by Lissa Kasey
His answer made me do an internal sigh of relief since I hadn’t really wanted to wander alone. There was something about exploring a convention with someone who mattered to you. An edge of joy experiencing something with someone else. I reached for his hand and he took mine, and we picked a direction. “But we can look at the machines before we leave, right?” Alex asked.
“Of course.” I had thought of trying to find a quality mid-arm for sewing, especially since Alex seemed to be really good at it. We went right first, heading down the first row in a slow stroll of appraisal, happy to be together, and a keen eye for anything good.
By lunchtime I was starving, which was odd for me, and Alex was playing on a mid-arm machine that I’d already indicated we would be buying. It was a non-digital machine, without one of those touchscreens and all the bells and whistles of most of the mid-arm machines that did embroidery as well. He sat down with the sample and began to flow through a dozen stitches, some of them from the books I’d found him at Mae’s. The sales people had tried to get him into one of the machines with lots of extras, but he waved them off.
The one he’d chosen was more of an industrial type, high speed, a lot of programmable stitches, and a metal frame. It would need a special table, something to inset the machine and give Alex more space, but that was something we could solve when we got home.
Home. I couldn’t wait to get home with Alex. Why had I come again? Oh yeah, fabric. In my pocket I had a handful of cards, contact information, and sample swatches. We’d bought our fair share. Even finding a treasure trove of gnome fabrics that Alex pulled out his credit card for. He’d purchased a kit for a large quilt, which was part paper pieced.
“I have no idea what that means,” Alex admitted as he handed over his card. “But we need to make this for Lukas.”
“I’ll make you do the cutting and the quilting,” I agreed.
He’d also fallen in love with a handful of small designer pieces that he thought would make good gifts for his parents. And one giant unicorn set for Sky.
“Not sure Sky is into unicorns,” I told him.
“Everyone is into unicorns,” Alex said, buying the piece while I wondered if there was a way I could tone down the glitter vibe a bit.
“Okay,” I agreed. Finally he’d caved to the need to play with the machines. And that had been fine because I needed a break from all the color and bluster of the overstuffed fabric booths and chatty merchants.
Alex looked at me wide-eyed when he heard the price. He stopped the machine and got up, as though he was afraid he’d break something so expensive when he’d just been using it like a master. In fact, his skill had a group of folks gathered around, watching as though he had put on a show instead of simply been playing with the machine.
He’d sat at almost two dozen machines, even playing with a few long arms before settling on this one. The nearly 3k sticker price didn’t surprise me at all. It was a quality machine. Simpler than I would have chosen, but I could see why he liked it. And since it was a brand I trusted and had used before, the price tag didn’t really bother me.
“I didn’t realize it was so expensive. It looks so basic,” Alex whispered to me as I waved one of the sales people over. “What are you doing?” He asked in alarm.
“Do you have that machine here? Can we get one?” I asked the woman who responded to my call.
“We do. We also have a twenty percent industry discount,” she said pointing to our badges. “Let me have one grabbed off the truck for you.”
Alex gaped at me. “Micah…”
“What?” I asked.
“It’s three grand. For a sewing machine.”
“Closer to twenty-four hundred before tax.”
“Don’t just buy that for me,” he protested and dug in his pocket for the card Lukas had given him. “Is there enough on my card for it?” And that was how bad he wanted it. I would have bought it for him, but was pretty sure he needed to know it was his too.
“How about we split it?” I said. “You’ll obviously use it, and I will too since it’s industrial enough to work for costumes as well as quilting. We’ll need to find a good place for it in the flat. And an expandable desk with an inset.”
“Split it?” Alex asked like that was a foreign concept. We had been splitting the cost of food all week at his instance to pay for stuff.
“Would you rather buy it yourself and stick it at your brother’s place?”
“I’m not likely to use it unless you’re around.”
“Okay then,” I said. We headed over to a desk area to fill out the paperwork and pay. “We’ll have to take it back to the hotel. Can’t exactly tote it around with us all day.”
