Finding Storm

by Samantha Towle

  “Uh-huh, sure you don’t, Dad.” That’s Billy in that awesome sardonic voice of his.

  “I don’t,” Jake exclaims. “Tru, tell our kids that I don’t smoke. I used to, but I stopped when your mom was pregnant with you, JJ.”

  Tru laughs. Coming over with a cup of coffee, she puts it down in front of Jake and kisses him on his cheek. “No, babe, course you don’t smoke.”

  Jake turns to Tru, captures her chin in his hand, and briefly kisses her on the lips.

  “Ugh, gross,” Belle complains. “Can we stop the PDA? Please. And, Dad, we know you hide your cigarette butts in the planter. FYI, you’re a terrible hider. But it’s okay. We know you only smoke when you’re stressed with work. So, we let it go.”

  God, Stevie would have a hernia if she knew where Jake was disposing of his cigarette butts.

  Not that I didn’t already know where he hid them. He’s been doing it since I came to live here. It’s a running joke among all of us. Jake thinks that no one knows that he still smokes occasionally.

  Jake glances around all our faces, brows drawn together. “You all know?”

  Tru slides her arm over his shoulders and laughs. “Course we know.”

  “Huh,” he says. “So, that means I can smoke freely then?”

  “No!” is the resounding answer, and I start to laugh.

  I fucking love these people.

  It’s going to be weird, not seeing them nearly every day.

  “So, was it a yes to that breakfast?” Tru asks me, still standing next to Jake.

  I shake my head. “No. I’m good.” I swallow down.

  I feel so goddamn nervous, telling them that I’m leaving. I’m not sure why because they’ve always been nothing but supportive to me.

  “Everything okay?” Tru asks, still smiling at me.

  I nod and swallow. “Yeah … I just … I came to tell you that I’m leaving,” I blurt out.

  No one says anything. And they don’t seem surprised either. Which is surprising.

  “Well, I met this girl when I was away in Arizona. She’s called Stevie. And … well, she’s awesome and I’m crazy about her and I want to be with her … so I’m moving to Arizona to be with her. I’m going today. Well, now in fact.”

  My eyes go to Jake’s, who’s just looking at me steadily. “I’m not quitting the band,” I tell him. “I spoke to the boys and Zane last night. I’m going to keep writing the songs from there and then fly back to record them. It’s literally an hour’s flight from there to LA, so I can be here at the drop of a hat. I’ll be back as often as I’m needed. I won’t slack. But I want to be with her. And she’s there. She can’t move here. So … I’m going there to be with her.”

  There’s absolute quiet in the kitchen, and then JJ says, “So, you met a girl, and now, you’re moving to Arizona?”

  I look at him. “In a nutshell, yeah,” I tell him.

  “Weird. But okay. Whatever makes you happy, man.”

  “It’s not weird,” Belle says to JJ. She hops down off her stool and comes over to me. She wraps her arm around my waist, hugging me. I look down at her, and she smiles up at me. “I think it’s really romantic.”

  “Well, just so everyone knows, I won’t be leaving home for any chick anytime—ever,” Billy announces, and I chuckle.

  Leaving Jake, Tru walks over to me and takes hold of my hand, giving it a squeeze. “I agree with Belle. I think it’s really romantic. You know, I moved halfway around the world to be with Jake, and it was the best thing I ever did.”

  “Course it was. I’m fucking amazing,” Jake says.

  “Dollar in the swear jar, Dad,” Belle tells him, going back to sit down.

  “Jesus, why do we even still have that thing?” Jake complains. “You’re all practically grown adults, for fu—God’s sake.”

  “We have it to annoy you.” JJ smirks at him.

  “And if we’re grown adults, that means we don’t have to have curfew anymore,” Belle adds.

  “I said, practically grown adults. Not actual grown-ups.”

  “Semantics, Dad. You can’t have it both ways,” Billy tells him. “It’s one or the other.”

  “For fuck’s sake,” Jake growls, rising from his stool.

  “Two dollars,” Belle singsongs.

  Jake shoots Belle a look before walking over to me. “You’re leaving me to deal with them on my own?” He’s smiling when he says it.

