“Haley,” he says, his voice raw and scratchy.
“I’m here, Aiden.” Tears are falling down my face. “I love you.”
His eyes flutter shut again. “I love you,” he whispers. “Always.”
Aiden
Everything hurts. I don’t know where I am or why I can’t move. My throat is so dry and my tongue sticks to the sides of my mouth. Haley is looking down at me, crying. What is happening? My eyes close and I’m tired, so tired. I must have taken something, a bad combination of pills. Fuck. I didn’t mean to—again. And not in front of Haley.
“It’s okay,” Haley soothes. “I’m here, Aiden.”
A door opens and a man with a heavily accented voice comes in, speaking to Haley and someone else, I think. Haley’s hand slips off mine. I try to reach for her, lifting my left arm up and am hit with a horrible pain. My eyes flutter open and I realize I’m not in Haley’s bedroom. Panic sears through me. What the fuck? Why is Haley walking away? I need her. She can’t leave me.
“Hi Aiden,” someone says, speaking slowly. “It’s Dr. Gupta. Can you hear me talking to you?”
A doctor? I look away from Haley, who is standing in the back of the room. My eyes haven’t adjusted and I can’t see her features. Just her outline.
“Yeah,” I tell the doctor. “Where am I?”
“You’re in the hospital,” he says. “You were in an accident. What do you remember?”
From there, I go through a battery of tests. I become more and more alert as time passes. I’m told I was in a bad car wreck over a week ago, and that I’ve been in a coma ever since.
I don’t remember anything.
The last thing I remember was waking up in Haley’s bed, missing her while she was at work, and knowing that I had to come back to California for work before I could return to her. Then everything is black.
I’m fucked up and injured. Thankfully I’m kept heavily medicated. Just looking at the bars screwed into my arm makes me queasy. I thought rods and screws went under the skin. I can’t think about it or I’ll puke though I’m sure there is nothing to come up. It’s not like I was able to eat while I was in a coma.
When the doctor finally leaves, Haley comes back in. I want to sit up and hold her and kiss her, but I can’t. I can’t even lift my head.
“Haley,” I say and look into her eyes. She’s crying again, but the tears are happy. She comes to my bedside and takes my hand.
“Aiden,” she soothes and leans over, kissing me. I smile and curl my fingers around hers. She wasn’t in the car with me, was she?
Someone else steps into the room, closing the door behind them. I click my eyes past Haley and get hit with emotion when I see my sister.
“Aiden,” Avery says, tears streaming down her face. I swallow the lump in my throat and hold Haley’s hand tighter. Avery comes over and gently hugs me.
“Hi,” I croak out, throat still dry. “You got old,” I say and smile.
Avery laughs and wipes tears from her face. “And you haven’t aged a day. It’s not fair.”
I smile back. “It’s Hollywood magic.”
She sits near the foot of the bed and looks at me, shaking her head. “The doctor said you don’t show signs of major brain damage so far.”
So far? And wait, brain damage? I don’t feel brain damaged. Well, not any more than before. I look at Haley.
“You’re going to be just fine,” she says softly, and I believe her.
“I don’t know what happened,” I tell them. My eyes close. I’m so tired. “Can I have water?”
“I’ll ask the nurse,” Avery says and leaves the room.
“You were in a car accident,” Haley explains. “You were going too fast and your car hit a pole.”
“Oh. Which car?”
Haley raises her eyebrows, giving me that look that grounds me into reality. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to look at the pictures of the wreck.”
“You weren’t with me?” I ask, hopeful.
“No, I wasn’t. You really don’t remember?”
Her tone says something her words don’t. “No. What happened? Why wouldn’t you be with me?”
Pain flashes across her face. “It doesn’t matter, Aiden. Just focus on getting better, okay?”
I tip my head to my broken arm, thinking of the metal rods sticking into my bone. I feel sick. I close my eyes and wait for the nausea to pass. And I thought needles were bad. Fuck.
