Ruined Mercy

by Brook Wilder

  Machine Gun.

  Dropping my hand, I surveyed the rest of the container. It was loaded with weapons as I would have expected it to be, some in boxes and some not, but from what I could tell, they were all big. Very, very big. “Damn Gun Jesus. What did you do? Rob the damn military?”

  “Nah, man,” Gun Jesus said, rocking back and forth on his heels. “Nah, man.”

  I frowned, looking over at him. That wasn’t a normal response from the weapons dealer, the famous Gun Jesus who loved to spout quotes from the bible and just be all around crazy. “You alright?”

  “Fine.”

  I turned back to the shipment, trying to remember what Chains had requested this month. After the excitement of our latest brush with the cartel, Chains was worried the retaliation was going to be swift and brutal. The only way to prepare was to make sure we were armed to the teeth, which was where I had stepped in.

  After all, I didn’t have anything else going on.

  But I didn’t remember asking for the damn military arsenal when I talked to Gun Jesus nearly a month ago. “You got the list?” I wanted to check off what I had asked for because if Chains saw this, he would shit a brick thinking I had lost my mind.

  Gun Jesus made a sound. “Hell, man just take the shit and go on already. I don’t want this shit on my hands.”

  There was something seriously wrong. I tried not to show any panic as I turned to face him, glad that my guns were strapped to my hips this time around. One could not be too careful when dealing with a weapons dealer who didn’t have it all screwed in right to begin with. “What are you afraid of?”

  “I just don’t want this shit on my hands anymore, okay?” he answered, nervously picking at his fingernail and avoiding my eyes. “It’s more than you asked for. Just take it.”

  “It’s a lot of heavy shit,” I replied slowly. “Real heavy. We just need some new pistols and shit, not rocket launchers, man.” Besides, I would have to log all of these weapons and there were some in there that I didn’t even know what they were.

  And if I didn’t know, then I sure as hell didn’t want to take possession of it.

  “Come on, quit busting my balls, alright? I’m giving it to you and the club. No charge this time. Consider it a gift.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest, eyeing the man I had known for a good number of years. Gun Jesus would never give anything for free. He valued the money he made off these weapons and there were thousands of dollars in it for him with this shipment. “Spill it, man. If you are in some shit, we might be able to help.”

  Gun Jesus let out a heavy sigh, his eyes wild. “Fine. Damn, you don’t know when to drop it do you, Machine Gun? I’m in deep shit man. Ain’t no amount of club protection gonna help me with this one.”

  “It can’t be that bad,” I protested, wanting to get to the root of this issue so I could get back to the club. The longer I was here, by myself, the easier it could be for someone to pick me off. While we had some tags on where the cartel was starting to build again, there were still rogues out there looking to make a name for themselves and kill the club that had gotten their hands on the bank accounts funding their operations. “Unless you sold your soul to the devil.”

  “If you call the CIA the devil, then yeah, I did.”

  Surprised, I stared at him. The FBI had stayed well out of the way since we turned over the accounts to them, though it did help that the new police chief was involved with a former club member. But the CIA? “What?”

  He shook his head, his long hair swaying wildly about his face. “I didn’t know, man, I swear! When they gave me this shit, I tried to give it back, but they wouldn’t take it. When I saw the badge, I didn’t believe it either, but it’s the truth. The fucking CIA is building a war against the cartel.”

  Shit. That was not what I needed to hear. “Who have you told?” I asked darkly.

  “No one,” he said quickly, shaking his head even more. “I swear. I don’t want to be part of this, Machine Gun. It’s not good for business.”

  That he was right about. If the CIA was pretending to be in a war at the border and trading weapons, we wouldn’t be able to trust anyone. The war with the cartel had been going on for as long as I could remember, though recently had ramped up to the point that we were losing Jesters left and right.

  At this rate, none of us were going to be around for the next year.

  “That’s not all of it.”

  I eyed Gun Jesus. “What are you not telling me?”

  “They are recruiting for this shadow war,” he said, his voice heavy. “Jesters and Bitches. They are recruiting the clubs and God knows who else.”

  Shit and double shit. If that was the case, we were about to get pulled into a war we didn’t want to be a part of. “Don’t tell anyone what you told me, alright?”

  Gun Jesus held up his hands. “You don’t have to worry about that. I want out of this shithole, away from this shit, man. This ain’t why I got into the business.”

  I rubbed my hand over my face, the last few days of little sleep really starting to pull on my body. “Yeah, well, don’t go disappearing. If the CIA are telling you about this, they aren’t planning on you to just walk out of this.”

  “Tell me about it,” he muttered, his expression wary. “They mentioned that. Said it’d be a real shame if I committed suicide with two bullets to the back of my head.”

