For Now

by Chelsea M. Cameron

  “Not sure yet.” I have to call bullshit on that. Anyone who’s that serious about college and classes has a plan. He has to have some kind of plan.

  “Really?”

  He runs his hand through his hair. “Jesus, what is this, an interrogation? You going to water-board me next?”

  Touchy, touchy. “No, I just realized I don’t know much about you, you asshole. Don’t blame a girl for trying to get to know you. I won’t do it again.” I stab a shrimp and picture Javier’s head on the pale pink body.

  “Why do you want to know? Why do you care?” He says “care” like it’s a dirty word. I don’t care. I mean, I care a little. He is my roommate’s boyfriend’s best friend. So a little care is involved. But I don’t care a lot.

  “Just curious. And I don’t care. I don’t care what you do or who you do it with.” The easygoing banter we shared just a few minutes ago is gone and in its place is something more… hostile.

  “Didn’t think so,” he says and goes back to his pasta and Brussels sprouts. I never thought I liked those things, but I’d eat them every day if Javi made them like this. They’re freaking delicious.

  We finish the rest of the meal in silence, except when Javi grabs the dishes from me, and silences my protests with a look.

  “Oh, you’ll do my dishes but not your own? Who cares now, Javi?” I know for a fact that he’s a slob at his own place because Jett complains about it to Shannon and then Shannon complains to me.

  I stand next to him by the sink and lean against the counter. We’re so close that if he turned ninety degrees we’d be facing each other.

  The water runs and I try not to be too aware of how he smells. Always just so faintly of cigarettes and warm laundry. For a guy who’s a self-professed player, he almost never wears cologne.

  The water splashes and Javi continues to ignore me until I look up and see his teeth are clenched so tight his jaw is popping. Damn, that’s attractive. Among his many seductive qualities (the arms, the tattoos, the I-know-what-I-want-and-it’s-you attitude), his jaw is near the top of the list.

  I turn away from him, but not before he says something so low I almost don’t catch it over the gurgling of the water from our crappy sink.

  “I don’t care.”

  He doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself after the dishes are done, the pots are scrubbed (better and more thoroughly than they had been in their entire pan lives) and the kitchen put back the way it had been, albeit cleaner.

  “You can stay, if you want. I have to do homework, so it’s going to be boring and I’m going to need complete silence,” I say. Usually I go to the library with enormous noise-cancelling headphones, but since Shannon is gone tonight, I was going to take advantage and try to get ahead on some of my reading. The Socratic method of calling on random people for answers is something most of my professors utilize to terrorize their students into actually paying attention to the reading. And I’m sure as hell not going to look like a moron in front of an entire roomful of people.

  He makes a sort of grunting noise guys do that can pretty much mean anything from “yes” to “fuck no.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  I go into the living room and start spreading my books out. Shannon doesn’t understand why I don’t read as much fiction as she does, but honestly, I have enough reading in my life already.

  I don’t look up when Javi appears in the doorway, stack of textbooks in hand. I don’t look up when he settles himself on the floor, or when I toss him a pillow to use as he wishes.

  He doesn’t say a word, and I don’t say anything either.

  Usually once I have quiet, I can completely focus on my material. I always find things that everyone else thinks were boring, fascinating.

  But that was before Javier was sitting on the floor in front of me, highlighter in hand, pen balanced on his ear and reading in a slouched (but still very sexy) position.

  He isn’t even doing anything. Just breathing and reading, his gorgeous eyes bouncing along the page. Ah, he’s a fast reader. That explains a lot. I watch him out of the corner of my eye and either he’s skimmed the page, or he’s an even faster reader than I am. I’m going to bet the latter, and be green with envy.

  “How’s that homework coming?” he says, not looking up from his book as he highlights a passage. I can’t see what subject it is, but the print is almost as small as my textbook and there aren’t any pictures to break up the giant blocks of text.

  “Fine,” I say, my eyes going back to my page and trying to remember what was on it.