“Tell me later?” I ask and Haley nods. Avery and the nurse come back. I’m allowed to suck on tiny ice chips and let them melt in my mouth. Haley carefully spoon-feeds them to me.
“I have to go,” Avery says, standing and blinking back tears. “But I’ll be back soon.” Her eyes go to Haley’s and her jaw tightens. She lets out a breath and looks back at me. “Mum is coming,” she says, guilt rippling across her face. “She’s very worried.”
I close my eyes. I’m too tired and weak to get pissed. “I don’t want to see her,” I say.
“Aiden,” Avery starts.
“Wait and see,” Haley says. “You just woke up. If you don’t want to see her now, then don’t. But maybe tomorrow.”
“Fine,” I say, so grateful for Haley. I know she won’t let that woman who claimed to be my mother into the room if I didn’t want her.
“All right,” Avery says. She comes over and kisses my cheek before leaving. I’m alone with Haley.
“I love you,” I whisper and let my head fall to the side. “I always will.”
Haley leans over and presses her lips to mine. “I know you will. I love you too.”
* * *
My mum has been here for two days, and for two days I’ve refused to let her into the room. I’ve slept most of that time, anyway. On day three, Haley and my sister go down to the cafeteria for breakfast while the nurses give me a sponge bath. I can hardly move, but I hate this so fucking much.
I’m weak, and I’ve been told I’ll need a lot of physical therapy once the bones are healed. But they will heal. I will get better and can go back to work. I just have to be really careful until then.
I won’t be able to live on my own. There is talk about live-in nurses and physical therapists coming to my L.A. home, that I can be treated there once I’m released from the hospital. That’s great and all, but it’s not what I want.
What I want is Haley. What I want is to go back to the farmhouse and pick up right where we left off. She said things were wonderful between us, and then I left and got in the accident. Something is missing. I can tell by the pain in her voice, the pain that’s reflected in her eyes.
What the fuck did I do?
And why the fuck did she forgive me? I was drunk when I crashed. My blood work came back showing that I was seriously fucked up on pills and booze. I’m lucky I didn’t hit anyone and kill them.
I don’t just need physical therapy, I need rehab. For the first time, I see that taking prescription pills is a problem. My problem.
I have a problem.
“Aiden?” Haley calls as she comes into the room. “Are you awake?”
I open my eyes and look at her. I’m sitting up in bed, watching TV as I wait for her to come back.
“Yeah,” I say with a smile. “How was breakfast?”
“The food is surprisingly good here,” she says and sits next to me. I take her hand in mine, only able to use my right hand. “Your mom wanted me to ask you…” she starts and trails off with a sigh. “Aiden, you should make peace with her. Not because she deserves it because I don’t think she does, but for your own sake. You can let it go and move on.”
I look at her incredulously. Forgive my mother? The woman who let her husband beat the living shit out of her first born? No fucking way.
I open my mouth to say so and stop. Haley has no mother to be mad at. She has no mother to hate and resent.
“You’re right,” I rasp. “I’ll never be okay with what she did, but you are right. For my own sake.”
Haley smi
les and takes my hand. “I’ll stay the whole time. If you want her to leave, just squeeze my hand like this.” She gives my hand three short squeezes in a row. “And I’ll take care of it.”
My heart speeds up just a bit at the thought, but I have Haley with me. I can do this. With her, I can overcome anything.
Haley
I stand outside Mom’s bedroom door. I’ve yet to go in since she passed. I close my eyes, reach for the doorknob, and twist. It creaks open, the familiar groan of the hinges sending a wave of sadness through me. I’ll never hear that door open and see Mom coming in or out again.
But Aiden will be, and I need to get the room ready. It was his idea to come here; he asked me if it was okay. Of course I agreed right away. After weeks in the hospital, he was released but still needed quite a bit of help. Having a broken arm and a broken leg made it impossible to use crutches, and he still had to be careful with his broken ribs, a lung injury, and head trauma.
