Relonor's Journal

by River Gheuens

  David screeched into my ear, before he started claw walking down my shoulder to my forearm. I could kind of taste what he wanted, which was a perch to hold onto. I followed the feeling of needy thought in my mind.

  I silenced my mind, like while you are meditating, when you finally get all those voices running around in your head for one second to shut up. You know what I mean. There it was, a sharp canvas of claws on my arm. I picked the canvas up in my mind, which had more than the need attached to the canvas. There were feelings there, which contained safety and love. I set the mental canvas down when I noticed an even more beautiful canvas in my mind.

  I picked up the second canvas. I was flying. I could feel the wind going through my feathers. I felt freedom and joy. I saw everything in the forest around me, in crystal sharp clarity. At any thought of a particular piece of the canvas, it swelled in my vision, which revealed even more details of what there was to see.

  When I pulled myself from the mental canvas, I was on my knees crying. What I had just seen was a glimpse of heaven looking down upon this Earth. The emotions were raw and savage, not in the first canvas, but the second canvas. The first seemed to be almost as if he was trying to telling me what he wanted. The second was a memory.

  I tried to calm my brain into quiet again; however, there were too many thoughts with theories which were forming, being tested before either, being put into a box to give more thought to the theory later, or discarded back into the blackness of my mind.

  I did the next best thing. I pulled up the memory. The feelings were not there but the canvas was, a canvas of the waterfall. A short waterfall, which fell into a big lake surrounded by trees.

  I added up the images with what I think he was telling me. It was safe to jump. I had to laugh, not a belly laugh, but a laugh which you would laugh when you found a huckleberry in which you never thought you could find.

  “Think I figured out your meaning. That canvas is right outside, is it not? You flew around yesterday to scout the area while you were looking for food. You are telling me it is safe to jump, right?”

  David just looked at me.

  I stood up with David riding on my forearm. I still had the fear, which was something I could taste, but the memory of flight, for the split second of time, enticed me to set myself free. I walked to the edge of the cavern mouth before doing the one thing I am good at. I slipped off of the edge. I fell forward, as I was trying to keeping body over David’s body, as the water fell, which was pushing me to the ground. It felt like I was forever in the water, before it slowly broke in front of my face.

  Then, I was in the air. I realized time was moving a little slower, as I extended my arms out from my body, to give David the sky again, to enjoy his flight, as I caught my own enjoyment.

  I was about thirty body lengths in the air, as I was looking over the lake and the trees, which David had shown me. The view swam up to my face, as I fell to the water below. The wind rejoiced, as I watched her envelop me, to take me to the lake, and to my wench.

  Entry 17

  4 Months Before

  Groenplaats

  On the morrow, we were found by a search party. Of course, it had to be Zalm’s party whom found us.

  They had spent days around where our horses were found. They were looking for us; however, Zalm and Nikki had lost us at the base of scree pile. He trailed off into seeing the smoke from last night’s fire, before coming to inspect the smoke. The main camp of searchers were at the lake, or headed to the lake, where our horses were found. No one was in the Southeast.

  Zalm had went about making a fire, while laying a red powder on the fire, which turned the smoke to a red smoke. This signaled we had been found, and to call off the search.

  Vadoma had started to tell the tale of us exploring when I cut her off. I told the hunting party we had gotten lost in some mines. I did not know why I hid the truth from them, but I wanted to come back to have a look at some of those rooms, before we told others of the find. Secretly, I wanted to keep the lake to myself.

  David had taken flight as they approached, though he had stayed out of sight. He was not hiding. The feeling from him, when he left, was a feeling of wanting the freedom of the sky. I had followed the thought, but I could not find the mental canvas in my head. It was the second day of riding, when I held my arm out for him to come to me. He flew in, with his graceful movements, before landing on my outstretched arm.

  Vadoma had halted the drawing of arrows as David landed, before starting his claw over claw crawling up my arm, until he rested on my shoulder, to share the horse ride. Zalm and Nikki had studied us with guarded eyes, as they tried to invade the secret, which I wanted to keep to myself, as I was still trying to figure out what it meant.

  We had spent almost nine days in the mine, and cavern, wandering around as we sought an exit. Zalm had informed me of the halt of the Samurai Festival, for a search to be carried out. The news had brightened my mood, as I decided this year, I would take, and pass, the Samurai test.

  My parents were kept back in town, in case some bad thing had happened to us. The people of the village wanted to keep them hidden from any grief, which they need not have, upon finding our bodies, in the worse case scenario. They were the first ones I saw, at the base of the watchtower, which had the region where the smoke of the search being called off had come from.

  Many from the Romani had run to Vadoma, as they were asking her questions. One thing I did notice, over and over, was ‘Mara Soră.’ It was a word I have heard before, though could not place my finger on where I had heard the word.

  I dismounted from my mount, after David took flight. He disappeared into the sky. After the brief look at David flying away, my parents attacked me with hugs and tears.

  I noticed a woman, who looked a lot like Vadoma, who was doing the same to Vadoma. Of course, Vadoma was watching our reunion, from the attention the woman was giving unto her. I motioned with my head to get her to come over. Emotions flowed over her face, as she struggled to make the decision, before leading the woman over to us.