  “It would go a lot better if you weren’t studying me instead of the book.” He makes another highlight and then looks up with a grin.

  “Shut up. I wasn’t studying you.” I’ve been looking at him. That’s totally different than “studying.”

  He rolls his eyes and goes back to reading and highlighting.

  “Whatever you say, Haze.” My heart always does a little flip when he uses my nickname. I can’t help it, or I would definitely make it go away. I shouldn’t get so excited by the sound of my own damn name.

  Resisting the urge to chuck a pillow at him, or stick my tongue out at him, I glue my eyes back to my book and do my very best to ignore him.

  Ignoring Javi is a full-time job in itself. It isn’t anything he does, per se, it’s just… him. His body taking up space and the sound of his breath and even minor movements that distract my peripheral vision.

  I want to just give up, but I don’t want him to know he’s the reason I’m throwing in the towel. So I just keep trying to read and remember and not be distracted by him.

  “Would it help if I went to another room?” he says, and I snap my eyes back on my book.

  “Help with what?” I ask, not looking up.

  “The fact that you’ve been undressing me with your eyes for the past ten minutes.”

  “I have not,” I say, even though I definitely have been. But Javi is one of those guys you really want to undress. To see how far those tattoos go…

  Javi chuckles and then slams his book shut, making me jump.

  “I think I’m going to have some coffee, want some?” At this rate, if I have coffee I’ll probably be up all night, but I’ll probably be up all night anyway. My nocturnal work schedule messes with my sleep patterns and most nights it takes a long time for me to fall asleep.

  “Sure,” I say and close my own book.

  Javi gets up and heads to the kitchen and after a second, I follow him. For a big guy, he moves really well. And hell, I’ve seen him dance. Javi in motion is a beautiful thing.

  “Stop staring at my ass,” he says, his back to me. It’s like he has eyes in the back of his head.

  “Stop being so full of yourself,” I say, going to the fridge and looking for something to do. I stare inside and then grab a few apples and some string cheese.

  Javi just shakes his head as he fills up the coffee pot and pours water in the machine.

  “Want to have a smoke with me?” I shrug and we both head outside. This time he’s the one with the lighter and he hooks me up.

  “We really should quit,” I say as we breathe out in unison, our smoke clouds joining and then dissolving into the night.

  “We should,” Javi says, but we keep smoking until we’re down to the butts and stub them out in the bucket Shannon and I keep by the door.

  “I will if you will,” I say. I like the idea of doing something like this with Javi. A challenge that maybe I can beat him at.

  “You mean that?” He holds the door open for me.

  I shrug.

  “Sure, why not? Make a contest out of it. They say you’re more successful when you try to quit with another person.” I’d read that in one of those pamphlets Shannon kept sneaking into my room when I wasn’t home to subtly tell me I should quit.

  “And what are the terms?” The coffeepot makes a horrible noise and then the fresh coffee starts pouring into the pot. I get out the mugs and hand one to Javi.
Our hands brush and I try not to blush.

  I’m not the kind of girl who blushes when she touches skin with a guy. Hell, I don’t blush about much of anything.

  But Javi makes me blush. I love it and I hate it.

  “The loser…” I say, trying to think of something.

  “Has to pose nude for the winner,” Javi says and I make a sound of disgust.

  “Classy.”

  “Hey, that would be more than enough incentive for me. How about you?” Sure, I’d love to see him naked. But I don’t want him to know how much I want to see him naked.

  “Loser buys the winner dinner? Or is that too cliché?” I say. Javi pours me some coffee and then pours himself some.

  “Loser serves the winner dinner. Naked.” He really wanted nudity to be part of this deal.

  “No naked!” I yell and he just grins.

  “Why not? It’s so much fun.” He’s not even touching me, but I’m awfully turned on. Must be all the naked talk. I need to put the kibosh on that.

  “For you, maybe.”

  “Oh, I think you’d enjoy it. Nudity usually leads to… certain activities that are more fun when you don’t have any clothes on.”

