Passages

by Passages (epub)

  Cloudbrother hesitated for a long time before replying, so long that she wondered if he had fallen back asleep. But then he turned, pulled her closer, tucked the crown of her head under his strong chin.

  “I am still a Herald, still and forever,” he said, his voice serene and sure. “But I have a sense, sweetheart, that you have a new path to follow, the way I do. We are in a turning of the seasons. And no matter what happens next, we are going to travel that new path together.”

  She considered his words, savored how they settled, like a balm over her heart. “You always know just the right thing to say,” she whispered gratefully. “Whatever happens, as long as we face it together, we will be all right in the end.”

  * * *

  * * *

  Sparrow dropped off at some point and only awakened the next morning after the others had already begun their preparations to leave. Bleary-eyed, she stretched out on the floor, stiff muscles protesting, then creaked to her feet.

  She got ready to go in a few minutes. “No breakfast?” she asked. Hoping deep down they would pause a little longer. Because the thought of dropping Tis off and riding away filled her with a wild and irrational grief. She wanted him to go, but she also couldn’t bear it.

  “No breakfast!” Tis said, brooking no opposition. “Let’s go, Mama. We can have something when we get to Haven.”

  Sparrow restrained a smile. He was reciting Sparrow’s usual “time to go” speech, using her own words against her now. That’s what kids were supposed to do.

  It was an easy ride now to Haven, through a well-populated and prosperous countryside. :The Council meets at midday,: Abilard said, his Mindspeech clear in Sparrow’s mind, oddly formal. :They are expecting us there then.:

  A frisson of worry worked down Sparrow’s spine. The Council! She had never appeared before it, and imagined an imposing spectacle. Not for the first time, she was relieved not to stand in the center of scrutiny, instead staying in a supporting role.

  It was not until they reached the outer limits of the great city that Sparrow learned the truth.

  :Mama,: Thistle said again. This time his words in her mind thrummed with a hint of anxiety layered over his excitement. Of course, he would be nervous as they got closer to the Collegium.

  The Companions moved at a steady trot now, and Sparrow had to concentrate on maintaining her seat behind Cloudbrother. Even so, she looked over at her son and nodded reassuringly once again. She wanted to tell him that he was equal to the challenge, that all endings lead to new beginnings, that love was greater than fear and would sustain him through his times alone.

  But to be a parent was to be continually surprised, and challenged, and sometimes gobsmacked. Because Tis wasn’t looking for her approval.

  :The Council wants to talk to you—especially you,: Tis continued, his words sharper this time, so clear and crisp she could all but see them rising in her mind like long slashing shadows. :You are summoned too, not just Papa.:

  Sparrow had to grab Cloudbrother hard to keep from tumbling off the back of Abilard’s muscled rump. “Me?” she managed to splutter, not just at Tis, but at all of them.

  Cloudbrother half-chuckled, half-groaned. “Well, remember what I said last night about traveling a new road together? That road is starting in the Council, sure thing. They want to see the both of us, but there’s no need to worry. You won’t be on the spot all alone, promise,” he said in his ordinary, warm, encouraging voice. He spoke to her as one villager to another, instead of in the language of Heralds and power-infused creatures.

  Sparrow had ridden with Abilard and Cloudbrother from the Vale to Haven any number of times before this, and Cloudbrother himself had appeared before the Council, for reasons ranging from mundane to shocking.

  But this time, it was Sparrow who was called.

  “Have I done something wrong?” she asked, her voice shaking. She couldn’t even pretend to take the news calmly. “Why else would they want to see me? I’m not a Healer. I’m not a Herald. I’m—”

  She cut herself off from saying it—she was a nobody. But she didn’t need the power of Mindspeech to convey what she believed to their small party.

  Sparrow felt a gentle caress of kindness emanating from Abilard, refuting her nonspoken words with pure emotion.