  Turning back to the container, I eyed the large weapons, wondering what the hell I was going to tell Chains. I would have to tell him about the CIA and their plans but had no idea what we were gonna do about it. If the feds were snooping around, starting their own war undercover, it was going to make it ten times harder to decide who could be trusted and who was out to steal our own club out from underneath us.

  Stepping out of the container, I shut the door before starting toward my bike, my jaw clenched.

  This war was about to blow up and I was afraid that this time, no one was coming out of this alive.

  END OF BOOK 4

  Read on for a preview from BOOK 5 – Sinful Haven

  A Word from Brook Wilder

  Thank you for reading RUINED MERCY. I hope you liked it as much as I did writing it. The story of the Rough Jesters and the Hell’s Bitches continues in a series of fast paced standalone romances that will take these characters to places that neither you nor they will have expected.

  Book five, SINFUL HAVEN, will follow Damian “Machine Gun” Gibson as he finds his paths crossing with his dead best friend’s little sister in the midst of an all-out war. Available to read September 30th.

  Book six, TAINTED DESIRE, sees Eileen “Siren” Vaughn chase after the CIA agent Voodoo. But when they are forced to work together, an unexpected spark will light between the two and they’ll have to choose between their heart and their oaths. Available to read October 31st.

  There will be nine total books in this series and the fun is just getting started. So what are you waiting for? Once you ride along with the Rough Jesters, you won’t be able to stop…

  BOOKS IN THE ROUGH JESTERS MC SERIES

  WIDOW MAKER

  SAVAGE ANGEL

  BROKEN BEAUTY

  CORRUPT HONOR

  RUINED MERCY

  SINFUL HAVEN

  TAINTED DESIRE

  OUTLAW VIRTUE

  WICKED LEGACY

  SHATTERED GRACE

  SINFUL HAVEN

  Chapter 1

  Elisa

  Ten Years Ago

  I swung my legs back and forth on the bed as I watched my brother throw a pair of socks in the duffel bag. “How much else are you gonna put in there?”

  Will grinned. “What? Do you think I’m packing too much for a year?”

  I wrinkled my nose. “I think you need more underwear.”

  He pushed at my shoulder lightly. “I’m gonna miss you kid.”

  I rolled my eyes while he resumed packing. I wasn’t a kid anymore. I was nineteen years old and about to start college in a fe
w short months after taking a year off to save some money up. “You know, when you come back, I’ll be done with my first year of college.”

  “My baby sister, a college kid,” Will responded with the shake of his head. “I can’t believe they let you in.”

  I knew he was joking. He had been my biggest supporter, pushing me to get good grades in school so I could get into the University of Texas nursing program. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a nurse, to help others. I wasn’t sure what I wanted my focus to be yet, but I was excited to start my career. “Hook ‘em horns.”

  Will just chuckled and I savored that laugh. Though I wouldn’t outwardly show it, I was worried about him going to Afghanistan. This was his second assignment in the five years he had been in the army and at twenty-six, Mom was starting to pester him for grandkids.

  Instead, he was going overseas, to fight the war that had already taken so many lives. I really didn’t want him to go. I was so proud of my brother, so proud that he had chosen a life of service for our country, but he was still my brother.

  They could send someone else, but not him. Well, they were sending someone else with him, someone I felt differently about, though almost as strongly. “Where’s Damian?” I asked casually, hoping my voice didn’t give anything away.

  “He’s coming by later,” Will said as he rifled through his dresser for something. “We are going to go get- uh, go enjoy our last night.”

  I smirked, my face still hot despite my age. I knew what they were going to do. Will might still see me as his kid sister, but I wasn’t. But my face wasn’t hot because of his near slip up. It was because of Damian. Gorgeous, tall, dark-haired Damian with a grin that could light up a room and a body no woman could ignore.

  Including me. I’d had a crush on him for years, though I knew he didn’t feel the same way. I was just his best friend’s kid sister.

  “Why the long face?”

  I met my brother’s gaze. “What?”

  “You look like you lost your best friend,” he stated, throwing a shirt at me. “Don’t tell me you’re going to miss me that much.”

  I slid off the bed, my heart heavy at the thought of him leaving tomorrow. From Texas they would go to California for training and then from there, to enemy lines. “Of course I won’t miss you.”

  “That’s my girl,” Will grinned as I laid the shirt on the bed. “Don’t be stealing my clothes either. I know you took my sweatshirt.”

  I had, mainly because it smelled of him and I didn’t want to lose the warmth I felt whenever I put it on. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” he said, shooing me toward the door. “Alright. Out. I have to get ready for tonight.”

  I paused at the door, drinking in the sight of my brother in this safe place, my throat constricting with tears. He had to come back safe.