  “Are you trying to seduce me, Javi?” I go for a joking tone, but the look he gives is pure sex.

  “Yes,” he says and sips his coffee. He’s dead serious. No joking.

  “Well, stop it,” I say and have to turn away from him. I grab my snack and head back to the living room. Javi follows silently.

  “Why?” he says when I sit down. He takes his place on the floor, but doesn’t pick up his books.

  “Because it’s weird, okay?” I really don’t want to talk about this. I never should have had him over.

  “Weird how?” He won’t let it rest, will he? I sigh and set my coffee down.

  “Because… because it’s wrong. I don’t like it. So stop it.” Only the first part of what I said is true. Javi and I would be an epic disaster. Sure, the sex might be good, but the aftermath? It would be awful and I’d definitely regret it. This is why one-night-stands with people you don’t know very well are good. Like sexual Kleenex. Use once and throw away.

  “You want me to stop?” he asks.

  “Yes.”

  He shrugs.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “Okay. I’ll stop.”

  Javi and I go back to our studying and I start to wonder how long he’s going to stay as it gets later and later. Having another person around is less lonely, but I’m getting to the point where I want to take my bra off and put my pajamas on.

  But I would dance around naked jamming to The Bangles before I would ask him when he is going to leave. However, I could heavily hint.

  “It’s getting late,” I say, and fake a yawn.

  “Uh huh,” he says, not looking up from his book. He’s been working away diligently, taking notes and highlighting and moving from one book to another. I should know, I’ve been watching him. Studying, but also watching him. I’m a good multi-tasker.

  “Getting a lot done?” I say and he finally looks up at me. Shit. He’s got a Study Face and… wow. Talk about attractive. I knew, even before he told me about his double major and minor, that Javi is smart, but seeing him in action is almost as much of a turn on as if he’d done a striptease.

  Smart guys are hot. Period.

  “Why do you want to know?” A smirk flits across his lips, but he suppresses it.

  “No reason.” I go back to my book and then yawn again. He chuckles and I look up.

  “You’re trying to kick me out. I get it, I get it.” He stands up and starts gathering his stuff.

  “I’m not kicking you out. It’s just getting late. And don’t you have better things to do?” And by “things” I mean “other ladies.”

  He shakes his head.

  “Nope. I got nowhere to be. Jett and Shannon are probably on round two by now. She’s loud, did you know that?” I cringe.

  “Yeah, I’ve heard.” She tries to be quiet, but then she’s loud anyway. Sometimes I wonder if they’re secretly filming a porno in there.

  “But I’m happy for him. And her. They’re definitely suited for one another.”

  “Definitely,” I agree. Even though he’s a mohawk-rocking, graphic t-shirt wearing, origami crane-making guy and she’s an uptight, verbal-vomiting sweetheart. You’d never put them together, which, somehow, makes them perfect for one another.

  “Well, I’ll get out of your hair. Do you still want to do the quitting smoking thing? I’m up for it if you are. Loser buys the winner dinner. Twice.”

  Either way, that means I have dinner with Javi. There are worse ways to spend my time. Plus, it would allow me lots of ogling time.

  “Sure. It’s a bet. And I think we can trust each other to be honest? First one who smokes is the loser.” I stick out my hand and he shifts his books to his other arm and shakes my hand. His hands are warm, like he’s been holding them in front of a fire. Isn’t there some saying about warm hands meaning a warm heart or something?

  Javi squeezes my hand in his and then lets go.

  “You can trust me, Haze,” he says and I don’t think he’s just talking about the no-smoking bet.

  “Goodnight, Javier,” I say, and then feel like a total dork. I’m not some girl in a giant dress bidding adieu to her gentleman caller.

  “Goodnight, Hazel,” he says and then he does something totally unexpected. He leans forward and places the softest of soft kisses on my cheek. It’s not even a peck, it’s so gentle and brief. If I hadn’t been on the receiving end of it, I might not have even noticed it. A total non-kiss.