  “Don’t say it, or not-say it, my love,” Cloudbrother replied. “You are the heart of us, Abilard is right. Without you, I would be dead many times over, Tis would not exist, the Forest itself would be blasted to ruin by now. You don’t go about with airs, all fancy. No, you just make everything happen. There can be nothing to fear from the Council. Only good is going to come from this, I’m sure of it.”

  Cloudbrother’s words shocked her. After so much adventuring, she had thought that her days of adventure were done.

  But now . . . the thought of a new adventure, a new challenge, one that she couldn’t even imagine . . . part of her wanted to hide away at home in her role as the “little mother.” Her father’s nickname for her as a girl.

  But those days were long over. She was no girl. Sparrow was the heartmate of a Herald, the mother of a Herald to be. On the Council’s orders, she had traveled many times to far off, dangerous lands on desperate missions, fought off terrible threats to Valdemar in the heart of her home.

  But until now, she had always hidden under the protection of Cloudbrother’s wings. With a not-unpleasant shock, Sparrow realized that she had so much more to offer the Council than her role as a helpmeet.

  Playing small was a false humility.

  If the Council needed her to serve, she would do so gladly. Mixed in with her growing amazement was a lingering fear of the unknown and a wistful longing for her home, her nest.

  But Roark was right. Time to fly.

  :Mama, you always tell me to let things unfold in their good time,: Tis said. :Soon enough, we will know what’s what. Until then, we are still together.:

  Sparrow couldn’t bring herself to answer. Instead, she buried her face in Cloudbrother’s clean, snowy Whites, inhaling the clean smell of the linen mixed with his ineffable sandalwood scent.

  Tis was right. But between losing him to the Collegium and now knowing the summons to Haven was about her, Sparrow was hard-pressed to follow Tis’s sage advice.

  * * *

  * * *

  Haven overwhelmed Sparrow the way it did every time she entered the magnificent city. This time, she didn’t have time to visit her big brother Keeth, now advanced to a Captain of the Guards and living in his sprawling house filled with a mob of kids down the Hill, outside the gates.

  Instead, they rode straight for the city center, for the Collegium. They passed through the final set of gates, waved through by the guards, and there it was.

  The Collegium. And the Palace.

  The sight of the dormitories and the broad green stretching between them instantly called Sparrow back to Cloudbrother’s time here as a Trainee. Her eyes blurred with tears as she made out the tiny corner window of the room where they had stayed together, as a special dispensation.

  Sparrow was not a Trainee, but she was embedded with Cloudbrother’s group of them, and she had experienced the making of a Herald at a single remove.

  Milini and Abilard halted in the middle of the green, and they all took in the sight of the crisscrossing pathways, the graceful trees swaying in a light, fragrant breeze, the flags flying at the tops of the buildings, Heralds, Healers, Bards.

  It took Sparrow’s breath away, and the years too.

  The spell was broken by Tis’s voice. “It’s huge,” he said, his eyes goggling as he stared at the campus all around them. “It’s enormous! It’s a city within itself.”

  Tis had not been in Haven since he was a toddler, and apparently he did not remember his babyhood visit. It didn’t matter—Sparrow was as awestruck by the sight of the Collegium as Tis was.

&nb
sp; “Let’s report,” Cloudbrother said, his voice soft. “You will find your guide and a late breakfast too, I suspect.”

  :We will take it from here, Herald,: Milini whispered. :A quick farewell, now.:

  Cloudbrother twisted in the saddle as if he could see the Companion and his son, the newly Chosen. He opened his mouth as if to speak, then sighed and nodded, a lock of silver hair falling in front of his sightless eyes.

  “Yes, that is the right way,” he said, his voice gentle. “Farewell, Thistle. You will do us proud, I am sure.”

  And all at once, the separation was complete. Sparrow and Thistle exchanged one more long glance. She willed herself still, absolutely still except for one hand raised in farewell, and she smiled at him, one last smile.

  He smiled back, bent his head in thanks, and then he and Milini turned to head toward the main Herald dormitory.

  Sparrow watched them go in silence.

  “He’ll be fine, Sparrow,” Cloudbrother said. “He is going to have the time of his life.”

