

  The room erupts into gunfire, and I use my body to shuffle along the slippery dance floor as best I can. I take cover by the stage, the world tilted as I watch two former friends try to kill each other.

  This is a war I wanted no part in, but every war has casualties, and it seems my vengeance has turned me into one. There are no good guys in this story. Just men driven by their own selfish reasons. Me included. But as I watch Jaws and Stevie fight, I find myself rooting for the big bad because there is no way I’ve come this far to fail.

  Jaws will die tonight—just not by Stevie’s hand.

  With that as my incentive, I forget about the pain and twist my broken hand, desperate to break free. The cable ties bite into my skin, but as I maneuver back and forth, I’m able to slip free. In his arrogance, Jaws secured me with only one cable tie, which is his bad.

  My broken hand is useless, so I use the other to frantically tug at the tie around my ankles. It’s done up tight, so there is only one way I’m going to be able to get loose, and that’s break the leg of the wooden chair. Just as I’m about to smash it against the side of the stage, someone moves to stand over me.

  Peering up, I don’t know whether to be relieved or concerned. It’s José.

  Without thought, he reaches into his back pocket and produces a knife. He cuts through the ties at my ankles. Once I’m free, we both squat behind the stage, watching the scene unfold.

  The gunshots ring through the club, but I can hear José loud and clear when he yells, “Who killed her? I know she wasn’t faithful, but I want to know…Who fucking killed her?” And this is why he had no qualms betraying Stevie.

  He isn’t stupid. He clearly knows each and every player in this situation. He has every right not to trust either of them. But why does he trust me?

  If I tell him it was Jaws, he will kill him, taking away what is rightfully mine. I can’t allow all of this to have been for nothing. Tiger and Jordy are surely safe by now, so it’s time I end this once and for all.

  “They both did,” I reply, which is the truth. Stevie didn’t pull the trigger, but if he really loved her, he would have let her go, just as I did with Tiger. “But Jaws is mine. He took something from me…and I want it back.”

  “What does he have?”

  Inhaling deeply, I answer, “My freedom.”

  I’m expecting José to fight me, but we have always had a mutual respect between us. I don’t know why, but he nods, granting me my wish. He digs into his jacket and gives me a Glock. But I shake my head, gesturing for the knife instead.

  “What do you get?” I question, not understanding his motives.

  He smiles. “Detroit needs a new kingpin, and that will be me.”

  With Bianca, Stevie, and Jaws gone, there will be no competition and no family loyalty, meaning all the power, all the money will be his. But in this case, better the devil you know.

  Once I’m armed, I peer over the stage to see where Jaws and Stevie are. They are hiding behind booths, ready for the other to make a grave mistake. But when Stevie stands, José doesn’t hesitate. He aims and shoots him in the chest— like the wound which killed his cousin.

  Jaws spins over his shoulder, gun raised, assessing the threat, but when he sees José, a large smile forms.

  Stevie gasps for air, his eyes growing wide as he clutches at his bleeding chest. He collapses onto his front with a thud and simply stops breathing. His death is merciful and very anticlimactic. I’m disappointed he didn’t suffer more.

  “José,” Jaws says with a gracious nod. “That bastard deserved it after what he did to Bianca.”

  This lying sack of shit is convincing, I’ll give him that, but José doesn’t care who’s to blame. He’s ready to take his place on the throne.

  “Yes, I know.”

  Jaws’s confidence soon simmers. I assume he told José the basics, but for him to be so certain can only mean one thing.

  Coming to a steady stand, I take great pleasure in seeing the surprise flicker to life behind Jaws’s dead eyes. He soon composes himself, however.

  “Colmillo told me Stevie was the one who killed my dear cousin. I always told her you were the better man, but you know she always did what she wanted.”

  Jaws looks at me for corroboration. He gets nothing in return.

  “Yes, she did, which is one of the many things I loved about her.” When he looks to be shedding a tear, I clench my fist, so ready to end this asshole’s life. “Stevie snapped. Didn’t want to share her anymore. But you couldn’t tame someone like Bianca. God rest her soul.”

  José nods while I stand still, watching this motherfucker closely. Knowing these are going to be his last few moments on earth gives me a small sliver of satisfaction, but killing him will never bring back what he stole from me.

  “I’ll have someone clean this up, and then we can talk,” Jaws says to José, implementing his plan even before the woman he supposedly loved is buried. He is truly a sociopath.

  José nods, reaching into his pocket to grab his cell. “I’ve just got to make a call.” He exits the club, not clueing Jaws into anything.