  But even that non-kiss sets my skin on fire and I have to fight the urge to grab hold of him, drag him to my bedroom and make him kiss me that way all over my body.

  And then the bastard winks at me and whistles as he walks out the door.

  “So, how was last night?” I ask Shannon the next morning when she stops by to change her clothes and take a shower before class. It seems silly that she comes all the way back to our place to do such things when she could have done both at Jett’s.

  “Ummm… let’s just say we tried some new things.” She giggles and blushes. Oh, sweet, innocent Shannon. She lost her virginity to Jett and he lost his to her. What’s more is that they’re in love, which, I’m told, makes sex better. I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been in love with anyone I’ve had sex with. I’ve always been able to separate sex from love. Because you can have amazing sex with someone you’re not in love with.

  “Oh really? Details.” I don’t really want to know the details, but this is part of my duty as Shannon’s BFF. Besides, I’ve shared plenty of my exploits with her, even when she begged me not to.

  She doesn’t tell me much, but I get the gist as I finish my second cup of coffee.

  “I’m going to go shower,” she says, glancing at the clock. She’s going to have to rush if she’s going to make it to her first class. I’ve scheduled all mine to start later in case I need to pick up an extra night at the bar during the week.

  “Why don’t you just do that at Jett’s?”

  She shrugs.

  “I don’t know. It feels weird. Like I’m living with him. And I’m not ready to be living with him.” Yeah, sure. Spending every night together and most days is completely unlike living with someone.

  “Yeah, I get that. So, I’ll see you tonight?”

  She shakes her head. “Can’t. I’ve got to work and then I have a mandatory study group. Because showing up every day for class isn’t enough anymore. I have to devote my outside of class time as well.” She sighs and I give her a sympathetic look. I know all about that. Being pre-law requires so much out of class time it’s a wonder I get any sleep.

  “And Jett’s coming back with me. Is that okay?” This is roughly the five-hundredth time she’s asked me if it’s okay that Jett comes over.

  “No. It was cool all those other time’s he’s been over,
but now I’m drawing the line,” I say. Shannon narrows her eyes.

  “Hey. I’m trying to be considerate. I’ve never done this boyfriend-staying-over thing and I want to make sure everyone is okay with it. Because if you weren’t okay with it, that would be a problem. Because I want you to be okay with Jett. I need you to be okay with Jett.” That’s Shannon. Always wanting to make everyone happy. She’s a much better person than I am.

  “Sorry. It’s good that you ask, but honestly, I’ll let you know if there’s a night I’m not okay with it. You are free to assume that I’m okay with it unless I tell you otherwise.” She nods and heads off to the shower and I go back to the law book I’d propped up behind my bowl of cereal.

  “Please tell me that’s not one of those skim-sugar-latte things,” a voice says behind me as I stir a packet of sugar into my coffee that afternoon. I don’t need to turn around to know that Javi is standing behind me with one of those looks on his face. Like he’s picturing me naked.

  “It’s black coffee with one packet of sugar. And what, you’d judge me on my coffee preference?” I say.

  “Maybe.” I roll my eyes.

  “That’s a really stupid reason to judge someone, Javier.” He shrugs one shoulder. What is he even doing here? He doesn’t have a coffee in his hand, so he must have spotted me and come over for no reason other than to harass me. As usual.

  “How’s the smoke-free life going?” I ask, hoping it will bug him, but all it does is make me want to go outside and have a smoke.

  He inhales and then exhales deeply.

  “Feeling good. How about you? No temptations?” Well, not before I’d seen him. I hadn’t even thought about smoking until now.

  “Nope. This is going to be much easier than I thought,” I say with false confidence as I sit down at a table for two a girl with a huge stack of books has vacated. Javi sits down across from me without even asking if he can. That’s another quality about Javier that makes me want to light a cigarette. He’s way too confident for his own good.

  “So, how’s your day been? Cramming lots of information in that sexy brain of yours?” he says, watching as I drink my coffee.