  “I know,” she replied. “He is meant for this. But I miss him already.”

  * * *

  * * *

  As Abilard wheeled and cantered for the Palace, Sparrow settled into a static calm. She no longer worried about the Council, because she was in that liminal place between an end and a beginning. She was sure the Council would have a pivotal role to play in what would come next, but at this moment, she was still focused on the most recent goodbye.

  The Palace was stunning in its magnificence. Sparrow had expected it to have altered from her memory, but if anything the edifice was even more exquisite than she remembered.

  Abilard took them through a massive courtyard covered in fine white gravel, the little stones crunching satisfyingly under his silvery hooves. They passed beneath an ornate marble arch, intricately carved with the royal arms of Valdemar, and into a second, smaller courtyard, this one paved in serpentine swirls of colored bricks.

  The door at the end of the pathway was shaped from a gigantic chunk of stout wood, looming far above Sparrow’s head. Abilard drew close to a mounting block that had been set up for a graceful dismount at the great entrance. First she, then Cloudbrother, slipped from the saddle, their legs sore and stiff from the long, unbroken ride. Sparrow surreptitiously stretched her legs under her long skirts, wiggled her toes to get the feeling back.

  “Here we go, then,” Cloudbrother said under his breath as the gigantic double doors swung open, revealing the two ceremonial Guards, one at each door, guarding the way.

  The one directly opposite looked the trio up and down.

  Burst into a huge smile of recognition.

  Keeth!

  It was Sparrow’s brother . . . that big, loveable dunderhead had made his way up in the world, indeed.

  “What are you doing here, little mother!” he exclaimed with a booming, disbelieving laugh. “Last I heard, you was doing your witchy ways up in the great northland. Don’t tell me you are the one what got summoned to the Council for afternoon session! Will wonders not cease.”

  “Hello, my big brother!” Sparrow entirely forgot herself, she was so happy to see him again. “My little one was Chosen just the other day, and he is down in the Collegium right now, getting settled. Lucky for me we could combine trips, all on the spur like this.”

  Keeth beamed. Bless the man, he was comfortable in his own big, loud life, and he was happy for her in her Herald-driven one. “I am not surprised, my bells and whiskers no! That little fella was Herald born, sure as I’m alive. Good for him. I will watch out for him, don’t you worry, Spark. I will do it, all the time, I’m right here after all.”

  The childhood nickname warmed her heart all the way through. “I better go,” she said. “I don’t want to keep the Council gentlefolk waiting on us.”

  He nodded, then playfully slapped the other guard’s shoulder with one enormous, meaty hand. “That’s my little sis, if you can believe it. We grew up in a goat pasture of a village up north near the border, and look at us! One in the Palace Guard, t’other rides with the Heralds.”

  Keeth took a step closer, bowed awkwardly at Abilard and Cloudbrother. “Good to see you again, bond brother mine.” He glanced at his fellow Guard, more serious now. “My little sister Spark’s heartmate, this Cloudbrother, I bet you heard wind of him as the Cloud Born, the Herald that brought the rains to Iftel some years back, in the bad drought time.”

  The other Guard’s face lit up in recognition, then he bowed deeply and motioned for them to pass. “My honor, fine folks, kindly head straight on until you reach the Council Chamber. A new built one, you’ll see, fine and grand.”

  “Thank you, so much,” Sparrow murmured. “Couldn’t have a better omen than your smiling face, big brother.”

  “Oh, now. An honor to see you both, and Mr. Abilard too, of course. An honor. If you can, stop by the house on your way back north, and we can put up some vittles for you and make you at home. If you can’t, I know, a Herald’s life, I understand. If you can’t, ride in peace and light, little Spark.”

  She reached to him from where she stood between Herald and Companion, and their fingers touched, just for a moment.

  :This is where I leave you two, for now,: Abilard whispered into her mind.

  And before she could turn away from her brother to wish Abilard goodbye, he wheeled and clattered away, his magnificent head held high, his silvery-white tail flowing gaily behind him. The sight of him warmed her to the core . . . clearly Abilard wasn’t worried in the slightest.