  “Sorry.” I grin.

  God, I fucking love these people. This house.

  It’ll always be home.

  But I need to go be with Stevie.

  If she’ll still have me, that is.

  “So …” Jake says. “You’re moving to Arizona.”

  It’s just me and him now. Tru has moved to sit with the kids at the counter.

  “Yeah. But like I said, I’ll be back in the studio as often as needed. I won’t slack off.”

  Jake puts his hands on my shoulders. “Storm, don’t sweat it. It’ll be fine. And I get it. I do. I would have given up the whole world for Tru.”

  “Gross, Dad!” Billy calls, and I chuckle.

  “Your mom loves it. Right, babe?”

  “Sure do,” Tru says back.

  Jake focuses back on me. “Do what you need to do, and we’ll be right here, whenever you need us.”

  “Thank you,” I tell him. “For everything.”

  “You don’t have anything to thank me for.” One of his hands goes to the back of my neck, and he looks me in the eyes. “We love you, kid. As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters. And I know I’m not your dad, but—”

  “You are,” I cut him off. “You, Tom, and Den. You’re all my dads. But you win Tom and Den out for the top spot, just don’t tell them,” I mock-whisper.

  Jake chuckles. But his eyes fill with some unnamed emotion. “Don’t worry about the album,” he tells me, his voice sounding rougher than it did a moment ago. “Or your boys or anything. It’ll all be okay. Just go to Arizona, to your girl, and be happy. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  And then I do something I’ve never done before. I hug Jake.

  I was never what you’d call an affectionate teenager. I’d take a hug but never give one.

  It was always Jake showing me affection and me taking but never giving. God, I was an asshole.

  Jake stiffens in surprise at first but immediately hugs me back. And he hugs me tight.

  My eyes start to sting.

  “Hey! No hugging without me.” Tru jumps up from her seat and comes over, fitting herself into the hug.

  And before I know it, they’re all here—JJ, Billy, and Belle—hugging me.

  And I’m about to start fucking crying. For fuck’s sake.

  “Okay, let’s break this up before I start crying and ruin my makeup,” Tru says. She cups my cheek and kisses it. “We’ll come to Arizona to see you real soon. I want to meet Stevie.”

  They all walk me to the door. JJ giving me shit for moving to be with a girl I’ve known for a few weeks.

  He doesn’t get it now. But he will when he meets his girl.

  They walk out with me to my car. I hug them all again.

  “Drive safely,” Tru tells me.

  “I will.”

  I turn to Jake. “Will you tell Tom and Den for me … that I’m moving?” It was hard enough, telling them. I don’t want to have to do it another two times.

  Jake nods in understanding. “I’ll tell them. Just expect a call from Tom, either yelling because you left without saying good-bye or blubbering. Probably the latter. He’s a needy bastard like that.”

  He chuckles, and so do I.

  Then, I hug Jake one last time. I hug him tight.

  “Love you,” I tell them all.

  Then, I climb into my car to the resounding sound of, “Love you,” from them all.

  Seat belt on, I start my car. I give them all one last look. Then, I put my car into drive.

  Destination: Cavallis’ B&B, Lak
e Havasu, Arizona.

  Well, not quite yet. First, I have a couple of other stops to make. I need to go and see the guys before I go.

  I’ve literally just pulled out of the gates to Jake and Tru’s house when I see Raze, Cash, and Levi waiting up front. They’re all leaning up against the hood of Cash’s car. Raze’s motorbike is parked up beside it.

  Bringing my car to a stop, I put her in park and get out.

  “What’re you fuckers doing here?” I ask, walking over to them. “I was just coming to see you before I left for Arizona.”

  “I bet he was going to your place first,” Cash says to Raze. “He’s always liked you best.”

  “That’s ’cause I’m prettier than you two ugly fuckers.” Raze grins at Cash.

  “As nice as this mothers’ meeting is, you still haven’t told me what the fuck you’re doing here,” I say.

  “You told your girl that you’re going back to Arizona to stay?” Levi asks me.

  “No.” I shake my head.