“Do you want to leave already? Or see if they can hold it so we can pick it up later?”
“I’m starving,” I admitted. “Would like to get real food instead of the greasy stuff outside. And my head hurts.” It was a mild headache, more from noise and too many people than from the concussion. “So a nap would be nice.”
“We only got halfway around,” Alex said. We had found MaryAnn’s booth and spent a while talking to her about the designs she’d done and the fabrics in the new line she had used. “You haven’t gotten to see everything yet.” He frowned at the giant section of machines. “I got distracted.”
“We have the rest of the week,” I reminded him. Having already found a few fabric lines I liked, and talked to people to get their contact info, I had made a good dent in my plan for the week. I might want to go home and hide in the sanctuary of my place with Alex, but I couldn’t justify the expense of the trip at all if I did that now.
MaryAnn crossed the field of machines just as they were delivering our machine to us. “Wow! Look at you guys!”
“We didn’t exactly think this through,” Alex said, bags heaped at his feet of fabric, patterns, rulers, and samples. I had two entire bags of samples. Perks of being part of the industry crowd. The sewing machine… we’d need a large Uber to get that back to the hotel. I was pretty sure it would fit in the SUV I’d rented, but we’d have to wiggle stuff around when we were on our way home.
“I wanted to find you guys and see if you want to have lunch with me and Chad. He’s picking me up, will drop me back off. Can probably take you guys back to the B&B as well,” MaryAnn said.
“Wow, that’d be great, but I’m not sure all this will fit.”
“He’s got a Highlander. Plenty of room. We were thinking some place quiet, maybe that Asian place you showed us the last time, Micah.”
“Hmm, Takamatsu. Japanese, Chinese, and Korean, with a sushi bar for those who like it. Good variety.” My stomach grumbled at the thought of katsu don and miso soup.
“I guess that’s a yes?” Alex said. “If it’s okay with Chad. We don’t want to interrupt you. Not sure if it’s a date or something.”
“Oh no. I mean no, not really. Chad and I are…” She paused long enough for me to wonder if I’d read their relationship wrong. “Something. Though not the typical couple. But more than friends.”
“I had no idea,” I said. I mean I guess might have, but since I’d known Chad was asexual, I hadn’t thought he’d find himself in a relationship. Though I could see how that was flawed thinking. Something else I’d have to work through with my therapist, since that wasn’t a judgment my mind should have leapt to.
“We’ve kept it pretty quiet, so no big deal. I don’t want you guys to feel weird about hanging with us. The group has been off enough about this Byrony thing,” MaryAnn said.
“Yeah, her disappearance has certainly caused a bit of stress,” Alex said.
“Oh, I don’t mean that. Byrony does this sort of thing all the time, to cause a stir or get attention. I mean her attempt to take over the group and force Freya into retirement.” MaryAnn waved her hand. “But that started before you guys got here, so maybe Freya didn’t tell you?”
I had no idea. “Was Freya thinking about leaving the market?” I couldn’t imagine her doing anything else. S
he’d been an influencer before there had been enough of an online presence to influence, beginning with traveling to conventions and posing for thousands of pictures. “I never thought she’d leave the business. She loves designing and photography so much.”
“She does. But she’s been doing it so long and she misses traveling more. I know Grace was talking about taking over the hotel for her, and Nicole and Julie have been working on plans to help manage her vlog as she travels. She was going to do a study in costuming in different cultures. I think she was even working on a book,” MaryAnn said. “Freya would need a really good reason to stay.”
Wow, was I out of the loop, or what? “I feel bad. I had no idea.”
MaryAnn shrugged. “You’ve been doing your own thing. You love the shop and it shows. We were actually all a little surprised when you came this time. I think it’s the reason Byrony came at all, she didn’t think you’d show.”