He was coming tonight, and I had the day to get things ready. I open my eyes and look around the room, feeling emotional. As I step in, a feeling of peace washes over me, and I just know Mom is looking down at me, smiling.
The bedspread is pulled back on the mattress. A cup of coffee sits long evaporated on the nightstand. It’s like Mom was just here, and like she’s coming back.
It’s okay, kid, I hear her say. I nod and look up. It is okay. Aiden can’t go up or down stairs yet, and we need a bed bigger than the one in my room. I can’t squish next to him until his injuries are healed.
I sink on the bed, smelling the last remnants of Mom’s perfume. Chrissy barks when the doorbell rings. I look around the room once more and go to answer the door. It’s boxes of Aiden’s stuff, packed by Claire. I drag it all inside and dump it on the couch, using the boxes to stash Mom’s stuff. I’ll go through it all someday, when I’m ready.
Four hours later, the room is done. I put fresh sheets on the bed and throw the comforter in the wash. It’s the only large comforter I have, but seeing it reminds me of Mom, and I can’t do that. I bring my old quilt from my upstairs bed and spread it out.
I have just enough time to take care of the horses before Aiden arrives. He has a long recovery and probably months of physical therapy ahead of him, but he’s going to be okay. He promises me so, at least.
He has no memory of the accident or the week leading up to it. He doesn’t remember leaving me, and he looked so guilty, so completely torn when I had to explain. We wished I could forget too.
I shower, change into pajamas, and start making chicken enchiladas—one of Aiden’s favorite meals. I pull them out of the oven right as the car comes down the driveway. My heart swells and I run outside to greet him.
He struggles out of the back of the car before anyone can help him, smiling broadly as soon as he sees me. I throw my arms around him, careful not to press on his injured torso. He kisses me, tongue slipping into my mouth and giving me the same knee-buckling, panty-melting kiss as before.
“Fuck, I missed you,” he pants. “And I missed this place.”
“I missed you too,” I say. “And so did everyone else.”
Aurelia whinnies from the side pasture, and Aiden smiles. He looks past me. “Is that my girl? She’s so tall!”
I blink back tears. “She’s a leggy little thing. We can see them in the morning. You should get inside.”
Aiden raises an eyebrow, sick of me doting over him already. He better get used to it. He’s got a few more weeks in that cast. He loops his arm around me and refuses his wheelchair, insisting on hobbling to the house instead.
“It smells good,” he says when we get inside. We eat dinner then move to the bedroom. He settles into the pillows and holds out his arms for me. I rest my head on his chest, careful to avoid hurting him.
“Haley,” he says, running his fingers over the burn on my right shoulder. “I will never leave you. This time I promise. And I will never break another promise. I love you, and I always will.”
Aiden
“I’m really lucky,” I say as I pick at the label on my coffee. I flick my eyes up to the woman interviewing me from E! News and force a smile. Lucky. The word has been said so many times it was beginning to lose its power.
I was lucky to escape the wreck with the injuries I did. I was lucky the EMTs arrived within minutes and pulled me from the car before it burst into flames. I’m lucky I made a full recovery. And I’m lucky to have someone to take care of me, who stayed by my side the entire time and never gave up.
It wasn’t luck that kept Haley with me, it was love. Calling it luck seems insulting, like it discredits her devotion to me. When it comes to us, I am the lucky one.
The journalist nods. I can’t recall her name. Chelsea, maybe? “You look great,” she says, flashing a smile. “If I hadn’t known about the accident, I never would have guessed.”
I smile and laugh like I’m supposed to. I have scars, and a little patch of short hair on the back of my head from having the brain pressure monitor inserted into my skull. It’s hidden underneath my stupid long curls, and I tried to use it to get the producers of Shadowland to let me cut the rest of my hair to match. They didn’t go for it.
“And you’re back to work now?” she asks.
“I am. It’s so good to be back. I’ve missed it a lot after nearly six months off.”