  “He’s scared she’ll tell him not to come,” Cash says, smirking.

  Asshole.

  “Fuck off. I want to surprise her.”

  “Well, she’ll definitely be surprised when we all rock up there,” Raze says.

  What?

  What does he mean … we?

  “It’s a long fucking drive for nothing though,” Levi adds.

  “Nah, it’ll totally be worth it to see Storm get knocked back. Never seen it happen before. I’d legit pay good money to watch it,” Cash says.

  “Hang on.” I lift my hand, stopping them. “What the fuck are you dipshits talking about? You’re not coming with me to Arizona.”

  Levi comes over and claps me on the back. “ ’Fraid we are. We’re all kind of a package deal. Where you go, we go. And considering we’ve got an album to record, we’re gonna be stuck to your ass like glue until it’s done.”

  “But I sorted it with Zane last night. I’m gonna fly back here as often as I’m needed. You don’t need to be with me to record the album.”

  Raze pushes up off the car. “We spoke to Zane and Jake last night.”

  “Jake already knew I was leaving?” My eyes grow wide.

  “Yeah, sorry ’bout that, man,” Raze says, holding my stare. “But we all talked after we left your place last night and decided to come with you. So, we spoke to Zane and Jake. Had to tell him, so we could get it all in place. Told them that we’re gonna write and record the album down in Arizona. Jake was the one who texted us to let us know you were here this morning. I asked him to.”

  “And just so you know, you’re paying for the studio time,” Cash adds with a grin.

  They’re coming with me?

  “You’re actually coming with me to Arizona?” My words echo my thoughts.

  “Well, yeah. You don’t get to ditch us that fucking easy,” Cash says. “And it’s not like we’ve got anything else to do right now. And, honestly, man, I really wanna meet this chick who’s got you all tied up in knots.”

  My eyes go to Raze, and he shrugs. “Like Cash said, we’ve got fuck all else going on in LA at the moment. And we thought getting out of here for a bit might do us all some good.”

  I look at Raze. Really look at him.

  He looks tired. They all do.

  Maybe this lifestyle has been wearing them all out more than I realized.

  Guess I’ve been too wrapped up in my own shit to see it. Some fucking friend I am.

  And I know things with Raze’s dad have never been easy for him, but I’m wondering if they’ve gotten harder, and he hasn’t told me.

  I step closer to Raze, my voice lowering. “You okay?” I ask him.

  “Of course he’s fucking okay.” Cash wraps his arm around Raze’s neck, pulling him to himself. “He has us. Just like you do, you pussy. We’re family. Now, are we standing around here all day, having a heart-to-heart, or are we getting this show on the road?”

  I can’t believe they’re coming to Arizona with me.

  It’s a lot.

  A fuck of a lot.

  I’m not a man to cry. Although I’ve been on the verge a few times this last week. But fuck if this doesn’t punch me right in the feels.

  My throat starts to burn. And I swear, if I speak right now, I’ll cry like a fucking baby, and these bastards will never let me live it down.

  “You think he’s gonna cry?” Levi says, pretending to whisper to Raze and Cash. “He’s got that weepy look in his eye.”

  “Fuck off,” I say, and they all laugh. Assholes.

  “See you in Arizona.” Levi pats me on the shoulder, heading for Cash’s car, who follows behind him.

  Raze climbs on his motorbike, straddling it, and pulls on his helmet.

  “Hey, any of you dickheads actually know where in Arizona you’re going?” I ask them, knowing full well they don’t.

  Cash stops with his hand on his car door and stares over at me. “No.”

  I laugh. “So, how the hell were you planning on getting there?”

  He gives me a stupid look. “Figured we’d just follow your whiny ass there.”

  “And if you lost me?”

  “Then, we’d call you, dipshit,” Levi says, holding up his cell phone. “Power of technology.” He yanks open the passenger door of Cash’s car and climbs in.

  Shaking my head, I rattle off the address and zip code for the B&B to them. “Stick that in your GPS, and I’ll see you cunts there.”