  “This is my birth mother, and the Mother of the Boosplaats Romani.” Vadoma barely dropped her head in a sign of respect. “This is Ashley, or as I call her, mom. This is Richard.” She came over to take my hand in hers, while entwining our fingers. “This is their daughter, Relonor. She is one of the closest friends I have in the Groenplaats.”

  Her mother looked over our entwined hands, while taking me in with a dismissive glance, before lifted her eyebrow to Vadoma. “Mother, please.” The silence continued. “Mother, she does not know.” She was finding the ground very interesting, as she dragged her boots in the dirt, to make images in it. The silence stretched on. Finally, Vadoma blurted out, “Fine. Mother…this is….” She bit her lower lip, while glancing at me out of the corner of her eyes. “The woman…I love.”

  I am pretty sure I was standing, though it fell like I was falling to the ground while soaring in the clouds. There was definitely clouds there with talking rocks which were finally stunned into silence.

  As my mind came back together, with mostly the What did she say? and What does she mean?, my mouth decided it had not had a walk in a while, so strolled into the middle of the horse trail, and asked, “What?”

  Everyone had a laugh at the situation, except her Mother, who continued her stare. Her Mother started talking to Vadoma in Romanian. The heat of an argument came to life.

  Papa must have read my mind, as he stepped in front of me, while asking her Mother, “Excuse me. Would you like to fill me in on what you are saying? It is impolite to talk in a language, which I do not understand, as this concerns my daughter and her friend.”

  Her Mother did not miss a beat in the lie, as I knew it was a lie, from the look on Vadoma’s face. “I was asking her, why they would go forth without a proper escort, is all alţii. It could have been worse…”

  She trailed off at seeing the bore papa’s eyes were trying to stare into her. “Your daughter was
with a proper escort, as I swear this upon my blade. SHE IS a proper escort, as I HAVE trained her. Do you doubt these words?” I have never heard papa use the venom he injected into his words.

  Vadoma looked shocked with the fact papa would talk to her Mother, in this fashion. Her Mother looked papa up and down, as she was taking in his measure. “I do not doubt your words, alţii, but if your hand does not leave those blades, you will not walk away from me.”

  I pulled papa back by the elbow, as I looked at Vadoma while blurring, “What do you mean exactly when you say, ‘This is the woman I love?’ Like, exactly.”

  I really need to find a lesson which can help with my walk about mouth, and keep it from blurting things out.

  “I cannot lie to Mother. I can try to hide the truth from her. The truth is, I have fallen for you. However, you must stay out of this. This is a matter of Romani law, with not being involved with those who are not of the Romani.”

  Her Mother took in a deep inhale at having one of their secrets laid bear for everyone to hear. Vadoma turned to her Mother. “Yet, you demand the truth, as we keep secrets from them. Why? ‘Their people are still young and have much to learn?’ Rahat! Get off your mighty horse to look at life. It is messy, yet you are missing the beauty, by trying to force the laws of our people down our throats, when things have changed.”

  Vadoma was in her groove, and her Mother looked to be in shock. “Mare Soră! My daughter, you are out of line here!”

  Vadoma spit venom at her with her words. “Da! I have walked a tight line, and I am done with it. Am I to tell my heart it cannot have this beautiful woman, who has captured it so fully?”

  The crowd, which came to celebrate our return, instead found themselves in the middle of a family fight, which many of us were lost. Vadoma was spelling it out to us, in crystal clear words. “Am I supposed to turn my back to the most beautiful woman, whom I could ever hope to have? She is a woman, who you would respect, if you actually gave her a chance!”

  Her Mother noticed the crowd before ordering her daughter, “We will talk about this in private, Mare Soră!” Then she turned to walked away.

  Vadoma looked embarrassed. I did what my heart wanted me to do, as I walked over to hugged her. I asked her, with a whisper in her ear, “Truly?”

  “Da,” she answered as my parents hugged both of us, as we all had whiplash over the exchange which had happened. “Can we talk about this later?”

  I whispered to her, as to have our so public conversation not be overheard by my parents, “I am in no rush.”

  Mother quipped up, “She will wait as long as you need.”

  “Mother! Get out of our conversation!”

  “Have a private conversation, if you are not wanting other people to meddle, Sweets,” mother replied imperiously.

  “I would, if I did not have to get ready for the test. Do you know when they will be doing the Samurai test?”

  This stopped the hug festival we were privately having. Papa was the first to break the silence, “Are you sure?” With the silence broken, mother’s hand went to her mouth.

  My eye met his eyes, which held his gaze steady, even with the self doubt running through my head screaming no, though mouth answered, “Yes.”

  Papa dipped his head. “They will be holding it after sun’s crest. Your party was the last party to return. I know of one other person who will be taking the test. May chance allow, I will add you to the list myself. May I have the honor?”

  I studied papa, as I was not able to read his emotions as I could most of the time. I nodded my consent, as mother was pulling Vadoma off with the words, “We need to get ready for the test. We will be back in a bit, Sweets.” I think she wanted to steal Vadoma away for the gossip, in an attempt to hide her panic over the test.