  Sparrow smiled her farewell to Keeth, and then she and Cloudbrother paced together down the enormous stone hallway to the Council room, where Sparrow was the central order of business. By now it was after lunch, but she could not imagine taking the tiniest bite.

  * * *

  * * *

  By the time they were admitted to the Council, the meeting was well underway. Liveried pages hurried to and fro in the cavernous hallway outside the Chambers, enormous parchment rolls wedged under their arms or in coarse canvas bags, quills stuck behind their ears.

  The entire room was taken up by an enormous semicircle of a table, deep mahogany and polished to a mirrorlike shine. High windows rose behind, sunlight shining through like a sunset through primeval forest branches. The personages collected along the semicircle were all backlit in shadows.

  Sparrow searched the faces of the Heralds she saw scattered through the room, but she recognized none of them. Cold fingers of worry slipped around her heart and gently squeezed.

  It was fully as scary as she had imagined, and the silence that greeted them was both unearthly and unnerving. After a moment’s hesitation, she made a small curtsy—it never hurt to be polite.

  A woman dressed in an intricate gown of russet silk with yellow peeking through slashed sleeves and glittering stones all along her bodice, with blonde hair piled high on her head, regally bowed in acknowledgement of Sparrow’s polite curtsy.

  “I will introduce myself,” the fine lady said. “I am Lady Darandell. I build hospitals, and supply them with tools of the healing arts. I suppose I am something of an artificer and something of a benefactress. We have been asked to convene to consider you, and your heartmate both.”

  Sparrow swallowed hard and resisted the urge to curtsy again. “We are here to serve,” she replied, and though there was a little tremor in her voice, Sparrow stood proudly next to Cloudbrother. “Though,” she admitted, “I’m not sure what you should do with the both of us.”

  Lady Darandell smiled, and her glamour dazzled Sparrow and spooked her in equal measure. “There are those here who believe that your heartmate should be allowed a retirement. Do you not think he should have some rest?”

  The silence weighed heavily in the room, with only a creak of a chair or tap of a foot to break it. Sparrow shot a glance to Cloudbrother as he stood tall and wait
ed.

  “Ask Abilard, I’d say . . . he and Cloudbrother can answer that question for you the best,” Sparrow finally replied. “I don’t understand. Why do you wish to ask me about Herald business at all?”

  The Lady leaned forward, her expression brightening. “Because, Sparrow, regardless of your heartmate’s future, we are here to consider your own mission.”

  “My mission? I’ve been serving my mission all this time. Helping Cloudbrother.”

  “But I do believe that mission is complete. If I do not mistake, your heartmate’s mission is now to help you. And I am sure your Herald will gladly serve, as always.”

  Her heart pounding, Sparrow whirled to face her heartmate. “I don’t understand, love . . . help me to understand what the Council is getting at.”

  But it was not Cloudbrother who answered, but Abilard, whispering again into her mind, and her heartmate’s too. :I believe that it is your turn now to take the lead,: Abilard said, with a caress as gentle and strength-giving as he had ever given her. :And I say we three have only just begun.:

  It was only in this moment that Sparrow understood that in actuality, Abilard had Chosen her, as surely as he had Chosen her heartmate when he was a young man and near death from the fever that had blinded him. Without her, Cloudbrother could not have become a Herald. And while Sparrow herself was not a Herald, one could certainly serve the Crown and Valdemar in other ways.

  “We are a pair,” Cloudbrother said aloud to the Council, and he reached for her hand. Gratefully, Sparrow slipped her fingers into his, and he squeezed gently. “I will support my heartmate and help her in her mission, as she has helped me in mine.”

  The Lady nodded, and all at once the tension in the room dissipated like a morning mist. “Yes, this is what I was hoping,” she said. “We need help, a Healing of sorts. All across Valdemar, mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers, say goodbye to those they love who are Chosen, and who ascend to their destinies as Heralds. The best and the brightest leave their homes, and often they leave huge holes behind.”