  I walk over to Raze, who’s just stuck his key in the engine of his bike and kicked off the stand. “Look …” I say to him in a lowered voice. “You don’t have to do this, you know. Come with me to Arizona. I fucking appreciate it, man. I do. But I know you have shit going on here.” And by shit going on, I mean his dad. He’s a fucking useless excuse for a father.

  He stares at me. “Remember when we first met?” he says.

  “Yeah, course I do,” I answer, wondering where he’s going with this.

  I was in one of the music rooms, messing around on a guitar. Raze came in, asked if he could hang. That was the day we started playing music together.

  “My dad was trashed that day. Like usual. But that day, he was being even more of an unbearable cunt. I honestly don’t know how he kept his job at TMS Records for as long as he did. But that day, when I was walking around, staying out of his way, I heard someone playing, so I followed the sound, and there you were. I stood outside that room, thinking, Fuck, this kid can play, and when I found the courage, I came inside and asked if I could hang. We started playing together, and I felt … happy, man. Like I finally fucking belonged, you know.” He shrugs. “This band is my family. You’re my family. Where you dickheads go, I go.”

  I stare at him, understanding everything he’s saying.

  Raze has never had a family. Not a real family. Until me, Cash, and Levi.

  And he’s not ready to walk away from that yet. If ever.

  Cash’s car horn beeps, making me jump. “Are we going? Or you two gonna stand there all day, making fucking eyes at each other?” he yells.

  “Fuck off.” I give him the middle finger. “See you in Arizona.” I pat Raze on the back and head for my car.

  I hear Raze’s bike roar to life just as I start my car up.

  And to the sound of Mötley Crüe’s “Home Sweet Home,” I put my car in drive, pull out onto the street, and head for the highway to take me back to my girl with my boys following behind me.

  My cell starts to ring next to me on the bed.

  My heart jumps. Like it does every time my phone has rung over the last five days, as I hope it’s him.

  Storm.

  I pick my phone up lightning quick.

  I look at the screen.

  Beck.

  I deflate like a balloon.

  Of course it’s not Storm.

  Why would he be calling me? I haven’t heard from him since he left. And it’s not like anything has changed.

  I slide my thumb across the
screen, answering it. “What?”

  “You really need to work on your phone etiquette.”

  “Bite me,” I say.

  Beck laughs. I swear, my brother lives to annoy me.

  “What do you want, Beck? I’m busy here.”

  “Yeah, busy moping around, feeling sorry for yourself, like you have for the last five days.”

  “Fuck off. I’m not moping. I’m …” Lying around, feeling sorry for myself.

  “You want me to kick his ass?” he says, suddenly sounding serious.

  I sigh. “No. He didn’t do anything wrong, Beck. It was just … our lives are in two different places. But it’s nice to know you care.”

  “I never said I cared. I said I’d kick his ass.”

  That makes me laugh. “What is it you wanted? Apart from annoying me.”

  “I need a favor.”

  “No,” is my immediate answer.

  “Aw, come on, Stevie. It’s just a tow.”

  “Then, definitely no.” The last tow I did for him is the reason I’m lying on my bed, feeling like my heart is slowly dying.

  “Please. Dad isn’t here, and I’m busy.”

  I sigh, dragging a hand through my hair. “For God’s sake, Beck.”

  “So, you’ll do it?”

  “Fine,” I huff. “Where am I going?”

  “Main Street.”

  Pause.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  “Sorry, Stevie.” He actually sounds apologetic. At least my thickheaded brother realizes this isn’t going to be easy for me. Doing a tow on the very street where I met Storm.

  Jesus. Here’s some salt. Rub it in my open, bleeding wound.

  “Why does everyone break down there?”

  “Maybe because it’s the main road in town,” Beck says, back to his sarcastic ways, and I flip him the bird even though he can’t see.

  “I don’t want to do it.” I’m practically whining.

  “Come on. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t need your help.”

  That’s true. Beck only asks for a favor when he’s in a bind.

  But still …

  “You really need to hire someone to help you. I can’t just be dropping stuff here to come help you out.” Not that I’m super busy at the moment. Currently just lying on my bed, feeling sorry for myself.

  “Last time I’ll ask, Stevie. Promise.”