“I don’t understand that, she and I were nothing to each other. We didn’t talk. We weren’t friends. I barely knew her,” I said, feeling like the blame for her disappearance would fall back on me again. Originally, I’d really debated on coming at all. Had purchased the ticket and reserved my space, but thought I might cancel. Then Alex had dropped into my life full of inspiration and entertainment, quashing my loneliness. My desire to brainstorm with the group had shifted to focus on him, rather than rebuilding anything I might have had previously.
“She didn’t feel that way. Always saw you as a rival. And when Freya mentioned you’d asked for her help with some designs, she flipped out. Like you returning to the group would keep Freya here, and oust her from taking over the vacuum Freya’s departure would create in the cosplay influence world.” MaryAnn’s phone beeped.
Only I had no plans to ever return to cosplay influencing. “I don’t think I have that kind of power over Freya,” I said.
“She adores you,” MaryAnn said. “Would do anything for you. I think that bothered Byrony so much too.”
“Yeah, Melissa made that clear,” Alex said, not looking happy. “We can’t control how other people feel.”
“Of course not. But everyone is excited to have you back. New, old blood in the group. New inspiration,” MaryAnn said. “Especially with Alex’s influence. We all think you’ll bring great things to the group.”
“Everyone except Byrony,” Alex said. I felt a little sick. I needed to get the group together and explain I would not be returning the way they thought I was. And I really was beginning to think coming at all had been a mistake.
“Right,” MaryAnn agreed. “Anyway, Chad’s outside. Let me help you guys get stuff loaded.” She grabbed a few bags. Alex had the rep from the booth wheel the machine on a dolly to the door where we found the SUV idling. Thankfully everything fit with very little jostling.
“Thanks for the ride,” Alex told Chad as he took his place behind the driver’s side, and I sat beside him. MaryAnn took the passenger seat.
“Apparently you guys planned to do some shopping while you’re here.” Chad said.
“I don’t think most of this was planned,” Alex remarked, glancing back at the heap of bags.
“A lot of it is samples for my shop,” I said. Some of the apparel fabrics wouldn’t really fit into the mix of craft supplies I had in my shop, but I’d play with the samples anyway. Perhaps create a new line of easy to wear cosplay items to sell. “The machine is Alex’s new baby.”
Alex flushed. “Micah will use it too, but well, I mean…”
“Watched you quilt yesterday and was shocked. Where did you learn that?” Chad asked. “My grandma used to hand quilt stuff. I remember watching her as a kid. Never got into it myself, but still have a half dozen of those quilts she made for me. Takes skill to do it by hand and to move the machine like you did? That was amazing.”
“It’s more like moving the paper around the pencil,” Alex said absently.
“Right, which is a different skill set,” MaryAnn said. “I’ve done some decorative stitches on fabric. Takes a lot of focus and time. You did it like you’d been doing it forever.”
“It’s just sort of natural for me,” Alex said without elaborating.
We parked at the restaurant, which didn’t look like much from the outside, but had a nicely spread out layout inside. There was a sushi bar, and actual bar section and then a large dining area. We got a table in the middle of the dining area. I didn’t even need to look at the menu as my heart was already set on the chicken and rice bowl with egg sauce. Alex browsed the menu, while MaryAnn marked the sushi request card.
“This will probably be the group’s last big get together anyway,” Chad remarked folding up his menu.
“Why’s that?” Alex asked. “I thought you guys did this a couple times a year at different events?”
“We did. But we’ve reached the end of an era, really,” Chad said.
“It’s really sad, but everyone is older now,” MaryAnn added. “Moving on to other careers and interests. Me to professional costume design, Jonah to modeling and TV, the girls are opening up a shop, and even Chad is starting a non-profit. You were sort of the pioneer in that, Micah,” she said. “Not the videos as much as the shop. Chad and I watch snippets of your tours all the time.”
I looked at Chad. “You’re starting a non-profit?”
“Teaching sewing to kids,” he nodded. “I follow the Instagram pictures of costume stuff you do,” Chad said. “I love those gloves you do for the kids. Can you show me how to make them before you leave? We’ve been doing some classes in low income areas teaching some basics. That would be a fun project for them.”