  Once he’s out of earshot, Jaws nods in approval. “Right choice,” he commends, none the wiser. “So, we going to do this?”

  “You give me your word no harm comes to my friends and family, to Lily and her son, then yes, let’s end this right now.”

  “You have my word,” Jaws says wi
th conviction. If this were anyone else, their word would mean something, but this is Jaws, the animal who kidnapped his own nephew for his own personal gain.

  His word means jack shit.

  “Call Tiger,” I order. I would do it, but I don’t want to hear her apologies. What’s done is done. She did what she had to, and now, so must I.

  Jaws must be able to read my resolve because he digs into his pocket and casually retrieves his cell. He doesn’t seem troubled his once best friend lies in a bloody heap just feet away. He dials and puts it on speakerphone.

  When I hear her panicked voice, the need to protect her is so overwhelming, I almost lunge for the phone to ask if she’s all right. But I stay put.

  “Christopher, where’s Bull?” she asks on a rushed breath. I’m touched.

  Jaws isn’t, however, and ignores her question. “Did you get Jordy?”

  She exhales. “Yes.”

  “And he was okay?”

  “Yes,” she replies with bitterness. “That still doesn’t excuse what you did. I want to talk to Bull.”

  Jaws looks at me, but I shake my head slowly. I got all the answers I need. “Well, he doesn’t want to talk to you. Besides, you did more than enough talking when you decided to betray him.”

  “You son of a—” Jaws hangs up on her, smirking.

  “Satisfied?” he mocks, tucking the cell back in his pocket.

  No, I am not fucking satisfied and won’t be until he stops breathing, but I nod.

  “Good, now any last requests?”

  Rocking back on my heels, I nod. “Just one.” Jaws waits for me to continue. “I asked you this once before, but I want to know. Why did you do it? I don’t accept your flippant response. In this case, shit doesn’t just happen. So I want you to tell me different. I want you to tell me there was a reason you killed my brother. That his death wasn’t in vain.”

  Jaws ponders my request. “I’ve killed a lot of men since then. Their faces, their names, I barely remember, but your brother, I remember like it was yesterday,” he reveals with sentiment. “As for a reason…the reason is—”

  I hold my breath. Could it be after so many years I get some sort of peace? An explanation that’ll satisfy the monster within?

  But I should know by now…life doesn’t work that way.

  “The reason is…why the hell not? Your brother was just like every other asshole who thought they were better than me. And he suffered the same fate. So the answer to your question is I did it because I could. Because people like your brother are weak and taking from them makes me powerful.

  “But your brother is one of a kind. They say you always remember your first time, and it’s true. Your brother was my first kill,” he reveals while I wish Damian was never associated with that title. “I feel a special connection with him. With you. Maybe that’s the reason I haven’t killed you yet. I can’t ignore that fate seems to keep bringing you back into my life. Maybe we both needed one another to grow into the better version of ourselves.”

  I feel sick to my stomach if he truly believes this.

  “So this is on me?” I question, hooking my thumb toward my chest.

  Jaws tilts his head to the side, watching me closely. “If you weren’t such a little hothead, then maybe things would have turned out differently. But truthfully, I was just waiting for the right moment, and then the universe delivered you into my lap.

  “In some ways, I should thank you for allowing me to see my full potential. Killing your brother showed me what I was capable of, of how taking gives you power. I became addicted to that high.”

  Swallowing down my disgust, I refuse to accept this because if what he’s saying is true, then I’m partly to blame for the monster standing in front of me. I shouldn’t have let him get to me because if I had just walked away, then Damian would still be alive.

  Yes, Jaws was a psychopath in the making. But I hate to think I played a part in nurturing the demons to fruition. I can never undo the past, but I can try to better the future.

  “You did all of this just because you could?”

  Jaws nods slowly. “This is just an example of wrong place, wrong time. Do you believe in destiny?”

  I curl my lip, disgusted he would see our meeting as anything but tragic. He doesn’t share the sentiment, though.

  “I’m glad it was you.”

  “Glad?” I spit, shaking my head.

  “Yes. Over the years, I’ve never met a worthy opponent. But you, Bull…I’ll never forget you.”

  I am not touched in the slightest. This asshole doesn’t seem to understand the damage he’s caused to so many. So, it’s time that he does.

  “I’ll never forget you either,” I state, the knife at the small of my back burning me raw. “There is something I want to give you. I don’t want it anymore.”