“Are you able to do everything like you did before?”
I hook my nail behind the label and rip it down. “No, I can’t do all my own stunts at the moment, and it kills me. I’m so particular about my character. I’m probably driving the stunt guy nuts.”
“What are you working on now?”
We talk about the current season of Shadowland and future projects. It’s a standard interview, one I consider boring, and my thoughts drift to Haley. I’ve been away filming and we haven’t seen each other in two weeks. I flew into New York yesterday for a talk show, and she thinks I’m going to be here for another few days, but I’m leaving early in the morning to surprise her.
It’s a week and a half before Christmas, and I have a while off work. I can’t wait to spend my days with her. Again.
“So,” the interviewer says. “Let’s talk about your girlfriend. Haley, right?”
Haley got her fair share of media attention after she told off a paparazzi at the hospital, and the whole thing was filmed. Once the public found out about my girlfriend—a random girl from a small town in Montana, suffering the tragic loss of her mother and struggling to keep her farm—they became a little obsessed.
We kept quiet for months. I didn’t have much choice, anyway. I relied on Haley for everything. With extensive injuries, I needed help with simple tasks and couldn’t even get up to use the toilet on my own. Haley was patient and took care of me.
Things weren’t perfect between us though. I lost all memories for the week surrounding the accident. The last thing I remembered was flying back to L.A. after wrapping up on location for The Last Ride. Then it’s black after that. I know Haley was at the hospital with me. I vaguely remember her holding my hand and hearing her voice. I know I opened my eyes and saw her face, but things get fuzzy.
I don’t remember walking away from Haley. I don’t know why I would. She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It didn’t take long for her to trust me again, and to know that I will never leave her—again.
“What about Haley?” I say, getting defensive.
“You two met when you were filming in Montana, correct?”
I nod. “We did.”
“And it’s a bit of a Cinderella story. Small-town girl, falling behind on payments on the family farm, then she meets her Prince Charming, who gives her the happily ever after she was searching for all along.”
I shake my head. “It is a bit of a Cinderella story, but you’ve got the rolls reversed. She gave me the happily ever after.”
* * *
I impatiently look out the barn door, waiting for Haley to come home from work.
Shakespeare nudges me.
“I know,” I huff. “I’m bored too. And a little nervous,” I admit. Benny paws at the ground. He’s tied up in the crossties, and both he and Shakespeare are saddled and ready for a trail ride through the snowy mountains.
I arrived this morning, just hours after Haley left for work. She’s still writing articles for that small press, still hating it, and still wearing high-collared shirts to work to keep her creeper boss from staring at her tits.
“Maybe she won’t have to do that much longer,” I tell Shakespeare. I zip my coat all the way up and breathe on my cold hands. Gray clouds stretch across the sky, promising snow. I look outside and down the road, feeling impatient. I want to go into the heated tack room and warm my hands—and my toes, my face, well, pretty much my whole body.
But I don’t want to risk missing Haley. I step closer to Shakespeare for warmth. He lowers his head.
“Thanks, mate,” I tell him, pulling my gloves from my pocket and putting them on. Phoenix and Aurelia are still here and will stay here. Aurelia is my horse now, and I want Haley to teach me how to train her. And Phoenix was always going to stay. Her burns finally healed, but it wasn’t without a fight. I still don’t know how Haley did it all: taking care of me, taking care of the horses, and then going to work. She really is amazing.
Sundance and Gandalf found homes. I wasn’t here when they left, but coming back to the barn without them was bittersweet, and caused a little flicker of sadness in my heart that I wasn’t expecting. Their stalls filled quickly, and right now Haley is working with two wild mustangs that were injured during a BLM roundup.
The whirl of a car engine echoes across the land, and snow crunches under tires. I peek out the open Dutch doors and smile. I move Shakespeare away from his door. Haley will notice right away when two of her horses don’t lean out to greet her, and she’ll come rushing into the barn.
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