  Vadoma’s face was as white as a ghost, as she was realizing she had just opened a jar of preserves before work had to be done. Work which did not need to have my hands have any question as to what they needed to do. I shrugged my shoulder at her. “Well, it is life being messy and all.”

  She laughed, while she closed the distance between our lips, as her free hands went to my cheek, before cupping them in her hands, as she promised my lips everything would be fine.

  Distantly, I heard mother speaking, “Well, it is about time.”

  Entry 18

  4 Months Before

  Groenplaats

  Papa had come to my room, after he put my name on the list before bringing the actual plate mail of the Samurai, to me in my room.

  I told papa I would not wear the heavy armor, as I was choosing to wear my Kikko armor, while I finished cleaning the last throwing dagger, before returning it to it’s sheath in my Kikko armor. I had set the silver polishing stone in the box, with the oil and cleaning cloth, which I sat the box on the bed.

  Papa did an appraisal over my weapons choices, as his eyes had picked up on the daggers I had in each boot as his eyes scanned passed my boots. He did not miss the one which was tucked away in my left forearm bracer, which was barely visible from my doublet’s sleeve. He shook his head at me. “All of those small blades… You already carry enough blades with a set of backup daggers. Why have the extra weight? Sweets, you will have other weapons to wield besides these.”

  I took the bow from my bed, before hanging it back onto the weapons rack. “Papa, I will have every weapon on me which I need…my mind and my hands.” I paused at the end, when I received a look of confusion from papa.

  “Are you using your fighting style then? Are you sure you want to take that style to fight the test with?” I was nodding my head as he continued. “You have no choice of the opponent who you will face. And, it could be more than one person, if the Samurai, Elders or Grand Masters think you bring dishonor to them, or the test. Or you are that cocky.” He paused for a moment, “Sweets, you know there is not a surety of you walking off from the training field with your life?”

  “Papa, I know. It does not matter the person in which I will fight against. I have already won the fight before fighting.” Papa lifted his eyebrows at me as I continued. “They will see me without heavy armor, or long weapons, before underestimating me. I have won, and they do not know they have lost.”

  “Sweets, there are many at the clearing at the end of their paths which thought the same thing as you. Do not mistake your hubris as your confidence.”

  I turned his words over in my mind, while thinking of the duel, from many months ago. He had underestimated me. I had also walked into the duel with hubris. The one variable, which I did not take into my calculations, is that I did not believe he would exchange his life with doing damage to me.

  I played over how papa had put me through the tests, to push my new style, as he tested my guard, and my foot work, while picking apart every step. Several times he tried to have me freeze in mid movement; however, the forces who would take me along the path, which I had released them into, could not be stopped on his whim, to be examined. Physics would not be ignored for a simple request.

  “It is not hubris, papa. The logical cause and effect, with the probability of choice, which all point to them being over confident with me. With me being something they do not know how to handle, it gives me the advantage in this test.”

  “Are you sure you can take any Elder, Grand Master or Samurai you are put to, Sweets?”

  I put serious thought into the statement. It was not so much the people I would fight against, but the different fighting styles which were practiced. Each style has a flaw. I would have to be patient for the opening, be it at the opening of the fight, or two hours later. There is always an opening.

  I replied confidently, “Yes.”

  Mother and Vadoma came back after an hour had passed, as I was in my meditation. I was using this time of preparation as a time to prepare the most deadly weapon I had at my disposal, which was my mind.

  Vadoma was in her best outfit. It was a festive Romani gown in the orange, yellow and gray, with the same color
ed piping along the dress’s seams. And, yes, there was piping between her bosom. I did take a peak once or twice.

  Vadoma strode into my personal space, before she grabbed the back of my neck. She brought me to her lips in such a quick and violent way, which caused me to wanted to always be on the receiving end of her violence. The kiss told me something else entirely. The kiss conveyed: she was proud of me, she was scared, and she loved me.

  I had wrapped my head around it, finally. I had felt so much pressure at the unknown. Could I actually let go of my being alone, to find the light? Could I let her light find it’s way into my darkness, so the shadows would come alive to dance?

  Mother and papa were coughing, as they had blushes on both of their faces. Vadoma beat me to it, “Come now. You have done a lot more than that to have her. So, quit being prudes!”

  I really wish I had beaten her to the line, because I did not want to think about my parents doing more than kissing. I mean, we know it happened, because I am here as proof it had happened. Let us leave the rest to NEVER think about, ever again.

  David had snuck up to the window sill before looking into the room with curiosity. I bet he was peeking in to see if I had any small animals for him to eat. Papa was the first to question about David. I made a point of not telling my parents any theory I had on why David was there. I informed my parents of him showing up in the mine, before dropping the conversation.

  I noticed mother had a small box, which she gave to papa. I turned the conversation around on papa, to get him talking about the box. He had handed it to me without a word. It was a simple wooden box, resembling the box he had given me, which had my throwing knives in it. I slid the little hinge aside to reveal the inside of the box. Inside, there was an eye patch.