“Wow, sure. I can donate some supplies too,” I said, more than a little shocked that they seemed to follow my career. “I don’t do a lot of big costumes anymore. More everyday small things, capes, gloves, hats, headbands with ears, or clip-on tails. Never thought of offering classes.”
“Not sure we have the space or the time between the shop and the tours,” Alex pointed out. “Maybe a once a month thing if we can find a place to rent space? Something people could schedule ahead like the children’s tours.”
“Teaching kids is amazing,” Chad said. “I love the time cosplaying when everyone wants a picture with me and I get a couple thousand likes, but nothing compares to when you show a kid something new. Their eyes light up and the world opens for them. I mean, I’m from Michigan. We’ve had some ultimate crap dumped on us, communities abandoned. A lot of people left or gave up hope. But kids are still growing up there. If I can inspire one or five or fifty kids that they can be more? Then I’ve done my part.”
“Wow,” I said, stunned. Chad, the burly ex-football player, who had always taken on the role of dumb-jock, seemed to really have it together. “That sounds amazing.”
“It’s not full-time yet,” Chad added. “But we have the non-profit registered, all the paperwork filed. We’ve got a few partners in the community. Freya’s donating a few machines. MaryAnn’s new vendor is sending some fabric. Lots of small area donors of supplies and talent. We’ve had basic mending classes, how to read patterns classes, crochet and knit classes, and even upcycling classes.”
“There will be a lot of expansion to the non-profit in the new year,” MaryAnn said. “Part of why we are here, to make connections at the convention with suppliers.”
“If there is anything we can do, please ask,” Alex said.
“Agreed,” I said. “And I can teach you a couple basics while we’re here. The gloves are easy, so are the capes. The ear headbands don’t even take any sewing.”
“We’ll probably take you up on that,” Chad said as the waiter appeared to take our orders. “Most of the group is contributing something, whether it’s skill, or even a promise to visit and host a class. Every little bit helps.”
“We hope the group continues,” MaryAnn said. “Maybe expands in a different way. Like meetups to teach classes or at major shows. I don’t think anyone is giving up cosplay, just changing
our focuses a little.”
We ordered, and I couldn’t help but be dropped into a food for thought mode. How out of touch had I been? And hadn’t I blamed them for not reaching out? Only they were all busy creating amazing things too. Yes, I’d been floundering for a while, but I’d found a paddle and was working my way through the edge of troubled waters into a new career. Had the others been doing the same?
Alex squeezed my hand under the table and I turned to look at him. He made a silly face, tongue sticking out, eyes crossed. “You’re so weird,” I told him.
“You love my weird,” he said, tapping the chopsticks like they were drumsticks instead.
“I do,” I admitted.
His cheeks turned pink.
MaryAnn cooed at us. “You’re adorable.”
“You love my weird?” Alex asked again, looking me straight in the eye.
“Yes.” Then I realized what he was really asking. We hadn’t said it, had we? It was always something I hesitated with, again compartmentalizing. Yes, it was soon, but the time he’d been gone was brutal, lonely, and uninspiring. If he were ripped out of my life again, I wasn’t sure I’d hold it together. “Yes, I love you, and your weird.”
His face turned pinker. “Really?”
“Do I need to have it skywritten? Translated into Farsi? Paper piece it into a quilt?”
“No,” he said and leaned over to kiss me lightly on the lips. “I thought maybe because we were still learning…teaching…whatever, that it was too soon.”
“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same yet,” I told him. “Emotions are complicated things. And we have plenty of time to learn about each other.”
“I do though,” Alex said, almost stumbling over his thoughts as much as his words. “Love you, I mean. Am crazy about you. Your brain, the endless swirls of how your mind works, always creating, the well of knowledge, and well… I’m pretty fond of your face too. But I love you for being you.”
I smiled at him and accepted another light kiss. “Then I think we’re on the right path, yeah?”
“Yes,” he breathed.