  “What is it?” he asks, appearing curious.

  Raising my hands in surrender, I commence a slow walk toward him. He doesn’t flinch, as he believes I’m unarmed. “I never wanted to become this…thing,” I settle on. “But I think, just like you, I was always destined to submit to the darkness inside me.

  “I always lived in the shadow of my brother, but that night when we first met, that fight was mine. If only Damian stopped being the damn hero, things would have turned out so differently.” And I mean it. But in no way is this his fault. Martyrs all die for a cause, and Damian’s was being the best damn brother this world ever saw.

  Jaws appears to be listening intently.

  “I learned a lot that night. I learned that monsters are real. But I also learned that I’m the biggest monster of them all. And I guess I have you to thank for that because when I killed Hero, I knew I’d found my calling in life.

  “I live my life in the darkness because no one judges me here for all that I’ve done. And all that I must do. So what I want to give you is very personal to me. It’s something I’ve carried with me for fourteen fucking years.

  “I may never get the answers I sought, but I’m finally okay with that, and that’s because fourteen years of suffering, I give to you. It’s my gift to you. Take it. It’s all yours.”

  Jaws watches as I reach behind me, believing I am producing a physical gift. But what I have doesn’t take on a physical shape. What I have has eaten away at my soul.

  The moment I grip the handle of the knife, a sense of peace falls over me. I learned a lot in prison. I learned that hesitation will get you killed. So will underestimating your opponent. Too bad Jaws never learned these lessons because when I strike out and stab him between his vertebrae, he doesn’t stand a chance.

  The surprise on his face is evident as he collapses to the floor. He tries to move, but he can’t, and that’s because I’ve just severed his spinal cord.

  Dropping to a squat beside him, I wipe the bloody blade across his shirt. “Do you know there is one particular spot in the spine that I like to call the sweet spot?” I explain, savoring Jaws’s labored pants. “And if you’re able to stab between the vertebrae, you have to ensure you get it with precision, you can paralyze someone without killing them. So essentially, they’re just a head on a stick.”

  Jaws grunts, still trying to move.

  “Which is what you are,” I conclude with a sinister smirk. “You’re completely paralyzed from the neck down. So stop trying to move. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

  Jaws slams his head against the floor, letting out a scream.

  “I could keep you alive for days, weeks even. Nothing would please me more than to see you suffer, seeing you humiliated this way. Shame on you for being careless because this is the end of the line for you.”

  Seeing Jaws helpless this way is hard to digest. I never thought this day would come. Yes, it’s been far from easy, but I’m almost disappointed it’s come to an end.

  “José,” he pants, realizing where I got the knife from.

  “Yes. He knows what you did. And he wants to see you pay.”

  “What are you going
to do?” he asks in winded pants.

  I pretend to ponder his question. “I think that’s fairly obvious,” I reply, tracing the side of his face with my knife. “For fourteen years, I’ve carried this…hatred inside me. I don’t want it anymore. I don’t know what happens next, but what I do know is that killing you is the start of something new. The possibilities are endless because this entire time, I’ve been half alive. You’ve stolen something of mine, and I want it back.”

  “Whatever you want, take it. Just help me.”

  “Help you?” I scoff, disgusted by his begging. “You didn’t really think you’d win, did you?”

  And for once in his life, Jaws experiences defeat. “Lillian will never forgive you if you kill me. I’m the only family she has.”

  In some ways, I think that may be true. But honestly, I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me for a lot of things. I don’t know what will happen to us. I haven’t thought that far ahead.

  “I know,” I acknowledge without further explanation because there isn’t any.

  Jaws tries to move away but howls in anger when he realizes this paralysis is a permanent gig.

  “You took my freedom, and by killing you…you’re giving it back. In return, I’m giving you this person I don’t want to be anymore. This person you helped create.”

  This entire time, I believed killing Kong, Scrooge, and Jaws was for Damian. But now I see that it’s for me as well. With death comes new life, and this is my chance to be reborn. Damian doesn’t have the same chance, so I will live for us both.

  I will always favor the shadows; I was hardwired that way. But the light doesn’t scare me anymore. Whoever I see, I’ll know that person is no longer a monster—he’s merely a man. Suddenly, the future seems a lot brighter.

  But there is one final thing I have to do.

  “Maybe you’re right. Maybe we met for a reason,” I consider, flicking my thumb over the sharp tip of the knife. “I will never accept that there was a reason for Damian’s death, but his legacy will always live on because by killing you, I’ve essentially saved millions.