  I wouldn’t know how to live without him.

  ***

  Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, a thump and a chuckle outside my room woke me up. I hurried to the door and wrenched it open, fearing the worst.

  Instead I found Will being helped down the hall by Damian, his steps unsteady. “Is he drunk?”

  Damian looked over at me and grinned. “Yeah, just a little. Sorry. Did we wake you?”

  “Yeah, just a little,” I grumbled, taking Will’s other arm and slinging it over my shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get him to bed.”

  Carefully, I helped Damian get Will to his bedroom, lowering him onto the bed. Already Will was nearly done for, mumbling as I cushioned his head with a pillow.

  “Sis,” he slurred, a sloppy smile on his face. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” I answered, my throat closing up. “Come on Will, go to sleep.”

  He nodded and turned over just as Damian got his shoes off and covered him with a blanket. “He never could hold his whiskey.”

  I pressed my finger to my lips and motioned for him to follow me out of the room just as Will’s snores filled the air. “What did y’all do tonight?” I asked once we were in the hall.

  “You know,” he grinned, his eyes twinkling in the darkness. “A little bit of this. A little bit of that. Nothing that will get us arrested.”

  His grin was infectious even though I was acutely aware I was standing in front of my crush with a set of short pajamas on and no bra.

  In my dreams, it was always the other way around; him in less clothing.

  “I probably should get going,” Damian was saying, his voice soft. “We got a long day ahead of us.”

  “You should just sleep here,” I blurted out.

  His eyes went wide and I cursed myself for letting that be my pickup line to the man I had crushed on for years. “I mean, you shouldn’t drive home like this. Sleep it off.”

  “Are you blushing Elisa?”

  I was, dammit. This was going all sorts of wrong. I had thought about the moment I would profess my crush on him and ask if he wanted to, well, you know. I was sure Damian had girls throwing themselves at him all the time.

  But I wanted to be different. I wanted him to see me as more than just Will’s little sister or a one night stand. I wanted to be the girl he thought of while he was gone, the one he wanted waiting for him when he got back.

  I wanted to be so much more than I was to him.

  So, I took a leap of faith and pressed my lips to his, feeling his start of surprise under my lips. He tasted like beer and something spicy I couldn’t place, a thousand thoughts racing through my mind.

  When his hand cupped the back of my neck, I sighed with happiness. Yes! This was what I wanted. This was what I had waited for.

  I stepped closer, wanting to press my body flush against his, but Damian tore his mouth from mine, taking a few steps back instead.

  Dazed, it took me a second to process what was going on.

  He ran his hand over his shorn head a few times, clearing his throat. “I, hell Elisa, I didn’t mean to do that.”

  He hadn’t done anything. I had. “It’s okay, really.”

  “No, I shouldn’t be kissing you,” he continued, as if I hadn’t even said my piece. “I mean, Will is gonna kill me.”

  I stepped forward, touching my hand to his arm. “I kissed you, Damian, because I like you.”

  He chuckled, stepping away from my touch once more. “Come on, Elisa. You can’t like me. I’m no good for you and besides, you’re my best friend’s sister. I could never cross that line.”

  My heart sank. He didn’t want me. I had just professed my feelings for him and he didn’t want me.

  “Aw come on, don’t look at me like that.”

  I shrugged the horrible feeling in my chest off, trying to act nonchalant about it. “Hey it’s okay. I just thought since you were leaving, but it’s okay, really.”

  “Elisa,” he stated but I was already headed back toward my bedroom. “Take care of my brother, Damian. Bring him home.”

  He said something but I was already ducking into my bedroom, shutting the door behind me. I waited until his footsteps passed by my door before I sank to the floor, my silent sobs racking my body. I had just made a complete fool out of myself with the one person I loved more than my brother. I had kissed Damian and he had rejected me like I was some girl off the street!

  A sob escaped me and I covered my mouth, knowing I had to pull myself together. I wasn’t going to tell anyone about this, especially not Will. I needed him to focus on keeping himself alive.

  And Damian, too. Maybe by the time they got back, he wouldn’t remember how I had made an absolute fool out of myself.

  Chapter 2

  Damian

  Ten Years Later

  “Hell no! You are gonna shoot your own damn foot off if you hold it like that. Give me the damn gun.”

  The prospect handed it over and I put the gun on the table, wondering where in the hell this guy thought he knew how to shoot. “Have you ever shot a gun before?”

  He puffed out his che
st. “Hell yeah I have. I’ve shot a lot of guns before.”

  Translation, no guns shot and just another hot-headed asshole wanting to be part of a biker gang he couldn’t handle. With one swift motion, I knocked his ass out, stepping over his body as he snoozed on the concrete floor. “Anyone else want to lie to me today?”